I think I messed up and got into a new relationship too quickly

So my(23f) ex(25m) dumped me in august and since then it's been really hard for me to happy again, I miss him and what we had so much and the fact that there's nothing I can do about it is killing me, fast forward to the start of October, I met my now current boyfriend(24m), he's been amazing to me very loving, patient and understanding of my past but even though I really enjoy spending time with him, I still come back home and cry. I feel really bad about it and I feel like he deserves better, but at the same time he's a great person and I don't wanna lose him, I wouldn't say I love him just yet but I've grown very attached to him and I feel like with time I'll get better and I can finally start being happy again. What would you guys do if you were in my position ?

Tl;dr: I got into a new relationship before I was ready but I don't wanna lose my partner

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Inside Bling Empire Kevin Kreider's Relationship With Devon Diep - Screen Rant

Inside Bling Empire Kevin Kreider's Relationship With Devon Diep  Screen Rant

* This article was originally published here

My family aren't inviting my fiancé for Christmas because we're both men. I'm not sure how to raise it with him.

Tldr: My family are uncomfortable that I'm in a relationship with a man. He's not invited for Christmas, obviously this means I won't be going either but I don't know how to explain to him without hurting him or making him feel guilty.

My fiancé and I are men in our early 30s. He's the first man I've had feelings for or been in a serious relationship with which could be relevant. We were friends first and my family LOVED him. They actually invited him for Christmas when we were friends so I know this isn't about anything other than disapproving of our relationship.

Christmas is a big deal in my family, the whole extended family is there including partners. I automatically assumed my partner would be there. My family were awkward about our relationship at first but I really thought they were coming around. However, my mum (who always hosts) has told me he isn't invited because older relatives wouldn't be comfortable and it might ruin the day. I'm from quite a typical african family and they aren't exactly open-minded. My parents aren't too bad but they are very image-conscious. My siblings are a mixed bag.

My fiancé and I haven't really discussed Christmas so it's not as though I'd told him he's coming and he was excited about it or anything. I was kind of excited though. I'm disappointed that it won't be happening but I'm even more disappointed that my family don't accept us. Obviously I'm not going without him. I told my mum this but she thinks I'm being silly and will change my mind.

I don't know how to tell my fiancé. He's going to be so hurt and when I tell him I'm not going either he's going to feel guilty. Any time my friends or family have had an issue with us being together, he's just ended up feeling bad because he feels like he's causing problems in my relationships. I know he's going to say he wants me to go to my family Christmas without him. Christmas is already a difficult time for him because he has no family, literally none. I think this situation is going to make him feel even worse.

I don't know what the best way is to handle it. I don't think there's any way to avoid hurting him but I want to at least make it easier on him. I was wondering about us maybe going away somewhere but that might make him feel guilty too. Any advice would be appreciated.

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My bf (32m) won't stop groping me (30f) during the night and I'm losing sleep and starting to feel avoidant

Firstly, excuse the formatting, I'm on mobile.

We've been together over 5 years and whilst I love him, this is an issue that's always been somewhere in the relationship. When we first started dating he would be very handsy and always try to initiate PDA, which I'm really not into. He'd ignore my refusals to sit on his knee or try make out with me in public, thinking I was just shy, which I was, but also just didn't want to because it feels awkward in public. I'd tell him no, but he'd still persist.

As the relationship has gone on he's always been a person who can't stay still in bed, he fidgets a lot, and hell tend to grope me when I just want to sleep, or I'll wake up to him groping me when again, I just want to get some rest as I work pretty hard jobs. If he's not groping me he's moving me around trying to get me to lie on him or putting his arm under my neck. I tend to wake up cranky and with a sore neck most of the time. I've lost my temper a few times and he will stop, but ultimately he goes back to his ways.

Currently the situation seems to be getting worse. We currently are only living together partly as we are selling our house and moving in with my parents temporarily until we find a new property. So I only see him for half the week until our house sells. I've currently took on a new job and am working double the hours I originally worked, so I'm quite tired due to my body adjusting to these extra 15 hours a week, as well as other external issues, including my mental health. I don't know if it's because he misses me with being apart more now, but it's really starting to drive a wedge between us for me.

I feel reluctant to be intimate because I'm so tired of constantly being treated like a doll, being picked up and moved around and groped, despite me rejecting this. It's a huge turn off to wake up constantly with someone groping you before you even know what day it is. I feel like an object.

Despite all this, I love him and he is a great partner. He treats me so well, cooks, pulls his weight around the home, takes care of me when I'm sick, it's just this one issue and I don't know how else to get through to him that it's really putting me off the relationship. I've flat out told him to stop, I've sent articles of the impacts of this, I've sent tiktoks of people talking about how they feel when it happens to them. My only other option is to tell him it's making me want to pull away more, which I'm sure I probably have done, but it doesn't sink in for long.

I'm just stuck.

Tldr: My bf is constantly groping me or moving me around when I'm trying to sleep despite me telling him not to, and it's putting me off the relationship

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How and where to break up with my (16F) boyfriend (16M) of 6/7 months?

He has much stronger feelings for me than I do for him, and I think it's not fair to him and will hurt him even more if I stay. I also don't really want to be in this relationship anymore in general, because I've lost a lot of enjoyment in talking to/spending time with him. How much (if any) of this should I be saying?

Also, I'm not sure whether to do it in person or over the phone. I know that breaking up over the phone is generally a bad idea because it's considered disrespectful and low-effort. The problem is that I can't think of a suitable place to break up in person. I'm definitely not doing it in school, and we've never been to each other's houses, so that's not an option either. I don't feel comfortable doing it in a public place, because I feel like there's a lack of privacy and we might not be able to talk openly. Also, neither of us can drive, and while my place is near public transport, I'm not sure about his. In the past, dates have also required a lot of planning effort, because of our schedules, our parents, and having to share the car with family members. In this case specifically, we would have to agree on a place and time, at the very least. I don't know if it's worth going through all that planning, and he'll probably be suspicious (though that might be a good thing, at least he wouldn't be totally blindsided). So I'm not sure what to do.

TLDR: I think I want to break up with my boyfriend, but I don't know how detailed my reasoning should be and how I should do it.

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How to stop relationship anxiety?

I feel like anxiety is ruining my enjoyment of my relationship

Me (M22) and my boyfriend (M22) started dating 5 months and everything always went super well.

In the beginning as normal we would talk much more than nowadays. We started off by texting eachother every 2 hours.

But in about a month or so the replies started taking longer to come. I talked to him about it and he said that he believes that it is normal for couples to talk less after a while because in the beginning we are getting to know eachother and everything is so new. Plus he said he doesn’t wanna force a conversation with me, he wants it to be natural.

