Guy(M30) I'm(F26) seeing/working with told me he never felt like this before now ghosted me

I'm (F26) seeing a guy from work (M30). From the day we saw each other we couldn't stop flirting, after a month I asked for his number as he was keep going hot and cold. I knew he was/will be flaky, but I only wanted sexual relationship, so I didn't care.

Texting between us were quiet intense first week (sexting included). He knew what I wanted, but he asked me to take things slow as he wanted to get to know me better. Anyway he isn't into texting or social media so we'd chat for a bit, but every day, and I wasn't mad about it, because me too I'm not that much into texting, and we started going out.

I think important fact I met quiet a few friends of his, I also was introduced as a friend as we just started going out recently.

During the last outing a few days ago we fell out a few times...

Once for something silly and we laughed at it. The second time we fell out because he said something between the lines while we were kissing and getting touchy that he is in demand and that the same evening he received a message from a girl who wanted to sleep with him. I asked him why he's telling me that because it just ruined my mood. He said that from the day I asked his number he rejected every girl as he is serious about me/us. He apologized saying "he had a life before me", and he understand it wasn't the right thing to say....

After a few more drinks he started to talk about my living situation (I still live with my ex as he can't move out because of the finances and difficult housing situation). I said it was not the right time or place to talk about it as both of us were quite drunk and in public, but he kept pushing and asking about our possible future.

I like this guy, but I don't like his lifestyle, and he knows it. I tried to explain my point of view, but he got offended even though he said that I'm right and he likes my honesty also he added that I read him like book. He got emotional during our conversation, he started to tell me about his childhood and that all the men he was surrounded by lived like he does now. He said that he needs someone to change for, as he won't do it for himself. Also, he asked me how he could prove it to me. I just told him If I could see that his behaviour would change towards excessive partying, I'd like to be with him. I was truthful as he was and I told him back how much I liked him.

The next morning I sent him a message saying sorry if by any chance I hurted his feelings as it wasn't my intention also I added that I wanted to see him again, and just to get to know him better.

He texted me back saying that he was glad I was honest and that everything I said was true and that's why he felt shit. He said he want to carry on seeing me, and that he is going back to sleep. I responded with a smile emoji. Now is more than 2 days, he didn't text me, I didn't texted him. Tomorrow I suppose to see him at work, and I don't know what to do. During our last outing, he said 100 times how much he is into me, and that he never felt like this about anyone the way he feels about me. Keep in mind he is 30, and never had a serious relationship. He keep saying that he want to settle down and how much he likes my personality and me in general. Is he ghosting me now I don't understand.

TL;DR I'm seeing a guy from work. We were hanging out, drinking and having fun and he had a melt down, about his feelings towards me. I was honest with him why our future as a couple is questionable, he agreed with what I said, he also said that he want to prove me that he can change. Now he ghosted me for the last two days.

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Sick and tired of my (26F) partner (29M) “keeping the peace”

I (26F) have been in some form of relationship with my partner (29M) for 10 years and living together for 8. He is my one “great love” for all of you greys fans. One HUGE issue that has affected me for the better part of the last 10 years is the discrepancy in how our families treat the respective partner. TLDR at the bottom because this is LONG.

I have a VERY strained relationship with my family 90% of the time. However. They have always treated my partner as a member of the family and welcomed him with open arms. There is a running joke that even when they don’t like me they’ve always loved him. He even stayed with us the first COVID Christmas and my family absolutely rallied with gifts (normally partners just get an inclusion on the card and a token wrap up) so that he wouldn’t feel like crap on the day when myself and my brother had gifts and he just had mine and a few token bits.

My in laws, on the other hand, have never liked me and everyone knows it. SFIL is ambivalent towards me at best and just blindly follows his wife. I first met them 9 years ago when my partner invited me to stay at their house with him in the summer. During that time my MIL (50s F) decided that I was smelly, because I didn’t shower enough - I, at the time, had BRIGHT BLUE hair and was terrified of staining her bathroom, so whilst I actually showered every day, I only washed my hair every other day and apparently that meant I wasn’t showering. This information was relayed to me after the fact alongside the fact that apparently she thought I was a “lazy {female dog}”. She was nice to my face.

