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Saturday, December 3, 2022

My Crush (Read The Description For Context) Hooked Up And Kissed Another Random Guy :( . Any Advice On What I Should Do?

Just to start off with some context, I'm 18m and basically, I've had a massive crush on this girl (18f) since the beginning of this year. We chatted heaps in all our classes, texted quite a bit, I've been to her house a few times and we even went to formal together (Australian version of prom) - anyway, according to her friends and even her parents (her parents are family friends with some of my family), she liked me.

A few days ago, she asked me to come to a club with her and her friends; I originally said I could come however I never ended up going as some stuff happened. Instead, according to a few of my friends who went to that very club and hung out with her and her friends, she hooked up with some random person who apparently was pretty trash looking - anyway, they were kinda shocked.

--- **TL;DR;** : When my friends told me the following day, I kinda felt slammed, not angry or anything but rather, just blatantly sad - I thought she was my 'soulmate' [we had sooooo much in common, we were also pretty accomplished as well - both of us got into Ivy League schools] but damn, I guess we weren't as close as we thought. Regardless, I feel rlly disappointed in myself for not making a move earlier or even letting her know that I liked her - even though it was very very obvious.

Anyways, what should I do? Should I Just Give Up And Forget About Her :( Or Should I Make My Move?

submitted by /u/Pyro_4444
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* This article was originally published here

Friday, December 2, 2022

Is it creepy for a 35 y/o man to watch videos of a little girl who is good at guitar?

She's probably like 8. For me, child YouTube channels are typically just gross by default for adults to follow.

But anyway, the man I'm dating seems to be interested in this child's YouTube channel lately. The channel is run by the Dad but is named after the girl and is about the girl's guitar talent. The girl is very good at guitar. Not AMAZING VIRTUOSO like "everyone needs to see this!!" but very good.

BF is good at guitar and is interested in guitar videos in general.

The 6 or more videos he's watched of her channel over past few days (some are like 15mins long) are things like: girl playing the guitar, girl talking about why she likes the guitar and which guitars she likes most, girl with her dad talking about how she got into the guitar, etc. There is nothing suggestive about the way she dresses. The videos advertise her additional socials where you can follow her progress with the guitar and all that.

It seems harmless, but something about it is still creepy to me. Is it creepy? Am I the problem? Who is this content for?

tl;dr Little bit sketched out by bf's [35M] interest in a child's YouTube channel.

submitted by /u/Majestic-Put-135
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* This article was originally published here

Wednesday, November 30, 2022

My boyfriend says he isn't ready for marriage

Before i start, my boyfriend and i are both arabs. And arabs don't really date as it is not religiously or culturally acceptable. Thus, both our parents don't know about the two of us.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. I 27 (F) and he is 30 (M) years old. As i mentioned earlier, arabs don't have the dating culture as most marriages are arranged. That being said, a guy came to ask for my hand, and based on the current information i have, he seems like a decent guy. I discussed with my boyfriend about that and he was very hesitant at first but was saying he wouldn't want to be selfish and keep me to himself. He kept on making up excuses and claiming he isn't ready for marriage yet and it's not in his 1 to 2 year plan. I love my boyfriend very much and i always thought he is the one, but after hearing him say that and letting me go easily.

TL;DR Does it mean i should get to know the guy (even though i am usually against arranged marriages) or wait for my boyfriend to be ready which is indeterminate?

submitted by /u/Remarkable_Theory_93
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* This article was originally published here

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Bf's sister doubled down on being a jealous brat and everyone sees it, but no one could do anything about it.

Hi. It's 3am in the morning. It's on my mind and I can't sleep, so I'm here to type my frustration away. Thank u in advance.

