Trying hard not to give up

I (23F) reconnected with a guy I met in 2020 last summer and ended up going on dates for a while. I typically take a lighthearted approach to things. A few months in I suggested we should see each other more and he (24M) gave me the run around about being busy that guys give when they don’t want to see you. He told me he cared about me but wasn’t emotionally available because busy with work. That was in the Fall, fast forward three months when I invite him over to have sex (at this point I’d figured if he’s not available for something serious that doesn’t mean we can’t have sex with each other which we both enjoy). Basically he has a mental breakdown the week following the sex, tells me he can’t handle just sex with me and that he always wanted something serious but thought I didn’t so he suppressed his emotions. then we agreed to stop talking, his idea.

This was a major blow on my everything. My heart, my perception of people, my perception of myself. Since that happened earlier this year it feels like I encountered a couple of misfortunate, short lived dating situations after. I’m trying to keep hope of healthy, intimate love but sometimes I look at the world we live in and at my experiences and what we’ve normalized and the chances seem so… idk. I refuse to say impossible but I don’t know. I was seeing another guy and he was so kind, then all of a sudden became super unresponsive and not so kind. And I know it has nothing to do with anything I did, because I didn’t do anything. Stuff like that just hurts

I hate that as a woman (or maybe it happens to everyone) you’re not even allowed to say you feel lonely/want intimacy. I feel like people treat you like you’re weak for wanting these things or assume you must not “love yourself enough”. I truly love myself and I show this by making the best decisions for myself that I can/am capable of, like actually letting myself walk away from toxic dating situations. I just really miss the intimacy shared in romance, the physical touch, the companionship. I haven’t had a boyfriend in about 4 years now. I feel really lonely sometimes, and I never used to feel this way but I think having been so close to it with the last guy I took seriously and having him walk out of my life makes me feel even lonelier.

I don’t know what to do guys. And I don’t want to give up. I don’t even think it’s a choice. But jeesh I’m exhausted. I just want to be held and roll over and kiss someone sometimes. And share my feelings and vice versa. And most important of all I want it to be healthy.

Has anyone been in a similar position & can offer any relevant advice?

TL;DR woman has had disappointing prospects in last 6 months & feels pretty lonely. seeking insight from people who have been in similar situations or observed them

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* This article was originally published here

What do I do if my boyfriend gets jealous that my best friend is still friends with my ex?

Hi everyone!

Been with this guy (31) me (26) for about 6-7 months now. We met online on hinge.

Anyway, he is a great person, we are so in love but my relationship is falling apart. My best friend is still friends with my ex boyfriend who I was with for about 8 years. He formed a bond with most of my friends and after we broke up, I do not think it was fair for anyone to end a friendship with him. My best friend him and I all met together and were friends around high school time.

My now boyfriend thinks that my best friend shouldn’t be friends with him. He thinks that my ex is gonna come around. (My best friend had her graduation a few days ago, my ex was invited by my actual boyfriend wasn’t, so that offended my BF) other than that, we don’t talk about my ex or anything

Anyway, I don’t know what to do bc my actual BF says this is something that he does not want to deal with. I mean, if he cannot deal with my reality then there is nothing I can do sadly. MY bc is not going to end a friendship nor should she for me.

TLDR: my current boyfriend gets upset that my best friend is still in contact with my ex.

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Mom [60F] has mentally deteriorated a lot in past 2 years and refuses to admit a problem

Hello. This is long, I’m sorry. Thanks if you read it all.

I’m [30sF] and don’t live in the same state as my mom. My parents separated about 5 years ago (amicable separation at the time, still technically married so she can be on his insurance) so she currently still lives in the house I grew up in with my brother [22M] who just graduated college and still lives at home. My other parent lives nearby but separately.

She does not work and has not since I was born 30+ years ago.

Due to Covid, I had only been home for a visit once in the past 2 years, and it was only for 1 night when I had to be in town for a funeral. It was so short that I didn’t notice THAT much wrong. The house was messier than in the past and she seemed a bit more quirky/loopy than usual, i tried to talk to her about it and expressed concern after that trip and she FREAKED out at me, swearing and telling me to mind my own business. I dropped it because out of sight out of mind…

Recently however I went home for a full week. And I was horrified and disturbed by how much the state of things has escalated.

The first huge red flag is when she picked me up from the airport she proceeded to drive like a MANIAC. 60 mph on residential back streets. She even tried to run 3 separate red lights “because no one is coming” and then laughed (???) when I was like MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP?? She used to be the slowest, most annoyingly (to teenage me) careful driver ever. I finally had to yell at her to pull over and drive the rest of the way home myself.

Then, the house… the house is overrun with hoarding. She has always had an issue getting rid of items but this has escalated. Every room has stacks of boxes and random shit. She also now prints out every news story she comes across online and files away paper copies of them (???)

There is an entire room that we can’t even go into because it’s so packed with shit. This room was my brothers room before he originally left for college. When he first had to move back home from college during Covid he was sleeping on the couch because she refused to clear the room out. But after he graduated in December he got his first job and it’s a WFH job involving lots of Zoom so he needed a private space (he is saving to move out ASAP). Rather than let him make space in this extra room, she gave him her bedroom. This was an argument at the time bc my brother didn’t want to take it but my mom just stopped going into that room and moved her stuff out so eventually he moved into it.

I wish I could say she sleeps on the couch or something now but no. Over the past few months she has apparently begun sleeping on the floor in random places around the house. No blankets or pillows. She just lays on the floor. I thought my brother was exaggerating but when I was home a few times I was startled to walk into a random part of the house and see her literally laying as though dead on the floor.

Then, the food situation. Hoarding has extended into food. We don’t have enough room in the pantry for all the food she buys so there’s just piles of food on the floor in the kitchen. 10+ unopened bags of chips, 3 giant unopened bags of flour, etc. The fridge smells like garbage when you open it. Nearly everything in it is expired and visibly moldy. My brother said she yells at him when he tries to clear out old food, and that he has thrown away stuff in secret before and then find it in the fridge again the next morning… meaning my mom picks it out of the trash in the night. While I was home I made enchiladas for the family and before going to bed asked her where the Tupperware was so I could save leftovers. She said no worries she will do it. THREE days later I noticed they were in Tupperware but just tucked away out on the counter… I went to throw them away and she yelled at me that they were still good and snatched them back… no, they’re meat and cheese enchiladas that have sat at room temperature for over 72 hours now!!! When I tried to calmly bring up food safety she scoffed and then when I pressed it she got extremely defensive.

