I'm (M25) catching feelings for my best friend (F26) after breaking up with my ex-GF (F23) of 5 years

My ex-girlfriend "K" (F23) and I (M25) were together for 5 years and I'd say we had a great relationship, but it had it's problems. Last weekend we broke up. It was mutual and we both agreed that we still love and respect eachother, but the relationship was at a point where neither of us was happy with it. We both cried for hours and I honestly hope she's doing well and will be happy, even if it's without me.

Emotionally, I've been a complete mess all week. My feelings are a rollercoaster atm and sometimes I just suddenly sobbing, other times I can think about her and be fine with it. Throughout this week, I've talked to a few friends about my break up and about how I've been feeling. I've mostly been talking and hanging out with a good long-time friend (F26) "A". She's been here for me a lot this week and talked with me about how I'm feeling after the break-up and it has helped me a lot, I think.

The problem is, I think I'm catching feelings for her. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I'm nowhere near a point, where I want to pursue any romantic relationship with anyone. I'm a mental and emotional mess and want to take my time, to focus on myself and to find out what I need and want in my life to be happy. But I can't help but feel like I'm falling for her. It's not like we're doing much different stuff, after the break-up. I think maybe it's the fact I'm comfortable with being vulnerable around her or that I'm trying to replace what I've lost in my relationship, with my friendships? I'm not sure if these feelings are "real" or if they're a result of my fears and insecurities. I'm also not sure why I'm feeling like this and I'm scared that it'll mess up our friendship. Has anyone had a similar experience? Do I just wait and hope the feelings go away with time? Do I tell her and ask if we can create some distance for some time?

TLDR: Broke up with ex-GF of 5 years. Best friend was here for me and emotionally supported me, I'm a mess and am falling for my best friend.

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My (29M) mom (53F) feels disrespected now that I'm spending less attention on her

I need some guidance in regards of how to navigate the relationship with my mum.

She raised me as a single mum, worked hard, basically put her dreams and wishes and health into me. Now I moved abroad, which she took very hard but finally accepted. I used to visit her all the time when I was back in my home country and I'm visiting her and flying back as much as I can now.

A few months ago I started a relationship with a girl, we spend quite sometime together and we're happy. As a result, maybe my daily phone calls with my mum was not as frequent or long. But that's where my mum started to get weird.

She started saying often that I'm just forgetting her in a favor of some random chick. When I announced our first holiday together in an exotic country - my mum called my girlfriend an insane bimbo and it's her fault we're going there because I would never come up with this and if something bad happens - God help my girlfriend, because it's not safe.

I'm supposed to be flying back home for a week next week, but she's super unhappy because I used to stay longer when I was single (I would stay 2 or 3 weeks in her house, which is way too long, personally). She again blames my girlfriend for this, that I'm forgetting my mum for some one random chick out of dozens to come. When I finally snapped and I said that I cannot be holding onto my mother and I need to cultivate my personal relationships with other people (my tone maybe was not the best), she snapped, dropped the phone call and announced that I'm way out of line recently and I'm not even noticing that. I do get sassy when annoyed and maybe I said some hurtful things but it's just the whole dynamic of our relationship that really puts me on edge and makes me invalidated

I don't even wanna go home at this point. It's just so much recently. But if I wouldn't go, she would see it basically as a declaration of cutting ties. I'm at a loss, what do I do?

TL;DR My mum feels abandoned and disrespected now that I have a girlfriend. I'm supposed to go visit her next week but it's clearly going to be negative as hell, lost at what to do with our relationship.

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Need an outside perspective on my (26f) relationship with my Mother (54 f)

English is not my first language and I'm in a bad place mentally so please excuse any spelling/grammatical errors.

My parents keep asking me to intervene in their fights. We live in a conservative society and they cannot separate without jeopardising my marriage prospects. They're fighting now because my dad sold our house years ago and still hasn't invested any of the money. My mom is desperate to invest at least in a house so that they're not left with nothing when the money runs out. My dad wants to invest the money but he's very anxious about spending and it prevents him from doing anything. He also won't agree to anything my mother finds for him. My father is also very stubborn and won't accept anyone's ideas/opinions. He's also emotionally/financially abusive to her.

I lost my job after COVID and am now home studying for a licensing exam to further my career. I have already failed this exam once, leading me to feel like a disappointment. I have tried applying for jobs but I'm either over or under qualified for most of these jobs. The exam is in November and no one wants to take me on at this stage. I also have OCD and have lost access to therapy/medications as we live in a remote area, and I would feel guilty about asking my parents for therapy money. I also have no friends I can move in with and my relatives live far away.

My mother is making staying at home difficult for me because she's getting increasingly frustrated with my father. Every time they fight, she comes to me and asks me to intervene/confront him. This never goes well, as my father then gets incredibly defensive and angry. He'll threaten to off himself, ignore my calls or stop taking his medication, which'll send me into a day long panic attack. I agree that the way he treats her is wrong but I don't know how to tell her that Im not in a place (mentally, financially) to call him out on it. I also don't want my relationship with him to worsen as he's already disappointed with me about the whole joblessness thing.

My mother is relentless in asking me to intervene, she brings it up in every conversation. Every other conversation is about how much my father ruined their life, or how Im bad at things. She's not a bad mom and has been very supporting in the past. Even now if she's not fighting with dad, or worried about the future of our family, she'll be sweet to me.

This is making my anxiety much worse and sometimes I think I should just suck it up and start the conflict with my father, so that she would be satisfied, even if it means my peace is gone. I already feel like a disappointment because of failing this exam, so I feel if I can help her in this way it would be worthwhile?

I'm also worried that my dad might kick me out if I challenge him. I guess I'm just looking for guidance and some perspective out of this hole.

TL:DR: Should I, as a mentally ill jobless freeloader, at least contribute to my household by standing up for my mom?