I actually agree with him, I don’t want our conversations to be forced and I don’t wanna change him. And it’s also not like it is a major difference, instead of taking 2 hours to reply he now takes between 3/4 hours.

But I can’t shake off the anxiety, even if rationally I know the relationship is going great, I am sure of his feelings for me, he is meeting my parents for the first time tomorrow and we already have plans for the weekend.

I just spend my days checking to see when he texts me, making mental notes of how long he takes to reply, checking if he is online and not responding.

It’s very draining and I feel like everyday it’s the same.. everything is fine, then he takes longer to reply and the rest of my day is just full of anxiety.

Any tips on how to control my anxiety and overthinking?

TLDR: Everyday I feel anxiety regarding my relationship even though I rationally know everything is fine. How do I stop this?

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First year of being married and already in the brink of divorce

My husband (30M) and I (25F) recently got married after 5 years of LDR. We’re an interracial couple. He’s from Europe and I’m from Asia. Things were already pretty rocky before we even got married but it just seemed like the best decision at the time. We didn’t live together for more than 2 months prior to getting married. I love him still, don’t get me wrong. The problems in our relationship just seem to stack on top of each other. This will be a long retelling of our issues so get ready.

First, he’s been suffering from a plethora of illnesses since the start of the pandemic. He has photosensitivity (extremely eye sensitivity to light of any sort), misophonia (sound sensitivity) and just recently, he started having excruciating back pains. So you can already tell how much suffering he has endured for years now. I love him dearly, but he can’t control his reaction to everything. He gets heated up and critical about things. We can’t watch tv or even look at phone screens cause it’s too bright for him. I can’t make sudden noises cause it startles him and makes his ear painful. We don’t even have dinners at home because chewing sounds and cutleries hitting the plates trigger his misophonia. On top of that, he barely does the weight lifting in the house, literally. He can’t carry heavy stuff cause his back hurts so bad afterwards. Mind you, we live in a block of flats and we’re on the 5th floor so carrying stuff up and down the stairs can be a real struggle for him. These are all real pain and we’ve visited the doctors so many times. We don’t know why he has all these illnesses. It just came out of nowhere.

Second, I want to go home. I miss my family so much that it hurts. I moved from Asia to Europe to be with him and meet his family for the first time. This is my dream to be here and boy was I wrong. I didn’t know I would miss my mum so much. We’re really close and I miss our bond so much. I told him I wanted to settle down in my country, and he hated the idea. We got into this huge fight just last night. He told me I should just go home and be with my “mommy” as he sarcastically said it. He said that apparently being with my family for 24 years had not been enough for me and I should just be with my mum forever. He doesn’t understand the concept of being Asian and having really tight knit relationship with their families. Of course, I feel that it’s a bit selfish to ask that from him. He travelled 3 times to my country just to be with me when we were still LDR. He has sacrificed a lot – his job, his money, his life. And he said that he’s not dropping this flat that he loves so much and his life once again to appease me. It hurts a lot when he said that but I understand. He feels that he’s a failure for bringing me to Europe and I’m not even happy here. He said a lot of hurtful things and I did too. He wanted me to come back to my country to be with my mum but took it back when I finally gathered up the courage to call my family in the middle of the night. I seriously thought that was it. I thought we're done for.

Right now, I’m in shambles. I love this man a lot but this is not how I imagined it would be. I’m finally here in Europe where I dreamed I would be a few years ago. He said I don’t appreciate it enough and many people would want to be in my position. My heart is torn cause I just want to be with him and with my mum nearby. I want to have his love and comfort and my mum’s presence in my life. I surely sound like a mama’s girl right now but I can’t help but feel this way.

Another thing is that I wanna spend more time with him. We’re both introverts and work from home. I realized that me needing his company so much is my way of coping with the fact that I miss my family. I’ve lived with my mum and my sister all my life and I miss that feeling. I miss that there are people walking around the house but now it’s just the two of us, working in separate rooms. I told him that he doesn’t spend that much time with me, he doesn’t watch movies with me, he doesn’t have dinners with me and he took it as an offense. Telling me how insufficient I make him feel.

I know he tries. He’s sick and he can’t do all of that. I’m just tired of overthinking our relationship. I’m tired that I have to ask these things. Something in me silently wishes that the guy I dated in the first 3 years of our relationship would just come back, without all his illnesses. He was the kindest, most wonderful man, almost like a dream. Somewhere along the way, that guy disappeared, and I miss him so much.

I guess I also just wanted to rant here. I don’t tell anyone about our relationship problems. I also don’t have any friends that I can hang out with in this city. I don’t speak their language and I just feel like an alien here… I just want some clarity in all of this. Maybe some words of encouragement, maybe a way to fix this, or maybe just someone to tell me that I have to end it.

Tl/dr: Constantly fighting and marriage is slowly collapsing. I want to settle down in my home country but he wants to stay.

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The 3 Zodiac Signs Who Want An Exclusive Relationship During The Moon Conjunct Venus On October 25, 2022 - YourTango

The 3 Zodiac Signs Who Want An Exclusive Relationship During The Moon Conjunct Venus On October 25, 2022  YourTango

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My (18, NB) friends (varying ages and genders, 17-18) are still friends with my ex (M, 18) and it bothers me.

I know you can’t control people, obviously. They can be friends with whoever they want but it doesn’t change the fact that i’m still hurt and confused.

For context, my ex was a cheating, abusive, and narcissistic jerk. These friends even agree to this and often call him a jerk too, saying what he did to me was awful and unforgivable and they’ll “protect” me if he ever tries anything.

The problem is… for the amount of shit talking they do they STILL hang out with him. They’ll literally tell me to my face “Ugh he was such a jerk today, so sorry you had to go through that” or “He threw up at the party we went to without you, he’s so stupid.” THEN WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH HIM?? Literally WHY are you agreeing and telling me these things along with my complaints and still hang out w him. It comes off as so fake and disrespectful to me.

These people are my only friends but it’s so aggravating to come out of a vent session about my feelings and codependency on him for them to go “I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that. Just know we fully support and seen everything he did to you if he tries to do anything” and then two hours later see them playing together on overwatch.

(If you want an example of how shitty my ex was, overwatch is a perfect example. When me and my ex were dating I begged him to play overwatch w me, I even offered to buy it. He said it was completely stupid and I’m stupid for liking it. Now that we’re broken up, hes now playing it because he saw his favorite twitch streamer play it.)

