I am graduating this year. I have found an okay paying job and am very excited. My bf and I have been dating for about one and half year now and for the past six months, I’m almost exclusively staying at his place since my flatmate and I don’t get along too well and his place is at a nicer part of the city. My parents are literally paying rent for no reason but they don’t know since I know they might be uncomfortable with my arrangement since we don’t have an official label like engagement in our relationship.
My parents funded all my education and costs and are very loving, very reasonable folks. They live in my country of origin while I live abroad since I started uni. However, I think due to her experience with my father, my mum is very skeptical about my bf and how our relationship dynamics are. She repeated, multiple times, that I am not allowed to move out with my boyfriend because it will allow him to start treating me badly because there would be commitment that binds me. When I said my salary wouldn’t be enough to live comfortably if I rent a studio myself and she offered to give me 6k grant a year to support me in that case.
However, I know that if we have separate houses I’d still stay at my bf’s place next year since he is making more and can afford a better place. It’s going to be a problem, though, because my office is a bit far from the city centre and if we don’t have a reasonable location together, I’ll have a longer commute.
My bf agreed to cover 70% of all expenses of the new place if we move in together (proportionate to how much I will make and his current salary). I am obviously nervous for a case where we might break up and this setup will collapse. However, I am more nervous of my mum’s reaction to this decision. I will have my own money and they cannot deprive me of anything if I do something they don’t like. However I am scared of upsetting her and being on bad terms. She might decide not to assist me financially if I move in with my bf but I will be better of financially if I move in with my bf and will be able to save money too, which is very important to me. However, I don’t want to cut my parents off because they are very important to me and honestly, I want to have multiple support systems in my life.
I know she would be more comfy if we were engaged or something because to her, being bf gf means nothing in terms of commitments. However I think it’s too early for a such thing, so does my boyfriend.
I read that couples who move in together for mainly economic concerns regret it nowadays but I also don’t want to be away from my partner.
My question is, should I try moving in with my bf despite my parents’ reaction? Is it too early for a such commitment? How I should approach to this?
Tl;dr: I want to move in with my bf but my mother opposes it. What I should do?
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* This article was originally published here
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