My bf (24M) and I (22F) have been together for almost 3 years now. He has 3 sisters, all of whom was shy to interact with me at first, since I'm his first ever relationship. Today, the older 2 sisters, 19 and 14, are as chill as an ice cube with me. The youngest sister though, C (13f), she's a different story. She was the most aloof when we first got together. Over the years, C and I were neutral, I came over to his house a lot, cooked for the fam, we bought C her dream kpop light stick for her bday and more. Point is - I tried. Anything from small talk, to spending more time, to inviting her out, to gift giving. She's always been "meh" about it, but hey, I'll take the tiny progresses. [ a bit of background about C: She grew up the youngest in a house of 5 children, her parents never disciplined her (sources are from the people living in this house themselves) and she has a history of yelling, stomping and slamming the door at the parents' faces when she doesnt like something. This is all recent and still happening btw, not 3 years ago one time incident. I hope it gives insight on how she normally behaves to everyone around her...]

However, recently, barely the past 6 months, we all feel like C doubled down for the worst. the vibe just changed, it went from neutral to hostile. Lots of passive aggressiveness, shes just straight up a b to me. - when we go out with just the 3 of us, me, bf and C, she'd only talk to him and exclude me. Every time we try to bring the convo back to being 3 people, she'd shut down, ignore us, then just pick up at where she left off with my bf. Even when I chime in, she'd go quiet, then just ignore it and continue talking to bf like I'm not there. - when we go out in our fam group, with all 3 sisters, bf and me, C would go into wall blocking mode. Every time bf turns his back to look at something, she'd scoot right in between me and him, then just walled me off. The entire night lol. - I'm fortunate enough to have a company car and gas card, living in CA, I always offer my vehicle whenever we go out, its a better economical choice. But I need a headcount of who's coming for insurance purposes should something happen. Well, instead of talking to me about wanting to come along, C basically snuck herself onto my car. She knew about the plan for days, I was in the same living room as her for the entire night, instead of talking to me and asking to come along, this kid just snuck onto my car and saw nothing wrong with it. We were waiting for her to ask to come along too. Nope. Nothing. She ignored me the whole night, then she walked in to my car like she owned it lol. That was the last straw for me.

Listen. I'm just frustrated and tired. I know she's being petty and bratty, but I wasn't going to enter into a cat fight with a 13 year old when she did that shitty jealous gf walling off move. Its comical as much as it is frustrating. I kept on thinking how she resembles every bad trait of the Kardashians girls growing up, turned out, she binged the show this year's summer and that was when her attitude has changed. Now She's entitled, disrespectful, mean, and just straight up a b word. She's not just mean to me, she's rude to everyone else too. The other 2 sisters talked to bf and I about it, bf and I also tried to talk a lot about it. I think the turning point for my bf and the 2 older sisters happened when C mocked of a haunted house actor for his profession, after demanding for everyone to go to the haunted house. From there, everyone has just been on the fence about C. They're convinced she just became a melting pot of all the Kardashians after the binge.

So, we are here. Bf and I talked a lot. We agreed on a few things we could say and do to combat her passive aggressiveness when it happens again. But im mad. I feel like now the responsibility falls on us to "fix" her and make her a better person. I know my bf is feeling that pressure. Their parents are done, they don't want to do anything anymore after all the drama and slamming doors, they just let her be. The other 2 sisters ignore C as much as they could now. She's just so very unpleasant to be around. I know I'm nothing to her, so it doesn't matter what I say, she ain't gonna listen. Bf tried talking to her though, blessed his calm heart he really tried, from pointing out her behaviors to just dropping a truth bomb that she doesn't have much friends because she's been acting like this. Her reaction is usually going quiet, walking away and locking herself in her room; when she'd emerge again, it was as if the talk never happened. She completely disregarded all of it and never addressed it. Every time she doesn't want to hear something, she just goes away. And just like that time goes on and it's been months of her being like this.

So yeah. Idk where to go from here. Keeping distance from her is ideal, I honestly have been doing that, until she invited herself into my vehicle. Bf does see the problem and he's troubled too, he doesn't know how to deal with her either. On one hand, we agreed that we have enough problems on our hands, we don't need to invite more by "fixing" her, it's not our job; but on the other hand, I do understand the sibling love, he worries for her and he just wants her to become a better person. But how do we communicate that with her when she's like this?? I don't think anything would go through to her thiccc skull right now.

