My girlfriend [22F] is extremely depressed and I [M22] don't know how to handle it anymore.

We've been together for around 2 years. 1.5 years have been long distance. She lives in a rural area.

It has been around a year since she has become extremely depressed. She refuses to take meds, as well as online therapy (as face-to-face would be too far for her).

Talking to her feels like a chore. Every 2 days she mentions how she will finally start changing and gives me spiritual quotes but ends up doing nothing. She never has anything to talk about. I ask how her day went and she says she did nothing/lay in bed/was thinking. I have tried supporting her. Talking to her for hours daily about her thoughts, researching, and how to overcome etc. I tried having us doing something together, like learning a language on duolingo together, making workout goals, watching a series together, studying together (she has university entrance exams in a month). But it all ends in doing nothing. I'm genuinely exhausted of hearing her spiritual talks that motivate her for an hour and end up in absolutely nothing. I legit don't mind having any kind of conversation with her but she doesnt have anything to say at all and I end up making the conversation.

I tried asking for a break but she went batshit crazy and ended up crying heavily, blocking me and unblocking me repeatedly and spamming my phone with 1000+ messages.

I want to be with her, I'm not physically close to her and I don't know if we will be able to meet (as she doesn't seem to have any worked out goals and motives outside of laying in bed). My mood goes completely down when I talk to her and it makes me feel stuck as I can't fully feel content with the person I want to be with.

I know this whole post makes me sound like an asshole, but I also want to focus on my career, family and myself. And I don't want breakup to be an option here.

TLDR: Girlfriend has been depressed for over a year. I tried supporting her, but end up feeling stuck myself. Meds and therapy have been refused and breakup isn't an option

submitted by /u/anabeluga19
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* This article was originally published here