Hi all. I've been with this girl for about 3 months. We're in love and together always, just aren't official. Our relationship began only a few weeks after she was dumped by her now ex boyfriend of over a year. Yeah we moved fast.
Sometimes, not constantly, she compares my actions to her ex's, but in a good way. She says how much better i treat her than her ex, how i do things for her that he would never do, or how ive got a future when he doesn't. She tells me how she used to beg for things like flowers, compliments and she loves that i do those things just because. Twice she told me about times where he made her really upset. She even said he didn't like sex so she had to ask for it. I usually say how thats terrible and im happy to make her happy.
I'm truly flattered by it but also think its weird. I can't help but think she's not over him yet, especially since she was dumped by him. I understand she's barely had time to process the breakup so if she feels comfortable with me enough to share her frustrations then I'm there to listen and let her know im happy im better for her. She's said how she doesn't miss him, doesn't want him back, but she never said she was over him.
There was one time she compared me to him differently than the other times. We were getting in her car and she said how her ex used to open her door for her so I started doing it every time. And another time she told me about some joke they would say before getting in the car. There was one time after sex when she told me about something she used to ask her ex to do for her and he never would.
I trust her, she says all the time how she really loves me, how I'm the best guy she's ever loved and had sex with, and how she wants to take our relationship very seriously. I've asked her to be my gf and she said she wants to wait and not rush as to not mess up our relationship which has potential. Now I wonder if that also has something to do with her ex.
I can't understand why she could be thinking about her ex after i do good things. I feel like i could be insecure or overthinking , so i ask for advice on how to handle this and I appreciate it greatly.
tl;dr: my girl often says how im better than her ex from a few momths ago, or talks about times he made her upset. Is this a red flag?
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