I asked one of them, let’s call David, why they still talk after he explained how pathetic my ex was. He said he “felt bad” and “didn’t want to be mean.” But what I don’t understand is they have the nerve to say all they want behind is back and then acting all buddy buddy with me. Who knows if they’re doing the same to me.

I feel so hurt yet numb at the same time. I just want to start over with new friends and a new environment but it’s impossible.

It’s so frustrating that the only thing I can do is sit through it. I’m currently in online community college right now and it is so lonely and I’d be even more lonely without them. I have no way of making more friends for at least two years till I’m able to transfer. My best bet is dealing with it but I don’t know if I can take it anymore. What do I even do?

TL:DR! My friends still talk to my ex despite constantly dogging on him and agreeing he was horrible to me and his horrible to them. I have no idea why they would do this. I’m also confused and left wondering if I’m better off being lonely, or if there’s any other options?

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My bf doesn't do anything all day. He has no job and doesn't go to school. Idk how much longer I can put up with this.

(Throwaway because he follows my main)

So my bf and I are both 18, which makes us technically adults but really we're both basically teenagers, since I am still in high school, he should be, and we both still live with our parents. We've been dating for a little over a year, and we're long distance. (Only have seen each other irl a couple times.)

I love my bf so much and he's perfect to me in almost every way. He's a huge support system to me and I don't think I can handle losing him. But at the same time this has been going on way too long and idk how much longer I'll put up with it.

He has no job. He doesn't go to school. He's not even really working on a GED, and overall he seems to have basically no motivation.

His parents pulled him out of school in mid-9th grade because of COVID then just never sent him back. (His parents SUCK and do absolutely nothing to help motivate him.) He did an online school program for one school year, but after that summer just never went back to it and he hasn't been in school the entire time we've been dating. He keeps saying he's going to get a GED but he hasn't even studied for it and he doesn't have any way to pay for one, so who knows if that will ever even happen.

He doesn't work and never has. He claims he's looking for a job but I don't know how much effort he's * actually * putting into it.

So, between dropping out of school, having no job, and not actually working towards a GED, he does nothing. He sits around and plays video games and talks to me, that's it.

I go to school, work, and have a lot more responsibilities/chores at home. I'm actually putting in effort every day and it sucks to do all that then call him and realize he has zero responsibility. Im just so tired of him doing literally nothing at all, it doesn't feel fair to me since I'm actually putting in effort.

And now at this point I'm worried about him holding me back. I'm ready to start my adult life in less than a year. I have money saved up, I'm about to graduate high school (I'm graduating half a year early), and I have plans for a career. But him? He probably won't even have a high school diploma or GED by the end of the year, and he has zero money at all and no job in sight.

I'm certainly not paying for everything. So I'd have to put living with him off until he saves enough money which at this point will take forever. And I'm not about to be 18/19 with him still not at the very least graduated from high school. We. Need. Money. And he needs to help make some of it. It isn't realistic to be able to move on with my life like this.

Also, it just bothers me. He talks about my job and school like they're so easy, and he doesn't value the hard work I'm putting in at all. I'm tired of him acting like he has any ground to stand on even remotely, because he has literally zero clue what responsibility is.

I know that if it gets to the point where I am graduated and moving onto trade school and he still hasn't even gotten the job, I'm gonna have to leave him. It'll suck and probably be the worst Day of my entire life but I really can't stand to be with someone like that.

But the way he talks it seems like he's actively looking for a job and he'll get his GED as soon as he has money for it. That's what he says, and the way he talks about it makes me want to believe him. And if he just got a job and started saving money, everything will be okay. Our relationship would be basically perfect.

But it's been a year now and still nothing has changed. I don't know what the right thing to do is, should I wait around to see if he does it or just go now? I don't know.

It's such a hard thing to deal with because I love him so much, but this is causing me a ton of stress and realistically I can't keep going on for much longer.

Yes, I have talked to him about this. I bring it up all the time, at least a couple times a week. But he always just tells me he's trying and no one will hire him.

PLEASE HELP ME. What do I do??

TLDR; my bf has no job and doesn't go to school because he dropped out. He claims to be trying but after a year there's no change and I can't wait around for much longer.

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I didn’t tell him how I feel when he opened up and I regret it.

I was seeing someone years ago briefly, but I developed very strong feelings. He was a friend before this and was at the end of a separation , moved out and almost divorced. He ended up reconciling and went back for his kids. He apologized profusely and I was hurt but kept it cordial at work.

He tried to be friends with me, but I couldn’t because there were too many feelings still there. He accepted that. I got back with an ex who had showed me at the time that he was willing to make the changes to be better. Things got a lot better with him and we got engaged. The other guy heard about this and was obviously upset. I had no idea he still had feelings for me. One night, he approached me and asked me if there was a chance in the future , told me he wants to grow from this and that his marriage was really ending. I, of course said I’m happy where I’m at and I’m sorry. He accepted that but looked pretty hurt by it.

I left the job and got married , my husband started drinking again, lying, staying out all night and just disrespectful behavior. I talked to him over and over and it didn’t change. I’m getting divorced now because of it.

I always thought about this other person. I really fell for him and we just always clicked. I saw the other guy out a few months ago when I wasn’t in a very good place emotionally. I was sure I was divorcing just needed to make the move. I was already sleeping in the spare room. I told the other guy what was going on with my marriage and just vented. He listened and then told me that we have a connection that he can’t find with anyone else, it was always bad timing with us and never stopped feeling the same way. I was shocked and didn’t know he felt this way. I was so emotionally unavailable and a shell of myself that I didn’t believe anyone could. I kind of pushed him away and kept it very friendly. He talked about the past and how it was his fault everything that went down before. All my feelings came back. Not sure if they ever went away. I didn’t show him this though and now I regret it. I kept it very casual because I was trying to do the right thing and I was still married even though I was leaving. He is divorced now.

We didn’t speak until a few months later when my dad passed away. Then after that I saw him out again. I was separated at this point with no chance of reconciliation. He was being cordial and I got a little tipsy. I don’t really drink, but went a little overboard and hung all over him. He was receptive and he kissed at the end of the night. I didn’t hear from him after this. I texted him the next week to say thanks for looking out for me (he got me home safe). He said no problem always good to see you and left it at that. These feelings were really sitting in with me. I then texted him 2 weeks later and asked him to call me. I just needed to tell him. He called and I told him I’m sorry for those times I pushed you away and acted like I didn’t have feelings for you because you always meant the world to me. He said don’t ever worry about that and that we always had a good friendship. Then he offered to be there for me when ever I need him. I didn’t say anything else about the way I felt because he said the friends thing. It’s been a few weeks and I haven’t contacted him. I think about him all the time. He is someone I just click with in so many ways. I don’t know what to do !!

