Boyfriend keeps initiating plans then cancelling the last minute

I(21F) don’t get my boyfriend(22M) or what’s Hes doing. For some reason he’s constantly busy which he’s never been. He has free time and will initiate us to hang out while he has that little time. I get excited all day just for him to cancel last minute. This is like his 5th time this month, he never cancelled plans before. I read so many posts about stuff like this and it’s always the same answer “he’s not into you.” So I do my best to try to end things with him and even friendzone him but it makes him mad. He told me he was busy all week last week, and he was going to a party with family. So there was a lot of videos of the party getting shared on Facebook(he doesn’t have social media) and I looked to see if I could find him. I didn’t se anything sus. He wasnt around any girls are doing anything. He wasn’t doing much just standing there and he was pretty much the only person who didn’t have their phone in his hand. So this week free he told me he was busy, yesterday he called me wanting to hang out. He told me to text him when I’m done. So I got in the shower all excited and got dress then texted him was he ready, he texts me something popped he has to be somewhere. Maybe after? So after he’s done doing whatever he’s doing he says I can come. I don’t get out of bed or do anything cause I had a feeling he would cancel. About 3 minutes low and behold I get a phone call. He calls and says never mind don’t come, he has a lot on his mind he needs to think about. It’s really unfair and I wish he would tell me what’s really going on. I haven’t seen him since two and a half week. The day we finally did hang out, the few days before he had cancelled on me.

TL;DR: boyfriend initiates plans but always cancels the very last minute.

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* This article was originally published here

What can we all learn from watching couples in therapy? | Eva Wiseman

Imagine a world where we could hear what people were really trying to say

Every night my boyfriend and I have been sitting on the sofa and hungrily watching strangers break up. Couples Therapy is a docu-series filmed in the New York office of elegant psychoanalyst Dr Orna Guralnik as she deftly sieves the lumps out of four relationships. Once you have got over the bogglement at the idea that these couples have agreed to be so vulnerable in front of this many cameras, knowing every eye-roll and revelation will be seen by millions (including their dads, bosses and exes), you can relax into the radical entertainment. And some time after that, perhaps in bed, or when flossing your teeth, questions might appear. Questions like, “Do I interrupt like she does?” and, “Could that guy not perhaps take his awful denim cap off inside?” and, “How can any of us hope to understand each other when we can’t even understand ourselves?”

The structure of a couple is one I am familiar with and fascinated by. Why (I ask myself fondly, 18 years into a relationship that could not be more traditional if it wore a blazer and drank real ale) do we choose this partnership, generation after generation, morning after morning? Two strangers leaning against each other like two cards trying to make a shelter. I think often of the tree that grew around a bike, evolving into something monsterish and beautiful that would never ride again. When the bike was left chained there in 1914, the tree treated it like a wound, scarring and scabbing itself around the frame – now the bike is more than 7ft from the ground, and the tree a living metaphor for every long-term relationship on this bended, burning earth. I like it, I suppose. Is that enough?

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* This article was originally published here

Blind date: ‘He looked at me and said, “It’s OK, I only date older women”’

Krissie, 31, pension fund VP, meets Luke, 28, software engineer manager

Krissie on Luke

What were you hoping for?
A good laugh and a story for my friends.

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* This article was originally published here

You be the judge: should my wife stop nabbing all the best biscuits?

We air both sides of a domestic disagreement – and ask you to deliver a verdict
If you have a disagreement you’d like settled, or want to be part of our jury, click here

Alicia eats the chocolate biscuits too fast. My upbringing means I want them to last longer

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* This article was originally published here

Help! GF Still Talks To Her Ex!

I (25M) have been seeing my girlfriend (26F) for 18 months and just like each relationship we've had our up and down periods.

We recently had a bit of a heated argument about an ex that's still in her life. This ex has caused a few issues in the past such as trying to manipulate her emotionally on two separate occasions whilst we were together.

We made an agreement to remove ex partners from our lives due to my ex partner also trying to cause issues. I was happy with this and had no issues at all because I feel because my ex had been abusive (like my girlfriends ex was) that it wouldn't be an issue for me to completely cut her out from my life.

The only issue with this was that she had continued to speak to a couple of her ex's whilst I was completely unaware, this very much annoyed me when it slipped out in conversation that she had been in contact. I feel like this clear boundary we had set up had been broken and the trust I have for her had really been put to the test. This personally doesn't feel like a massive ask especially when you have held to your side of the deal.

I strongly still believe her ex still very much has strong feelings for her, from what I've heard about him his life isn't particularly great at the moment and he's miserable which to me the phrase 'grass isn't always greener' comes to mind which is why he seems to be trying to claw back at least something from their relationship.

I have always believed that if you are with someone else, contact with an ex who was abusive and continues to attempt to manipulate feelings cannot be kept as a friend because it and in my experience has made me question myself constantly and feel as if how bad must I be if they can still contact and support a past abuser?

Another thing that doesn't really help my confidence is that when we had an argument at one time she removed all pictures from her social media of the both of us but after almost 3 years apart she still has pictures of them? I don't know if that's either paranoia or something to consider.

Any help would be appreciated!

TLDR girlfriend talks to ex partner, am I thinking straight or just paranoid?

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* This article was originally published here

5 Signs That Your Work Friendship Is Toxic

Listen to your gut: It's a red flag if a work friend starts to make you feel uncomfortable.

* This article was originally published here

If You've Online Dated, You've Probably Been Love Bombed

This week's viral story about West Elm Caleb proves that it's all too easy to love bomb over text.

* This article was originally published here