(Throwaway because he follows my main)
So my bf and I are both 18, which makes us technically adults but really we're both basically teenagers, since I am still in high school, he should be, and we both still live with our parents. We've been dating for a little over a year, and we're long distance. (Only have seen each other irl a couple times.)
I love my bf so much and he's perfect to me in almost every way. He's a huge support system to me and I don't think I can handle losing him. But at the same time this has been going on way too long and idk how much longer I'll put up with it.
He has no job. He doesn't go to school. He's not even really working on a GED, and overall he seems to have basically no motivation.
His parents pulled him out of school in mid-9th grade because of COVID then just never sent him back. (His parents SUCK and do absolutely nothing to help motivate him.) He did an online school program for one school year, but after that summer just never went back to it and he hasn't been in school the entire time we've been dating. He keeps saying he's going to get a GED but he hasn't even studied for it and he doesn't have any way to pay for one, so who knows if that will ever even happen.
He doesn't work and never has. He claims he's looking for a job but I don't know how much effort he's * actually * putting into it.
So, between dropping out of school, having no job, and not actually working towards a GED, he does nothing. He sits around and plays video games and talks to me, that's it.
I go to school, work, and have a lot more responsibilities/chores at home. I'm actually putting in effort every day and it sucks to do all that then call him and realize he has zero responsibility. Im just so tired of him doing literally nothing at all, it doesn't feel fair to me since I'm actually putting in effort.
And now at this point I'm worried about him holding me back. I'm ready to start my adult life in less than a year. I have money saved up, I'm about to graduate high school (I'm graduating half a year early), and I have plans for a career. But him? He probably won't even have a high school diploma or GED by the end of the year, and he has zero money at all and no job in sight.
I'm certainly not paying for everything. So I'd have to put living with him off until he saves enough money which at this point will take forever. And I'm not about to be 18/19 with him still not at the very least graduated from high school. We. Need. Money. And he needs to help make some of it. It isn't realistic to be able to move on with my life like this.
Also, it just bothers me. He talks about my job and school like they're so easy, and he doesn't value the hard work I'm putting in at all. I'm tired of him acting like he has any ground to stand on even remotely, because he has literally zero clue what responsibility is.
I know that if it gets to the point where I am graduated and moving onto trade school and he still hasn't even gotten the job, I'm gonna have to leave him. It'll suck and probably be the worst Day of my entire life but I really can't stand to be with someone like that.
But the way he talks it seems like he's actively looking for a job and he'll get his GED as soon as he has money for it. That's what he says, and the way he talks about it makes me want to believe him. And if he just got a job and started saving money, everything will be okay. Our relationship would be basically perfect.
But it's been a year now and still nothing has changed. I don't know what the right thing to do is, should I wait around to see if he does it or just go now? I don't know.
It's such a hard thing to deal with because I love him so much, but this is causing me a ton of stress and realistically I can't keep going on for much longer.
Yes, I have talked to him about this. I bring it up all the time, at least a couple times a week. But he always just tells me he's trying and no one will hire him.
PLEASE HELP ME. What do I do??
TLDR; my bf has no job and doesn't go to school because he dropped out. He claims to be trying but after a year there's no change and I can't wait around for much longer.
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