GF dated well known musicians before me. Worried I won't be enough for her!

TL;DR: I feel inadequate about my GF dating well known musicians in the past. Will I be enough? Any advice?

Hey, so I've (F, 40) met an amazing woman (36) who's smart, creative, funny and kind. She tells me how amazing I am all the time ...There's just one problem....

She's been pretty open about her past and working in the music industry she has dated a few musicians, some quite well known.

I can't get it out of my head. I've started to feel inadequate and wonder what she sees in me after dating some really cool people. I made the mistake of watching some videos of them on YouTube and now I feel even worse. I can't compare. I worry that once the initial excitement has worn off I won't be enough for her.

I know this is all me and nothing she's done wrong. it doesn't help that I used to be a musician myself but I was never successful amd haven't played for years so there's probably a bit of jealousy there. I'm aware I'm insane

Does anyone have any advice on how I can snap out of this? Should I tell her how I feel? Thanks 🙏🏻

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* This article was originally published here

Does my boyfriend want me sexually?

Tl;dr: He says he's attracted to me but never initiates sex. I'm confused.

Me: 26f Him: 33m Generally I would say yes. He always calls me beautiful. He always tries to watch when I'm changing clothes. When we have sex he always comes. Sometimes he says he enjoyed it after sex. But I just can't get my head around why he never initiates. We've been together for almost four month and he's initiated like maybe a total of five times?

So I was thinking he just has a lower libido than me. He once told me he doesn't want to have sex every day. But he also told me that before we were together he masturbated at least once a day. So now I'm confused. Is the sex just bad? :( But he also told me, he had the same problem with his last girlfriend, that she wanted sex more often than him. I don't get it.

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Still lover other [30M] and [30F] after 7 years. Mental health issues so we parted ways. Any idea how to fix it?

break up reason My view - I was suffering from high levels of stress from a job. It impacted the relationship. I stopped wanted to go out, felt scared, didn’t want to leave the house or have sex. I lost so much weight that no clothes I had would fit. I have quit the toxic job and I am In counselling.

Her view - she thought I lost interest in her. She felt hurt by this. She was trying to help me but my mental health wasn’t great and I didn’t listen to her.

post break up She came a lot to our old flat. To take her items and also help me pack up and move to my new flat. We spoke a lot about the relationship

• she said three times after we broken up to early. Was there another way to make you realise the issues
• she wants me in her life. The last day before moving she cried as she thought it will be the last time she saw me each time she came she stayed a while. Hugging me not wanting to leave. The last day she said “I know I have to go but my body wants to stay. I said I am getting help, but she said it will be too much in one go. To fix mental health and work on relationships
• she asked what changes will you do if we get back
• she said this is the best relationship she ever had.
• while packing she said I wish we didn’t have to do this many times

why she might not come back - she said she doesn’t want to give me false idea that we can get back together. Right now she can’t say as she is hurt and her defences are up. I’m reply I said I won’t chase you and leave it. She said “are you giving up so soon?” - she said she doesn’t want to jump back in while the route issues are there -she said she wants space to heal but I can call her if I ever need anything

Is there a chance I could try again with her. We are in limited contact to sort out joint bills, lease agreements etc.

Could after giving her space to heal, I could text her and maybe meet up or should I just give up. We both love each other but I’ve hurt her due to my mental health

Tl;dr can I fix our relationship, she thinks I didn’t love her and she got hurt

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Was I wrong for hanging out with ex despite gf's wishes?

I (25M) have a beautiful girlfriend whom I'll call Anna (22F), we've been together for over a year. I truly love Anna deeply and can envision a life with her, which is what I want to preface this with.

Around two months ago, I was out at a bar one weekend with some friends in downtown Seattle (where I live) where I unexpectedly saw my ex-girlfriend whom I'll call Zoe (25F). We got to talking, I had no ill intentions at this point, she was practically just an old friend whom I hadn't seen for like over five years (in the seven years since we broke up we'd only seen each other once, and not for long; at a mutual friend's funeral five years ago).

Some info on Zoe: we've both grown up in a town by the outskirts of Seattle. We were childhood friends, and began dating since we were 13. We were high-school sweethearts; Zoe was my first kiss, my first girlfriend, my first love- everything. When we went to college (I stayed in Seattle, she moved to Colorado for college) we broke up soon enough into our freshman years due to the long distance. We ended things amicably and on a good note, and haven't spoken since we bumped into each other at that bar.

After hanging out, we exchanged numbers and decided to keep in contact. Zoe and I have been texting regularly these past couple months, everything has been strictly platonic between us.

I have told Anna about this, and how she felt; she stated that she wasn't sure why I had to keep in contact with Zoe now, especially after all these years, but that she trusted me. And that she wouldn't like the idea of us hanging out alone.