THEN, there’s her additional visible mental deterioration… she has started slurring her speech quite a bit more than in the past and repeats stories multiple times. Like, she will tell the same story 4-5x in one day. And get mad if you tell her she already told you. She will also be extremely mean to my brother when she never was when we were kids. She will tell him to fuck off (I overheard one such incident when he asked her if she could please stop sleeping on the floor in front of the only bathroom in the house) with so much vitriol in her voice. She is NOT the same person. She was a great mom who practiced gentle parenting. It’s insane to me how she has changed.

She used to drink when we were younger ( I remember her making a cocktail for herself at bedtime my entire life) but told all of us that she stopped several years ago. When I was home I did snoop and it’s true that her normal liquor cabinet just had juice and coffee in it. But my brother told me he sees her with the mini bottles (like from gas stations, the $2 ones) in her pockets all the time. I’m worried that she may actually never be 100% sober which would explain a lot of her bizarre behavior. It also is heartwrenching to think that she’d be okay driving me/my brother anywhere if she’d been drinking.

I know this is super long but I just don’t know what our options are. She refuses to admit she has a problem. She brushes off my suggestions to see a therapist or talk to her doctor about anything. And last time I tried to gently bring up my concerns framing them as coming from a place of love, when things weren’t even nearly as bad, she blew up at me.

Is there anything I can do?? It’s heartbreaking to see her deteriorate like this but I feel very powerless, especially living so far away. What do you guys think it is?? Alcoholism?? Some sort of dementia or something?? I have googled so much about how to help and every site just says to be patient and give the loved one space until they are ready to accept help. But I don’t see that ever happening…

TL;DR recently visited mother for first time in 2 years and found she has mentally deteriorated significantly. Not sure how to help her.

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* This article was originally published here

Taken for granted and need advice to fix it

I (F20) and (M20) started out as fwb around 13 months ago. We got along really well but never talked about anything more as he was supposed to move a way for good in 2 months. He moved away, and then we began texting a lot everyday and began having feelings for each other. This lasted around 4 months. Then he came back for a month as vacation, and everything between us was great. Feelings got stronger, and we’d spend almost every waking hour together. It was perfect, but we avoided any and all talk about a relationship due to neither of us wanting long distance. He leaves again, but ends up coming back after a month and stays here for good. So we decide to get into a relationship. He had a lot of trust issues, but we worked on them a lot. This led to having my own trust issues neglected. We have a mutual female friend who he has a history with, he was avoiding hanging out with her the first few months for several reasons, he told me this (not liking her as a person anymore, out of respect for me, out of respect for her boyfriend who is also his bestfriend). This began to change, and whenever everyone is busy he would hang out with her alone. He already knew i didn’t feel comfortable with them hanging out alone especially with alcohol, given the history. I told him i feel hurt whenever they hang out alone, and that i don’t want it to happen. He agreed it wont happen again, but the next day he made plans with her to hang out. I felt like i was being cheated on. I know he wouldn’t cheat on me, but the hanging out itself felt like cheating especially because i asked him not to and he agreed. I was angry but he kept telling me i have nothing to worry about whatsoever. A few days later, he breaks up with me saying he doesn’t love me anymore but still has a lot of feelings for me. Says we’re always arguing and i’m always angry, even tho that only happens when he hangs out with her. I go no contact for a few days, he texts me saying that he misses me and doesn’t want to throw our friendship away (we had become bestfriends) i say i can’t be his friend, we fight some more then agree to simply take the label off. We would be just like we were prior to making the relationship official (no sleeping with other people, treat each other as if we’re together, etc) the label was a lot of pressure for him, and it was for me too. When we took away the label, things between us got a lot better. Last night, he jokingly starts telling me how he can sleep with whoever he wants and i have no say over him, then he starts playfully wrestling me ( which we always do, but only for a few minutes) but this time it goes too long and i keep telling him to stop it but hes just laughing and continuing. This goes on for hours, and i get really angry, yell at him, then decide i want to leave. He quickly begins apologizing and asking me not to leave, he tears up (first time that happens in our relationship) i tell him hes taking me for granted and needs to know when to stop when joking and to stop overdoing and crossing my boundaries. I tell him if anything similar happens again i will leave and he will never see me again. This is when hes really affected and tearing up, tries to hug me and asks me to go back inside. I haven’t brought this up to him, but a feel taken for granted in many areas not just the boundary crossing thing. I like to go out once in a while, he likes to stay in 24/7. He won’t go out with me at all. He used to before, now he just doesn’t bother. Nothings ever about what i want, it’s all about him. I don’t know if threatening to leave him will fix this issue, but i feel like theres nothing else i can do. I don’t want to leave him, but i’m very confused i don’t understand what he wants and i don’t know what to do to fix it. I’m exhausted but i know i’d feel worse if he isn’t in my life. I know we can work it out if i manage to get to him but i don’t know how to approach the issue without him shutting down. Does anyone have any tips? How can i work it out? Should i just give him a taste of his own medicine or try to deal with it nicely? Please any advice would help. I know he cares about me a lot, but i don’t know how to fix this sudden behavioral change. I feel under-appreciated but it’s early on in the issue do i think it could be fixed i just don’t know how. He’s not abusive nor manipulative, he’s a very genuine person but lashes out sometimes.

TL;DR we removed the label from our relationship and now he’s taking me for granted and i threatened to leave him completely. I need advice on how to make him appreciate me and how to approach this

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* This article was originally published here

My girlfriend [22F] is extremely depressed and I [M22] don't know how to handle it anymore.

We've been together for around 2 years. 1.5 years have been long distance. She lives in a rural area.

It has been around a year since she has become extremely depressed. She refuses to take meds, as well as online therapy (as face-to-face would be too far for her).

Talking to her feels like a chore. Every 2 days she mentions how she will finally start changing and gives me spiritual quotes but ends up doing nothing. She never has anything to talk about. I ask how her day went and she says she did nothing/lay in bed/was thinking. I have tried supporting her. Talking to her for hours daily about her thoughts, researching, and how to overcome etc. I tried having us doing something together, like learning a language on duolingo together, making workout goals, watching a series together, studying together (she has university entrance exams in a month). But it all ends in doing nothing. I'm genuinely exhausted of hearing her spiritual talks that motivate her for an hour and end up in absolutely nothing. I legit don't mind having any kind of conversation with her but she doesnt have anything to say at all and I end up making the conversation.

I tried asking for a break but she went batshit crazy and ended up crying heavily, blocking me and unblocking me repeatedly and spamming my phone with 1000+ messages.

I want to be with her, I'm not physically close to her and I don't know if we will be able to meet (as she doesn't seem to have any worked out goals and motives outside of laying in bed). My mood goes completely down when I talk to her and it makes me feel stuck as I can't fully feel content with the person I want to be with.

