I (26M) am being emotionally blackmailed and threatened by a girl (29F) I started talking to

Started texting with a girl a little less than a month ago and we were hitting it off well but she wanted things to go way too quickly basically telling me how she loves me and cant live without me after not even a month (we have not even had a proper voice chat or seen eye to eye at this point). When I eventually tell her I cant do it because its getting too intense too quickly and I apologize for giving her the wrong expectations she essentially spends a full day threatening to kill herself because I cant return her feelings. This morning I recieved a similar goodbye message telling me I am the reason they will be gone soon before they blocked me.

Obviously it not someone I have known for super long but the whole experience has still been extremely off-putting and distressing especially for someone who struggles with social connections in general and will probably make me not try to form a relationship in the future.

tl;dr Things moved too fast and I couldnt return their feelings at which point they threaten to kill themselves before blocking me.

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Is my (34m) mother (62f) gaslighting me?

TL:DR I'm on disability and my aunt excessively shames me for it. I think my mom is gaslighting me about it.

Let me start off by saying I'm on disablity. And relative to that, Ive been having problems with my aunt for over a year now.

She has said a lot of negative things to me while I was staying with her during my fathers cancer surgery, (a rough time for sure) to try to shame me for being on disability. Screaming at me to get a job, saying I'm not a real man, and that I'm going to hell. She mockingly calls me a little boy, calls me a pervert for no reason, and trash talks to her kids about me. I've even got the impression she doesn't want me to have kids. I feel this all stems from me being on disability.

I try to explain what she's said and how I feel to my mother. Her reaction is usually "she didn't mean any of those things, you're just taking them the wrong way". Which honestly makes me feel like I have a problem. She brought up talking to my aunt about it and mentioned she shouldn't be telling me to get a job.

Am I crazy to think that of all the things I told her my aunt said about me. That I'm going to hell, that I'm not even a man, I shouldn't have children....she picked "she shouldn't be telling you to get a job" as the most important thing to confront her about? That is almost trivial to me.

What my aunt hates about me and will shame, belittle, and seemingly harass me about is being on disability. And what they don't realize is I DESERVE to be on disability.

Am I crazy or is she gaslighting me about the issue?

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Advice if I should date this guy?

I am a 28 year old girl dating an investment banker! We have been together for 1.5 years now.He is a very nice person but never really spends time. We have not taken a single trip in this whole time. We don’t go on many dates and recently we were in two different countries and he did even video call me on my birthday let alone giving me a gift. I’m unsure if I have to continue dating him? Our parents are forcing us to get married but he’s saying he is not excited about the relationship now as much and that he needs more time to be sure. He is a really nice guy so I’m unsure if I should help him understand or just get the hint and leave him ?

Tl:dr - Should I date a great guy who is well educated but who does not show love or care as much ?

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TLDR Am I horrible for giving an ultimatum? 41f/54M LD 6months

I’ve been dating a man long distance for the past six months. We see each other multiple times a month and spend countless hours on FaceTime daily. We have an amazing sex life, our beliefs align and typically understand each other in every way…I feel like this man is the love of my life and says he loves me too. Here is the issue… I want to be in a committed relationship with him at this point. He however feels someone should spend 1-2 years as friends building the foundation before a committed relationship.He says at the point he wants the relationship he will propose marriage. I view this as backwards as I feel the commitment is a major part of building the foundation. I never intended to have a friends with benefits relationship with anyone because I know it’s makes me insecure. I have sacrificed my beliefs about relationships for his essentially. All this man would have to do is say he wants a relationship and I’m willing to relocated to his city, two states away in 60 days when my lease is up. Of course I won’t be doing that if he doesn’t want the commitment. I’m not asking for the ring or to move in with him!

To me I feel like after 6 months a man knows if he wants a relationship and future. I feel awful for telling him he needs to make the decision if he wants a future with me and if not I am going to walk away from the love of my life .

TLDR Am I horrible for giving an ultimatum?

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How to increase boyfriend's cum volume and shoot count?

Hi, I've previously been with a guy whose loads were enormous, not just in volume but also in repetitions (i.e., a lot of sperm would come out at each cumshot, and he would shoot around 7-10 times), which would turn me on like crazy.