Yesterday, it was the fifth year anniversary of the death of one of mine and Zoe's mutual friends, whom we'd known since high school. The friend's family and a bunch of our mutual friends and classmates gathered together in her honour, at her grave and then by the lake we used to hangout together; we all caught up and just talked about our memories of her. It was a nice and nostalgic but pretty emotional day.

After everyone left the lake by dark once it was time to go home, Zoe asked if I wanted to get a drink. I agreed, we went to a bar alone and did just that. Only that. Talked, caught up, and got a little drunk. For a fair bit of that time we were talking about the memories of our passed friend.

I got home late that night, around 2am, to my angry girlfriend. I'd only just realised I had three missed calls and a bunch of missed texts from her, since I had told her before I'd be home by around 10pm after the gathering by the lake. She asked where I'd been, that I was meant to be home ages ago; and I told her the truth: the gathering, and I went for drinks at a bar with Zoe and lost track of time and wasn't on my phone. Anna was furious, we had a massive fight and haven't spoken.

TL;DR Hung out alone with ex despite gf's request. Am I in the wrong? It was all platonic.

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I’m jealous of my wife for playing GTA RP with a romance story in it. How do I deal with it?

My wife and I (both 24) are both gamers and we play a variety of video games. Recently we came across a GTA RP server in which we both got “hired” as officers in the LSPD. Everything was fine, until she mentioned that she’s doing a kind of romance story with a guy from LSPD. As a person that did experience some really shit relationships in the past, I cannot get over a feeling of being kind of cheated on and it wrecks my head.

I cannot say that she’s not giving me attention, because she is, and seeing how this RP romance is getting into my head, she constantly talks that I’m the only one she loves, that she’s not going anywhere, and she’s mine.

The big issue I have with this is that in my mind, this scenario of romance roleplay lights up the same feelings of jealousy, sadness, heck, I could say I’m depressed because of it. I completely understand the concept of Role Play, and that she’s just playing a flirtatious character (related to a streamer that we both watch on Twitch).

I also play GTA RP but the concept of “going on a date” or even S*X RP for me is a really difficult area for me. I can talk to a girl in RP, but as soon as I’d see that they are thinking of getting a romance story role play with my character, I feel guilty, as if I was cheating on my wife. That’s why I keep this kind of stuff as far as possible. I’m chill with planning stories, heists, etc, but the romance aspect just scares me.

I’ve been really depressed since it started with the romance story, and I know that it’s completely irrational. I’ve stopped playing RP for this reason as well.

Another thing is that I work a standard 8am - 4PM/5PM jobs, so I do end up going to bed around 11PM, but it’s time when the most people are on RP and I’m feeling really shit, falling asleep by myself.

Is there anyone who’s had a similar experience, or who can open my eyes on the subject of not having to worry about rp stupid romance story? I really need it.

TL;DR My wife is playing a romance story in GTA RP and I’m jealous of it. What do I do?

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* This article was originally published here

Relationship Guru Esther Perel's 7 Ideas for Keeping Calm and Staying Inspired - Inc.

Relationship Guru Esther Perel's 7 Ideas for Keeping Calm and Staying Inspired  Inc.

* This article was originally published here

I (23F) am not sure I want to live with my boyfriend (24M) anymore after we’ve signed a lease

I (23F) just signed a lease with my boyfriend of 10 months (24M) to move to a new city together and am getting major cold feet. Background: I broke up with my ex of 2 years ~10 months ago at the advice of my current boyfriend and another friend, and almost immediately started dating my current boyfriend (I did not break up with my ex for my current boyfriend & had no feelings for him prior to the breakup). I am now realizing I likely got into this relationship to cope with the breakup and have just started grieving my ex, who I still feel very strongly for. I know I did several things wrong to both parties and am not looking for judgement, just advice. My current partner is relying on me financially for this move, and we’ve ended our lease at our current apartment and have also gotten jobs lined up. There would be no way for me to have a conversation about ending our relationship without significantly impacting him financially, which I would like to avoid doing — however, if I continue feeling like this, I don’t want to lead him on or stay in a relationship with him where we’re not on the same page because he doesn’t deserve that. I genuinely don’t know what to do that’s respectful to both him and myself. Any advice is appreciated.

TLDR; Planning a major move with my bf, only to start to feel like this relationship isn’t right for me at this time in life after plans have been made that will impact us financially.

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Hel regarding my "best" friend

We've known each other for six years now. She (22f) left her discord open where she talks with her situationship and I (23f) found out she badmouths me, saying things about me being ugly and trans, even though I didn't want her to out me like that to a stranger, and I was wondering how should I approach this whole thing, since in theory I shouldn't have seen all of that but at the same time I cant forget all of it.

Tldr; saw discord chat where I was being bad mouthed and I don't know how to approach this.