I know this whole post makes me sound like an asshole, but I also want to focus on my career, family and myself. And I don't want breakup to be an option here.

TLDR: Girlfriend has been depressed for over a year. I tried supporting her, but end up feeling stuck myself. Meds and therapy have been refused and breakup isn't an option

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* This article was originally published here

I'm (32M) and my girlfriend (29F) of 6 months lied to me twice about the same thing

My girlfriend shared about her past without me asking for it. Initially I appreciated her upfront effort and found it respectable. I would have asked about it anyway at some-point, but not with the depth that she ended up sharing. About her past relationships, she jumbled up the outline of the story like timeline and how she met the people, but was clear about the main events. I caught her first-time doing this and I asked her why does is story a bit different? And she promised it was the real story this time. But then, I had some suspicion, and after a while I ended up asking again indirectly and she again cooked up another outline, similar to what she said first time. I was worried why is she doing this. She broke into tears saying she does not want to lose me and I am too precious for her. She explained why she did it, and it still did not make sense because one of the event was tragic and didn't want me to make sense that all of those events led to the tragic event (interestingly, she isn't very sure about whether tragic event really happened or not because she claims she has no memory of it). This is a person who is intelligent (very bright academically), treats me with sweetness, is good with words has a job that values her work, has claimed that she can easily cook up a lie, calls herself extremely flawed, claims to have a saviour-complex, one single argument with a close one makes her feel she is about to be abandoned and starts thinking in extremes, she has once described herself volatile, was addicted to alcohol for 2 years (stopped drinking every since meeting me), has anger issues (although she is always calm with me). And whenever I ask her why does she call herself certain things like "volatile", she brushes it off saying I am not the same anymore. I am really having difficulty understanding who she really is, it's like my perception of her in my mind is distorted and confusing. I had asked her old-roommate once if I should know something about her that's important. She described her as a nice person at heart, but can get very aggressive and advised me to not believe everything she says because she is very insecure.

tl;dr Ever since she has conveniently lied to me twice about the same thing, randomly letting me know about her flaws with heavy words like "volatile" and not clearly explaining why she calls herself those things, I feel something is really off and I can't tell what it is. How do I make sense of this situation?

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My(31f) helpful mum (68f) Invades my Privacy and moves stuff around, causing important possessions to be lost and put through the washing machine.

I've just this week moved into a flat and my mum has been helping a lot. She drove my furniture to the new flat and bought me a table and chairs. In grateful for this but she is a very nosey person and I've always had to hide any personal things for when she visits, as she looks through all my drawers and also moves stuff around all the time causing me to lose important things.

I was having a delivery that couldn't be rescheduled but I was at work, so she offered to wait for it in the flat. I made sure to hide my important stuff in a zipped up bag, wrapped in clothes in the wardrobe, covered by a duvet. Felt okay about it all as I took precautions, but stupidly underestimated her nosey-ness.

I had keys to my old flat that need to be handed in before the weekend, which were in a tiny pouch hidden in some jean pockets. My DS games and jewellery were locked in a small safe also in wardrobe, the key to which was hidden inside a sock in the inside pocket of a tiny suitcase under the bed. There was also a 3DS in the same suit case and feminine care items. I pushed it right to the back under the double bed so it was very hard to reach and put a cushion in front to hide it.

When I got back, she had 'done multiple clothes washes' which included all clothes in said bag, the sock in the suitcase, and literally everything in every drawer. Stuff id washed at hers and not even worn yet. This meant that my old flat keys, the key to my safe, and all the other stuff had been through the wash. Of course I couldn't find barely any of them. My 3DS, headphones, the keys, and other items are still missing.

Not only that, but I've had a gum infection and am on antibiotics which were in a drawer in the kitchen. She rearranged all my drawers and now I can't find them anywhere. I've found the painkillers I was taking to help with it in the cupboard in the bathroom. But they were both together in the kitchen.

I've been texting her asking where things are, and she gets mad each time and calls me ungrateful, saying she was trying to help. She can't remember where she moved anything. But this is a huge invasion of privacy. Also I'm in trouble now as I can't find the flat keys, cant get to a Dr to get more antibiotics, and I love my 3DS.

How can I talk to her about this? She wants to come over again soon, but even when I'm there I can't let her out of my sight.

TL:Dr: my mum came to my flat and moved everything around, put stuff through the wash that was valuable. I don't know how to talk to her about it without her getting angry.

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I discovered flirtly messages that my dad (63M) exchanged with another woman, who is not my mom...

TLDR: my dad (63M) sent flirty messages to a woman who is not my mom, and they've been married for almost 30 years; who do I tell?

First of all, sorry for my English, it's not my native language. It's also my first time using reddit, I'm feeling really upset and confused at the moment and I've always seen useful advice here so I'm going to try and explain myself. 'm going to use fake names.

I've always thought my (27F) dad (63M) and mom (53F) had an amazing marriage: together for almost 30 years, loving, funny, very close to each other and to me and my brother (24M). We are currently on vacation near home, and while I was using my dad's phone to send to my brother the pictures we took, Laura (40F), a woman who my parents knows because they're in an amateur running team, sent him a message. I opened the chat because we always use each other's phone so it is not weird for me to read his messages to him, but what I saw made me almost cry.

I had the strength (and time, before he came back) to just read a few messages, but basically he was telling her that he wanted to take the dress she had yesterday evening off (they came to our house to say bye), and she replied with a laughing emoji. Then he told her that they were going to be bathing nude soon. She is known for flirting (and possibly even sleeping with) married men, but I've never for a moment thought my dad could do something so awful. He has always pretended to not like her very much.

I felt my stomach drop, and now we are together till tomorrow and I can't even look at him I just want to cry. I haven't told anyone, I don't know what to do. Do I tell my brother first? Do I talk to my aunt, my mom's sister who is a therapist and who we are very close to?

I almost wish I didn't read that message, I feel like I'm going to be sick.

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My boyfriend is not an action taker

I (26F) wanted to ask for your advice on how I can help my (28M)partner be an action-taker. We’ve been together for 6 yrs now and I’m only now noticing how he’s a bit slackish or yet, weakhearted?

He doesn’t really work. He has a job in sales so he earns from commissions. But he has been inactive since last year so I know he’s just living on minimal allowance. He would have clients referred to him by friends and families and he would present to them, but he’ll make no follow through at all. Whenever I ask him about it he just says ‘I will’. But then after 2/3 months, no follow up still. I know timing is important in sales so I don’t really get why he’s slacking off.

He wants to put up a small business but expects me to help him start it up. It’s like he expects me to draw the road map for him even though it’s his “passion project”. He says because I’m more organized and stuff. I don’t mind helping him but I’m a very busy person and he knows that too. I love what I do and it pays me very well so I’m really focused on me.