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This guy(m20) said he’s going to pursue my(m20) girlfriend(f19)

I’ve been with my girlfriend since September, we met at our college. My girlfriend is a very pretty girl and just amazing over all. She has lots of friends and lots of people want to be her friend bc she’s just cool and real and fun. This includes guys. She had a very small fling with this guy Carson last year. I didn’t go to this school last year so I don’t really know the details and seriousness to it, but according to her friends there were no feelings involved. At parties they would say hi, maybe catch up, they have lots of mutual friends, but have never hung out. In the beginning of us dating she was seeing other guys and I think Carson may have been one of them. A few weeks ago I said some stupid shit at a party and me and my gf got in a fight and she took off. Guess who was there to save the day and drive her home, Carson.

I live on campus, my girlfriend has an apartment with her friends. I see Carson at the dining hall a lot and last week he followed me outside to talk. He then said that he’s very interested in my girlfriend and thinks he has a fair shot with her. Then said some dumb shit that he had her first and can get her again, and he will. This made me super angry but I tried to keep my composure the best I could. I immediately drove to my girl’s place and she wasn’t home but her friends were so I told them about what Carson said. They told me that I have nothing to worry about and that there’s no way he could even come close to ruining our relationship. They told me not to mention it to my gf because she’s been super stressed out lately and not doing good and it would just make her more stressed.

We went to a club the other night and Carson and his boys were there of course. Every chance he got to be near my gf or talk to her, he took. He kept flashing me some dumbass smirks. I’ve had to work nights this week and my girlfriend and her friends went to two parties. At both parties her friend texted me saying Carson was there and he was trying to make moves. I’m not worried that she would cheat on me, but she does drink excessively. She drinks like a linebacker and almost always blacks out and can’t understand anything. Me and Carson look kind of similar, the only major difference is I’m taller than him. He seems like the type of guy who would try to sleep with her when she’s that fucked up and can’t even see straight. He’s also staying here this summer and she’s staying for the first half while I’m going back to my home state 2,000 miles away. I don’t know what to do. He clearly isn’t gonna stop trying to get with her and of course he’s going the “nice guy/friend/savior” route. I guess I should just tell her what’s going on but even with her knowing I can’t trust that he’s not gonna try and take advantage of her. This guy is a serious dick and he knows he’s pissing me off and he’s not gonna stop. I seriously need advice. I love my girlfriend and I seriously see a future with us. I don’t want her to think I’m being jealous or paranoid and then it cause a rift and he’s her shoulder to cry on.

TLDR: my girlfriends old fwb is trying to break up our relationship and get with my gf

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Now I'm Single, I Only Date Men In Open Relationships - Refinery29

Now I'm Single, I Only Date Men In Open Relationships  Refinery29

* This article was originally published here

FB relationship status after divorce…

I’m dating someone new for only two months now. (43/m and 40/f) He said he was divorced nearly 3 years ago and moved out of his marital home into a new one. They have joint custody of 2 teen boys and says they have a great co-parenting relationship.

Out of curiosity one day I looked at the “ex-wife’s” FB b/c they are still friends…her status still says “married since 2010”, she’s been recently active and all the wedding pics are still up. I mentioned that I thought the status was odd 2 weeks ago and if they were only separated. He said it was finalized, and today the status remains unchanged.

Is this a red flag?

TL/DR: New boyfriends ex wife still has her FB status set to married. Should I just ignore?

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Fleets target new suppliers as manufacturer relationships hit new low - Autocar

Fleets target new suppliers as manufacturer relationships hit new low  Autocar

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I (24F) made a friend (19M) online, who wants to talk everyday and all day long but I can’t offer them that constant level of communication.

We have been in constant communication for about 3 and a half months now and I find that our friendship is overall wholesome and supportive and we share a lot in common. These are traits that I am not able to fully find in my other friendships.

There are however limitations to our friendship which are that, we have never met, we live in different parts of the world and we are likely never going to meet each other. I have also never seen what he looks like and nor heard what he sounds like.

While I appreciate the friendship and the emotional support it offers, I am in general not comfortable spending my whole day talking to someone. At the beginning, I did allowed myself to indulge in lengthy conversations throughout the day but it was messing up my daily routine and sleep schedule. So, over the past couple of weeks, I have reeling this back to focus on myself.

Yesterday was a Saturday and I carved out an 1 hour in the morning to talk to him while I was in a coffee shop. When I was done at the coffee shop I let him know I was heading home and he told me to text him when I got home and I did exactly that, I texted him and let him know that I was going to charge my phone. Later in the evening he texted me something along line of “have you gone MIA again?” And that kinda pissed me off because it made me feel like he expects constant communication and if I am free I should be texting him. Which is annoying because sometimes I just wanna chill on my own.

I am looking for a second opinion on this.Am I being a shitty friend in this situation? How do kindly let him know that I don’t wanna talk everyday and all day, without sounding like a b*tch?

Tl;dr: my friend wants to talk everyday and all day but I can’t offer him that. He is starting to get annoying about it.

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I (21f) think my bf (27m) lied to me

When I first met my bf, I mentioned wanting to draw him. He said, "I tried to draw myself once! Wanna see?" And showed me a painting of himself.

Several months later, when he was moving stuff around, I found that painting face down. On the back, it had a note from his ex, saying she loved him, that the painting was for him. But I couldn't remember if he had said "this is a painting of me" or "I did this painting."

Well, I just now got the answer. I was going through our old texts because I miss him, and I found him saying "I did this painting".

I'm pretty upset at the idea that he would lie to me. I understand that maybe, if your ex is still a person you care about, you'd keep a really nice present they gave you. But why would he lie and say he painted it? It gives me a bad taste in my mouth.

Tldr: bf said he painted something but I figured out it was from his ex

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My(24M) GF’s (22F) younger brother calls her a Wh*re in front of her family.

So I have been with this really nice girl for about 7 months now. Let’s call her Blue.