TL;DR: guy I fell for years ago reconciled with his wife and I was hurt because I fell for him. He apologized and we were friends before. I got engaged and he asked if there was a chance in the future and that he was leaving this time and wants to change and grow. I told him no. I’m getting divorced now due to alcoholism and still have feelings for this guy. He opened up to me a few months ago and I pushed him away because of my situation. Told me he never got Over me etc. Now, months later , I am separated and filed for divorce and he is keeping it friendly after I told him my feelings.

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I (35F) destroyed my boyfriend’s (35M) confidence. What more can I do to restore it? Or should I leave him be?

Tl;Dr: I drunkly and falsely called my boyfriend small and he is now struggling with his mental health.

Throwaway, obviously. Apologies in advance for the long post. My now probably ex-BF and I have been together on and off for 5 years. We were good friends before but over the course of our relationship became each other’s best friend. We hang out all the time, are always in contact and are pretty much joined at the hip. The off part of our relationship was my first mistake. Some years ago, I went into a terrible depression and withdrew from society, including him. I just felt pressurised by the need to be ‘fun’ and instead of talking to him about it, I just disappeared. When I started bouncing back, I reached out and he was angry but accepting. I credit him with actually pulling me out of it and while we restarted as friends, we inevitably ended up in relationship again. Our communication(read mine, as his was always good) seemed better. Except this time around he started off with doing things like apologising every time we had sex for not being good enough. This then escalated to him saying he never really liked sex anyway and he expressed a worry that his dick was somehow not big enough. I, selfishly, only focused on the first part. I had never had a problem with his size and he was in fact bigger than most of my exes; so I didn’t really take this seriously. I started to try and ‘make’ him enjoy sex more but he even went as far as to ask whether we could still be together but remove sex from the equation. I admit I was frustrated with the situation. A year ago, while extremely drunk and discussing the same thing again, I said something I’ll regret forever. I was too drunk to remember saying this which makes it worse, but in his words I said, “I don’t care if you’re the smallest I’ve been with, you still turn me on the most!” It wasn’t even true about the size, but he immediately believed because I was the one who said it and he believes the truth comes out with alcohol. We almost broke up then, but couldn’t stay away from each other. The past year has been hell, more for him than me. We have fought constantly but he refuses to believe I would lie to him then, but also refuses to believe anything I say now. He lives on small dick subs, he dreams of me with bigger men. Paradoxically , our sex life has become brilliant, mainly because he has become excellent at it. But each time we have sex he spirals into a deep low. I tried reassuring him, ignoring his constant venting about it (huge mistake in retrospect), talking about it with him all the time, being extremely positive and complimentary. Nothing worked, he said I was letting him down and now he has broken up with me saying i trigger his spirals and he needs me to be the bad guy. I’m devastated and heartbroken. I fully accept my responsibility in this. I don’t want him to deal alone, but would it be selfish to not let him go? I can’t imagine our lives without each other.

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Relationship of 2 years, moved in with each other, sex has stopped, feel like I'm just friends with her - need thoughts and advice.

Sorry this might be long, I don't have anyone to talk to this to about. This is my first and only real relationship so everything I'm feeling is new and I have no idea how to react.

So I (M26) have been with my SO (F26) for 2 years, we started dating immediately after meeting, I had feelings of doubt around 3 months after this and I told her I wanted to break things off. However, she persuaded me to stay and try and sort things out which I agreed to and everything after that was actually really great, we saw each other all the time, sex was amazing and regular and we just generally really enjoyed spending time together.

After 1.5 years of dating we decided to move in with each other. I was excited to move in with her and everything was good at the beginning. Everything is still good in the sense that we are best friends and she is so caring and nice. But..

I feel like I've drifted from her, I no longer get super excited to spend time with her, it feels like we are friendly housemates and not a couple. I've realised now we spend all of our time together we don't really have any common interests. Another big factor in these feeling is that our sex life has disappeared, I haven't had sex with her in over 4 months. We still kiss and cuddle but it just doesn't feel special anymore - I'm getting so sexually frustrated. We snap at each other and have arguments over nothing more than we used to now too.

Lately I have been feeling really horribly anxious, stressed and just unhappy about my relationship, I feel like I can't see it getting any better and the longer things carry on like this the worse it will get. I really just miss my old life before we moved in together. What makes it worse is that inside I feel like this but she still appears happy, says how much she loves me and seems to not notice or ignores how our relationship has changed. I am scared to talk to her about it as whenever we talk about things like this she breaks down in tears and it's impossible to have a proper conversation without her being hysterical.

These feelings have been building slowly inside me for a few months and just lately it has become overpowering. I think the thing that has sparked the overpowering feelings is that recently I've had several girls show interest in me, I would never cheat but it just made me think, what am I holding out for - to back to a nice girl who doesn't want to have sex with me when I'm still only 26.

We still have 6 months left on our tenancy agreement and my head is killing me on what to do. I don't know when I should try and talk to her about how I'm feeling, now or wait and see if things improve and if not talk near the end of our tenancy.

My thoughts are maybe I wasn't ready to move in with her, and would moving back separately be an option or is there no going back from this? What I really want to avoid is trying to stick with feeling like this for another few years in the hope it improves and then breaking up when we're 30. Don't know how I approach the situation. Anyone experienced something similar to this or has any words of wisdom?

TLDR: First and only relationship - Dated girl for 1.5 years everything was great, moved in together, we still have best friend vibes but haven't had sex with for over 4 months, I feel like magic is gone and we're just housemates, I get the impression she doesn't feel like this and thinks everything is still great. Scared to talk to her about it as she will react badly, don't know how to approach the situation.

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* This article was originally published here

Am I (18F) too attached to my lover (18F)?

We met when we were 14 and she was everything I have ever wanted and craved, everything I had ever appreciated, in a human. Before her, I used to feel like a lost child and she is the only one to see me for who I am and love me for it. She not only accepts my faults but loves them because they are her faults too. She appreciates my virtues because they're her virtues too. My parents and sisters love me but they don't understand me. She does. We share the same soul.