He has all these ideas about business, his sales job, etc but he doesn’t take action at all. It’s all ideas. Sometimes I feel like he’s weak hearted. He often overthinks and doubts himself although I always reassure him otherwise. I feel like part of it is because he never had a corporate job. The usual 9-5, reporting to the boss job. In corporate, even if you don’t want to do it, you have to right? Been there.

He’s a bit sheltered and I’m worried if this doesn’t change it might affect our future. We’re already discussing about marriage and I want a partner that is sure with himself. Also if he doesn’t take action now, how can he provide for his half in our future?

Appreciate any advice. Thanks!

Tl;dr my boyfriend is not an action taker and I’m worried he’s not earning enough for our future

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Relationship issues

My girlfriend (19F) and I (18M) are approaching our 2 year’s anniversary on June 15th. I really love her and would do anything for her, but the way she is mentally makes me exhausted.

She’s not capable to do stuff independently, she always needs guidance.

She gets easily offended/emotional by the littlest things.

She doesn’t use her common sense at times.

Whenever I am guiding her she doesn’t take it seriously, making me in need to pressure her to do it.

She can be slow; realises things very late.

At the moment I am tired of being her servant. I believe in self-improvement, which she ideally can, but is held back by her comfortable mentality. At this point I don’t know what to say to her, maybe someone here can give me guidance on how to make her more up and going.

TL:DR I want my girlfriend to be more up and going/independent, because she is being held back by her comfortable mentality

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I (20f) have a crush on my manager (20's?m)

Now, I'm not sure how old he is, but I suspect he's maybe mid twenties. I have quite a few managers, two which are horrible and creepy old men, one nice lady, and finally my crush. He's assistant manager. We don't work together super often, but when we do, it makes my day. He's the kindest person there. Instead of scoffing or rolling his eyes at me like all the others, he patiently teaches me everything while throwing in some silliness. He's encouraging and so sweet.

I was passing him something one day, and our hands touched. I felt that zap of electricity you get from touching someone you like. I find myself thinking about what he's doing on my days off, wondering what he thinks of me, always looking at the schedule to see if we are put together.

But now I'm afraid he will sense my liking towards him and become uncomfortable. Or what if he thinks I'm weird for it, and he stops being so nice and friendly? I've never had a crush on a superior before. I'm embarrassed and not sure how to act with him anymore. I forgot how to be normal.

TLDR; I have a crush on my manager and I don't know what to do about it.

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Why would this guy [35 M] want to know my [35 F] business?

This guy has a girlfriend *he and i did actually sleep together once while he's been in the relationship* five months ago when I asked if I could massage him. (I wasn't implying anything sexual I've actually gone to school for Massage Therapy) He told me he would love to but that he doesn't think it's a good idea. And that he's trying to be a good boy. I guess saying he doesn't want to cheat. So I started talking to another guy and when he saw me talking to the other guy. He was trying to get my attention. When he saw me talking to the other guy the first time. He walked by us saying he liked my scarf. The second time he saw us talking he walked over to where we were and started talking.

I don't get why he was trying to be in my business when he has a girlfriend.

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**TL;DR;**

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Husband (35M) refuses to budget, am I (27F) crazy?

My husband (35M) makes a very good income, very comfortably covers our private health insurance (I live in a country where that’s an extra cost you can choose above the national care), our very nice spacious house and garden and some extra things every month. Extra expenses involve gym, clothes for our small children, donations to various organisation. I (27F) also make a few extra thousand a month and use it for my dinners out with friends, sporadic holidays with friends, our cleaning lady at home and a babysitter for when I need a rest.

However, we have twice now run out of money at the end of every month. Or rather, he has. If I am spending a lot, I’ll just budget the rest of the month and eat more cheaply or wait a month for my new jacket or whatever. Husband just doesn’t understand this concept. He spends about $300 monthly on Ubers. Another $300 on fizzy drinks he likes, maybe $1000 on eating out, ordering in. If I suggest cutting down he just ignores it and continues.

He doesn’t deprive us of anything, he pays for our food and gives me extra cash if I’m ever lacking for the month. I have no problem cutting down my things when needed. The problem is, if we ever need extra money he would have to cash out shares that are not ready yet. In the Event that happens, what then? He has no contingency plan and I honestly find it fucking weird.

Help! Am I just too cautious? We do live somewhere where we cannot really get a large unexpected bill for something but regardless it makes me uneasy.

*English not my first language sorry.

TLDR: husband won’t make any kind of concessions or budget when he overspends and I am uneasy about it.

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* This article was originally published here

Am i being crazy or is this a normal relationship thing?

My partner (26M) and I (26F) have a long history - we have been together since early high school. I am genuinely obsessed with this guy, I love him more as the years go on. I obviously cant speak for him, but he is obviously hanging around for a reason… must love me too, haha. Weird for me to say that, given I have spent most of the time being needy for constant reassurance (have been working on this).

Anyway, we have been through, overcome, swept under the rug, fought through (basically every scenario) A LOT of different things. So my concern today isnt a “do we break up or do we not” situation, more just a plea for outside perspectives!

We have a unique dynamic, my partner is severely un-empathetic and I am extremely (often debilitating’ly) empathetic - we are a good balance when it comes to situations outside our relationship, but as you can imagine, often causes us some conflicts when it comes to communication inside our relationship, lol.

We recently had a huge, almost relationship breaking, breakdown - mainly because we were growing apart and I wasnt included in a big part of his life. I actually refer to this as death week, because I honestly have never felt that numb, empty, physically sick, broken, in my life. But death week ended up bringing us closer together - way better than we were before. We acknowledge it needed to happen.

Its been a few months now and something has just come up that I feel my kind of crazy, unstable self coming back and I dont know how to do the mind voodoo witch business (AKA just normal mental health lol) to keep it at bay… haha.

I have been getting closer with his friends and I’m now quite good friends with the only girl in the group, and I have been out with the whole group a few times now - all going well!

Tonight my partner brought up something he had been thinking about, basically just touching on the topic that sometimes there will be times where he wants to go out with his friends and that maybe I’m (me) not going to go to everything (I am butchering the delivery here, he really did say it in a healthy way.)

Basically this has my mind racing and spiralling a bit (please dont roast me about being toxic, I am working so hard on this in so many different ways).

I guess I am spiralling because to me, for him to explicitly say this means there are scenarios that he doesnt want me to be around / doesnt want to be with me.

When I express a bit of apprehension, he says “isnt it normal for couples to not do every single thing together” and I get it! I do. I mean… I understand the concept. I know this is a thing for people/couples - I am just really struggling with it because I have never thought “oh I want to go out without you”.

