We met when we were 14 and she was everything I have ever wanted and craved, everything I had ever appreciated, in a human. Before her, I used to feel like a lost child and she is the only one to see me for who I am and love me for it. She not only accepts my faults but loves them because they are her faults too. She appreciates my virtues because they're her virtues too. My parents and sisters love me but they don't understand me. She does. We share the same soul.
I feel like the happiest woman on earth when I am with her, like nothing could ever go wrong. With her, life is poetry. I would happily burn to death as long as she is happy and with me. The problems start when we are away. This year she had to be away for a few months and we had no contact except on phone. I was so depressed nothing would make happy. Every single second without her was pure agony. I was so bad I even bought poison because I couldn't stand to live without her, but couldn't take it because how would I love her if I died? Yes, I live to love her. There is no purpose in my life except for loving her and this makes me scared of what would happen if I lost her. She is human, she could die any day. I wouldn't be able to live without her. I cannot imagine life without her. I sometimes get nightmares and intrusive thoughts of bad things happening to her and it makes me shriek and shake and cry in agony. If someone actually harmed her or if something bad happened to her, I wouldn't be able to live with it. I would gladly feed myself to rats to save her, but I cannot always be there to save her. If she died before me I'm sure I would just kill myself and put myself out of the agony of being without her. I can't be happy without her. I am in tears even as I write this post.
TLDR: I am so attached to my lover that if we ever got apart I won't be able to live. I've already come close to killing myself because she was away for a while.
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* This article was originally published here
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