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My girlfriend (19F) cheated on me (18M) with her abusive ex (18M)

In November 2023, my girlfriend slept with her ex. This man is mentally and physically abusive to her. He would beat her while they were dating, and when they broke up, he would threaten to harm himself if she stopped talking to him. Sometime in November he pushed her to sleep with him, and she was scared to say no. I believe her fear because I know how this guy is. He is very manipulative. After this occurred, she cut him off shortly after. Since December 2023 I’ve noticed she’s been incredibly happy. Before this she was very depressed and had lots of mental problems, and our relationship suffered a lot at the time because of it. She’s been incredible these past months, we’ve had no problems, and her mental health has been significantly better. I only learned about what happened yesterday (April 2024). She proved to me that they weren’t in contact, showed that their last texts were from December, and that he’s blocked. I don’t know how to feel now, because on one hand I feel like she cheated. I feel sick thinking about what happened. On the other hand, this man is abusive and I know she was terrified of him. What do I do?

tl:dr her abusive ex threatened to hurt her if she didn’t sleep with him. She did, and cut him off shortly after. I only discovered this recently and don’t know how to feel

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I may of rushed into Marriage from a LDR

I apologize ahead of time for my writing skills and ranting.

I (32)M got married in December to my Wife (30F) and I just slept on the couch again. She's mad at me this time because my gluten allergy is very inconvenient for her when packing lunches for my work. A lot of little things set her off and it can ruin our day or week depending on how upset she is. I don't think she really loves me for me, but says she does and I'm struggling myself with the love. I've always felt I have sacrificed a lot more than her for this relationship. I feel unappreciated and hurt a lot. Which we've argued over before.

Our relationship started by matching on OkCupid back in Jan 2022. I was talking to a few women at the time irl, but I eventually found out she was from the Philippines. Her humble, hard working nature as a catholic school teacher inspired me. Yet, her mental instability at times scared me. Yet, she was a lot more sane than the usual girls that were around me. When I said I didn't want to talk to her anymore due to the distance and her mental state.(Mind you I only knew her for less than a month at this point) She threatened to kill herself and stalked me on my social medias when i blocked her. She never really dated before me and I thought maybe I was being too hard on her. I asked her out the same night like an idiot.

I was in a 7 year on and off relationship before this and tend to fall for controlling people like my parents were. I was raised by my mom to basically be the dad/caregiver of my severely autistic and brain damaged brother. Which leads me to care and serve those less fortunate than me. Even if it almost kills me or destroys my mental state. So I had to leave behind my brother and my ex to survive. Which leaving my brother behind haunts me and she can't really understand that.

Anyways, I visited her twice in May of 2022 and 2023. It was so beautiful there, and we had so much more fun in person than LDR. The first time seeing her and meeting her family almost brings tears to my eyes thinking about it because it was so unreal. I was on the other side of the planet with her and learning so much about a different culture. I proposed to her while island hopping because i felt pressured to be a man from my peers and that our love would grow more in time. We started our K1 visa in June 2022 and the soonest she could arrive was October 25th 2023. During the LDR parts there was a lot of jealousy issues from her end even though I was loyal throughout and she hated asking for money, but sometimes she would only have enough to eat rice once a day. I moved up in my job so I could afford to help her be happy and eventually fly her over. We almost broke up a couple times during the LDR period. I told her i may not be able to afford to come over May 2023 and she was really hurt. She began calling and yelling that I was a Weak Man for saying that and stopped talking to me for a few days. Of course we got back together and I worked overtime to fly over again.

Now, we've been fighting on and off since she arrived. She made me wait until marriage to have sex due to her being virgin. She would say we'd have sex on each visit and night of our marriage, but we never did. Not until a few weeks after our marriage. The sex became really good eventually, but i still felt alone in the relationship. Meanwhile my job was killing me, I'm the sole provider and she can't seem happy unless we're spending money. I really do care for her a lot, but our maturity levels are different. Despite her work, she acts childish which is something her dad warned me about. (For example, I asked her to grab some wires with her fingers through a tv stand hole. I walk away and come back. Shes using scissors to grip the wires. I ran over and stopped her...) Anyway, everyone has been happy for me and mention how beautiful/gorgeous she is. Yet, they don't know what happens behind closed doors. We do have great days playing games and shopping, but I feel stressed, depressed and had to get therapy to survive work and this marriage.

TL;DR: Rushed into Marriage with someone from the Philippines where the relationship has always been rocky for various reasons.

I feel like I wanted to achieve American dream too fast, and rushed the wife, the house and possibly kids in the future. Should we part ways, so I don't waste her years to have kids or is there something I can do to fix this?

Thank you for the help

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Does the man I'm dating have commitment issues? F24 and M27

Does he have commitment issues? M27 and F24

I'll give a brief timeline.

Met him 31st March 2024 at a Festival. He approached me and we started to talk. Stayed for 2 hours talking. exchanged numbers.

