I was seeing someone years ago briefly, but I developed very strong feelings. He was a friend before this and was at the end of a separation , moved out and almost divorced. He ended up reconciling and went back for his kids. He apologized profusely and I was hurt but kept it cordial at work.
He tried to be friends with me, but I couldn’t because there were too many feelings still there. He accepted that. I got back with an ex who had showed me at the time that he was willing to make the changes to be better. Things got a lot better with him and we got engaged. The other guy heard about this and was obviously upset. I had no idea he still had feelings for me. One night, he approached me and asked me if there was a chance in the future , told me he wants to grow from this and that his marriage was really ending. I, of course said I’m happy where I’m at and I’m sorry. He accepted that but looked pretty hurt by it.
I left the job and got married , my husband started drinking again, lying, staying out all night and just disrespectful behavior. I talked to him over and over and it didn’t change. I’m getting divorced now because of it.
I always thought about this other person. I really fell for him and we just always clicked. I saw the other guy out a few months ago when I wasn’t in a very good place emotionally. I was sure I was divorcing just needed to make the move. I was already sleeping in the spare room. I told the other guy what was going on with my marriage and just vented. He listened and then told me that we have a connection that he can’t find with anyone else, it was always bad timing with us and never stopped feeling the same way. I was shocked and didn’t know he felt this way. I was so emotionally unavailable and a shell of myself that I didn’t believe anyone could. I kind of pushed him away and kept it very friendly. He talked about the past and how it was his fault everything that went down before. All my feelings came back. Not sure if they ever went away. I didn’t show him this though and now I regret it. I kept it very casual because I was trying to do the right thing and I was still married even though I was leaving. He is divorced now.
We didn’t speak until a few months later when my dad passed away. Then after that I saw him out again. I was separated at this point with no chance of reconciliation. He was being cordial and I got a little tipsy. I don’t really drink, but went a little overboard and hung all over him. He was receptive and he kissed at the end of the night. I didn’t hear from him after this. I texted him the next week to say thanks for looking out for me (he got me home safe). He said no problem always good to see you and left it at that. These feelings were really sitting in with me. I then texted him 2 weeks later and asked him to call me. I just needed to tell him. He called and I told him I’m sorry for those times I pushed you away and acted like I didn’t have feelings for you because you always meant the world to me. He said don’t ever worry about that and that we always had a good friendship. Then he offered to be there for me when ever I need him. I didn’t say anything else about the way I felt because he said the friends thing. It’s been a few weeks and I haven’t contacted him. I think about him all the time. He is someone I just click with in so many ways. I don’t know what to do !!
TL;DR: guy I fell for years ago reconciled with his wife and I was hurt because I fell for him. He apologized and we were friends before. I got engaged and he asked if there was a chance in the future and that he was leaving this time and wants to change and grow. I told him no. I’m getting divorced now due to alcoholism and still have feelings for this guy. He opened up to me a few months ago and I pushed him away because of my situation. Told me he never got Over me etc. Now, months later , I am separated and filed for divorce and he is keeping it friendly after I told him my feelings.
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