Thoughts? I know I will be in the wrong, I have been working excruciatingly hard on fixing a lot of the toxic characteristics that I had - I am still struggling through a lot, but the key word here is through, I’m loving and appreciating myself for every little better I do.

Additionally, a situation has just come up that I will be having to house sit for a month, but he doesnt want to come and stay with me. To me, this is huge red flags. That being said I know for a fact that he would come if I specifically said it would really hurt me if you didnt want to stay with me - but when I consider doing this, I feel controlling and manipulative.

How do you find the middle ground? Communicating your feelings but not being a toxic partner?

Anxious yet excited… here we goooo.

xx

TL;DR my partner says its normal to not want to do everything together

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* This article was originally published here

My 6 years old long friendship is starting to drain me out

TL;DR: The friendship I have with two friends is really getting boring and stressful. They always talk about the same things and don't really care about me. What can I do?

I am a 20F that has been close friends with two other girls of my same age since highschool. In highschool, we had two more other friends, which, for other reasons, happened to leave our group. I always found myself enjoying the time with my two close friends but, lately, I feel like something has changed. It has already been two years since the end of highschool, but everytime we go out they are still talking behind the back of the two other girls, or other people. Literally everytime. It obviously getting boring, but they always talk about the same things. I always wonder "Aren't y'all tired of it??" Moreover, they always talk about the same subjects, talk behind other people's backs or brag about money. One of the girls even made comments and judged the relationship I have with my boyfriend and told me how I should "manage" the relationship. I told them stories about a really bad experience I had at work (a worker touched me) but they answered "you should have done this..." "you should have done that...", when obviously I was too scared to react. When I tell them about my small successfull moments in life, they seem not to care. When I ask them to hang out, they are always busy. They don't even have a free afternoon to eat an icecream, just once in a week, but they have time for their boyfriends. I feel like they are stuck in a middle school mentality, or i'm either too old mentally. The only thing I know is that our friendship is really starting to drain me out, but I don't know how to take a distance from them, since they are always texting. What should I do?

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* This article was originally published here

I recently asked my ex (F22) to get back together, she rejected me before sleeping with someone else and then asking for me (M23) back. I don’t know what to do.

I recently asked my ex if she wanted to get back together after spending a few months getting closer again after a few months apart ( we dated for 3 years) , to which she said she didn’t feel the same but she still loved me and wanted me in her life as a friend.

It hurt but I ultimately accepted it and decided it was too hard to be her friend so I focused on moving on with life.

Fast forward a month and she reaches out to me, saying how much she misses me and wants to talk things through, and also tells me she’s slept with another guy while we weren’t talking. I don’t have an issue with either of us sleeping with other people when we aren’t together and while we had a few months apart we both did sleep with other people, but the person she slept with was someone she had previously told me she wouldn’t sleep with for personal factors, and that ultimately they just had sex because they wanted to and it wasn’t anything nothing more because he’s madly in love with another girl. But I don’t understand why she would deny a relationship, sleep with him and then ask to rekindle things.

I can’t tell if I’m overthinking or if I was just an option and she doesn’t have any respect for me. Please help me.

TL:DR; Ex rejected me, slept with someone else and asked for me back.

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* This article was originally published here

My (29F) partner (25M) lied about his connection to some random women on Instagram

Hello! Me and my partner met at Instagram around 1,5 years ago. Long story short we fell in love and are now living together. However his instagram activity is making me feel very insecure and hurt and I would like to hear advice how to proceed forward.

He seemed to be following several attractive women (normal everyday women with max 1000 followers) from around the globe who share few same interest as him and I brushed it off thinking that he must have met them during travelling or so. Around six months ago I got curious about the women and asked him where does he know them (he openly talked about his friends and instagram profiles but alway avoided talking about the women). He got kind of apologetic and said he would unfollow the ones he followed during his single era. Then he said rest of the women she knows from gigs and parties and I accepted that. Few months ago I noticed he followed some new ones from other side of the planet and I got suspicious. Fast forward to this weekend I decided to confront him again and turns out he lied to me; he actually knew most of the women only from instagram. However he made me believe he has not messaged them. At that point I was having hard time trusting his words so I asked if it would be ok for me to check his instagram DM's and he let me take a look. Well, turns out he was lying again. He had long chat histories with the women and even messaged one of the woman he followed only few months ago. He had even suggested video calls with one of the ladies. I didn't scroll too much and not all of them since I got so hurt about him lying. Sure now that I think back, they were not sexting or anything, just friendly chatting. However the lying and trying to hide the connection to the women is what is so hurtful to me. He said he lied about them because he was worried I would get my feelings hurt. And I cannot understand why would he do actions that he feels that would hurt me and he needs to hide the actions from me. I would be completely fine with him having online friends if he would openly talk about them but he chose to lie on top of a lie about them. That's why it's very hard for me to believe that he just wanted to be friends with cool people with similar interests (all the women in this case were young, good looking bodies, cute faces. Yes it seemed like his type in women which I also fit into. He said he followed themfor their art etc. but several of them had only revealing, pretty selfies and general life pictures. And he was mostly liking the face selfies and revealing bodyshot pictures. He said it is just a coincidence that he is not following any unattractive people).

I try hard to understand his point of view. We come from completely different cultures and in his cultures it is worse thing to hurt someones feelings than speak the truth. In my culture it's seen as very negative to avoid telling the truth, and people are brutally honest even if it hurts feelings. He says the women know about me, and it would be fun to party together if they ever come to our country and expressed to some of the women it would be nice to visit their cities someday. He is also very friendly and cute guy, and easily gets attention of the women he likes. I guess I'm afraid he was using the random women for boosting his ego because before he has been kind of bragging about how much girls numbers he would get in the past etc..

Anyway, now we are lost how to proceed. I obviously feel hurt and like trust issues are forming and he also feels hurt and tired. How could we build better communication and intimacy between eachother? I wish he could feel open and safe enough to talk with me about anything, and wouldn't need to feel like he needs to hide something from me.

TLDR; partner following random, regural attractive women from around the globe and I recently found out he was lying about who they are and what kind of connection he has to them

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* This article was originally published here

My friends don’t like me but I have no one else and I don’t know what to do

My friends don’t like me but I have no one else and I don’t know what to do

I’m a 17 y/o male, I have a group of around 6-7 friends including myself but I don’t really feel like I’m friends with them, including my actual closest friend who I have known for over 8 years. For a bit of backstory, I started making music around July/August last year under the name Icenttori, because I didn’t want people to really find it. From then I was promoting it on TikTok and I was gradually getting more views on there, until one of my vids got around 40k views and a bunch of kids at school found it, which I was fine with because at that point because I thought my music had improved a lot by then. However, since people found it, people have been kinda clowning me for it, and I think my friends don’t like being associated with me anymore. I no longer get invited to things, I can’t talk without getting interrupted or anyone listening, they talk badly about me when they think I’m not there, and it’s kinda made my life miserable. And one of the things that hurts the worst is my closest friend acts like he’s friends with me when it’s just me and him, but around others he acts like we aren’t friends. I’m not really sure what to do because I have no one else, and I would really appreciate some advice.

