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Monday, October 10, 2022

Advice on how I (36M) can survive a visit from my parents (60s M&F)

Hopefully this fits this sub. I live an 8 hour flight from my parents, and they have come to visit me for the first time since COVID. However, I'm a very independent person, and having to spend every waking hour with them is driving me insane. In particular is car rides - my Dad insists on sitting in the front seat, and proceeds to fidget constantly and breathe loudly (due to COPD and asthma). This is completely unintentional on his part (as in, he does not realise he is doing it), and for some reason this just triggers a response from me. It's like nails on a chalkboard, and makes the drive excruciating.
I've managed to arrange a day off from them this week, but between now and then I have to survive a 3 day roadtrip with several hours of driving each way. This reaction of mine is entirely on my end, and there's nothing to confront my Dad about ("hey Dad, can you not breathe as loudly as you do?" Is not exactly going to work). Does anyone have any tips how I can manage my annoyances without having a breakdown which would sour their visit for them?

For some background relevance, my relationship with my parents is OK, not terrible but not super close either (I left my home country when I was 21 and have never wished to move back, to the slight disappointment of my parents). I have been suffering from mental health issues for the past 2 years, but I am slowly improving and talking to a therapist regularly. My parents know this, but don't want to talk about it (they're old and British - that's just the way things work there). I also have no SO to help out with the 'burden'.
I feel like this is a ridiculous thing to ask in this sub, but I would like to maintain my relationship as it is with my parents, and at this rate either I'm going to snap at my Dad for what are pretty minor things, or going to have an anxiety attack bought on by the thought of having to suffer through another several hour car journey. In particular I'm hoping for any healthy coping mechanisms when I'm driving and find myself starting to get annoyed but cannot remove myself from that situation.
Thanks in advance for any advice.
TL:DR: Parents visiting, some aspects of how they exist are excruciatingly annoying to me, need advice on how to survive another week with then.

submitted by /u/beardy_sage
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