Quick note: sorry for any spelling mistakes or formating mistakes, I'm on mobile so it's a little funky.
TLDR; My [20f] boyfriend [20m] of 3 years doesn't initiate anything romantic/sexual/etc of any sort with me and when I bring it up says he'll change then doesn't. Worried he might not be interested in me?
I [20F] have been with my boyfriend [20M] for 3 years. In those 3 years we have broken up twice for short amounts of time (both initiated by him, as was getting back together the first time).
When he and I first got together everything was absolutely wonderful. We met through a friend and clicked instantly and the beginning of our relationship was amazing. We both had a lot of fun, our sex drives were high, we couldn't keep our hands off eachother, etc.
A little bit of backstory; I grew up in a very rough household and haven't lived with my parents for 3 or so years. I've lived with my bf and his family for almost a year I believe. I know I have some issues with insecurity and also probably depression. My bf has been there for me through a LOT and I will always be thankful for that.
I think maybe us living together ruined something? Or maybe not since before we even lived together he would make comments about finding me somewhat unappealing.
I understand that people have different love languages, but it doesn't seem like he has one at all. For the past 2 or so years of our relationship things have slowly grinded to a halt. We don't hold hands, if I try to hug him he just awkwardly stands there with his arms at his sides (this happens whether I ask before I do it or not), we don't kiss, we don't snuggle/cuddle unless it's bedtime and I beg for it, he doesn't compliment me (ever. The last time he complimented me was probably literally before we started dating), he doesn't like giving/recieving gifts, he doesn't even say my name anymore unless he's upset with me, and he only says I love you if I'm preforming oral or I say it before I leave for work. I've tried to bring up going on dates or finding fun things to do but he brushes them off and tells me he isn't interested in those things and doesn't want to go on dates (like.. ever). Anytime I bring up doing like cutesy couple-y things he tells me he doesn't like doing that "dumb couple shit" (that includes literally just taking like selfies together).
We basically never have sex except for me pleasuring him. He says he doesn't like preforming oral or using his fingers, he doesn't like doing foreplay, he doesn't like having sex unless it's me giving him oral. If we do have sex he struggles to get and stay hard at first, there's no foreplay, he covers any part of me that has exposed skin except for my face and he looks away from me the entire time. We go until he's satisfied and then we stop no matter if I've finished or not. At this point I feel more like a living sex doll that cleans then a girlfriend.
I used to want to marry this man and have a family with him, now when I think about it I feel uncertain and sad. I do love him and I don't want things to end but I've talked to him about all of this and how it hurts me in several ways several times and he says he'll change but never does. The only thing he's gotten better at is saying I love you back to me. I don't know what to do honestly.
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