TLDR; people at school clown me for making music, and I now friends don’t like me because of it

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* This article was originally published here

I’m (20sM) in a relationship with someone (20sF) that none of our parents or friends think we should be in

We met in college, we’re both in our early 20s. We’ve been dating for about a year. Things started out like any relationship does with a nice honeymoon period. After that nice month and a half, things just started going downhill so quickly.

Since then, we have these periods where we fight with one another in these massive blowouts a few times a week, to then having a pretty good week or even a pretty good month. The cycle always seems to reset itself. Despite us having a really good month together, we’ve been fighting nonstop over various issues for the past 3 days.

We admittedly both have terrible communication skills in our own ways which only amplifies the intensity of our fights. We are also both in therapy with the topic of our arguments being discussed on both ends, with myself personally trying to use it as an approach to handling conflicts in a healthier way in general.

We do love each other but it seems like we can’t help but be at each other’s throats all the time. We’ve shared so many happy moments together and I don’t take those for granted.

All of our parents have caught on to the pattern. They all see us when we bicker and fight so frequently. My parents, for one, think that I should leave her as they don’t think we are compatible. I can only imagine her parents think the same after seeing the hell we put each other through. The same can be said about our friends. Both of our circles of friends generally don’t think our relationship is healthy for either of us.

10 months of this relationship have been the exact same in terms of the amount of horrible fights we have that literally last for hours at a time. I’m not sure which hurts more, the idea of leaving her or staying with her. Despite the happiness she gives me it just pains me to keep going through all of this over and over again. Are there any other things that could be worked on? I’m not sure what else to try.

tl;dr We fight a lot but still love each other, practically everyone in our lives is telling us to leave the other. I’m not sure what else to try to make things better between us.

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* This article was originally published here

Am I in the wrong to be upset?

I (F24) have been with my boyfriend (M23) for a year now and his family acts like I do not exist. I have two children, have been with him for a year and his family still refers to me by his “girlfriend”. no name, ever. When I have tried to get us to visit so I can try to mingle with the family there’s always a reason from his parents for us not to go.

They have categorized me with past girlfriends that were incredibly toxic, which these were all high school girlfriends who managed to happily be invited into the family.

Right after telling me they won’t mistreat me like my ex husband and others have. However they do NOT know me enough to make such a judgement call. All I ask is these people learn my name and maybe act like I am someone who is seriously involved with their son.

A “fresh start” has been offered and I agreed to said fresh start however it isn’t sitting right with me. I can’t for the life of me wrap my head around why a fresh start is required when I have done nothing that needs a fresh start. They’re the ones who have been disrespectful to me as a human being, as their sons partner.

Family is important to me and I love my boyfriend, a lot. But I can’t see myself with a partner who’s family is so disrespectful and insignificant to our relationship.

My boyfriend and his mother have basically blamed this on the fact that I am “going through alot” right now and I think that, that is incredibly unfair. No amount of anything else I am going through has to feel with the fact they make me feel like dirt on the bottom of their shoes.

Am I overreacting ? All I know is how I feel I have felt sick to my stomach for 24 hours now. And I don’t know what to do.

TL;DR - Have been with boyfriend for one year, his family acts as though I don’t exist, refer to me as “girlfriend” instead of my name. Lacking the basic respect for a human being. Am I wrong to be upset ?

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* This article was originally published here

Giving closure.

Hi guys.

I, (23m), just ended things with my gf, (24f), after 4 years. To cut a long story short, I had been thinking about breaking up for about a year. I just always knew we weren't compatible on a lot of levels. She was a lot more in love with me than I was, including right up to the end.

This was my first break up and admittedly I was very immature in the lead up to it. I told her I needed to work on the relationship about a month before yet I just got really distant and eventually ended it.

The reasons I told her for the split was that I didn't love her anymore and that I don't know why but the feelings just left. I care about her more than anyone I ever have, and I want to make sure this breakup goes well for her. She needs to get some of her stuff from mine at some stage, so is there anything I can do to give her more closure, or is it just a fact that closure or not its going to hurt the same?

TL;DR: I want to give my ex more closure following a sudden breakup.

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* This article was originally published here

My fiancé wants to take a break to have sex with other girls

TL;DR My fiancé wants to take a break to have sex with other girls. He said he’s bored of our sex

My fiancé (27y) and I (22y) have been together for 2 years. We got engaged 4 months ago. For the first 1.5 years, our relationship was great and we had the best sexual chemistry. He recently told me that he would like to take a break for a month because he doesn’t feel as sexually attracted to me as he used to. He told me he loves me deeply but he is getting bored of our sex. He thinks that I’m a good girl and will make a great wife. But he feels guiltily about having strong sexual urges for other girls. He told me the “spark” isn’t there anymore. He’s been thinking about this for months and never really voiced it to me. It’s only been two days since we started our break and he already went on a date with another girl yesterday. He is planning to sleep with at least 3 girls during our break.

He had told his family about our situation and his mum asked me to come over today for a talk. I spoke to his mum and his siblings and they were all on my side. They’re very supportive and told me that I deserve to be treated better. Everyone in his family will be try to talk him out of sleeping with other girls and taking this break. They are all very mad at him. They know he still has feelings for me but think he has commitment issues. They said he is known to never commit to a girl but they thought he changed when he met me. For the first time in his life he told them that he sees himself settling down with a girl.

I feel very stuck. I don’t know what to do. Everyone is saying that they think he will realise this is a mistake and will return to me. I love him so much and I want us to work things out. But I know I deserve to be treated so much better than this.

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* This article was originally published here

What are some healthy boundaries for porn?

I’m a 24F married to 25M. If that matters. Been together 7 years married 1 year

What are the boundaries that you have that you expect from your partner when in comes to porn or looking at profiles on social media? Even if it is just fantasy, and it makes me super uncomfortable and it feels like a betrayal is that enough reason to make it a boundary?

