I know you can’t control people, obviously. They can be friends with whoever they want but it doesn’t change the fact that i’m still hurt and confused.
For context, my ex was a cheating, abusive, and narcissistic jerk. These friends even agree to this and often call him a jerk too, saying what he did to me was awful and unforgivable and they’ll “protect” me if he ever tries anything.
The problem is… for the amount of shit talking they do they STILL hang out with him. They’ll literally tell me to my face “Ugh he was such a jerk today, so sorry you had to go through that” or “He threw up at the party we went to without you, he’s so stupid.” THEN WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH HIM?? Literally WHY are you agreeing and telling me these things along with my complaints and still hang out w him. It comes off as so fake and disrespectful to me.
These people are my only friends but it’s so aggravating to come out of a vent session about my feelings and codependency on him for them to go “I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that. Just know we fully support and seen everything he did to you if he tries to do anything” and then two hours later see them playing together on overwatch.
(If you want an example of how shitty my ex was, overwatch is a perfect example. When me and my ex were dating I begged him to play overwatch w me, I even offered to buy it. He said it was completely stupid and I’m stupid for liking it. Now that we’re broken up, hes now playing it because he saw his favorite twitch streamer play it.)
I asked one of them, let’s call David, why they still talk after he explained how pathetic my ex was. He said he “felt bad” and “didn’t want to be mean.” But what I don’t understand is they have the nerve to say all they want behind is back and then acting all buddy buddy with me. Who knows if they’re doing the same to me.
I feel so hurt yet numb at the same time. I just want to start over with new friends and a new environment but it’s impossible.
It’s so frustrating that the only thing I can do is sit through it. I’m currently in online community college right now and it is so lonely and I’d be even more lonely without them. I have no way of making more friends for at least two years till I’m able to transfer. My best bet is dealing with it but I don’t know if I can take it anymore. What do I even do?
TL:DR! My friends still talk to my ex despite constantly dogging on him and agreeing he was horrible to me and his horrible to them. I have no idea why they would do this. I’m also confused and left wondering if I’m better off being lonely, or if there’s any other options?
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