Now Blue lives with her family. She has two brothers and parents. Her older brother(in his late 20’s) moved out very long ago. He’s married too. Let’s call him X. Her younger brother(16) lives with the family too. Let’s call him Y. Blue works in a cafe. The main reason that Blue still lives with her family is because Blue is not very financially independent. She’s doesn’t earns a lot and slightly depends on her family.

Now I knew about Blue’s family behaviour towards her. I knew they were really mean to her, they treat her so bad. And they really want her to move out of their house. Now I was in her place last week just went to pick her up and I ended up going to her house. Now Y just shouted at her for a small mistake she did and called her a dumb wh*re in front of her parents. Her mom just laughed and agreed with him.

This isn’t the only insult she gets. They call her really bad names and humiliate her so much. We talked about it earlier many times.

Now about me, I’m in my final year of college and I already got an internship at a very good tech company and the probability is very high that they would hire me permanently. So right now I’m getting paid well enough that I can get a place for us. It would be not that big but still she can move in with me.

I told her this news last week. She’s was really happy and excited about it. I mean she was literally jumping around. But idk what happened, just yesterday she called me and told that she can’t move in with me. Now I know how much she wants to move out from that house and suddenly out of nowhere she’s doesn’t want to.

I, of course asked her why but she is just ignoring my question. Now she’s a very nice and caring girl. She’s works very hard at her job and sacrifice many things for others. Now I’m thinking her parents must have said something to her about moving with me.

Now X is different than the family. He’s a nice guy and probably the only one in her family who actually cares about Blue. So I’m thinking of telling X what I just told you all and listen to him. I’m really positive he would be on my side. And if he agrees than it would be easy to convince Blue.

Now I don’t know how to feel about it. For some reason, I’m feeling a lot of guilt. I mean all she wanted earlier was to live together with me and now she don’t. About our relationship, it’s going very fine. I met her at the same cafe where she’s works. So I don’t think, she’s not moving with me because of our relationship.

(Apologies if there’s any mistake in my English. Not my first language)

TL;DR : My GF’s younger brother called her a wh*re infront of her parents and her mom just laugh about it. They call her many names and humiliate her. They want her to move out of their house. My GF is not financially independent, so she can’t move out. I got a good job offer coming who pays me well enough to buy us a place. She was excited at first but she declined later. I’m thinking it’s because of her family. What to do now?

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My (23F) boyfriend (23M) is putting his friends before me?

My (23F) boyfriend (23M) is putting his friends before me? Now, this might just be me exaggerating or something, but here’s the story, apologies for the bad formatting as this is being typed on my phone.

Today, my boyfriend tells me he has plans to go out with his friends on the weekend and that it’s for a friends birthday, he lets me know he will be drinking. This would be okay, if not for the other day him telling me he was not feeling well, as in coughing, nauseous, fatigued, not eating. He said he was feeling worse today, so I was a little suspicious as to why he wouldn’t stay in and rest?

Here’s why I was really ticked off: We don’t live very far, about a 2 hour drive as he is living near his college right now. The problem is he hasn’t been coming around, and I don’t mean as often, I mean at all. He doesn’t even call with me on the phone anymore, at all. We used to do this daily, however he blames this inconvenience on not wanting to “bother me if I’m busy”. I’ve told him nothing has changed and my schedule is still the same as it has always been, and this has been going on for about a month and a half.

Anyway, so on top of him already not feeling well, he hasn’t made time to even hear each others voices, but he’s willing to go out with his very, very, POS friends. Now we did have a conversation about this, or tried to but he kind of just kept missing the point, so I suggested we come back to it a little later, which I still plan to, I’m just not sure what I should say or if I should say anything at all.

tl;dr my boyfriend stopping calling or coming over, claiming it to be because we were so busy, even though his final exams are over and my schedule is the same as ever. He then tell me he’s so sick he can barely move, but he’s planning to go out and drink with his friends on the weekend. Now I’m not sure if he’s putting his friends above simply giving me a call every once in a while, or even staying in to get rest because he claims he is not feeling well, or if I am just being dramatic.

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I (24M, gay) am a little confused and scared by how I feel about my best friend (23M, gay)

Known each other for 3 years, when we first met I thought I liked him romantically but I think that boiled down to general loneliness I had around that time.

Since then, we’ve grown to be best friends. We tell each other we’re each other’s best friends, we say I love you, we talk almost all the time.

But lately small things have been confusing and scaring me. He went on a couple of dates with someone and when he told me they slept together, that made me so nauseous and feeling like I’d throw up.

I’ve been noticing his features more, his green eyes, the little lines around his mouth when he’s smiling, the color of his lips. When we watch a movie I wish he’d get closer to me. Every time we’re out drinking I’m hoping he’d kiss me.

We spend a lot of time together (2 days a week maybe, texting for hours a day other days), and on the days one of us is busy I find myself just waiting for being able to talk to him again. Every day I’m just waiting for the next time I see him, waiting to tell him about my day and hear about his.

Physically, he’s not really my type, and I’m not his. But still, I can picture myself being physical with him. We aren’t really physical as friends, don’t hug often, but I’ve been having an urge to grab and hold his hand for months now.

It’s all confusing. Are these not normal feelings to have for a friend? Maybe I’m just a little possessive of him? I haven’t dated anyone in years, maybe it’s just missing those feelings?

If they’re not platonic, I’m confident he wouldn’t feel the same way about me, and it would then destroy both of us if I speak up about them, the friendship is really important to us. But even though I know he loves me as a friend and we’re closer to each other than anyone else, I can’t help but feel the dissatisfied, hoping for more.

---

TL;DR; : Afraid I'd be in love with best friend. He wouldn't feel the same and I'm dissatisfied.