I feel like the happiest woman on earth when I am with her, like nothing could ever go wrong. With her, life is poetry. I would happily burn to death as long as she is happy and with me. The problems start when we are away. This year she had to be away for a few months and we had no contact except on phone. I was so depressed nothing would make happy. Every single second without her was pure agony. I was so bad I even bought poison because I couldn't stand to live without her, but couldn't take it because how would I love her if I died? Yes, I live to love her. There is no purpose in my life except for loving her and this makes me scared of what would happen if I lost her. She is human, she could die any day. I wouldn't be able to live without her. I cannot imagine life without her. I sometimes get nightmares and intrusive thoughts of bad things happening to her and it makes me shriek and shake and cry in agony. If someone actually harmed her or if something bad happened to her, I wouldn't be able to live with it. I would gladly feed myself to rats to save her, but I cannot always be there to save her. If she died before me I'm sure I would just kill myself and put myself out of the agony of being without her. I can't be happy without her. I am in tears even as I write this post.

TLDR: I am so attached to my lover that if we ever got apart I won't be able to live. I've already come close to killing myself because she was away for a while.

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* This article was originally published here

I need help in figuring out wether she likes me or not

Right so I’ve known this girl for a few months now. We do work together. So she had a boyfriend up until 4 weeks ago who she’s now split up with. She did confide in me when she split up with him as he wasn’t the best bf to her. We get along really well. Before she split up with him she only really text me a few times in the month she had my number for. Since then we’ve been texting quite a lot she told me a while back that she was a really bad texter and she normally replies after a few hours but in the last month we’ve been texting she replies really quickly each time no longer than a few mins normally. I first want to see her outside of work and establish a relationship that’s not just texting outside of work. We are very similar people and just jel really well. I see and feel some chemistry there but I’m not sure if I’m looking too much into it. Does this seem promising or should I look somewhere else?

TLDR: there’s a girl I like not sure if she feels the same should I go for it?

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* This article was originally published here

Was it wrong of me (20M) to tell my best friend (18F) that I want to stop talking?

TLDR: We were very close friends that hung out a lot. But once school started she's been very distant and acting weird around me so I ended our friendship.

​

For some context we are both in college. I met her in the spring and we got along really well because we are both math majors. After we met we started hanging out nearly every week for a few hours. And this continued into the summer. We planned to take a math class together. And she seemed very excited about this. She kept saying she would love to take a class with me. She also asked me to take econ with her to make it less boring.

Before school started I did try asking her to take a 3rd class with me. It is very easy and doesn't require attendance and has very little work. It's a free A. At first she said she would take it if she couldn't get into a singing class. But then she kept making excuses and she started getting awkward when I brought it up. I think this was the start of her weird behavior.

The first week we hung out for 3 hours normally. But then she told me she scheduled a art class right after our math class. I tried asking her when she'd be free to study. But she basically said she's too busy and scheduled poorly. I stopped asking and decided to let her ask me instead.

I would also walk with her after class but she started being very awkward and not talking talking at all. So I stopped walking with her after class and leave right away. She wouldn't message me at all and barely talked to me in class.

We had a math test coming up so I ended up sending her a message asking if we were going to study at all during this class. she didn't respond till the following day before class. And she was very awkward and seemed reluctant. But she told me a day she was free and planned to study the following week. The way she acted her and has been acting bothered me a lot. After class I ended up sending her a message saying I think we should stop talking. She asked why and I just said I didn't want to talk about it and she said okay. I moved seats and didn't say anything after that. I think she did try waiting for me after class but she didn't say anything to me.

a few weeks later I decided to message her to talk about it. I wanted to know why she was avoiding me and barely talking to me. She told me she hasn't noticed and that she's been stressed with school and said maybe that's why she was being awkward. She refused to explain further and said she didn't want to talk to me after I threw away our friendship so easily. I tried explaining to her how I felt but she kept putting the blame on me. Saying she wasn't avoiding me and that I should have talked to her instead of throwing away our friendship. This ended by her saying she doesn't want to be friends after this and thanked me for the closure.

I would like someones else thoughts on this. There is some more stuff but this is already really long. So let me know what you think.

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* This article was originally published here

Ex friend/romantic partner blocked me and ceased contact, but called me today, 2 months later

I was in a “relationship” with this girl and we were very close. So close we would talk constantly every day for a year and a half, travel, go out to eat, open up to each other and have passionate moments together. We got romantic right away and everything was going great. After 1.5 years we started to argue about spending time with each other and gaining the others appreciation. One day she was tired of the arguing and decided to block me and disappeared. 2 months later she texts me and asks if we can talk about why I thought she was worth it and that she wants to take this really slow and get to know me on a deeper level. Later today she texts me: “You wanted to talk about it? Did you think? Why it’s worth it? I’m going to take a shower and then you can call.” Then several minutes later she texts me again saying: “what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”. I reply and say: “what do you mean?” And her response is: “I’m almost done.” I say “no worries take your time” and I call her a few minutes later. When she answers the phone I hear her crying and sniffling as she says: “So what do you want to talk about?” I’m a perplexed because she initiated this whole interaction, so I say: “Oh, the text from earlier? Well, your worth it to me because you were always there for me and genuinely wanted to spend time with me, expecting nothing but my company in return. We got really close and attached. I appreciated how you stayed close and present in our relationship.” Shortly after, while crying, she says: “I’m stupid and too nice..” When I asked why she thinks this of herself she responds saying: “I’m stupid because I’m too nice. When asked why she thinks that, she said she’s too nice and goofy to people.” I inquire: “Who are you treating too nice?” She vaguely replies, “Everyone.” When asked if it’s having to do with work, she says: “no.” Then when asked if it’s at school, she says “idk, and I don’t care.” She also said that she’s crying because she’s upset and sad. When asked if I am making her upset and sad, she says: “no.” When asked what is making her feel sad and upset, she replies: “I don’t know. I’m upset and sad about everything; I’m just stupid.”

The rest of the conversation is me reassuring her and attempting to bring her self image back to reality. I also let her know that I’m here if she ever wants to talk and that I want to know her what she is going through to try and support her as well as getting to know her on a deeper level (reiterating her initial text). I also let her know she doesn’t have to be alone because I’m here for her no matter what what happens or what she goes through.

I thought it was very strange that she was okay with crying to me on the phone but did not want to get into specifics on why she is feeling this way. We were very close a couple months ago, but now it seems she wants to start over and take things very slow.

What are your thoughts on her calling me seemingly out of the blue?

tl;dr

Friends with benefits blocked me after being close for 1.5 years. She called me 2 months later crying saying she is stupid, upset, and sad, but she said I am not the one making her feel this way.

Thoughts?

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* This article was originally published here

Bf read my words wrong, got mad, and now were arguing.

TL;DR : Bf read my words wrong, got mad, and now were arguing. What should i do next?

Okay so

He was in highschool and i just dropped out from the same school (personal reasons). I was playing this one roblox game on my ipad, I encountered something and wanted information about that said thing, I couldn’t go out of the roblox tab to google it up, because then it would kick me out of the game (sadly) and I couldn’t make splitscreen because google isnt one of the apps at the bar thing.

