I’m a 24F married to 25M. If that matters. Been together 7 years married 1 year
What are the boundaries that you have that you expect from your partner when in comes to porn or looking at profiles on social media? Even if it is just fantasy, and it makes me super uncomfortable and it feels like a betrayal is that enough reason to make it a boundary?
I came across my husbands porn on his computer when I was going to order something online. I turned it on and there it was on the screen. 3 different pages of porn. I’m cool with porn in general. But the pages he was looking at made me feel uncomfortable. Maybe I need to reassess what is a good boundary to have. I’m also pregnant and hormonal, but he hasnt initiated sex with me for years. He said it’s because I kept pushing him away when he asked years ago. It’s all because we did it dry and it would hurt and its my first and only relationship so I didn’t say anything. I’ve been trying to solve this issue by wearing lingerie and actually encouraging him to ask for sex again. My first trimester of pregnancy made me sick all day so there was no way it was possible. Then he said that’s why he didn’t initiate sex because I was too sick. So he’s been watching porn and of course I knew that. So I’ve communicated with him that I want him to be sexual with me and initiate sex. He doesn’t even make out with me. We’ve had a conversations about it already but his argument is it’s just a fantasy and he doesn’t need to watch porn if we were actually having sex.
Yes this is also making me insecure. My body has changed so much since I got pregnant. I told him I want to feel wanted which I haven’t self in a long time. He’s also stated that it’s just porn and i should trust him. And I if I don’t trust him it’s my problem. Am I being crazy? Please ask questions if im leaving anything out. I’m not the best storyteller!
Tl;dr need advice on healthy boundaries
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