I (25M) have been seeing my girlfriend (26F) for 18 months and just like each relationship we've had our up and down periods.
We recently had a bit of a heated argument about an ex that's still in her life. This ex has caused a few issues in the past such as trying to manipulate her emotionally on two separate occasions whilst we were together.
We made an agreement to remove ex partners from our lives due to my ex partner also trying to cause issues. I was happy with this and had no issues at all because I feel because my ex had been abusive (like my girlfriends ex was) that it wouldn't be an issue for me to completely cut her out from my life.
The only issue with this was that she had continued to speak to a couple of her ex's whilst I was completely unaware, this very much annoyed me when it slipped out in conversation that she had been in contact. I feel like this clear boundary we had set up had been broken and the trust I have for her had really been put to the test. This personally doesn't feel like a massive ask especially when you have held to your side of the deal.
I strongly still believe her ex still very much has strong feelings for her, from what I've heard about him his life isn't particularly great at the moment and he's miserable which to me the phrase 'grass isn't always greener' comes to mind which is why he seems to be trying to claw back at least something from their relationship.
I have always believed that if you are with someone else, contact with an ex who was abusive and continues to attempt to manipulate feelings cannot be kept as a friend because it and in my experience has made me question myself constantly and feel as if how bad must I be if they can still contact and support a past abuser?
Another thing that doesn't really help my confidence is that when we had an argument at one time she removed all pictures from her social media of the both of us but after almost 3 years apart she still has pictures of them? I don't know if that's either paranoia or something to consider.
Any help would be appreciated!
TLDR girlfriend talks to ex partner, am I thinking straight or just paranoid?
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