My current boyfriend's cock is awesome, but he can barely cum, with an average 2 shoots per orgasm which are dense and do not even shoot out of his cock, but gently flow out of the tip.

I've been with him for 6 months now and I do really love him, but cum for me has always been a favourite in sex. How do I help him increase cum volume and repetitions?

I've tried edging, but it doesn't really work, and he drink less than half a litre per day, don't know if this has any impact.

TLDR: how to increase my boyfriend's cumshots and volume?

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My (20M) girl (21F) compares me to her ex in a good way. i don't know how to feel.

Hi all. I've been with this girl for about 3 months. We're in love and together always, just aren't official. Our relationship began only a few weeks after she was dumped by her now ex boyfriend of over a year. Yeah we moved fast.

Sometimes, not constantly, she compares my actions to her ex's, but in a good way. She says how much better i treat her than her ex, how i do things for her that he would never do, or how ive got a future when he doesn't. She tells me how she used to beg for things like flowers, compliments and she loves that i do those things just because. Twice she told me about times where he made her really upset. She even said he didn't like sex so she had to ask for it. I usually say how thats terrible and im happy to make her happy.

I'm truly flattered by it but also think its weird. I can't help but think she's not over him yet, especially since she was dumped by him. I understand she's barely had time to process the breakup so if she feels comfortable with me enough to share her frustrations then I'm there to listen and let her know im happy im better for her. She's said how she doesn't miss him, doesn't want him back, but she never said she was over him.

There was one time she compared me to him differently than the other times. We were getting in her car and she said how her ex used to open her door for her so I started doing it every time. And another time she told me about some joke they would say before getting in the car. There was one time after sex when she told me about something she used to ask her ex to do for her and he never would.

I trust her, she says all the time how she really loves me, how I'm the best guy she's ever loved and had sex with, and how she wants to take our relationship very seriously. I've asked her to be my gf and she said she wants to wait and not rush as to not mess up our relationship which has potential. Now I wonder if that also has something to do with her ex.

I can't understand why she could be thinking about her ex after i do good things. I feel like i could be insecure or overthinking , so i ask for advice on how to handle this and I appreciate it greatly.

tl;dr: my girl often says how im better than her ex from a few momths ago, or talks about times he made her upset. Is this a red flag?

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Right person wrong time? 22f/25m)

Tl;dr I (22f) met a guy in Aug and the connection was incredible. He travels for work all over the country but he came back to town numerous times, specifically for me. Recently he came back for a 4 month stint where we were in a honeymoon period, and I loved it!! At the end of the month he told me that he has taken a job in the city, 5 hrs away, that it looks like he will not be coming back anytime soon, and that he doesn’t like long distance. I understand that he wants to stay in once place and that all his friends and family live in the city, so I didn’t put up much of a fight for him. My friends think I have lost the right guy and right now so do I! He hasn’t reached out since he left and I’m terrified that I have let one of the best things to happen to me just walk away. What do I do?

Many thanks a lonely and sad girl

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30M and still a virgin and it is weighing on me heavily.

I remain a kissless virgin as 30 years old and it starting to bother me. Never had a relationship or done anything beyone a hug. Primarily due to having incredibly high inhibitions and being pre-occupied with others perception of me.

I've been told I'm quite good looking, and was approached quite frequently in my younger days. I'm 6ft tall, with an athletic build (Gym and training), have my own place etc. I'm confident in my body but not with my personality, it is like an absurd mismatch as I'm quite reclusive and softly spoken.

I've decent enough conversational skills, but have always had major mental hurdles interacting with woman (in therapy). I've literally had a random woman come sit on my lap at a party, and I asked if she would prefer a seat because I was uncomfortable with the situation... People have assumed, and directly told me that I'm gay probably for about 12 years when I'm definitely not.

The problematic thing is for some reason my libido has exponentially increased over the last 2 years, and it is pretty much unbearable to deal with. I'm virtually always frustrated and distracted and having difficulty suppressing it. I'm unsure if this is a psychological phenomenon or hormonal, but it has been pretty crazy.