But i did had a splitscreen to telegram, who which i asked my bf and my friend, those because i wanted it asap, (my dad restricted my internet to 6 hours a day, sad) I admit i did kinda worded it wrongly (i was in a rush), “please look up the information about this” instead of “can you please look up the information about this” though my intentions was to ask for help, not force.

He has a busy schedule, but that time i ask was during lunch break, surely he has some time to help. He did, he said ok and told me to wait. He didn’t say no.. so I thought everything was okay! No, it wasn’t.

After helping he got mad at me and i was confused, like, i don’t understand. He said hes stressed and accused me of using him, when all i did was ask for help. And that was the only time i did, before this, nothing. I said if he didn’t wanna help he can just say no. But nah he was still mad.

Then he had to go, which left me confused on what did i do.

When he came back he apologised for being mad, and said he understands he shouldn’t. I was still confused and hurt so instead of forgiving, I decided to keep asking and justifying. I reminded him that he could’ve just said no. He said my tone wasn’t in the asking way, it was the commanding way. He has ADHD so i get where the misunderstanding of tones come from, but this is texting, he could’ve asked for my tone indicator or asked me what i had meant, or even told me to ask him more politely/word it better. My text wasn’t in all caps lock or anything, it just didn’t have a “can”.

He even tried to justify him blowing up because of him being stressed. Honestly we did have this conversation before, and we ended up agreeing every time he blew up or whatever, he has to apologise because at the end of the day, my feelings was hurt still. Like, “I’m sorry for blowing up/getting mad/getting stressed”.

In my views, being stressed out isnt a justification to blow up, but instead its an explanation, especially when all the other did was just ask for help. You may tell me your views on this, because i don’t know if its more justifiable or explanatory.

He says he feel mocked by me asking him to look up information about the game (highschool internet blocks games).

Now he had to go again and we can only talk the next day.

What should i do?

(If its important, my psychiatrist said i have autistic traits, and I’m still in the process of getting fully diagnosed.)

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* This article was originally published here

Lady Finds Out Bae Has Been in Another Serious Relationship for 4 Years: “I Was Always the Problem” - Tuko.co.ke

Lady Finds Out Bae Has Been in Another Serious Relationship for 4 Years: “I Was Always the Problem”  Tuko.co.ke

* This article was originally published here

My BF called me loose out of nowhere

My BF (23M) and I (24F) were laying in bed while suddenly out of the blue, he told me if I know if there is a cosmetic procedure to tighten the vagina. I asked him why did he ask me this out of nowhere, mind you, we were talking about something else. And he told me that I was "loose". He then proceeded to reassure me that no matter what, he loves me and that he can put up with it because of how much he loves me.

I haven't had sex with anyone else besides him and my ex (my ex was my first) so it had me thinking how I became loose. I defended myself for a bit and told him that the "husband stitch" is painful for the woman and risks nothing for the man and his pleasure. He asked me if I don't want it, i became quiet and just dumbfounded by what just happened. I just said, if i am loose, then I will take the procedure when I get pregnant and gave birth in the future, for him.

Before I was about to get home, he asked me if we could have another round of sex but i was so put off by what he just said to me that I made an excuse to say that my abdomen hurts and that I gotta go.

I don't think i will be ever in the mood to have sex again. I feel disgusted with myself.

He treats me right, loves me, and is the sweetest bf i have ever had but what just happened earlier was shocking to me.

Tl:DR; Bf suddenly said i was loose and asks me for a cosmetic surgery for vagina tightening but then reassures me that he loves me no matter what i am and will put up with it.

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* This article was originally published here

What do you think of this situation...

Im a guy 33, been dating a girl 27 for almost 3 years. I love her and I am contemplating on proposing within the next 6-12months.

Last 2 months however, she started acting a bit colder, a bit snappy and irritated. She was busy at work a lot so I thought that maybe she is just tired and let her have some space.

Last week, she said she will to visit her hometown with her sister 3 hours north because her parent's home needs renovation and she wanted to see what needs to be done because she's been saving up. She said she has a lot of relatives there so she will stay there for around 5 days.

3-4 days before she left there, she wanted to do some shopping. She works hard, but because my salary is much higher than hers, I thought I would cover it. She bought 3 sets of Bras, some new make up (she kept consulting with her female coworker for some reason) even though I was right there. Then she went for a hair treatment and got her nails done.

Then she left. We usually text each other (and occasionally call) in the morning, throughout the day and in the evening, lovey type of stuff. We kept doing that the first few days, although she kept going to sleep earlier than usual because she was very tired.

As the weekend started she messaged me saying that her aunts and her sister are going to the beach town (a few hours west of her location). I told her to have fun and enjoy.

I really missed her on the weekend because we usually meet those days. So I decided to call her at night...as I am about to dial, I get a message like: I am going to sleep now, love you, good night...

I still dialed because she just sent the message...no response.

I felt kind of lonesome, so I decided to call her the next morning and I was getting a weird feeling. No response. Half hour later she messaged me with sleepy photo sitting on the toilet of the hotel she was at, saying she just woke up. I asked her to call when she can... and take some snaps of the beach :)

She replied that her aunt fell down the stairs and needs to go to hospital, so no beach today. I asked her how was her aunt, and that I hope nothing is serious.

Evening comes around and she said that it's rainy and her aunt is not seriously hurt. I tried to dial her phone...no response.

Maybe this is too early to tell, but I have been cheated on once before (a long time ago, but still) so maybe I am overreacting. I miss her a lot and I've been saying this in the messages, I don't understand why she won't give me a quick 10-15 minute call.

Any thought on what may be happening?

TL; DR: My girlfriend went on vacation, she messages cute things, but never picks up the calls.

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* This article was originally published here

Advice on how I (36M) can survive a visit from my parents (60s M&F)

Hopefully this fits this sub. I live an 8 hour flight from my parents, and they have come to visit me for the first time since COVID. However, I'm a very independent person, and having to spend every waking hour with them is driving me insane. In particular is car rides - my Dad insists on sitting in the front seat, and proceeds to fidget constantly and breathe loudly (due to COPD and asthma). This is completely unintentional on his part (as in, he does not realise he is doing it), and for some reason this just triggers a response from me. It's like nails on a chalkboard, and makes the drive excruciating.
I've managed to arrange a day off from them this week, but between now and then I have to survive a 3 day roadtrip with several hours of driving each way. This reaction of mine is entirely on my end, and there's nothing to confront my Dad about ("hey Dad, can you not breathe as loudly as you do?" Is not exactly going to work). Does anyone have any tips how I can manage my annoyances without having a breakdown which would sour their visit for them?