We live several hours away so seeing her has never been an issue. I used to show up when I needed to show up and be polite, but that gets draining fast. I would also always buy gifts at Christmas that rarely went acknowledged much less reciprocated. My partner for the longest time would say absolutely nothing to his mom when she started slagging me off because he wants / wanted to “keep the peace”. This went on for a few years until we had a screaming argument where I told him I couldn’t take it anymore and I wanted out purely based off that and the way it had slowly worn me down over the years.

The double standards came in when his younger brother got his first, more serious girlfriend. She was seemingly welcomed in to the family with open arms and that stung a little but I wasn’t bothered really. It was actually my partner who picked up on, and took issue with the double standards there. Some of which included:

1) I was snarked at / almost berated for choosing not to wear makeup to go out to dinner in torrential rain. BILs ex never wore any to any sort of dinner / outing she went on with them and had nothing said to her.

2) MIL invited BILs ex to go on holiday with them / be with them at family events / come over for Christmas but made it very clear recently that I would not be welcome on their upcoming trip / family events etc.

3) I was told I had dressed inappropriately in the house but again BILs ex and I had a very similar fashion sense. The only difference was she was thin and I am not.

And it’s now gotten to the point where even my partner cannot deny that there is clearly an issue.

However he refuses to confront her about it because “he wants to keep the peace” and “nothing is going to change because this is how she is”. But I told him ca. 7 years ago that I didn’t want to marry him because of how he lets his family treat me, and now it’s something that’s seriously on the cards for us I need him to step up because what I said all those years ago still stands. We’ve also had a few pregnancy “scares” recently and I would NOT be comfortable with my child being around any of them for any length of time, especially without me, because I couldn’t trust their dad to step up if they randomly took a dislike to my child because they’re mine. And I need help communicating this to him efficiently because nothing I’m saying atm seems to make sense to him. He has recently agreed to ask her what her problem is next time they speak but he is putting that off.

TLDR - my partner of 10 years’ family has always treated me like garbage and had massive double standards when it comes to me vs the other partners. I don’t want to marry / bring a child into a family like that. How do I tell my partner he cannot carry on “keeping the peace”?

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* This article was originally published here

Protecting your health at the holidays: Avoid 'extreme stress' in relationships - WJXT News4JAX

Protecting your health at the holidays: Avoid 'extreme stress' in relationships  WJXT News4JAX

* This article was originally published here

My fiancé (22M) wants me (22F) to forgive his family for calling me a demon, amongst other things

Hi everyone. My fiancé and I have been dating for almost three years and I had moved in with his family during the Covid phase about a month into our relationship. I understand things moved fast, however it sort of fell into place as I was a student living in a dorm and the dormitories were closing due to the Covid breakout and we thought it would be nice to stay with the family and get to know them for a few weeks.

I (22F) had been living with a cousin due to family troubles and haven’t had a stable home. After some time with my fiancé and his family, I saw stability and love in them so I decided to go for the move.

My fiancés (22M) mother is hardcore religious catholic with the statues and everything. I don’t mind this but she happens to push her religion hard on everyone around her.

Fast forward to September 2022, I was a recent graduate looking for job opportunities. Where we were residing the job market was almost nonexistent and I was left unemployed and looking for work for a few months. I brought up the topic of moving up north to his sister's house to find a job up there. They quickly turned down the conversation due to my fiancé already holding a minimum wage down south and that we needed to leave together.

I was already receiving messages from interested parties regarding opportunities up north so I felt strongly about making this move. I wanted to start making money so that I could start building a future with my fiancé. Aside from all that, ten of us lived in a single-family house. His brother stayed in the basement, his sister and her three kids in a single room, us in one room, and his parents in the master bedroom. Needless to say I needed space to start my career and future.