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Here's why you struggle with relationships after being single - Cosmopolitan UK

Here's why you struggle with relationships after being single  Cosmopolitan UK

* This article was originally published here

I (21F) am planning to move out with my bf (22M) but I am concerned with my parents’ reaction

I am graduating this year. I have found an okay paying job and am very excited. My bf and I have been dating for about one and half year now and for the past six months, I’m almost exclusively staying at his place since my flatmate and I don’t get along too well and his place is at a nicer part of the city. My parents are literally paying rent for no reason but they don’t know since I know they might be uncomfortable with my arrangement since we don’t have an official label like engagement in our relationship.

My parents funded all my education and costs and are very loving, very reasonable folks. They live in my country of origin while I live abroad since I started uni. However, I think due to her experience with my father, my mum is very skeptical about my bf and how our relationship dynamics are. She repeated, multiple times, that I am not allowed to move out with my boyfriend because it will allow him to start treating me badly because there would be commitment that binds me. When I said my salary wouldn’t be enough to live comfortably if I rent a studio myself and she offered to give me 6k grant a year to support me in that case.

However, I know that if we have separate houses I’d still stay at my bf’s place next year since he is making more and can afford a better place. It’s going to be a problem, though, because my office is a bit far from the city centre and if we don’t have a reasonable location together, I’ll have a longer commute.

My bf agreed to cover 70% of all expenses of the new place if we move in together (proportionate to how much I will make and his current salary). I am obviously nervous for a case where we might break up and this setup will collapse. However, I am more nervous of my mum’s reaction to this decision. I will have my own money and they cannot deprive me of anything if I do something they don’t like. However I am scared of upsetting her and being on bad terms. She might decide not to assist me financially if I move in with my bf but I will be better of financially if I move in with my bf and will be able to save money too, which is very important to me. However, I don’t want to cut my parents off because they are very important to me and honestly, I want to have multiple support systems in my life.

I know she would be more comfy if we were engaged or something because to her, being bf gf means nothing in terms of commitments. However I think it’s too early for a such thing, so does my boyfriend.

I read that couples who move in together for mainly economic concerns regret it nowadays but I also don’t want to be away from my partner.

My question is, should I try moving in with my bf despite my parents’ reaction? Is it too early for a such commitment? How I should approach to this?

Tl;dr: I want to move in with my bf but my mother opposes it. What I should do?

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Birth control pill ruined our relationships

We [I am M25, F22] had very nice and good relationships with my girlfriend (5 months). She started using birth control pills a month ago and her mood, libido and mental health got really bad.

Let me give you a brief description.

She always wanted sex (she has very high libido as well as me) and we were extremely satisfied with our sex life, we've been romantic (both, but she is more than me), everything was really unexpectedly good. Travelled to 3 new countries together. She has a full-time job + uni + other things, so she is busy most of the time as well as me. But it was kind a big plus and it was a good aspect for both. We spent a lot of time together and were ALWAYS saying if something is wrong and that is why we never ever had any conflict. Talks were more about feelings and that we are so happy and about how it is kind of strange that everything goes so good. Another thing to know, she is quite emotional and can start crying if the art she sees in gallery is sad. But it never was a problem for us. More like a plus again. She was not angry on me (al least seriously).

​

Birth control pills. Here it starts.

​

She started using it a month ago and her mood started to be extremely unstable (laughing, 5 min, crying, for no reason, first week of using BC). I started feeling like something was wrong with her. She became very silent. She was saying that she has a lot of depressed thoughts. But like I will manage myself, no need to help with. After our last trip, she asked me not to communicate with her for 5 days, she wanted to get in a normal state and decide what she wants to do, to give her space etc. She was really very strange in behaviour. And I started feeling like i am loosing her but she was saying "we will not break up". She convinced me that we would be together for sure and it is only her mental problems. It was only about her problems. At the end of our "silent", we agreed to talk about everything and met yesterday. We broke up yesterday. She said that she still loves me, but she does not feel romantic feelings from herself, she is unable to give them to me. She has low libido. That I did not support her enough recently (but she was saying that everything is ok, like no problem..). Like we are too different people. That I need more simple and stable gf. Moreover, she feels that the status of having relationships depresses her. She stated that maaay be she will have willing to get back together, but as she said: I want to break up with an open data, like no predefined day to try to get back together. She is not cheating on me. We still chat a little bit. She will switch birth control pills or quit it at all.

What can i do? How to deal with it? How to get her back? It all started right after the first signs of using BC pills.

I have a strange feeling of chatting with her. Forcing myself not to pressure her and behave like a friend but I feel like she is my ex, or gf, or whatever, like... It is weird. Send memes? Not to chat is worse idea to my opinion, but... How to do it properly?

​

TL;DR: right after she started using BC pills, she became emotionally unstable, then very silent, lost her high libido (this is first month of using pills). During last talk she said she is unable to give me romantic feelings from herself, she just doesn't have romantic feelings. She stated I need more simple and stable gf. She broke up with me but before convinced that it won't happen because of her mental health. Says that status of relationship depresses her now. Help.

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I've been in an open relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years - Insider

I've been in an open relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years  Insider

* This article was originally published here

Just a vent about jealousy

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I recently started playing a game with his friend and his girlfriend and it feels like my boyfriend is prioritizing her fun over mine.

Hi all, this post is mostly just me venting into the void that is reddit. I know that the feelings I’m having are irrational and I don’t have anyone to talk them over with. I don’t feel it’d be appropriate to talk them over with my boyfriend because in reality, he didn’t do anything wrong. No one did. My brain is just screaming at me to over analyze and to be angry.

For context my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and we’ve been living together for about a year, about to move into another apartment together. I’ve always had jealousy issues, it’s something I’m deeply ashamed of but that I cannot seem to get rid of. I will just ruminate and ruminate until I blow up over something incredibly minor. And I know, that is in no way healthy for either of us.

My boyfriend ( George ) and I recently started playing a game together with my boyfriend’s friend ( Sage ) and his girlfriend ( Lola ). My boyfriend and I have been playing this game for a while before Sage and Lola joined our group, we’re honestly kind of both sweats when playing but we made it into a routine where we’d both play together every night and it’s been a lot of fun.