The positive is this has pushed me out of my comfort zone, I'm a bit more active in pursuit on dating apps. Have been on my first date recently, which unfortunately didn't go anywhere, but was a major milestone for me. It is a slow, mostly unfulfilling process however, given the situation.

I'm also concerned about having to disclose this to any prospective partners. It seems most women will have experience and not be enticed by the idea of having to guide someone. I'd literally have no idea how to escalate or approach things, beyond instinctual actions. Certainly advice is needed?

Tl;dr

• 30 y/o kissless virgin, with intense libido
• Have been approached by women but have mental hang-ups and high inhibitions.
• Stressed about my lack of experience and performance issues. -Strong desire to change situation.

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Can’t decide if I (25F) should reach out to someone (27M) who I saw briefly

About a year ago I matched with someone on bumble, we went on a few dates and where in talking stages. When I broke things off because I started seeing someone else but that ended a couple months later.

We remained friends on Instagram but didn’t talk, until I went on a holiday he commented on my stories and we stared chatting. It was general life discussion stuff, we didn’t discuss meeting up again or anything.

It’s been about a month and a bit since I got back from holiday and I’m wondering if I should reach out to him or if it’s better just to leave it.

Tl;dr Unsure if I should try to rekindle something with someone, when I ended the relationship.

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Does it worth to pay ?

M18 Hey guys, I've never experienced any kind of relationship before. I never even kissed a girl, and always being ethier ignored or frindzoned (I am handsome, 185 cm height, being raised in a really good environment, kind, will never even swear if front of a girl 1 am with,). Currently in New Zealand (Auckland) (all friends and family are in the home country (far, far away). I do really want to spend my 19th birthday/Christmas/ NY with a girl, but clubs/Tinder/ dating apps are not for me. The question is, dear redditors, DOES IT WORTH to pay for a really expensive girl from escort +/- 200nzd /hr ? So, basically what I want is to her to teach me all the sexual stuff +watch a film with her + cuddling + wine drinking +interesting conversations + perhaps we could play biliard if she is good in it.

There are a couple of things which stop me from paying for it:

1. All girls from VIP escort had been fucked by many men

2. I don't want to have any medical problems afterwards

3.I don't want to feel myself lonely again after she left, since I know that she is only been with me for money

1. I fell in love really quickly I might belive in the fake the she is providing

TLDR: Does it worth to pay for an expensive escort if you are virgin (money are not the problem, the other things are) ?

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Why the Holidays Are a True Test of Your Relationship - The New York Times

Why the Holidays Are a True Test of Your Relationship  The New York Times

* This article was originally published here

Building relationships through gift-giving - Westfair Online

Building relationships through gift-giving  Westfair Online

* This article was originally published here

Rebates Can Help Trading Partners Build Stronger Relationships in 2024 - Supply and Demand Chain Executive

Rebates Can Help Trading Partners Build Stronger Relationships in 2024  Supply and Demand Chain Executive

* This article was originally published here

Bad Bunny and Kendall Jenner go separate ways after almost 1 year of dating: Exploring their relationship and split - PINKVILLA

Bad Bunny and Kendall Jenner go separate ways after almost 1 year of dating: Exploring their relationship and split  PINKVILLA

* This article was originally published here

Who's dating who: Relationship reveals, breakups in PH showbiz in 2023 - Rappler

Who's dating who: Relationship reveals, breakups in PH showbiz in 2023  Rappler

* This article was originally published here

The non-negotiables in a relationship: Here's what we should not settle for - Hindustan Times

The non-negotiables in a relationship: Here's what we should not settle for  Hindustan Times

* This article was originally published here

What's non-monogamy really like? We ask the couples who do it - Evening Standard

What's non-monogamy really like? We ask the couples who do it  Evening Standard

* This article was originally published here

KSI dating history: The YouTuber-boxer's current and past relationships explored - Sportskeeda

KSI dating history: The YouTuber-boxer's current and past relationships explored  Sportskeeda

* This article was originally published here

Molly-Mae responds to media speculation about her relationship with Tommy - Digital Spy

Molly-Mae responds to media speculation about her relationship with Tommy  Digital Spy

* This article was originally published here

Is it okay to hook up with someone, while expecting to continue dating someone else?