He called the following day and we arranged our first date on for Thursday 4th April. Went out to dinner and had a great time.

Called me Saturday 6th April and asked to go out with me that day. Date lasted 12 hours had the most amazing time.

Monday 8th April rocks up at my work just to say hello. We also went out on a date that evening and had a fantastic time.

Saw each other again on Wednesday 10th April. Had a fantastic time. Super affectionate and complimentary. And told me he really really likes me about 10 times.

Saw each other again on Thursday 11th April and again another fantastic time. Super affectionate and even said he can't wait to marry me.

Called me Saturday 13th April in the morning sounded a little different and said he hasn't really spent anytime with his family this week and needs to spend time with them.

Called me Sunday night on the 14th April and asked if he could see me. I had visitors over so told him I couldn't.

Monday 15th April called and asked if he could see me after work. I said ok. He was pretty distant. and said we will see each other sometime this week.

I could sense a change in behaviour. He was no longer planning dates but instead would want to meet me on a whim and expect me to be available.

He asked to see me again on Wednesday 17th April after work. We met up and I had a talk with him about where this relationship was going. I told him what my expectations are among those being that if he wanted to pursue this relationship I would like him to plan proper dates that included the weekend. He was very receptive and we actually discussed what he wanted from each other for a couple of hours.

Next day Thursday 18th April I don't hear from him all day. He calls me at night and tells me he is feeling numb and overwhelmed. I said to him that he is obviously confused and its best that he takes some time to think about what he wants.

This morning he calls me and says he is near my work and asks if I have time to grab a coffee with him. I told him no that I was busy. I'm so confused with this guy. He went from being the most amazing self assured guy to someone who doesn't know what he wants.

I was never the initiator in the relationship. He would always call me and text first. I never called or texted first. During our dates he would just stare at me with the widest grin on his face to the point where I had to look away. He would refuse to sit opposite me at the restaurant and only want to sit next to me. He would not let go of my hand the entire date. He would hug me and not let go for 5 minutes straight. He was so into me and now he suddenly is numb. I don't get it. I'm just so glad I didn't sleep with him then I really would have felt even more like shit.

Does this guy have commitment issues? Because I feel he has one foot in the door and the other out. I really like him but I don't want to waste my time on someone who is going to be hot and cold all the time.

TL;DR - should I just end it now and save myself future heartache?

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Husband caught cheating.. this time we have a child together.

My husband cheated and tried to justify it..

At a HUGE loss. Any advice or uplifting words would be much appreciated..

Long story short as I'm dead inside writing this. Once a cheater always a cheater. I keep giving him chances as i did love him. Love is blind. I'm an idiot. Cheated before marriage. Still married him thinking he changed. Even agreed to an open lifestyle to help those urges, spice up our love life... Caught him cheating during an unplanned pregnancy (only found dating site emails), forgave him for our "little family" sake. Been going well until I found out yesterday by photo and multuple videos of partners he has been cheating basically our whole marriage. Married 2018/started from whag the evidence shows back in 2021

Again, idiot, stay at home mom no income coming in. Made an appt with STD clinic and lawyer.. honestly just dead inside while trying to stay strong on outside for our little one. Just getting this off my chest really and any advice to go forward.. don't want to tell my family in case we work through things?

I'm so fucking scared this is happening now that we have a little one.. marriage was so important to me so that's my excuse for sticking it out.. through thick and thin. Again... IDIOT. The guy I loved died two days ago 4/16 it feels... I'm grieving someone living.. I don't even know who he is or what he is capable of

He hasn't really done or said anything but I want you to keep the house for you and the baby. He's tried sleeping in his truck but I told him we need to be cordial and to sleep on the couch..

Lengthy Update 4/18 I had to initiate conversation.. but he basically said he hasn't done or said anything like he's done in the past because he doesn't feel he deserves any more chances. He's shamed to look or even be speaking to me. If I want he can go figure it out or if I want to go he understands.. things got heated at the end where I said if he wasn't the father of my child I'd want him to off himself which wasn't right where he then proceeds to say "this happened because you didn't leave me alone when I tried to break up with you before.." which yes we had problems but it was a mutual agreement to work through things.. he also said where's my passport and tried to grab it where I stopped him saying you're going to leave your son?! Like that?! Our baby woke up and we didn't and won't argue in front of our little one. He grabbed our baby hugged him then looked at me and told me he wants to be with me and him. He wants his family. That stuff happened in the past.. he's ashamed for what's he done. He just knows a relationship can't be built off trust... I said so you're saying your not willing to try and build it again? How'd this be me fighting for it.. he said yeah but we both know I don't deserve anymore chances.

Small part of me doesn't want to give up our marriage.. maybe therapy would help? ..I hate myself for not just throwing his shit out and saying good riddance

TL;DR My husband got caught cheating again..want to keep our family together but it seems like our whole marriage was a sham.