For some background relevance, my relationship with my parents is OK, not terrible but not super close either (I left my home country when I was 21 and have never wished to move back, to the slight disappointment of my parents). I have been suffering from mental health issues for the past 2 years, but I am slowly improving and talking to a therapist regularly. My parents know this, but don't want to talk about it (they're old and British - that's just the way things work there). I also have no SO to help out with the 'burden'.
I feel like this is a ridiculous thing to ask in this sub, but I would like to maintain my relationship as it is with my parents, and at this rate either I'm going to snap at my Dad for what are pretty minor things, or going to have an anxiety attack bought on by the thought of having to suffer through another several hour car journey. In particular I'm hoping for any healthy coping mechanisms when I'm driving and find myself starting to get annoyed but cannot remove myself from that situation.
Thanks in advance for any advice.
TL:DR: Parents visiting, some aspects of how they exist are excruciatingly annoying to me, need advice on how to survive another week with then.

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* This article was originally published here

How, where and when do you tell a guy that you are not looking for anything serious?

Guess the title says it all, I(F29) don’t know how and when to tell someone that you would like your relationship to be only casual. I came out of a serious relationship in July and I am just not ready to commit to a new person yet. I also enjoy the freedom that comes with being single and lastly, I haven’t fully healed from the last relationship.

Last week though, I hooked up with a new coworker (M25) at an office party (just lots of kissing, nothing more) and it was kind of said between the lines that we would do more than that at the next party, which is about a week from now (office parties are a big thing where I work). We haven’t had any kind of talk about what we each are/are not looking for, but I just want to make it clear where I stand without ruining the fun and flirty vibe. When and where is the best time to tell him? And how should I do it without making it sound l assume he is interested in something serious?

TLDR: I don’t how and when to tell a guy that I am not insterested in something serious

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* This article was originally published here

My boyfriend (22M) and I (23F) had a fight and he is ignoring me. Any advice?

I (23F) had a big fight with my bf (22M) on Tuesday. I’m going to give you a little background: we’ve been together for 2 years and now I’m in the process of changing a lot of things in my life, first of all my studies... bc I’m not happy with what i’m doing and doesn’t make me proud. Let’s say he isn’t very happy about that. He is a very busy guy he works a full time job and he has decided to attend night school to finally get his high school diploma. Nothing makes me more happy and proud. So when Tuesday he called me telling me he had be chosen to do something about work related, I was happy for him but i was concerned. I told him that if we try to do a lot of things simultaneously, we end up doing nothing. And oh my god, I released hell on Earth. He said: I’m not like you, that I can’t finish anything... he was referring to collage. He said that on purpose just to hurt me. We haven’t spoken since. Yesterday I texted him and called him, he said that he would call me back. He didn’t.

So you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to put my most beautiful dress, put some makeup on and hang out with my friends. I’m not stay here at home crying, and waiting for some child to grow up. I’m not going to cry today, maybe tomorrow but not today.

It’s going to be his bday in few days what should I do? I mean I have his gift plus I planned for him a surprise. Plus, I think we should confront each other.

TL;DR; : My boyfriend doesn’t want to talk to me, but I need to get to the bottom of it.

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* This article was originally published here

Is my [M/24] friend [F/21] being friendly or something more?

I’ve met up with her a few times before leaving the country and both times, she’s been very touchy (of course I reciprocate back appropriately). Touchy in the sense that she puts her hands on my chest, gets close to me, holds hands or prolongs the touch.

She invited me over for lunch and then said “can you help me with my luggage on my bed”. Didn’t make anything of it but we chilled in her room and got close (made no move)

Next time I seen her we had wine and then went out to the town while basically holding hands the entire time (we were being friendly and joking around and what not). We end up going back to her place and just kinda spooned (ngl I was being touchy but she was cool with it clearly) — again no move made cause I suck with signs

We call/FT here and there and have actually become close friends. We joke about sexual things here and there of course, one time we FT’d and she straight up told me she’s not wearing a bra, or I’d be making jokes about “taking long”, or she’d joke about her ass and I’d go along with it of course

Can someone explain to me what’s going on?

——-

TL;DR: don’t know if my friend is being friendly or likes me or any of the above

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* This article was originally published here

my ex and I are thinking about getting back together. should he tell me his indiscretions?

My ex (27m) and I (39f) are seriously thinking about getting back together. There were some serious trust violations on his part but if we do get back together I'm putting great emphasis on trust building. I've read that the first part of rebuilding trust is putting everything out in the open. I also believe this will help me start to trust him more, as he had a habit of keeping things from me when we were together.

I believe he should tell me everything that happened while we weren't together. I already told him everything, for the most part when it happened or soon after. He doesn't want to tell me anything (hes told me about a couple of girls that were flirting with him but wont answer any of my questions or tell me anything else. He says its none of my business and won't affect our relationship. I told him i needed a show of good faith that he won't keep things from me in the future.

Another thing to note is that before he told me about the girls flirting with him he told me some bu))$h1t story (I guess to try to shut me up) but i saw right through it and he finally admitted those couple things.

What do you all think? I think that if we weren't planning on getting back together then no, it would be none of my business. But we are planning to be together and I feel like if he does this it will start to establish trust.

Tl:dr: ex and I are considering reconciliation but he won't tell me what he did when we broke up

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* This article was originally published here

Getting over best friend crush

For the past two years I’ve (25M) been hanging out / started a deep friendship with a guy (27M). We have a lot in common, we have a great time and have good chemistry.

Very soon in our friendship we started hanging out a lot, we slept over and cuddled and overall I always felt that there was something else that I was feeling and I had the gut instinct that it was reciprocated.

Last year I came clean to him and told him I had romantic feelings towards him, he said he wasn’t ready for that conversation so I understood and shelved that for a while and stayed his friend.

A few months ago, after having a very deep conversation I confessed to him again that my feelings had not dissipated and I still liked him romantically. This time we did talk and he told me that he felt the same, that me being with him makes him a better person, that he also thinks we have a lot in common and that he wants to keep me forever in his life.

I ask him if he would be interested in going out on a date to try and see how we feel (we hang out alone but not in a date setting) and he agrees. When the date comes he acts distant, doesn’t want to answer any questions about our romantic feelings and overall feels cold. He ends up telling me that he doesn’t wanna hurt me because all his last relationships have ended because of his issues and basically told me that the minute I left his house the day we talked he realized he is not ready for a relationship.

