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Friday, October 28, 2022

My bf (32m) won't stop groping me (30f) during the night and I'm losing sleep and starting to feel avoidant

Firstly, excuse the formatting, I'm on mobile.

We've been together over 5 years and whilst I love him, this is an issue that's always been somewhere in the relationship. When we first started dating he would be very handsy and always try to initiate PDA, which I'm really not into. He'd ignore my refusals to sit on his knee or try make out with me in public, thinking I was just shy, which I was, but also just didn't want to because it feels awkward in public. I'd tell him no, but he'd still persist.

As the relationship has gone on he's always been a person who can't stay still in bed, he fidgets a lot, and hell tend to grope me when I just want to sleep, or I'll wake up to him groping me when again, I just want to get some rest as I work pretty hard jobs. If he's not groping me he's moving me around trying to get me to lie on him or putting his arm under my neck. I tend to wake up cranky and with a sore neck most of the time. I've lost my temper a few times and he will stop, but ultimately he goes back to his ways.

Currently the situation seems to be getting worse. We currently are only living together partly as we are selling our house and moving in with my parents temporarily until we find a new property. So I only see him for half the week until our house sells. I've currently took on a new job and am working double the hours I originally worked, so I'm quite tired due to my body adjusting to these extra 15 hours a week, as well as other external issues, including my mental health. I don't know if it's because he misses me with being apart more now, but it's really starting to drive a wedge between us for me.

I feel reluctant to be intimate because I'm so tired of constantly being treated like a doll, being picked up and moved around and groped, despite me rejecting this. It's a huge turn off to wake up constantly with someone groping you before you even know what day it is. I feel like an object.

Despite all this, I love him and he is a great partner. He treats me so well, cooks, pulls his weight around the home, takes care of me when I'm sick, it's just this one issue and I don't know how else to get through to him that it's really putting me off the relationship. I've flat out told him to stop, I've sent articles of the impacts of this, I've sent tiktoks of people talking about how they feel when it happens to them. My only other option is to tell him it's making me want to pull away more, which I'm sure I probably have done, but it doesn't sink in for long.

I'm just stuck.

Tldr: My bf is constantly groping me or moving me around when I'm trying to sleep despite me telling him not to, and it's putting me off the relationship

submitted by /u/LumaBones
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* This article was originally published here

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