Just a few days ago Sage asked to join our team and Lola tagged along. Of course we said yes because we’ve been wanting to have a four man team for a while and it’d be lots of fun. Well since they started playing with us, I honestly haven’t had any fun. This is because my boyfriend has been fixating on making sure Lola is having fun. We’ve played close to 20 games together and I survived maybe 2 of them. I was constantly dying at the beginning of the game, and it became pretty clear that it was due to Lola’s mistakes.

For more context, the game is called Dead by Daylight and consists of 4 survivors having to escape a killer. Lola was constantly alerting the killer to her location when I was near, saying that she was in chase with the killer when I was, and bringing the killer to me when I was hidden. But while I’m dead or dying on the hook, my boyfriends constantly telling Lola where the killer is so she isn’t found, healing her immediately, taking hits and chases over for her and just overall making sure that Lola always survived. Overall he was choosing to help Lola, even in situations when she didn’t need any help, over me.

This combined with the fact that he wasn’t talking to me and when I would talk, he wasn’t listening. Like straight up, was not listening to anything I said. I know he wasn’t because I called out multiple things I noticed about a particular killer ( perks, add-ons ) and then when we got to the end game chat ( where it shows you all of the killers perks and add-ons ) he started listing them and started talking about how he didn’t know he had any of those perks or add-ons and how it would have been useful to know.

She also was dying laughing at everything my boyfriend would say. I swear to god my boyfriend said “Beep beep boop” and this girl was lmaoing in real life. It got to the point where Sage even made a joke that my boyfriend was trying to steal his girl. And my boyfriend didn’t deny it, he just said something along the lines of “you should try to be funnier sometime.”

So something that used to be my bonding time with my boyfriend is now something I barley get to enjoy. Aside from the jealousy, it’s not fun to play a game where I’m always dead at the start. Anyways, I know none of this really matters but I just needed to talk it out. If you read all of this thank you, it means a lot just to be listened to for a minute.

Names have been changed to protect privacy.

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* This article was originally published here

My(20M) parents make me feel so useless, branding me as "lazy" and "never helping without being asked", they threaten to kick me out if I don't put in the same work as them, I feel so angry and lost.

​

I 18 (M) have been living at home as of October 2022 and was expecting to attend uni at the start of march of 2023, up until that point my parents were cordial with me, but do to my residency status causing me to halt my attendance, at the same time I attended a 2 week to attain a security license, but since march I have not been able to land a job since, I believe it was around the time where I finished my security license is when their snide comments and nagging began.

idk how to get it through to them that these comments are incredibly damaging to me, its like for 18 years I did not even know these people, for example when I say that I still have ADHD they just say "oh you've gotten over that", like they were not there when my behavioral specialist did not tell them that I my focus and attention will not be the same as if i had Adderall, which I had to give due to financial reasons. following this they say that i always say that i say I'm tired as an excuse to dodge work.

but i don't think I'm lazy like they say, ever since immigrating i had to do my own immigration paper work at the age 15 (bcs she said that i can read and write so i should be able to do it) and worked in their corner shop/bodega ever since the age of 8 (I was that stereotypical Asian kid studying in the corner) where at that point we've just been in the country for 2 years and she did not speak a lick of English , and my father was working from 2 am to 4pm, and for what time he was there mom did not trust him with the til as he would charge 50 cent for a something that costed 50 dollars, as he would be more involved with conversing with the customer then making the sale, this made me the sole cashier, order taker for when catering order came in and the milk boy, having to wake up at 6:30am to balance 5 2L milk bottle on a razor scooter as i barreled down a hill and made my way back up. during this time my only free time was school from 9am to 3pm. after 4 years of this my mother said that the work was too tiring at the time i stupidly begged her for us to stay because i began to actually make close friends by grade 10 which up until that point i didn't have a life where most of the kids in my school knew me as the corner shop kid, but she would put me down saying that i never helped her enough.

the boiling point which drove me to make this post began last Friday (6 days prior to this post) where we began work on our backyard work the house which includes shoveling hardened clay from a prior dig site that they buried asbestos panels under and wheel barrowing that to pack the retainer wall with the wheel barrow being about 200L , as they didn't want to spend money to buy dirt, i did not mind this work for first 6 days, and did my work diligently from 8.30am to 4pm(this would later be a point of contention), when i was working they did not say much to me but would always make comments to "pick up the pace" when i was eating or having a break. come today i was going to start work earlier at 10am she agreed for me to start then i missed this time and start at 11 and began digging at which point i sat down and stopped as i was light headed and could not continue so i head inside, and an say to her that ill dig for her tomorrow at which point she blew up at me saying that "if i don't work nothing gets done" and "you're always tired", where in a mix of lightheadedness and built up resentment i blew up at her initiating a 2hr screaming match between me and her where i told her i did nothing over the long weekend and that i have not been lazy and have been forgoing party with friends, to which she responds (idk how to translate this ) "are you daring me? if you go , go for a month", "if you are not sick then you can work", "im a woman and your 18 Man you should be able to do 3x my work" and "if you don't work tomorrow, don't eat", idk what her problem are i think she have bi-polar disorder but she refuse therapy for it as she site it costing too much and and mental illness not being real.

idk what to do i really have no option to move out, plus when i get back to school my degree will take 3 years and i might have to repeat a year if i fail the medical test, idk what she is doing but she said she wont pay the mortgage anymore in 5 years and give 50% of the asset to me (the other half belonging to my step-father) as well as the debt in a trust, but i don't trust (sorry for the pun) her word, as this has not been spoken to my stepfather yet. and he does not have a trustworthy record with money as he withdrew around 100k from his 401k/ superannuation and a personal loan at the same time which he claimed to gambled away but i believe that he actually gave it to his 3 kids from his past marriage, at the end of the financial year that year he was taxed and asked to return the principal which amounted to 180k making us sell our apartment in my home country.

sorry if this had been posted before but i need a place to vent, some opinions from the internet would be greatly appreciated

tl;dr parents expectation of being not lazy is matching their work hour for hour, i want to move out but rent, school and work do not align.

submitted by /u/thelast_jigsaw_piece
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* This article was originally published here

i (25f) need advice on how to make up for missing my boyfriend's (28m) birthday trip due to COVID last moment?