I felt hurt but I understood. You can’t force anyone to love you. We hung out less because we got busy but still talked everyday. My romantic feelings are still there but I know I can’t act on them.

A few days ago we had another conversation about issues with his family and the future. He also told me that he started going out with / dating someone (I suspected it since he was acting weird) and that he was happy and liked the guy and wanted to let me know because he knew how I felt.

I said i’m okay because I can’t change his mind or make him like me and I appreciate him telling me, which is true. But it’s also true that I feel used or lied to. Why didn’t he tell me before that it was not that he wasn’t ready for a relationship but just that he didn’t want one with me?

I feel that I need to distance myself because seeing him post things with that guy makes me feel weird (so I don’t know if I would feel comfortable hanging out in a group setting with him). Don’t mistake me, I am happy for him because he deserves joy. But I also deserve peace.

Is it unfair that I want to distance myself from him? I still love him as a friend and I know that I don’t want a romantic relationship with him because this whole thing has hurt me deeply.

I just want to heal without finishing a friendship that makes me feel good (in the friend part, that is) Any advice?

TL;DR : Best friend / crush / guy I like romantically has told me he liked me but isn’t ready for a relationship. He started dating someone and I feel hurt. How can I distance without ending our friendship?

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* This article was originally published here

I [25M] messed up with a good girl [22F]

OK, so I [25] met this girl [22] three months ago and the spark was there instantly. I invited her for a date afterwards and it was a great summer, we clicked and could talk about anything. I could see that she’s head over heels into me. First, I was very attentive but after some time I started to have these moments on our dates when I just fell silent (I was still processing my family loss, I guess, I am better now) and she noticed this. At the end of August, she started studying (she’s a nurse and worked at hospital where my grandpa died in August, she knew him) so school and work both got into way. She had less time and we didn’t see each other for almost two weeks. This is where I fucked up royally. I got drunk one night (couldn’t bear memories of grandpa) and kinda blamed her for not wanting to see me over text (she was on the night shift…) and that she has time for her friends (some of them male which I ofc didn’t forget to mention..) and not me. I must mention that after grandpa’s death I was under and I saw everything negatively and was paranoid, but that’s no excuse for this shit I pulled ofc.

She said that I should have say something earlier about me wanting to see her and that she’s seriously disappointed, didn’t expect this shit from me. She also mentioned that she noticed me being distrait and “not there” sometimes on our dates and that she doesn’t even know if I want her. Next morning I explained and apologized profusely. Man, I know it was short term relationship but I can’t stop blaming myself, because I am not like this, I get that she had important things to do, I would never do that again, especially now when I kinda processed my family loss and doing better. We sporadically made contact since then, sometimes it was her, sometimes me, she said she needed time to process this and that she was disappointed by what happened. Our last conversation a week ago was me asking her if she wants to talk in person. She replied yes, I asked when, she texted wait a minute and didn’t get back to me at all. I texted next day if she’s ok and she just texted “Yes 😂”.

Sorry, this post is a mess, I just poured all my thoughts here. I know I fucked up badly and created this image of me being needy and childish but I was just down mentally. Is there a chance to fix this? Why did she agree to meet, then kinda ghosted me when I specifically said in that text that I will respect if she doesn’t want to see me again.

I know, I know, there are millions of women in the world. But I want to know if there’s a chance here, maybe if I kinda disappear? And sorry, English is not my first language.

tl;dr: I acted needy and childish with a girl because I had issues and now I miss her so much. Is there a chance to fix this? I feel guilty every day.

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* This article was originally published here

Clingy girlfriend gave me and my roommates COVID. Toxic behavior or am I overthinking?

My girlfriend (24F) and I (26M) have been seeing each other for a little over a year. She’s really nice to me but she’s not very independent, and sometimes she makes me feel like she wouldn’t be able to survive without me.

She recently caught COVID (we don’t live together) and I suggested that maybe she could self isolate, and I could support her over the phone instead of having her coming over like she usually does.

I don’t mind taking the risk myself and getting COVID (although I prefer not to), but the main thing I’m worried about is that I live with multiple roommates right now and my younger brother is staying with us, and I don’t think they’d be comfortable with her breaking quarantine just because she wants to see me.

Anyways, I talked to her about my concerns and she was really upset that I didn’t think she should visit. She said I wasn’t being supportive and I was being a bad boyfriend for not taking care of her while she’s sick.

I would come to her place but it’s physically too small for the both of us, and she’s technically not allowed to have guests.

So eventually I gave in and she ended up coming over and getting everyone sick, and they weren’t super happy about that.

I don’t know what else I could’ve done in this situation. Does anyone have any advice?

I can’t tell if her clinginess is toxic or if I’m just overthinking things.

Would appreciate any suggestions!

TLDR: My girlfriend got really upset at me for wanting her to self-isolate when she had COVID. I just wanted her to self-isolate because I didn’t want her to get my roommates sick, but she ended up coming over anyways. We all ended up getting sick as a result. How should I have handled this?

submitted by /u/Angels_Ten
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* This article was originally published here

I(40M) accidentally called my wife (36F) fat..

My wife(36f) and me (40M) were having a conversation about our past, which was bumpy.

I said something along the lines of - “She was skinny, that’s why” - which I’m not saying is right by any means. I am in the wrong 100%, but what I said is said and can’t be taken back now.

I made the mistake of calling my wife “thick”, which equates to being fat. I did not intend to hurt her feelings, I honestly wasn’t thinking when I said it.

Now the question is - “why wasn’t I skinny enough?” - and she is not talking to me until I have a reply to that. How do I answer without fucking everything up?

TL;DR - When talking of the past, I called my wife fat, how do I answer “why wasn’t I skinny enough?”

submitted by /u/PudgTV1
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* This article was originally published here

How To Become More Desirable (22M)

I have always struggled with fitting in. Never had a girlfriend, a few friends that I cherish, etc., but I have never been sought after romantically or friendship-wise (though I care a lot more about the romantic side.) I was bullied through all of middle school and part of high school, and was completely isolated during that time due to it. I now have extremely low confidence, I don’t like my body because my family allowed to get fat at a young age (to which I then put my mind to it and lost it, but there are still some stretch-marks and I now have a skinny-fat build), and my overall mental health is not the best by any means. I want to become a high-value person, having lots of connections for friends and romantic interests, but I don’t know where to begin my self-improvement. I’m really struggling and it’s slowly eating away at me.

TL;DR: I want ti become a high-value man after struggling with body dysmorphia, poor mental health, and lack of people “wanting” me, but don’t know where or how to begin.

submitted by /u/Icy_Waltz_1706
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* This article was originally published here