I came across my husbands porn on his computer when I was going to order something online. I turned it on and there it was on the screen. 3 different pages of porn. I’m cool with porn in general. But the pages he was looking at made me feel uncomfortable. Maybe I need to reassess what is a good boundary to have. I’m also pregnant and hormonal, but he hasnt initiated sex with me for years. He said it’s because I kept pushing him away when he asked years ago. It’s all because we did it dry and it would hurt and its my first and only relationship so I didn’t say anything. I’ve been trying to solve this issue by wearing lingerie and actually encouraging him to ask for sex again. My first trimester of pregnancy made me sick all day so there was no way it was possible. Then he said that’s why he didn’t initiate sex because I was too sick. So he’s been watching porn and of course I knew that. So I’ve communicated with him that I want him to be sexual with me and initiate sex. He doesn’t even make out with me. We’ve had a conversations about it already but his argument is it’s just a fantasy and he doesn’t need to watch porn if we were actually having sex.

Yes this is also making me insecure. My body has changed so much since I got pregnant. I told him I want to feel wanted which I haven’t self in a long time. He’s also stated that it’s just porn and i should trust him. And I if I don’t trust him it’s my problem. Am I being crazy? Please ask questions if im leaving anything out. I’m not the best storyteller!

Tl;dr need advice on healthy boundaries

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3 months on from breakup and I’m still feeling low

I (27M) broke up with my gf (27F) just over 3 months ago after a very patchy few months and lots of ups and downs in our 1 year relationship. We had been friends for over 6 years prior.

Whilst I know why I ended the relationship, I struggle even now to get her memories out of my mind. There hasn’t been a day when I haven’t felt low because of this, and i think back to why my perfect story had to end. I was very close to proposing to her and she was excited about this.

I’ve tried lots of things to get my mind off of her - getting busy with work, a trip abroad, exercise etc, but eventually I fall back into the pit of those memories we had together.

There has been no contact since which has probably helped, but I don’t know what else to do and not let every little thing trigger me day to day. Any advice and support would be appreciated.

Tl;dr - broke up with gf 3 months ago, still struggling to get over her.

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I (35M) am unhappy in my 5 year marriage to my partner (43M) but afraid for him and his stability if I leave

So there's a lot going on behind that description. We are low income folks, we live with my mother so that all 3 of us can benefit from the presence of 3 incomes... or rather, that's how it started out. I've got my own fun basket of mental health issues that I maintain medication for and occasionally try to juggle therapy for while I wait to get insurance.

I'm also an alcoholic (started as a way to self medicate), but I'm trying to recover or at least not be a total idiot. I don't want it in my life anymore. My partner, on the other hand... I've threatened, I've cajoled, I've issued ultimatums. Several years ago I started a consistent campaign to get him to pursue any kind of therapy - there was a queer friendly clinic close by, but you needed to hop on the waiting list - and his alcoholism was apparent at the start. I didn't mind when our relationship started though because I was right there with him, that's the place I was at and it seemed like a good match. I'm not at that place anymore. Bless my mother for putting up with our bullsh*t when we moved in with her, but babysitting alcoholics was old hat - runs in my family. I think she was just happy she could keep an eye on my chaotic, broken mess of a life.

There's other issues with him not liking me pursuing my own hobbies (which I do in order to not drink) instead of sitting on my butt and watching movies or whatever with him. His main modes are playing games, or consuming media right now. While drinking. Always the damn drinking. If he has a day off, a 12 pack is going to be coming home. I've mentioned AA more times than I can count, but the religiosity makes that almost a no go. He was raised Mormon, you can guess how well that went over with the gay and all. He hates religion, passionately. Other issues with him not cleaning, mostly because of being drunk. It all usually circles back around to the alcohol.

He's codependent to me, in a disturbing amount. I think I'm probably on some pedestal, or the image he's in love with is the alcoholic he proposed to 5 years ago. I'm responsible for finances, I do the important stuff, I drag this relationship around by the nose. As I'm getting older I'm becoming concerned about how I will handle things like a real career, or retirement. I know what I want to learn and go back to school for... he has no aspirations, nothing. I don't have a partner right now, I'm taking care of an adult child. I love him, deeply. There is a kind and genuine person, under the alcohol, but he's also deeply unstable and full of self loathing. He's attempted suicide before(not related to any of this) and it's part of why I've continued to try for so long.

I want to leave this relationship, I'm deeply unhappy and angry almost all the time, and it's keeping me near a substance I can't control myself around. But I'm afraid for him and I know he won't seek help. How many years of someone refusing to help themselves is enough for you to leave an alcoholic, especially if it is a danger to you? What if it's a legitimate concern that this person could self harm?

​

TL;DR - My husband and I are alcoholics. I'm trying to recover, but he has no interest. I've tried multiple time to get him to try therapy or AA, and he's refused, so now I want to divorce/leave him but I'm concerned for his well being because he may self harm.

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* This article was originally published here

I think my [f20] bf [m20] isn't interested in me anymore

Quick note: sorry for any spelling mistakes or formating mistakes, I'm on mobile so it's a little funky.

TLDR; My [20f] boyfriend [20m] of 3 years doesn't initiate anything romantic/sexual/etc of any sort with me and when I bring it up says he'll change then doesn't. Worried he might not be interested in me?

I [20F] have been with my boyfriend [20M] for 3 years. In those 3 years we have broken up twice for short amounts of time (both initiated by him, as was getting back together the first time).

When he and I first got together everything was absolutely wonderful. We met through a friend and clicked instantly and the beginning of our relationship was amazing. We both had a lot of fun, our sex drives were high, we couldn't keep our hands off eachother, etc.

A little bit of backstory; I grew up in a very rough household and haven't lived with my parents for 3 or so years. I've lived with my bf and his family for almost a year I believe. I know I have some issues with insecurity and also probably depression. My bf has been there for me through a LOT and I will always be thankful for that.

I think maybe us living together ruined something? Or maybe not since before we even lived together he would make comments about finding me somewhat unappealing.

I understand that people have different love languages, but it doesn't seem like he has one at all. For the past 2 or so years of our relationship things have slowly grinded to a halt. We don't hold hands, if I try to hug him he just awkwardly stands there with his arms at his sides (this happens whether I ask before I do it or not), we don't kiss, we don't snuggle/cuddle unless it's bedtime and I beg for it, he doesn't compliment me (ever. The last time he complimented me was probably literally before we started dating), he doesn't like giving/recieving gifts, he doesn't even say my name anymore unless he's upset with me, and he only says I love you if I'm preforming oral or I say it before I leave for work. I've tried to bring up going on dates or finding fun things to do but he brushes them off and tells me he isn't interested in those things and doesn't want to go on dates (like.. ever). Anytime I bring up doing like cutesy couple-y things he tells me he doesn't like doing that "dumb couple shit" (that includes literally just taking like selfies together).