My bf (28m) and I (25f) have been planning a trip for his birthday this weekend for a while. We've invited all his close friends along and they're flying in today so all of us could travel together from here tomorrow.

Unfortunately, I was feeling sick and feverish for the past 2 days and got a COVID test, and received my positive results today. I feel crushed, because i wouldn't be able to join in on the trip now. My boyfriend is really sad and says the trip doesn't make any sense without me, but I'm still encouraging him to go because all the bookings have been made and all his friends will be here soon. If he stays back, i anyway would still be in isolation on the day of his birthday. I want him to enjoy himself, but he keeps saying it won't be fun, but i know he'll end up going as right now there's not really any alternative.

I want to make it up to him by giving him a nice surprise. I most probably would recover by the time he's back from the trip, so i could meet him at the station when he comes back, or surprise him in a different way. I really need suggestions for what i could do so that he feels special.

For background information, we've been dating for just over a year. I'll be leaving for my Master's abroad in a few months, so this was supposed to be a special trip. I feel really upset and i would love to make him feel better in some way. Any suggestions are welcome

Tl;dr - have to cancel bf's bday trip due to COVID, want advice on how to do something special for him to make up for it.

submitted by /u/lemonmint_cocktail
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* This article was originally published here

7 types of affairs you are having outside your relationship that are harmful - Pulse Ghana

7 types of affairs you are having outside your relationship that are harmful  Pulse Ghana

* This article was originally published here

Why Would A Woman (18F) Be Shy Around Me (19M) and Me Specifically?

I (M19) have been friends with this one girl (F18) for since we were young kids and I think I'd be interested in pursuing something romantic with her. Problem is, she's become much more shy and reserved around me. This wasn't really a sudden thing, it's been the case for the last few years. I'm not a particularly big or intimidating man, and it's not like we've had any kind of falling out or negative interactions. And Ive been very close with her family for practically as long as Ive known her. And she's still bubbly and talkative around her girl friends and even her other male friends. Should I be concerned about this?

TLDR: A girl I'd like to pursue something with is shy around me even though we've been friends for a long time. Should I be concerned?

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* This article was originally published here

I 24(M) am falling in love with 34(F) who is unattainable, help

TLDR; we met through my work which strictly does not permit friendships nor anything more with clients. Also we have 10 year age gap. We’ve already broken the rules by spending lots of time together outside work. The feelings seem mostly reciprocated but then she seems to feel bad about the nature of it all and I do too. I need help :(

I (24M) am personality wise much closer to someone 30+ and get along better with this age group than my own. This person (34F) I met through work which strictly forbids any relationship outside work so I’ve already fucked up because we’ve already gone to dinner a ton, been clubbing, etc. together and every second I spend with her further grows my attraction. It’s not even sexual attraction (yet) I am just in love with her personality and her beautiful smile and everything about her as a person. I can tell she likes me to a good degree but she gets messed up when she thinks about our age gap because she flirts with me and then brings up the age gap verbally and it’s obvious. I want to tell her it means nothing to me. But it does because she wants kids and l’ve barely thought about that. Also the premise of how we met is an issue. We both have similar trauma in our pasts which furthers the emotional connection. She stopped altogether bringing her on/off bf up and I’m too afraid to ask about him, she seems to be inviting me to things instead. Everytime together (nothing inappropriate or sexual has happened) feels so right, more than with anyone else I’ve dated or even met. What tf do I do? I cannot get her out of my head. She’s beautiful. I don’t hunk of her sexually (yet) and I feel so awful but I cannot make progress dating others since my last relationship because they wrent her. I want her so badly. I just want to lay with her and be with her with our dogs. It’s not sexual. She’s my perfect life partner tbh. I’ve tried to get the crush gone but is not working. Any advice? Thanks

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* This article was originally published here

I (19M) am confused about "someone's" (19F) attitude towards me

Hello Reddit!

As the title says, there is someone who makes me confused and I've been wondering why is she treating the way she is now, what would i have done wrong?

So to start, i know this girl since 7th grade and we were very close friends. She would always laugh at my jokes, we would always laugh together. At the very beginning, i liked her a bit but I didn't tell her anything since I didn't think she saw me that way, then I decided to become friends, so we became friends. Fast forward to after graduating, we went to seperate highschools. She would always text me, would want to talk me, ask about how the things going etc. since we couldn't see each other irl. During summer vacations since 2017, she works at a bakery which is very close to my home. We would see each other there, talk occasionally.

During quarantine times she was working there since there was no school, and again we would see each other and talk.

Fast forward to 8-9 months before now; I started seeing her at that place since it was summer vacation again. But this time, something happened. I started to like her(That wasn't sudden that much actually since it is not my first time liking her, but summarizing it, it sounds like that) And for some reason, I thought maybe she liked me too. Like, think about it; she was the one who texted me first mostly, she would be very happy to see me, and she was into my interests back then middle school since she bought me a gift -a comic book- which almost none of my friends would know I liked comics. (that might sound funny but I swear who would know I liked comics, she must have researched about me, and she herself told something similar to that like ''I asked x about what would you like'' Like who's x, how would they know that?)

Girls would do all of these to their close friends too, right?. Or, they don't? That's where my confusion starts.