My fiancés family believes in strong family ethics and they do everything together. His brother, dad, brother-in-law, and uncle all drive trucks. His sister stays at home to watch the kids and his mother has been a stay-at-home mom since he was born. I have this feeling that they want me to follow in their steps and settle down and have kids while my fiancé works hence then stopping me from leaving.

Eventually, I found a job up north that gave me a generous offer well over my starting range and my cousin happened to be moving into her own apartment in the area. I decided to take the leap and told MIL a couple of days before moving out in the middle of September and I would be making the move for the job. Literal moments before telling her about the move, she came rushing home and asked me to babysit her grandkids for the day and abruptly told me that she will be going up north for gastric bypass surgery and wont be back until the day after I would have already moved out. The thing was I had already taken the job offer and needed to move up north at a certain time. We have known that she would be getting the surgery, however, they needed her to go for some testing the day before and dropped the bomb on me out of nowhere.

As my MIL was packing with her daughter, I dropped the news to her and she did not take it well and passive-aggressively told me 'good luck' before leaving with her daughter for the testing. Not five minutes after that she called my fiance at work and told him I would be leaving to go cheat on him and that I can't be trusted and wanted me gone by the next day. I had enough of the drama and everything else and packed what I could for the day. During the whole day, my fiance and his family had back-and-forth arguments over the phone over me. they called me a demon, that I can go to hell, useless, not right for him. His brother threw me under the bus and snitched to his mom that I was bisexual and smoked weed (although I had been clean for 2 years) just to add fuel to the fire. His dad called him stupid for staying with me.

Everyone sort of piled onto me to make me look bad towards his MIL and everything was just going downhill. My fiance admitted mistakenly over the phone when he thought it was muted that I've made him the happiest in his life and that his family makes him miserable. At this point, my fiance was facing eviction and I was willing to take him with me to my cousins. He had to call his job to tell him he was kicked out and wouldn't be going back. His sister made a jab that if my fiance wanted to end up without family like me by leaving, which I thought was very uncalled for.

After hours of agonizing arguments and realizing that they would be losing their son, they were saying that they were sorry and to please don't go that they she will die without her son. I ended up having a heart-to-heart with my fiance and told him to please stay for the sake of keeping his family otherwise he would lose them for good, and I didn't want to be the reason that they broke apart.

Fast forward to today, his MIL has fully recovered from her gastric bypass, and wants to make amends with me. During the two months I've been away from their home, I had broken up with my fiance due to the stress and panic attacks I would get from his family. We got back together after a week and decided to try to heal things. The problem is this: His mother is famous for saying the worst things she can say to someone, apologizing when she is no longer mad, and then repeating that cycle.

Because I don't have much family, I was happy to take in my fiances family as my own. They owned ten dogs that shit and pissed everywhere, I would always vacuum and mop and clean and help tutor his sister's kids. I was always supportive and the moment I decided to move toward my own life, they pushed back. At this point, I feel like my relationship with them is beyond repair as it would require me to allow them to continue to step on me when they choose to, and I don't think anyone would be offering a sincere apology other than her mom, who is bound to repeat the cycle again.

My fiance wants me to speak with his mom so that our issues are resolved. I still feel very hurt and don't want the issue to be pushed under the rug like I know it will be. His other family members are very stubborn in their belief that they are right and I'm confident that they will see nothing wrong in what they have said to me. It is easy to just leave my finance and turn away from this mess, however, I feel devastated that something that is out of my fiance's hands is what would end our relationship.

TLDR; My fiance wants me to speak with his mom to resolve our relationship after she called me some nasty names. I feel strongly against it.

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* This article was originally published here

Help me(m22) pls, I can't stop thinking about her (f20)

I am suffering emotionally. I've been single for the past month, and I definitely have moved on from the end of the relationship. The problem here is that even though I'm not dwelling on the sad ending of my past relationship, I'm stuck on this wonderful lady I've known for a little over a year.