We basically never have sex except for me pleasuring him. He says he doesn't like preforming oral or using his fingers, he doesn't like doing foreplay, he doesn't like having sex unless it's me giving him oral. If we do have sex he struggles to get and stay hard at first, there's no foreplay, he covers any part of me that has exposed skin except for my face and he looks away from me the entire time. We go until he's satisfied and then we stop no matter if I've finished or not. At this point I feel more like a living sex doll that cleans then a girlfriend.

I used to want to marry this man and have a family with him, now when I think about it I feel uncertain and sad. I do love him and I don't want things to end but I've talked to him about all of this and how it hurts me in several ways several times and he says he'll change but never does. The only thing he's gotten better at is saying I love you back to me. I don't know what to do honestly.

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* This article was originally published here

Mom avoids going to therapy after my dad passing away

TLDR: Mom avoids her feelings about my dad's dead and refuses to go to therapy. She vents a lot to me and I am getting tired and drained, I do not know what to do to convince her that therapy is her best option.

My (23F) mom (52) is avoiding therapy as much as possible. My dad died on early 2021, so it is still recent; he got covid and died within a week, so it was quite sudden.

My parents hated each other. They were together for 30 years though, but I grew up with them being toxic with each other. They would sabotage themselves and talk behind their backs a lot... sure, they had still some affection but I think they kept being together just because they were used to the relationship.

That said, my mother still cried a lot when dad died. She blames herself for his dead too, just because she did not force him to get hospitalized (he did not want to, was scared of hospitals). I tell her that she thought it was best for him and he died in his house, next to his wife.

Months passed and as today, she is much better. She admitted that after dad died, she has been much less stressed and has realized how abusive they were to each other over the years. However, she does not want to go to therapy... she is a workaholic and avoids her feelings with work. She still blames herself for my dad's dead and still holds a grudge against him after everything he did to her.

Mom vents a lot to me. I am her youngest daughter, and she often says that I am her favorite. I do not mind listening to her, but it has become tiring and is everything she talks about. She does not care much about my personal life as well, if I try to change de subject, she will turn it and talk about her and what happened with my dad again. I had told her that this makes me uncomfortable because I do not know what to reply and I also do not like her talking bad about my dad (she mentions all the bad things he did to her during their relationship). She says that she will stop but it has yet to happen.

If I try to bring therapy to the conversation, she says that she is too busy working. I tell her that a therapist is best suited to listen to her and navigate her feelings, but she still refuses. She says that she is afraid of her feelings and she cannot have a breakdown now because it will distract her from working. Our family is well-off and just her taking a few days off would not affect us, since she is the owner of her business.

It is not like my mother does not believe in therapy. She paid for mine without hesitation and saw how much I changed after it... but she still does not want to. Mom has told me that it makes her angry to keep bringing it up, because it makes her feel that I am forcing her to do it. I do not know what to do, I want her to actually reflect on what happened instead of just venting.

She does not have much friends due to her working a lot, so she does not have anyone else to talk about it. Sometimes I feel she is manipulating me to listen to her because whenever I tell her that I am uncomfortable she says "You are the only one I trust with this! Your sisters do not understand and your aunts just judge me".

Is there a way to solve this little by little? I think if she is able to digest her feelings more, she will be willing to go to therapy. I am thinking of singing her to some dancing classes or any kind of hobby, so she will spend less time working.

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* This article was originally published here

Complete loss of attraction to him

Was my loss of attraction expected given the way he was acting?

Sudden and inexplicable loss of attraction to my partner

When I (27 F) met my boyfriend, I thought I was so looking, kind and charming and he was the most attractive man I’ve ever seen. Girls would turn heads at him. He would be so affectionate and kind with me and convos were amazing, loads in common

But during the relationship, over time, he stopped putting effort in, talked about himself all the time. Criticised me for tiny things a lot. Had crazy career ideas every week that never became anything. He hated his job and had barely any money to live off. My friends said he was annoying because he always seemed to want to ‘win’ the conversation. Sometimes I was worried what random rambling rubbish would come out his mouth next. He didn’t care for me anymore, everything was about him.

I think he became depressed and I was supportive and encouraging, but he never left the house, ate unhealthy, but on a load of weight, never worked out and just played games all the time. He stopped putting on deodorant or cleaning his teeth. He wasn’t afraid to burp around me a lot and did this horrible noise all the time when he cleared his throat. He kinda started to look like a completely different guy.

We never did anything out and about. I always wanted to go out for dinner and drinks but he always wanted to just eat kfc in bed in front of the tv instead. I felt so cut off from the world, there was so much fun places we could have gone and nice places to eat.

I even asked him if we could go away on a short city break in Europe. He said ‘you’re putting too much pressure on me’ when I only asked once.. But then he still booked a trip away to Barcelona with his friend the next week.

I completely lost all attraction to him, I felt completely asexual. Thought I was depressed or something as my whole libido disappeared.

Was about to end the relationship and he did it first.. he told me he was with me because he was lonely, which really upset me

tldr Was my loss of attraction expected given the way he was acting?

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* This article was originally published here

Dating History Austin Butler's Love Life 2022: A Breakdown of His Relationships Before and After Vanessa Hudgen - pelhamplus.com

Dating History Austin Butler's Love Life 2022: A Breakdown of His Relationships Before and After Vanessa Hudgen  pelhamplus.com

* This article was originally published here

He’s friends with his toxic ex

I (25F) had been seeing someone (30M) for the past few months and it had been padding along cuz he was really hot and cold with me. Recently I had enough and broke it off with him but the thing that really ended it was when I caught him texting his ex while we were hanging out. This was someone who he’d been with for 5 years of his life and who really affected him mentally, someone he almost proposed to (ring and all) three or four times. I understand the significance of her to him but I had also got out of a relationship with someone really toxic, difference is I really want nothing to do with my ex.

So my question is: why would you remain in contact/friends with a really toxic ex?

Tldr: I broke it off with someone seeing him text his toxic ex and now am wondering why people would be friends with their horrible exes.

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My (22M) GF (21F) is telling me she will break up if I go see my parents for summer break.

I live away (10 hours) from my parents . I see them 5-6 times/year and that is: 2 weeks for xmas, 2 weeks for easter and few and between days during the year. I also see them 7 weeks for summer break.

I will go to see them this summer break, for 7 weeks. My GF is already VERY upset that I did book the tickets without telling her beforehand when do I leave. She is also very upset that 7 weeks is too much to be away from her - almost like a LDR.

Now, I wish I could invite her, but both our families are very bad financially, and our house is too small, we are 3 siblings, 2 of us will be sleeping in the same room.

She was in tears and was also angry saying that she might consider breaking up, not because she doesnt love me, but because she cant bear the time away. I know she does not mean it, but I am afraid she could cheat, out of resentment or impulsivity.

TL:DR : in the title. It is 7 weeks break.

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