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Monday, November 28, 2022

Am I (35F) being too sensitive?

My boyfriend (32M) and I (35F) have been together 13 months. We're LD and from two extremely different countries/cultures. I know his culture well, but he has zero experience with direct women from a country like mine. He's not fluent in English.

We recently got into an argument and he hasn't talked to me in nearly a week because I called him immature for stonewalling.

I've been having trouble with very dry lips and mouth in recent weeks, so during calls I was often trying to moisten my lips and salivating my gums as it was often uncomfortable feeling like everything was stuck together when trying to open my mouth.

I don't remember if I told him why I was doing it, but I started noticing him mimicking me when I do this during our calls. At first I wasn't bothered by it, but when he did it during our last call, he noticed I was upset by this because I couldn't figure out why he kept doing it.

He apologised in text saying he was only teasing me (as he said they tease in his culture when they like someone) and meant no harm, and I said that doing it once was fair enough, but to keep doing it, it felt like he was mocking me as he's done it during numerous calls now. I said, "how do I know you won't tease me about my insecurities?“, because he kept doing it during every call.

Everything seemed fine until I noticed he was becoming more distant. He finaly admitted 4 days later that he was bothered by that comment about insecurities and that he feels like he can't be himself anymore in case I take offense to something he says because I translate it wrong and negatively.

It turned into an argument through text. I told him I wasn't bothered by it until I noticed he kept doing it during every call, I said it wasn't necessary. I was starting to get annoyed.

What are your thoughts/advice and is this a dealbreaker?

Tl;dr: My boyfriend and I got into a text argument over something that could've been a misunderstanding and took offence to calling him immature for stonewalling over minor issues in arguments. Is it worth fixing/am I in the wrong?

submitted by /u/Tatlim86
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* This article was originally published here

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