I [M22] met someone on vacation in August and dated and had sex with her for 1 week. I'm planning to move back there in January and continue dating her. We're texting fairly frequently (every 1-2 days).

Would it be wrong if I went on a date/hooked up with someone else during these months?

We obviously never had an exclusivity talk and we also talked about how we wanted to take it slow and date at a regular pace when I come back.

I see three options:

• I hook up with the other person and don't tell the first person about it.
• I ask the first person on whether she's seeing anyone else / or she'd be ok with me seeing anyone else. I feel like this is a weird question to ask.
• I don't hook up with the other person, without asking anyone.

A female friend of mine told me it's okay to date multiple people as long as you're not committed, but I always feel very unsure about this.

What do you think?

If communication is the answer, I would appreciate advice on how to best communicate this.

TLDR: Is it okay to hook up with someone, while expecting to continue dating someone else?

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Counsellor reveals the six worrying signs you could be in a toxic relationship - Yahoo Lifestyle UK

Counsellor reveals the six worrying signs you could be in a toxic relationship  Yahoo Lifestyle UK

* This article was originally published here

How do I M(30) navigate my ex F(26) now potentially resenting me?

Even though I was the one who chose to break things off, it needed her to finally understand the decision before going no contact with me. In her goodbye message she showed a renewed goodwill towards me having accepted my wish, and expressed a desire to tie up loose ends.

There are pictures we took during trips together that I never got around to sending her due to a lack of cloud space, so I'd asked her to download them so I can clear space for the rest of them. In the goodbye message she asked me to give her time and said she'd be in touch with me about sending the rest.

Well a week has gone by and I've heard absolutely nothing from her. I chased her up yesterday asking about it via the only channels I've got left to contact her to no avail.

It's eating me up on beyond reason. All of the pictures are from trips we did together, trips I know she loved and felt all the more connected to me for. Breaking up hurts me immensely too, but when I reflect on the time spent together I naturally want to view it from a place of gratitude, remembering the happy moments. She gave me the impression that she isn't the type to erase all evidence of her ex partners, but I'm starting to fear that she's trying to do that right now.

I realise it's an ego thing and I have to get past worrying about things I can't control, but it's incredibly difficult. Her not chasing me up on the pictures is a kind of rejection I haven't experienced before. The idea of her wanting to forget everything, erasing the memories from her life feels like it was all for nothing, making it harder from my perspective to accept the past and move on.

TLDR; My ex seemingly no longer wants the pictures of us I'm supposed to send her. It's getting me down and impacting my ability to move on.

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The guy(27M) I'm seeing(25F) has hinted at being small. Any tips?

So I'm(25F)seeing a guy(27M) and while we have made out and it's going good in other aspects, he's alluded to him being small and I not sure what to expect and how it might impact things. The next date is at his place for dinner and I don't know how to react if it goes towards that topic or we proceed to the next stage. Of course I don't want to come across as harsh or disrespectful. But to be honest, I'm not sure if I'd be satisfied as well. We're both looking for something long-term and I like spending time with him and we are taking it step by step, but of course sex is a very important element to any relationship and it's not going to work if we're not compatible. I guess I'm just anxious thinking about this.

What I'm expecting here is one, how to react if it's too small in a non offensive way(though I'm always polite) and also if someone has a partner that is small, how has it impacted your relationship.

Tldr: same as title.

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Signs that you may have outgrown relationships or situations around you - Hindustan Times

Signs that you may have outgrown relationships or situations around you  Hindustan Times

* This article was originally published here

My friends think he’s taking advantage of me

My (22f) boyfriend (23m) broke up with me due to going through a really really really hard time with his physical and mental health. He decided that it was best for us to break up, cause he said I deserved someone who could give me the world as he couldn’t because of his physical and mental health. He is fatigued and works fulltime to distract himself from the pain and the reality of being chronically ill.

I was heartbroken cause I was and am still willing to stay by his side and love him unconditionally. I have never loved and cared for a man as much as I have with him. He is the most hardworking, sweetest, funniest, smartest and resilient man I know. He was my first healthy relationship and taught me what it meant to be genuinely loved.

Despite being sad, I respected and accepted his decision and we have decided to stay friends. We talk on the phone every day and we’re very vocal about our love and appreciation towards one another and even went out on a little date the other day.