So since I was into her now, I kinda started to treat like it, but I was friendly, nothing like ''Hey let's go on a date.'' I tried to show a little interest, since I think it didn't go well with my last crush because I was too cold against her. To give some details, I asked her to go somewhere to chat(she said she can't because she is working and she's busy almost all the time) ,stopped by where she works for a few times while we would walk with my cousin(19M) at evenings, while he was at my home for a couple of weeks during vacation, and I texted her about her Instagram account which I could not find because it didn't exist then, and that's it.

I guess things started at this point: Last time I talked with her -more correctly, tried to talk, because I was going to my cousin's town with him for a while next morning- ,and that night I passed by to her workplace to see her one last time before going but she wasn't there and I texted her something like ''where are you, i passed by but couldn't see you'' .And for whatever reason that text hasn't been sent since then. (No she didn't block me, maybe she changed her number, i don't know really, and maybe you now think the reason why I couldn't find her on insta was because she blocked me there too, not that it didn't exist; but that is not the reason either, I will explain now.)

And the morning, I was on the roads with my cousin. I was at his town now after a couple of hours. After a few days -or weeks,I don't remember precisely- ,when I was on Instagram, I saw her account on my recommendations, saying ''new account''. Now that her account existed, I sent a request to her, nothing wrong with that, right?

But things didn't go like that.

After more or less TWO WEEKS after I sent that request, guess what happened- She blocked me. And I have done nothing about her ever since. Didn't call, didn't text, didn't ask anything about why did she do it. After 2-3 months, I was back home.

Fast forward to now -roundly 3-4 weeks before now- I saw her again. I hadn't seen her since that ''blocking'' happened -which is for months. I saw her because for some reason universities went to online for a short time in my country. Since there was no school, she had spare time and she visited where she was working during summers. I was there, to buy some breads as usual, and i saw her, as she saw me too. But she pretented to didn't see me. That was like that for a few times again, she didn't look at me, I didn't look at her. And I haven't seen her ever since schools re-opened.

Not forgot to mention, when she saw me first time after that long time not seeing, she unblocked me on Instagram, but did not send a request. Just unblock.

Now, all my confusions about everything that has happened: Why is she treating like that?

A million possibilities have crossed from my mind, but I don't seem to be sure of any. Does she want to talk to me, or doesn't she? Like why would it take two weeks to block me, or why would she unblock me right after seeing me? If you don't want to talk to someone, you just block them right at the moment, and never think about them again, right? This. This is all what makes it confusing. I am okay with her not talking to me, and I'm not insisting on anything. I just want to know why would the reason be. Since I could not ask her -to not pressurise it?- I thought maybe you could give me some light.

I hope I summarized it all well, and don't cause confusions.

See you, Reddit.

TL;DR: There is a girl who used to be interested in me and love me so much(im not certainly sure as a friend or she liked me once) ,but i showed her a little bit interest recently and she stopped talking to me and i want to know why, is it because she didn't want me as anyone aside her friend, or maybe i showed that interest too late etc. etc.

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* This article was originally published here

Dog best friends adorable video call goes viral: 'Long distance relationship' - New York Post

Dog best friends adorable video call goes viral: 'Long distance relationship'  New York Post

* This article was originally published here

Need urgent Advise (me M/20 she F/20)

Need urgent advice

I just saw a vdo of 13 reasons why which reminded me of my ex

She too was a depressed person with no frnds and dealing with chronic anxiety issues

We had an extremely traumatic breakup 6 months ago (last year sept)

I do not miss her nor do I want her back I am over her but I still struggle with post breakup stress.

But the vdo has made me extremely restless and I have this very powerful urge to just check if she is fine

though a part of me is afraid that it would ruin all my healing I have done over the period of last 3 months and bring back the trauma

Please advise me should I check if she is fine? All I'm gonna do is just check her social and see is there is any activity which would be enough to know she is fine and living her life.

Tldr

Is it worth contacting ex after 6 months post bu

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I think my dad is letting his boyfriend impersonate him via texts to me

Either that or my dad's behavior is strange and confusing enough to warrant concern that he may be on drugs or going through some kind of mental break.

I'm F(30), my dad is M(55) and boyfriend is M(43)

Some background info, my parents got divorced about 5 years ago after being married and mostly very religious for about 28 years. 3 years or so ago my dad started seeing a man he met on a dating app. They are still together.

Yesterday I got some texts from my dad that were very unlike him. Not only the use of text talk abbreviations like '2' for 'to', but also the things he said and typos left in the messages made me think it was the boyfriend. They mentioned that boyfriend had a root canal procedure happening the next day, which is why I don't think it is some random third party spoofer/scammer. I asked if it was the boyfriend and he replied, no im just being silly, and started typing out more words completely like my dad does. He says, ask me something only i would know. Which is so weird, and not something my dad would ever say. I tried calling, feeling extreme ick and privacy invasion, and got the answering machine after 3 rings. I presume boyfriend cancelled the call. Half an hour or so later my dad called and left a message on my phone saying he got my call. I thought I would try calling him at work the next day so I messaged to tell him we could talk tomorrow and he said it sounded good.

So today I message again, asking if it was my dad messaging me. Again the reply is that it was. Again, the use of lol makes me think it is not my father on the other end. I tell him he's making me uncomfortable and he says, sorry hun. My dad, never. Has called me hun. He uses other terms of endearment regularly, but not that one. So I call the office number and it sounds like my dad on the line. I'm trembling at this point, I again ask my dad if it's him I'm messaging with. He says yes, and laughs awkwardly. He doesn't ask why. I pause and slowly ask him if he's lying. He laughs all awkwardly and forced and says no, it was always me. I tell him ok, fully not believing him, and that I would talk to him later.

I have been texting my sister throughout this ordeal and she has agreed that the texts are strange and this could be something the boyfriend might do as he 'has no chill or boundaries.' I live across the country from him right now or else I would go over to check on him, I'm so concerned and confused and worried. My dad has never lied to me before, at least not so obviously.

Does it seem like I'm overreacting?

