Hey ladies and gents
Im abit stuck in limbo here and need some guidance.
So to cut a long story short iv been dating a girl for nearly a year, at the start of the relationship she was pushing it too quick, after a month of dating i had her and her family questioning me about why i haven't made it official yet and also very early in lets say about 2 months she was asking me if i love her and i kind of felt forced to say it.
During our time together she has displayed many red flags which made me question her loyalty to me, she was liking pics of other men, she had sneaky convos with some guy on snap chat and then deleted the message thread in front of me, lied about deleting it but then when i threatened to walk knowing what i saw and then she confessed but said there was nothing wrong being said in the messages. She also came home from working in a club with a guys number wrote on paper which i found by her bed. The list just goes on.
By this time i was in love with her but lost attraction and sexual desire due to feeling disrespected and although i knew i loved her i didnt leave and stayed to work on things.
Over the course of the last couple months this changed me as a person, i felt insecure, not wanted and not respected, we argue about the smallests of things and disagree on certain things. She has a moody personality too which she admits too.
This time round, last week she ended it with me saying she doesnt feel the same, she says romantic side of things isnt gone completely but the feelings aren't as strong. I said ok and let her walk and didnt contact her for 3 days. During that time i reflected on everything, i felt like she abandoned me real quick but when i felt like she did i stayed to fix it but i do feel like when things were good they were really good and i didnt want to lose her so decided to fight a little for the relationship.
I spoke to her yesterday by video calling and we both agreed we have pushed eachother away, although shes willing to see if we can try one last time but she she wants to go back to dating and not in a relationship. She said dating is all she can offer. The convo was left at we'll go out on dates but theres no guarantee the flame will relight, we're meeting up tomorrow.
At the time of video calling her, fixing things is what I wanted but after thinking and feeling a real negative energy on the call i kind of feel im more interested in fixing it than she is. I feel im fighting for her to be attracted to me again and its making me feel like this isnt the right thing to do. Personally i dont want to go back to dating, i dont want to go about things wondering if she is attracted to me again. I feel like she doesnt value me although i bought more to the table than she ever did.
Should i let her go and say i dont want to go back to dating, we either fix the relationship or we don't or say that after thinking im also willing to go on a few dates but if i dont feel the energy from her then i think she was right about ending it?
Tl;dr Broke up with ex, she lost feelings but is willing to go back to dating to see if we can relight the flame. Should i leave or stay.
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* This article was originally published here
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