My friends (21f, 22f) think it’s bullshit, they think that any time a man breaks up with you but still continues to act like you’re in a relationship, that means he just wants the advantages of being in a relationship without having to commit. They frequently use the saying “if he wanted to, he would” meaning that if he genuinely loved me, he would fight for me and still try to make our relationship work.

I think that what they’re saying is not true, inconsiderate and heartless given his circumstances. He’s tired, extremely ill and in constant pain. It’s not fair to expect so much from someone who’s dealing with so much in their life.

What’s your opinion on this?

TLDR; boyfriend broke up with me due to his really bad physical and mental health. we decided to stay friends and stay in contact regularly, even went on a little date. friends think it’s bullshit and don’t get why he would breakup with me if he genuinely loves me so much.

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Am I wrong for thinking about ending friendship

Been friends for 10 years. Friend left her husband for a guy she works with (he left his wife). She has 3 kids and he has two. Imploded their families, got together within two months. Moved in together, all kids thrust together basically. Slapped her ex with a DVO. Coparenting relationships are not civil. She has now fallen out with her sister and Mom due to them not being supportive of their new family unit.

I have supported her this whole time until I just couldn’t do it anymore. It started giving me major ick. Believe they are the victims in the situation; can’t believe their exes hate them. Total mental gymnastics and they act so hard done by. I texted her explaining how I felt (I know text isn’t great but I articulate myself better in writing). Shes obviously not happy with what Ive said. Believes friends support each other even when they don’t always agree, which yes, of course. However, when it comes to questions of character and morals, where do you draw the line. Unsure where to go from here? I think our values just don’t align anymore. Am I wrong for ‘ambushing’ my friend with my concerns/feelings?

TLDR; friend making questionable choices, unsure if I can/want to continue friendship. Am I wrong?

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If someone does these 13 things while dating, they're trying to avoid ... - Hack Spirit

If someone does these 13 things while dating, they're trying to avoid ...  Hack Spirit

* This article was originally published here

No emotional support from bf since my Bff's su*c*de

I need advice. I'm in the grips of grief and struggling with feeling a total lack of support. I'm about ready to give up.

TW: su•c•de

Since my (26 F) best friend's (27 F) sudden suicide my boyfriend (23 M) has been really absent and not prioritized making any time for me. He and I have been together going in two years on February 13th. She was my best friend for years before he and I met. He knew her and I had a somewhat romantic but non-sexual relationship.

On D-day he talked to me for around an hour then went to sleep mid convo. Thanksgiving, of course he was busy, going to his best friends thanksgiving. The next day/ the night before the funeral he had plans to help his best friend with fixing a fence, then after was busy cleaning his desk, so still absent. He finally video chatted me for a few but again fell asleep during. Then the day of the funeral, he slept in late then had to work a party at his job, the Birthday of the brewery he works at, so again too busy to talk to me. Photos of him grinning surrounded by female coworkers getting posted to his fb... Made me feel even worse...The day after the funeral I hardly received anything at all then he was just busy working at the brewery again. Again the next day, he's just too busy all day to talk to me, then had to go work at the brewery. The next day he's sick and sleeping, I have to convince him to take care of himself, so he takes a covid test and its positive. I get him to take medicine. Naturally he was pretty much asleep for days, but when he started feeling better again, he immediately went back to filling all of his time and being absent. He immediately went back to the brewery the night if. Then next day went to his best friends brother's birthday party, Then went to okay video games together. The past two nights he told me he would call me after he was done playing video games with his friends so I waited up. He never came back either night. Both nights he said he was going to finish something in a game with his friends and call me after. I wait up till midnight before accepting he is not going to be calling.

Since I lost her, he hardly talks to me. If/When he does he just goes to sleep on the call. Last night when he said he would call after video games I even replied I didn't want to wait around all night for him to maybe call. He didn't acknowledge I said that and then he just literally did the same thing again.

I keep clearly communicating my needs and feelings and explaining how much it hurts me he's been so absent in my time of need, and that his poor communication skills are hurting me but he's just "sorry" and nothing is different. This is the hardest time of my life and I feel so abandoned.