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Online friend is stuck in life and bringing me down

Tldr; long time online friend is stuck in life and I can’t help him, at the same time he’s basically holding me hostage in this friendship and I don’t know what to do anymore

I met this friend in an online RTS game when we were around 15 and for many years I was happy to have him as my online friend.

But lately we have crossed paths - I have a job, hobbies, friends, and he is just stuck in life.

He’s 33, never had a job, despite him being a coding genius and always having some personal projects at home. The thought of looking for a job is like giving him trauma and his father is still sending him money.

He lives alone, has no friends IRL and often claims that I am now his only friend. He gets needy and often demands attention when I don’t check messages on Discord for days like a sad pup.

I tried helping him for years to just finish a CV and start looking for work, I got him a few freelancing gigs and he made some small money, but he’s got literally no personal initiative while at the same time dreams of owning a business. Honestly I think he doesn’t want to be employed because he can’t bear the real life of working night and day which is a norm in his country despite laws against it.

By this time, every time he talks to me it makes me feel weaker. Like I can’t help him and like there’s a problem to be solved that I can’t touch anymore. Nothing worked, he’s still squandering his life away alone in his room, broke and spending time on useless bs and video games.

I want to do better in life. I can’t continue pretending like everything’s okay and we’re gonna experiment with open source AI libraries for fun while he’s broke and miserable.

At this point I am sometimes ignoring his messages. I just cannot anymore… it drains me. It makes me feel tired and weak chatting to him already.

At the same time he tells me how I’m his only friend and how he doesn’t know what he’d do without me cause he gets depression and anxiety and he likes talking to me. That is guilt tripping me and I feel responsible for him although I shouldn’t. He won’t go to therapy because he believes in his country no psychologist would take him seriously.

What can I do? I want to be happy and build a better life and his mentality is contageous and is dragging me down as well. Whenever I have fun or have a good thing to share he keeps comparing us and how I’m so great and how he’s so miserable and cannot do or have what I have. It’s making me feel miserable about the good stuff.

I can’t be his parent. I can’t think about his career and his projects or his bank account. I can’t have his mental wellbeing as weight on my shoulders or whether he will fail in life or not, or feel guilty when he is lonely because he has no friends, and I struggle making conversation with such a huge elephant in the room. Whenever I bring it up it’s like he’s on the verge of a panic attack.

Sometimes he plays victim like there’s no solutions for him but all he does is sees problems and no opportunities - he makes me feel like he would be suicidal if I stop talking to him.

What do I do?

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If you use these 4 phrases regularly, you're more likely to form healthy relationships than most, says psychologist - NBC Southern California

If you use these 4 phrases regularly, you're more likely to form healthy relationships than most, says psychologist  NBC Southern California

* This article was originally published here

I (26f) kinda want to break up with my boyfriend (30m) but I don’t want to lose my benefits

i understand that my bf is not insurance.

my bf helps me out a lot. he likes to provide. he likes to give me things that he thinks would be good for my apartment. he likes to surprise me with bubble baths even though i could care less for a bubble bath. he likes to book helicopter rides because he wants to be cutesy and romantic and that’s his thing. but i’m not cutesy or romantic.

i like a lot of things he does for me though. cooks me food, picks up my meds, gives me money sometimes, cleans my house, organizes my closets.

i know i sound like i’m just using him. but i feel like it’s more of an exchange thing going on. i wash his underwear and have sex with him. if he says can we move the bed against the wall instead of the middle of the room, i do it. and he doesn’t even live with me. when i go grocery shopping, i buy things that i know he likes.

but he is such a douche. when he was trying to surprise me with the romantic bubble bath, he asked me where the candle we didn’t use yet was. i said i forgot where i put it. i asked him if he could just use the one we already used because it still had lots of wax left. he got a kinda aggressive tone with me and said no where is the new candle. i said idk. then he woke me up from my sleep and told me to come take the bubble bath with him. it was pretty. he put vines along the tub and on the shower pole. he turned off the lights and had both candles lit. he had a nice soothing playlist. and i said wowww this is nice just to be kind . and i told him to make sure he took a picture of it once we got out of the tub.

well i guess that he didn’t like that i only spent 10 minutes in the tub with him because i don’t really like baths and i was getting too hot. then he took everything down and starting taking a shower and i said bae did u take a pic before u took everything down and he said nah maybe next time. so that pissed me off.

some other fucked up shit that he does is stick his penis in me without a condom.he put his penis in me with no condom while i was in the laundry room. i told him i don’t wanna have unprotected sex. he also is controlling. and he’s stupid. he said “do u really not want me to cum in you?” like it was a shock to him. i said do you really want to cum in me because it’s all fun and games and it not thinking about the repercussions at all? i’m not a birth control or anything. him doing that really makes me angry. i don’t think i can get over that.

but if i lose him i lose my benefits. i lose fun times. i lose cooking together. i lose the parts that i like. and i’m not trying to go back on the dating apps and start again for the 100th time. even though we’ve only known each other for less than 2 months. so i’m conflicted. i did block him today but i unblocked him after thinking about all the things he does for me.

tl;dr: wanna break up with my bf but don’t wanna lose the good tomes

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How do I get over my girlfriend not being a virgin?