Tldr: Bf's little sister turned into a jealous gf/sister against me after 3 years. I'm frustrated because it's literally not our job to "fix" her, all while she's doubling down on being a brat. She's not listening to anyone.

submitted by /u/MorePeas828
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* This article was originally published here

Monday, November 28, 2022

Am I (35F) being too sensitive?

My boyfriend (32M) and I (35F) have been together 13 months. We're LD and from two extremely different countries/cultures. I know his culture well, but he has zero experience with direct women from a country like mine. He's not fluent in English.

We recently got into an argument and he hasn't talked to me in nearly a week because I called him immature for stonewalling.

I've been having trouble with very dry lips and mouth in recent weeks, so during calls I was often trying to moisten my lips and salivating my gums as it was often uncomfortable feeling like everything was stuck together when trying to open my mouth.

I don't remember if I told him why I was doing it, but I started noticing him mimicking me when I do this during our calls. At first I wasn't bothered by it, but when he did it during our last call, he noticed I was upset by this because I couldn't figure out why he kept doing it.

He apologised in text saying he was only teasing me (as he said they tease in his culture when they like someone) and meant no harm, and I said that doing it once was fair enough, but to keep doing it, it felt like he was mocking me as he's done it during numerous calls now. I said, "how do I know you won't tease me about my insecurities?“, because he kept doing it during every call.

Everything seemed fine until I noticed he was becoming more distant. He finaly admitted 4 days later that he was bothered by that comment about insecurities and that he feels like he can't be himself anymore in case I take offense to something he says because I translate it wrong and negatively.

It turned into an argument through text. I told him I wasn't bothered by it until I noticed he kept doing it during every call, I said it wasn't necessary. I was starting to get annoyed.

What are your thoughts/advice and is this a dealbreaker?

Tl;dr: My boyfriend and I got into a text argument over something that could've been a misunderstanding and took offence to calling him immature for stonewalling over minor issues in arguments. Is it worth fixing/am I in the wrong?

submitted by /u/Tatlim86
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* This article was originally published here

Sunday, November 27, 2022

Can you love someone who you think is a bad person?

There is this woman I have had strong feelings for. We are in the same PhD program. When I first met her, I thought she was friendly and innocent, but then she acted flirty to help her cheat in homework. I was not seeking her out, but she acted that way anyways.

We still became friends, but fast forward, we take a qualifier exam. I pass it and she does not. We become friends, 4 months pass and she has to take the retake. Only then, after a month of not talking, does she ask me for help when we had spent the past months talking like best friends. She assumed I was interested in her, so she never wanted to meet me in person, but at the same time she never wanted to study for the exam.

She passes anyways, but later on, she thinks I am interested in her, and after months of not talking to each other in person, she wants me to spend money on a trip for me to have a chance to be with her, even though I had never given her an indication I was interested in her.

Anyways, it doesn't work out, months pass, and we finally have class together, I avoid seeing her, weeks pass and I have to present to the class. I actually see her and I feel an intense depression. I have a feeling she is using drugs because she is depressed. After that, I do not talk to her, but for 2 weeks I have been so sick I cannot sleep or eat. I can barely handle it, I do not why I am feeling this way. I keep thinking that it is her own fault that she did not do well in school and that she is ruining her life.

She is an international student from China, and she always did things that gave me a lot of concern. She does not speak English well and she is extremely shy in person. She is very pretty, but the only interaction she seems to be able to have is with men who she thinks are interested in her. She is extremely awkward and I think she has autism (I think I have autism too, not a joke). I think she is extremely hedonistic. I am quite the opposite. I always did well in school. I do not know if I should care about her. She has treated me poorly and only got interested in me again after I said I was going to get a job (we were arguing, and she started to drill me pretty badly, so I came up with that just to not loose so much face after telling her I still cared for her). She has been trying to rekindle but I keep acting as if I do not know that. I am not sure if she has given up. Should I rekindle our relationship?

tl;dr Woman I have strong feeling for does bad things but I cannot decide to leave her.

submitted by /u/MrOrangeCoin
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* This article was originally published here