We're already living long distance to each other bc when I recognized our apartment was raising our rent too much, I insisted we move and was told he was making moves to make that happen. I sent countless links to other apartments and housing continuously trying to work on it. He wasn't actually doing anything, not even what he said he was doing (saving account for the move, looking at the places I was showing, claiming he'll reach out to the new places). He just planned for us to remain where we were without ever verbalizing it. He didn't communicate to me that this decision was then dragging us under and didn't communicate about what was going on. I even asked him to write everything out for me so I could start doing the budgeting but got the minimum info. So when he finally told me what was happening...it was bc he suddenly realized we couldnt afford the apartment we were in anymore, he broke up with me and told me he's sending me cross country to my parents. They didn't know of this at the time. He dropped it all on me suddenly and had his best friend and brother ready to come over and start grabbing his stuff. He wouldn't send them away either but insisted they were the ones insisting on moving all his stuff out immediately. He said they didn't even know what was going on, just that he was leaving me and refused to back down. Finally after they leave with his stuff and the apartment looks ransacked, I try to talk to him and he ends up going to sleep holding me. I wake up all night anxious but in the morning I wake up and talk to him, he comes down off wanting us to break up and says he just panicked. The next couple weeks were full of abandonment anxiety and getting proposed to, but with a ring another man once proposed to me with... Then I flew across country and a day later found my best friend ended her life.

This is all a lot harder because initially when I found out I felt unsafe with myself, and it lasted for days. My best friend and I emotionally supported each other a lot because we struggled with similar trauma, depression, and Neuro-divergent issues, in addition to a lack of emotional support. I thought I was closer to losing the battle than she was tbh. I thought she was stronger than me. She kept me going when I wanted to give up. I kept telling my partner how bad the grief was effecting me and he's just absent. I started deluding myself, thinking I could find her in another realm if I ended my life. When I took the 6 hour trip to her funeral I hardly planned to return. I was really not doing well and maybe I made it through it but I didn't have emotional support when I needed it most. Again, I do communicate that I'm feeling unsafe with myself and needing support. But it hurts very badly that someone who "loves me" has emotionally neglected me during the hardest time of my life.

Anyway what am I to do? I know I need to get into therapy but I'm still trying to get insurance in this state. All of my belongings are still with my bf across the country and I am advised not to make large life changing decisions while in mourning but I feel so uncared for that just being in this relationship is starting to make me feel even more hopeless. I feel I have lost everything. I believe he does love me but it's like a literal golden retriever, theyre not gonna text or call but will be happy and cute when you're in the same room as them.

TL;DR My boyfriend hasn't been there for me since my best friend killed herself, apparently oblivious to my need of support though I keep clearly communicating what I need.

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Really struggling after he [33M] suddenly ended things with me [31F] before a trip

This is long!! I apologize! Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read it.

Background

• met on an app and had our first date end of June. I had a feeling even before I met him that this connection would be special, but tried to manage my expectations by going on other dates too.
• at the beginning he kept deferring sex with me - but he also mentioned he mentioned wanting to "explore" the dating scene so I figured he was getting it from somewhere else. I found out later he is actually a bit inexperienced with the actual of sex (but not with other things like oral). I'm the second girl he has slept with. One important thing to note - he can't always "perform" but insisted it was based on external factors (ie. not liking when a girl is on top, having a variable refractory period that can last up to 2 days, not putting it inside me quick enough, etc). He claims his inexperience with sex is due to "morals" but I suspect this "difficulty" plays a part too.
• probably also important to note, his family is +++influential/wealthy in our city which I turned a blind eye to while we were dating because I didn't want it to change our dynamic. I knew he was well off but didn't really know the extent. I'm a healthcare worker and stuff about the business world goes over my head.
• we had an amazing summer, no talks about where it's going but since we both had other relationships end in the spring I was fine with this pace.
• but by September, we had the exclusivity conversation but didn't label things yet. During this conversation, he mentioned that I was the only girl he had been physical with since we first got together. This or any other expectations about this had not been communicated with me before. So, I was transparent and told him I slept with another guy twice early on (somewhere around date 5) because my assumption was that he wanted things to be casual. He was pretty bothered by this despite me explaining that he never communicated with me that he prefers being physical with only one person at a time, that I wasn't sure where he stood. I told him I don't know the exact dates of when the overlap happened at that point but gave him a ballpark week.
• I said that we didn't know each other's boundaries because they were not communicated but now that we do, and we can move forward with a shared set of expectations. I found out later he was actually still going on first dates at this time anyway, but he claims it was never physical. He brings the fact that I was physical with someone after him up twice, because he has trouble wrapping his head around it - but says he doesn't want to stop seeing me over it. Eventually we move past it.