She's more than a lady, she's a DEAR friend of mine, whose conversations, attention, and time I can't ever seem to get enough of. In my bed on sleepless nights, I drift between various thoughts in my head; the thought of me being her man is a recurring one, and one I can't seem to suppress. I started folding origami cranes when I'm lost in thought about her. It's hardly been two weeks and I'm averaging 2 cranes a day.

I know there's a "no-date" window when it comes to recently single people, plus I KNOW that I need to focus on myself. All I can say is, it'll be months before I can see her in person; if she ends up in a relationship before then, no matter my circumstances, I will be HURT. I would be supportive, however.

I'm writing this post so I can avoid the urge to text her. It used to be that I could talk to her freely and look forward to chatting again. Now I fear she'll grow tired of me and will no longer want me as a friend. Once I find the date of when I get to see her again, it'll be marked on the calendar. Until then, I'll treasure her in my memory and in any brief conversation we have; so that when the time comes I can treasure her in person, like I couldn't do when we first met over a year ago.

Its times like these I hope to God women aren't lying to me about the friendzone being a myth.

TLDR: I have a massive crush on a distant friend. I cannot stop thinking about her; I know I'll see her in person soon. I just hope I can see her soon enough so I can tell her.

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* This article was originally published here

How we met: ‘She was bloody gorgeous. As soon as she said hello, I knew I was in trouble’

Andy, 46, and Shalini, 39, met six years ago at a Christmas fair on the Caribbean island of Curaçao. They plan to move in together soon

In 2016, finding love was the last thing on Andy’s mind. A scuba diving accident four years earlier had left him with a spinal cord injury, and his primary focus was recovery. “I am from Curaçao and there isn’t much social security here, so I’d moved back in with my parents for support,” he says. “I spent my time blogging about life with disability and I set up a business selling lanterns made from recycled cans, to make some extra money.”

That December, Andy was invited to a Christmas fair to sell his products. After he set up his stall, he saw a woman behind him, who had arrived late. “Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed she was bloody gorgeous,” he says. Throughout the event, he tried to avoid speaking to her. “I’m a sensitive person and knew I didn’t want to fall for anyone at that time,” he says.

Continue reading...

* This article was originally published here

He wants to convert to Islam

I (25,F) have been seeing this guy (25,M), who is a very kind and lovely person for a couple of weeks. He treats me very respectfully and we seem to have great chemistry. He even gifted me a sentimental necklace, which is something no man has ever done for me. I have been wishing to find a serious man who shows effort and commitment.

Now on to the issue: I am an atheist who left my church and has no plans on having religion in an active form in my life. He used to be an atheist as well until a few years ago (now he believes in god) and wants to convert to Islam. Part of his family comes from an Islamic country in Africa and he wants to fully connect with them through Islam. I have no issue with my partner believing in a higher power or being part of a religion especially if for instance his parents decided that for him as long as he is not practicing or a too devouted believer.

However, this is not the case here. The thing is, he told me that he is in fact planning on actively practicing Islam (No drinking, Praying, taking part in Ramadan, maybe stop eating pork,…). He would not expect me to convert or believe the same but that I respect and support his conversion and practice. What worries me is that he is very young and already so deeply motivated to becoming a part of a another religion and even would like to actively practice it. It makes me think it’s quite a bit a different scenario to beeing born into it and going along with it and I wonder if he could become more and more involved in the religion as time goes on.

Ultimately, I ended things with him because I do not think that I can support him the way he‘d wish/need me to. And I am very worried that since he will be a converted believer, who actively practices, his beliefs will only get stronger and stronger with time and age as I already mentioned.

However, I still regularly see him in our friends group and we do have great chemistry and I greatly appreciate the person he is. I am wondering if I overreacted and said goodbye to a possibly great match but I take relationships and religion extremely seriously and believe that it’s important to be on the same page when it comes to beliefs especially when actively practiced.

Would you have given it a serious long term shot if you had been in my position?

Tl;Dr I ended things with a guy I was seeing because he wants to convert and actively start practicing Islam

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* This article was originally published here