I’m (20sM) in a relationship with someone (20sF) that none of our parents or friends think we should be in

We met in college, we’re both in our early 20s. We’ve been dating for about a year. Things started out like any relationship does with a nice honeymoon period. After that nice month and a half, things just started going downhill so quickly.

Since then, we have these periods where we fight with one another in these massive blowouts a few times a week, to then having a pretty good week or even a pretty good month. The cycle always seems to reset itself. Despite us having a really good month together, we’ve been fighting nonstop over various issues for the past 3 days.

We admittedly both have terrible communication skills in our own ways which only amplifies the intensity of our fights. We are also both in therapy with the topic of our arguments being discussed on both ends, with myself personally trying to use it as an approach to handling conflicts in a healthier way in general.

We do love each other but it seems like we can’t help but be at each other’s throats all the time. We’ve shared so many happy moments together and I don’t take those for granted.

All of our parents have caught on to the pattern. They all see us when we bicker and fight so frequently. My parents, for one, think that I should leave her as they don’t think we are compatible. I can only imagine her parents think the same after seeing the hell we put each other through. The same can be said about our friends. Both of our circles of friends generally don’t think our relationship is healthy for either of us.

10 months of this relationship have been the exact same in terms of the amount of horrible fights we have that literally last for hours at a time. I’m not sure which hurts more, the idea of leaving her or staying with her. Despite the happiness she gives me it just pains me to keep going through all of this over and over again. Are there any other things that could be worked on? I’m not sure what else to try.

tl;dr We fight a lot but still love each other, practically everyone in our lives is telling us to leave the other. I’m not sure what else to try to make things better between us.

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* This article was originally published here