Relationship progression

• September and October were literally the happiest months of my life. I truly thought I had found my person. A lot of my friends commented they had never seen me this way before (ie. talking openly to them about my feelings and trying to be vulnerable with him). I'm a pretty guarded person but I tried so hard to be open and vulnerable with him.
• I met all his friends and immediate/extended family who loved me. He planned a weekend trip (international flight) for Nov 24, which gave me the impression things were moving in the right direction.
• He started calling me pet names like babe, beautiful; started sending me lovey emojis which again I thought was a signal for progression.
• I'm at his place 3-5x/week and we text all day.
• we started exploring more sexually - there were certain things he wanted to try and I was more than happy to oblige.
  Weirdness
• I noticed he kept saying things like "you say no to me too much", "why are you saying no, you need to say yes more" whenever I would say I didn't have time to have sex (sometimes he would push for 2-3 times a day despite not being...physically able to anyway).
• the night before his birthday party, he said something along the lines of "I'll just do stuff to you in your sleep" when I told him I was so tired and would fall asleep midway. This made me uncomfortable because I have actually been in this situation before, so I said verbatim "can we maybe change the language being used in situations like this... it reminds me of a non consensual, bad experience I've had and I don't want to cross associate that with you because I like you and what we're doing". He pushes me to expand on my experience and eventually I cave and tell him about it."
• morning after, things were fine, but by afternoon he was weirdly distant. At the party, he wasn't really interacting with me. To the day, he stopped calling me those pet names, stopped sending me lovey emojis, stopped saying he was excited to see me. I asked him about this multiple times and even asked if it had anything to do with what I shared with him. He said no. The little lovey behaviours never come back but he's still overall normal so I didn't push it.
• but then, he also started insisting that he knew "my secrets" and "what I was hiding from him" - other than childhood baggage I had no idea what he was referring to and he refused to discuss it with me, but held it over my head for weeks which felt manipulative and caused me anxiety.
  Sexual escalation
• despite pulling away emotionally at this time, he started escalating things we would do sexually. For example, he tied me up which I have never experienced before. We had a big night out planned around this. Then he wanted me to tie him up, which I was intimidated by so I told him I would do it but I needed some time to wrap my head around it and plan how I'd execute it etc. Finally he just set a date for me to do it because he wanted it sooner rather than later - Nov 18
• In the meantime, he kept bringing up anal which I had previously said (before we were even exclusive) I didn't feel comfortable doing without a relationship label. First he said he was very patient and would do things at whatever pace I wanted. After two weeks, he told me he was "eager" and wanted to do it "before the trip". Alarm bells started going off - what was the rush to do all these things before the trip?
• Meanwhile, for Nov 18, I planned a very elaborate date just as he did for me - I made him a fake little dinner invitation with instructions on what to do and where to meet me; took him to a Michelin star restaurant (his request) and an orchestra; bought lingerie that he had picked out. The works.
• that day, he asked me for an explicit picture which I stupidly gave. The date went pretty good. The next morning, he asked me to blow him which I obliged to; then he asked me to do two other things I had previously said I'm shy about but would definitely explore with him. However, I had to go to work so I told him we could do it when we had more time.
  Dumped
• I went to work and he didn't text me for 9 hours.
• after work, I asked if everything was okay. Long story short, he said over the last 2 weeks he had been thinking about future/direction and what we both want, and that he realized "today" he was nervous about our trip to Nashville.
• I had him call me and he basically said there was no potential for this to be more serious than it has already gotten.
• I was angry because he had asked for explicit pictures and sexual acts that I wasn't overly comfy with literally within 24 hours of breaking up with me, as well as escalating our sex life while having doubts. It just seemed so out of character. I was also upset that he passed so much judgment on decisions I made when we weren't even exclusive on the basis of "morals" but then did this to me. I didn't mention this to him but he also watched me drop 1k+ on him during this date night - which is probably is pennies to him, but I work hard for my money. I tell him I feel used and taken advantage of sexually.
• the next day he insists on talking in person. I relent. First he tried to villainize me for getting angry on the phone ("you say you almost never get angry, and yet you got angry on the phone"). I told him I'm entitled to my emotions and it's not like I raised my voice, swore, or did anything like that. So he pivots to trying to get me to refute my feelings. It's clear he doesn't like that I'm saying I feel used and taken advantage of and keeps trying to change my mind by adding more retroactive context the story (ie. saying he actually didn't have doubts for 2 weeks, that it was an epiphany instead; saying that he didn't actually plan to break up, just wanted to sort out his thoughts, but because I asked to talk about it he thought the most fair thing to do would be to dump me; asking me how I could possibly think this was planned when he was literally making reservations for our trip, buying me Christmas gifts and planning surprise dates for me the day before).
• he also tried making out with me twice.
• what bugs me the most is he again kept bringing up me "hiding" something from him but refused to elaborate on what it was.
• I asked "why is this ending again?" and still just got a vague "it just doesn't have enough leg to be serious".
  Guys, I'm really struggling - I really thought I had found my person and feel it ended so abruptly and vaguely. I feel so broken while he is living life and posting constantly on social media. All of my friends agree that the trajectory of the end of the relationship, as well as the reasoning for its end, is really confusing and some of them are encouraging me to reach out to get more closure but I think it's a bad idea. Anyone have any insight? What should I do?