I (18 M) started to talking to this girl (18) for a while now and honestly things are perfect. Just amazing. She's super funny, and chill and... she's just great. We're not dating yet as we both talked about it and decided to take it slow.

So now we were talking and the conversation of virginity came up. To get straight to the point, she' not and I am. I handled it well. Didn't make her feel bad or anything. I have been in a few relationships but I guess this is a new one for me? Look I get it... people have pasts. I'm truly not judging. It was before my time. But why do I feel weird about it? Like this feeling genuinely sucks.

Am I planning on breaking up with her?

No! Definitely not.

But I can't get rid of this feeling. And I don't want to look at her a different way but I'm starting to feel the way I see her chnage. And I don't want to close with feeling off. Done it before. Not it.

So how can I get over this? This is just a little phase right? My little ego being shattered? I just don't want to keep going like this while talking to this amazing girl. I feel childish and immature. I've built myself up from a previous relationship that was just toxic. But now I feel all that progress of me growing up is gone.

Any advice on how to get over this? Some tough/brutal words? A Swift kick in the ass or a nice slap to get my damn head on straight? Because I'm not going to end things just cause of that. I need to make this work. I really like her :(

Thank you!

**TL;DR: Found out the girl I'm talking to has already had sex. I'm not going to break up with her over that but I feel hella weird about it and need some words/advice on how to deal with it. Not willing to lose her because she's not a virgin and I am.

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* This article was originally published here

Another gay breakup story

Another gay breakup story .

My boyfriend left me because he found out i had a gay Facebook account .

Me ( 26 Y ) and my boyfriend ( 26 Y ) have been together for like 9 months , everything was so perfect till i started my residency and became extremely busy , i might be working 60 h continually , ofcourse our meetings have been reduced , our texts , our calls and everything . Even when we meet i - involuntary - fall asleep while talking to him . We fought a lot cause he felt i was withdrawing myself on purpose , i truly wasn’t . Back then at the beginning of our dating we agreed to be exclusive and delete every gay accounts anywhere . We both agreed and i had this stupid Gay Facebook account which i used to look at shirtless guys and wank , never met anybody over it . I opened that account again when we used to fight a lot cause i needed to masturbate , he knows my phone password and found out this account and left me , got over me in no time and started to see other people . I never cheated on him , in fact i even stayed like 5 months after we broke up can’t have sex with other men cause it felt wrong and i felt my body is still his . I started to move on but i can’t help feeling it was my fault ( and it really was ) but also can’t help feeling this stupid account was an excuse for him to leave cause he couldn’t handle he wasn’t the priority during my residency . TL;DR;: my boyfriend left cause he found out i have gay account though i didn’t cheat on him

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Me (25F) feeling hurt and confused by partners lack of replying. Relationship just under a year long. Am I being unreasonable? If so could someone enlighten me on the behaviour

TL;DR Hey folks, I feel rather silly about this but don’t know where else to turn for advice.

My partner won’t reply to my messages for 3-9+ hours even though he will go online regularly during that time (via messenger). At points I will be left on read for hours as well. He also hardly ever calls me but will speak to other people in his life regularly if not daily on the phone.

I understand when he is busy or working, but over the past few it has become a regular occurrence (even when he has had weeks off work). It makes me feel as if there is a lack of interest in me and that I’m not a priority. I have found that it also makes me anxious as I sit and wonder why he would actively communicate with others but not me.

Personally I wouldn’t not reply to his messages if I were online as I care about him and like hearing off him. Maybe I shouldn’t be adding my own meaning to his behaviour but I honestly don’t understand why someone would do this to their so.

I have mentioned it to him and he says “he is working” but the behaviour carries on out of work hours as well as his time off.

Any advice or insight on this behaviour would be massively appreciated. Also if I’m in the wrong and need to correct my own take on contact etc please let me know. Many thanks from a stressed little human.

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* This article was originally published here

This daily habit all couples do could be killing your relationship, says expert - but the advice has proved to be ... - goodtoknow

This daily habit all couples do could be killing your relationship, says expert - but the advice has proved to be ...  goodtoknow

* This article was originally published here

I (M18) am thinking about asking out (F18). It is going to be the first time in a relationship for both of us. Should I ask her out or should we stay friends?

TL;DR: I am making this post to assess whether I should even try to ask her out. Some might say I lack confidence or "the worst she can say is no," but I'm worried about the friendship we have if she says no. I do not want to be friendzoned, so I'm wondering if I should just stay in the friendzone.

