English is not my first language and I'm in a bad place mentally so please excuse any spelling/grammatical errors.
My parents keep asking me to intervene in their fights. We live in a conservative society and they cannot separate without jeopardising my marriage prospects. They're fighting now because my dad sold our house years ago and still hasn't invested any of the money. My mom is desperate to invest at least in a house so that they're not left with nothing when the money runs out. My dad wants to invest the money but he's very anxious about spending and it prevents him from doing anything. He also won't agree to anything my mother finds for him. My father is also very stubborn and won't accept anyone's ideas/opinions. He's also emotionally/financially abusive to her.
I lost my job after COVID and am now home studying for a licensing exam to further my career. I have already failed this exam once, leading me to feel like a disappointment. I have tried applying for jobs but I'm either over or under qualified for most of these jobs. The exam is in November and no one wants to take me on at this stage. I also have OCD and have lost access to therapy/medications as we live in a remote area, and I would feel guilty about asking my parents for therapy money. I also have no friends I can move in with and my relatives live far away.
My mother is making staying at home difficult for me because she's getting increasingly frustrated with my father. Every time they fight, she comes to me and asks me to intervene/confront him. This never goes well, as my father then gets incredibly defensive and angry. He'll threaten to off himself, ignore my calls or stop taking his medication, which'll send me into a day long panic attack. I agree that the way he treats her is wrong but I don't know how to tell her that Im not in a place (mentally, financially) to call him out on it. I also don't want my relationship with him to worsen as he's already disappointed with me about the whole joblessness thing.
My mother is relentless in asking me to intervene, she brings it up in every conversation. Every other conversation is about how much my father ruined their life, or how Im bad at things. She's not a bad mom and has been very supporting in the past. Even now if she's not fighting with dad, or worried about the future of our family, she'll be sweet to me.
This is making my anxiety much worse and sometimes I think I should just suck it up and start the conflict with my father, so that she would be satisfied, even if it means my peace is gone. I already feel like a disappointment because of failing this exam, so I feel if I can help her in this way it would be worthwhile?
I'm also worried that my dad might kick me out if I challenge him. I guess I'm just looking for guidance and some perspective out of this hole.
TL:DR: Should I, as a mentally ill jobless freeloader, at least contribute to my household by standing up for my mom?
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