Tl;dr: dated a guy for 5 months for it to suddenly end right before a trip, left feeling confused, so depressed, and unsure how to move forward.

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* This article was originally published here

I feel like I can't stand my relatives anymore

I (20f) live about over 200 miles away from my mom. She lives at the countryside and the people there are just odd to me. Very religious and just weird to me. I visit my mom usually once in two months because of the distance and often while visiting I have to see my stepfather's relatives as well. My mom's in laws are those types of people who don't understand most of the situations and speak up their minds and comment things without thinking first. Their comments usually make the room feel awkward and sometimes makes me feel rage of their stupidity. I have tried to be nice to them even though their comments sometimes makes me want to speak back at them. But now that their stupid comments are going under my skin because they don't see anything wrong with commenting about someone's health just like that, without even knowing how the other person really feels. I want to keep the peace with them since I see them as well when I visit my mom but I'm tired of playing pretend anymore and I want to put them on their place at least as nice as I can without starting a big argue.

TL;DR: my mom's in laws are driving me crazy with their awkward and rude comments and I can't keep it in me anymore. I want to put them in their place and make them understand that they just can't blurt out everything they are thinking at the moment without knowing the seriousness of the situations. How can I do this without causing a big scene?

submitted by /u/tiny_feisty_rebel
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* This article was originally published here

Me [40M] with my wife [40F] 10 Years, Redemption from Online Indiscretion, Seeking Guidance/Wisdom from Kind, Married Women on Reddit

I'm generally happy in my marriage, except for constantly getting denied for intimacy in bed (successful only once a month).

Recently, I started communicating with a divorced woman on Reddit. Our conversation began casually like getting to know each other, but eventually, we discussed my marital frustrations related to sex, and the conversation took a NSFW turn a few days ago.

She expressed strong attraction toward me, and she said she hadn't felt like this since her divorce seven years ago.

I believe that I just cheated on my wife even if it's online, and I recognize that this is harmful to my wife, me, and the woman. I've decided to stop.

I'm now asking myself whether to confess to my wife and seek her forgiveness. If I do, I'm not sure how to go about it. Or, considering the risks, is it better to keep this a secret and ensure that it never happens again?

I know I'm a terrible person, but I'm hoping some kind women on Reddit could provide some guidance and wisdom.

Thank you for any insights you can provide.

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tl;dr: I cheated online. Should I disclose to my wife? If so how?

submitted by /u/lost-soul-2023
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* This article was originally published here