I am a junior in high school (I was held back in Kindergarten b/c of my autism) and she is a senior. We've been friends for about 5 months now and I have acquired feelings for her. I think she's smart, kind, funny, and very beautiful. We've been texting with varying degrees of frequency, but when she does text me she seems engaged and entertained. She often laughs at the humorous things I say or do so that gives me some hope. Her intelligence stands out to me. The number one thing that attracts me to a girl is intelligence. I just see a "light bulb over their head". She is someone who I can engage in political/moral conversation with and not lose their temper. I don't know for sure but she seems like the type to disapprove of casual/rash sexual behavior. She has never had a boyfriend (she's straight) and she is a virgin. This is important to me because I'm a Christian and I don't believe in premarital sex, and I think she would respect that based on the conversations I've had with her. I think a lot of her morals align with mine and I think she's intelligent enough to understand where our differences come from. I was also able to compliment her hair without getting an awkward response.

Here is what makes me lose confidence. Firstly, she hasn't been texting me recently. I told her about my spring break but she never got it because she closed the DM's. That hurt my feelings quite a bit. She also stopped sitting beside me in class. It was so weird. Maybe it was to get closer to her friend but when the teacher moved the tables around, she stopped sitting next to me. She also never mentions me among her friends. She has told her parents about me and she does consider me outside of school but I am definitely not one of her close friends. She's black and I'm white. Although she doesn't seem like the type to be into white men, I think she's incredibly beautiful. I mean, REALLY beautiful. She told me she doesn't even wear makeup and I couldn't believe it. I love the way she does the braids in her hair and I like how she dresses. I have had a struggle with terrible acne my whole life and it shows up more apparently because of my complexion. I am definitely not the best-looking guy. I've never asked for ratings but if I were to rate myself it would be a 2.5/10. Another thing is that I don't see ambition in her. The second thing that attracts me to girls is ambition; the drive to get work done; a sense of duty to the world. She is very present-minded and just wants to "get by." This is unattractive and concerning for me. I have some huge goals in my life (I want to change the world for good) but I don't know if she would be supportive. I already asked her if she wanted to join a friend club I made (it's NOT a fraternity) where me and my friends hang out, but also start businesses to raise money so we can do community projects and help the poor. She said no, and laughed at the idea. She didn't say "good idea" or "that's great" or anything along those lines like I hoped she would. I started talking about it in class again and she laughed. I completely understood why she said no. It's a big time investment for her, especially considering she works and doesn't fully understand the club. However, I would have liked a little more respect. I have also taken some sort of a vow of poverty. I am a firm believer that material things aren't givers of happiness, but rather your fulfillment in life upon achieving your goals and the joy of shared experiences with friends, family, and partners. I doubt that she would like that. I couldn't give you evidence beyond the fact that she spent $25 on a small vial of lip gloss. I think that's enough said. Finally, the biggest thing, we're going to different colleges. I don't think there's much more to be said here. Is it really worth my time? One of my friends said yes, the other said no, and the last one was neutral. I need your help.

I kindly request that you be nice to me because I was flamed/bullied off of my other Reddit account for posting on here because I knew nothing about dating.

Btw: My autism was more apparent in my childhood, but it is not major and it doesn't negatively affect how I interact with people. No one knows I have autism until I tell them. I never make my autism an excuse for anything, I always say I have to do the best with what I have and not complain. Also, please do not make fun of my Christian or traditional beliefs like others have. I know they are uncommon and "uncool" now, but I haven't judged anyone for thinking otherwise.

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* This article was originally published here

Do you think 3 weeks of alone time is reasonable? I’m 24F and my partner for 2 years is 24M

I (24F) and my partner (24M) have been together for 2 years. We don’t live together but we usually see each other every weekend. Sometimes I stay in his place from Saturday to Sunday and sometimes he stays in my place from Friday to Saturday. We call each other every night after work.

Lately I want some alone time because I just want to rest and I miss doing things/going to different places on my own. I want to be alone for about 3 weeks.

He never really asks for alone time but whenever I want some time on my own, it’s usually just 1 week max and he’s fine with it.

Tldr: Before I tell him about this, do you think 3 weeks is reasonable considering we only see each other every weekend?

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* This article was originally published here

RBC fires female CFO Nadine Ahn over secret relationship with employee who received promotions and bigger pay - MSN

RBC fires female CFO Nadine Ahn over secret relationship with employee who received promotions and bigger pay  MSN

* This article was originally published here

Biden's response to Netanyahu means the US-Israeli relationship has changed for good - MSN

Biden's response to Netanyahu means the US-Israeli relationship has changed for good  MSN

* This article was originally published here

Houston leads Texas cities for open-relationships, threesomes - Houston Chronicle

Houston leads Texas cities for open-relationships, threesomes  Houston Chronicle

* This article was originally published here

My gf 18F wants to break up due to my 19M Company’s Industry

I 19M and my gf 18F have been dating just over a year and during this time I have set up a Nightclub events management company with a few of my friends. We are in Ibiza this season delivering events and she already don't like the fact that l'm out there as she thinks it's for 'single people only' and she don't know if she trusts me enough.