Tldr; my dad is in his first queer relationship and I've been receiving concerning texts from him

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* This article was originally published here

Separated from my now ex wife yesterday after nearly 10 years

I separated from my wife after 10 years together and I have no one now

I (M27) have separated from my wife (F26) just yesterday. It’s still a fresh wound and all I can do right now is ugly cry.

We were together just under 10 years and married for nearly 4. It wasn’t easy. When we first got married, my cousin fell ill and was in the hospital for just over 3 months. I was there nearly everyday and he eventually passed away due to the doctors negligence. 2 days after the funeral, the Covid lockdown got announced (UK). This put a significant strain on our relationship at the very start. We had never lived together before and only moved in together when we got married due to cultural reasons. We barely got a chance to really get to know each other at the start because of my cousin and then Covid.

We’ve had good times, we’ve had bad times. Just like every couple. The more I look back on it, it was mostly bad. We’d constantly argue. We’d always disagree on things. We were completely different people and should never have married in the first place.

It just got worse and worse and we got more toxic with each other. Neither of us ever cheated but we’d be vile with our words. We once took a 1 month break where she went back to live with her parents. 2 days in, her dad kicked her and her mum out and they had no choice but to move back in with me. I think that was the beginning of the end. Since that point it was always 1 step forward and 2 back.

I never got on with her mum. Even before marriage, she was controlling. During the wedding time she imposed herself so much, I ended up calling it off 2 weeks before because I couldn’t take the stress from her anymore. I ended up losing my hair with all the stress.

At the end of the day, my ex wife isn’t a horrible person. Neither am I. We’re just not compatible.

I have no friends to talk to. My family is very distant with me too since marrying. I have no one there for me. All I’ve done since yesterday is just cry and cry. My eyes are burning from it and even now typing this, I’m crying.

We have no choice but to continue living with each other. The housing market is a joke and we can’t afford to move out and start again. I’ve moved into the spare room for the time being.

I guess I just needed to vent a little. I’m fine with people not noticing this post but I just need someone to tell me it will all be okay.

Tl;dr separated from my wife after 10 years together and don’t know what to do with myself

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* This article was originally published here

boyfriend(19M) wants me (18F) to be more “freaky”. i’m too shy to ask him what does he mean by that so maybe i can get an idea from people online.

hey guys, it’s pretty clear for title, my bf wants me to be more freaky. i struggle to tell him what i like and don’t like cause i get veryyyy shy for some reason but i do eventually vocal it out.

but yesterday he requested me to be more freaky online, like texting and stuff. i don’t know how to do that and i don’t want to ask him because i’m so shy and he’s my first relationship. does an example of freaky mean calling him things he likes such as “daddy” and tell him what i want him to do to me? and can you be freaky without having sex?

he knows i don’t want to lose my virginity until marriage but i’m down for everything else but i don’t know anything else 😭😭. any one has been in my situation? or has advice on what to do or say? maybe suggest an easier way to communicate it with him without being all shy? i’m assuming he doesn’t have a problem with me being freaky irl because i have already told him what i like but after weeks of being very shy about it. i HATE being shy when it comes to this department

TLDR- boyfriend requested to be more freaky on text and i’m shy to ask what he likes. advice on how to bring it up without being shy? and how to get over my shyness and stuff that men generally consider freaky that i can try with him.

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* This article was originally published here

Communication advice

People on Reddit. I need your advice.

So I'm a guy M31, who's usually outspoken. I communicate well. I learned to share my feelings, thoughts, concerns, to my previous partners. I do believe in the power of communication. And that if we communicate well about what's bothering us, we might actually find a solution together.

BUT, in my recent relationship. My bf M26 is the total opposite of that. It's hard for him to communicate. Briefly, he was raised in a family that did not listen to him or care about his opinion. That led him to handle his emotions by himself. We've known each other for almost a year and a half. And we've been together as a couple for 6 months now.

When he first told me that he has trouble communicating, I didn't really think it was gonna be that big of a deal. I thought that it's just gonna take him more time to talk and that I can eventually get him to share. But it turns out that it's way harder than I thought it would be. I've tried comforting him. Constantly telling him that I'm always by his side, that he can trust me and share anything with me without feeling judged. I'm not here to judge him. I love him so much but at this point I don't know what else I need to do to get him to open up. Sometimes I feel like I just wanna give up and tell him that I cannot keep up with this pace anymore. But that's not what I want.

we NEED to talk about stuff that are crucial to our relationship (fears, past relationships, sexual desires, kinks, etc). And that is reflecting negatively on the relationship. The last time I tried to push him to talk, he felt pressured and threatened. I tried to convince him that this was not my intention.

All I want, is for us to be able to communicate so we can make all the topics listed before clearer on both ends. He said he needed time. To open up, to trust me enough and not feel judged. But the more I wait, the more i am obsessed by the thought that I cannot keep up with this much longer. I need to see some progress. Cuz I feel like my hands are tied, and I don't know what else I should do to make him comfortable. Any advice?

Tl;dr: Bf finds it hard to communicate. I need advice on how to get to him without making him feel pressured.

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* This article was originally published here

(25f)(27m) I argued with my boyfriend about my ability for satisfying him. I feel like he's treating me like I was stupid

Long story short, he (27m) is my first boyfriend and until I met him when I was 24 I had received zero male attention.

We are very happy together and in spite of being very busy and often in different towns our intimate moments are very good and fun. I had made my research so I can be a better lover for him, but I still feel I'm fairly unexperienced since I had never been with someone before him.

The other day we were in bed and I apologized to him because I felt literally any other girl could satisfy in bed better than me. He got upset and disagreed with me. I felt like he was insulting my inteligence, I mean the vast majority of women are more experienced than me, and thus better lovers. We ended up having and argument and slept all night without touching each other, which felt so wrong.

TLDR: I am unexperienced when coming to sex and my boyfriend doesn't admit that it makes me a worse lover

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* This article was originally published here