I told her the plan was to go out next summer and continuously go out there to continue the business growth and she said we may as well break up now. She would come out but she doesn't want to put her career on hold for me and I don't expect her to, and she doesn't want to come out as she doesn't like/trust my friends I'm going out there with.

Any suggestions to what I can do/say? Or is it one of them things where I’m helpless.

TL;DR Girlfriend wants to end things as I'm going to Ibiza for the season with my business and she don't think she can handle me going out there every season.

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Is me (19F) asking for updates and being uncomfortable with certain people my gf’s (19F) with unhealthy?

Me (19F) and my gf (19F) have already been together for a year and a half, but we’ve only recently became LDR because I had to move places. I’m quite an overthinker, which I do know is unhealthy when isn’t controlled. Because of this I prefer for my gf to tell me where she’s going and who she’s with when she’s out and about. She’s also a very social person with big groups of friends and loves to hang out with each other through drinking while I’m quite the opposite.

However, most of the time she only tells me when she’s already going home, meaning there were no updates the entire time she was there. I communicated this to her, and told her that I would appreciate it if she could at least update me, but she told me that she doesn’t like updating every single thing to me all the time.

Another thing is that I’m uncomfortable with some people she’s friends with because they had a (romantic) past together. Not offical girlfriends or anything, more like flings but still. But those things were far in the past already, and these people had been her friends for a long time, even before I came into the picture. She wants to hang with them but I can’t help feeling uncomfortable.

We get into constant fights about these things because she said that she feels uncomfortable with me acting that way, although I only see my actions as asking her to be considerate of my feelings. I genuinely want to know if my actions are already crossing the line of being controlling, immature and unhealthy? I don’t know if it’s me who’s in the wrong or not

I would appreciate to receive honest answers, doesn’t matter if y’all need to say that it’s me who’s in the wrong, and also some advice on how I can bring this issue up to her again

TLDR: Is me asking for constant updates and asking her to consider my feelings before hanging out with people I’m uncomfortable with being immature

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* This article was originally published here

Help! Cheating 53m on girlfriend 50f with me.

Long story shortened… I’ve 50f been separated from my husband 50m for four years. We had an agreement to separate, but stay in one household for the kids. We were allowed to date. I was not looking but of course that’s when it hits… I found someone. But not just someone, definitely my soulmate. He was also separated at the time. He was eager to move forward together and finalized his divorce right away. While I loved him, I wasn’t ready to finalize my divorce because of my kids. So we were on and off for three years. I finally felt ready this summer and of course at that exact time, he met another woman. They started dating and he kept saying as soon as I was in the divorce process he’d be there for me. We continued our relationship but the other woman didn’t know. And still doesn’t six months later. He said she was a Plus One for holiday parties, etc, but that was it. Well, his feelings grew and now he’s choosing her over me. I want her to know that he’s been lying and cheating on her, but I don’t want to be the one to reveal it. I have messages, cards, etc but how do I do this without her “shooting the messenger”. Anonymously won’t work bc it will be obvious it’s me based on all the texts. Any ideas? And no judgment please.
TL;DR my love got tired of waiting for me to get divorced and started dating someone I know. Yet he hasn’t cut things off with me. How do I tell her?

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* This article was originally published here

Is it valid for me [25F] to want a stay at a hotel from my boyfriend [21M], because he did it for one-night-stands?

Yesterday I [25F] found out that my boyfriend [21M] of four months had paid for a night at a hotel with a girl he never did anything again with, and that he used to do it before we met. He never did it for me, and that makes me upset. He says he loves me, and that when he is in a relationship, he splits everything (which I have no problem with). To me, the issue is that I never got any sort of special treatment, but a one-night-stand got it. It makes me feel « less than ».

I tried to tell him this, but I could instantly tell he did not want to do it. He said yes initially, so I asked him more questions about why this change of heart. The conversation devolved into whether he did anything for me (nothing that wasn’t reciprocated, which is fine), and now he says he does not want to do it.

Am I invalid here? I know it sucks now that I had to ask, but it really is a dealbreaker for me, no matter my high opinion of him or the feelings I have for him.

TLDR: I feel disgusted by the fact that my boyfriend will pay for one-night-stands, but not for me. Is that valid ?

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Love Island's Kai Fagan and Sanam Harrinanan prioritise relationship over fame - Yahoo Movies UK

Love Island's Kai Fagan and Sanam Harrinanan prioritise relationship over fame  Yahoo Movies UK

* This article was originally published here