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Tuesday, November 1, 2022

I (25m) think the woman I'm seeing (35) is maybe a narcissist. Should I take these signs seriously?

I met this woman 3 months ago. Probably an irrelevant detail, but she's a very very beautiful woman. And elegant.. and she's really tall (5'11, I'm only two inches taller). When I go out with her I notice a lot of people check her out.

We aren't in a relationship, but we have been intimate.. four times.

Anyway, after I met her we immediately started texting each other for hours. We had a lot of chemistry immediately and we started calling each other cute names. Like.. because I'm younger, she would call me ''puppy''. We have no weird kink, at some point I jokingly said ''you're such a mummy'' when she did a few nice things for me, she was like ''ohh, so cute, I like taking care of you''. I like her because she doesn't only have the looks, she comes across as very sweet, caring and understanding.

At some point she asked ''do you think this will go on? Maybe we shouldn't text each other so often. Maybe we shouldn't see each other very often.'' I asked her what was going on, she was very blunt and said ''I'm afraid I will get used to you very quickly and I will dump you''. She talked about her past relationships and revealed that she ended her previous relationships because of that.

She has asked this question a few times: ''do you still like me as much as you did before?''

It feels like she doesn't believe things can last.. and when I say that yes I like her as much as I did before if not more, she says ''it kind of feels forced. I lowkey feel like we're already past the honeymoon phase, it doesn't feel as intense as before''

I'm paraphrasing, she's very subtle when she talks and not as dramatic, and even when she isn't very subtle, she uses a lot of words so that what she says doesn't sound blunt.

Another strange thing is that while she tries to come across as a good human, she sometimes drops that attitude altogether and jokes about how bad she can be when she gets mad. Like, ''we haven't had an argument yet, you should see what I'm like when I'm mad, you'd run so fast'' and sometimes talks about her past and how she was a total bully in high school. When she talks about something bad she has said or done in the past, she tries to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal, or she tries to sound like a person who acknowledges that what she did was bad. Like ''uhm, I know this was bad, but uhm..I got mad at my friend and threw a little stone at her haha''

then she quickly returns to her current attitude and says ''ohhh, I've changed so much. I was just a kid. I'm so kind and caring now.'' And she proves it. Just an example: I was hanging out with her. But I had had a bad day at work, I wasn't in the mood to have fun. She said, in a very gentle voice, ''hey, it's okay. Nobody is happy all the time. Tell me what happened at work'' and she gave me emotional support and then she even kissed me.

Three days ago she uploaded her Whatsapp pictures, it wasn't a picture, it was a quote ''did you hear my covert narcissism that I disguise as altruism? A tale as old as time''. I randomly googled these words, turns out it's a song. But if you put all these little pieces together... I don't know... I'm starting to worry, there's something a little sinister and eerie about her. She does seem to be a little self-centred in general, but I'm not sure if it's pathological narcissism. It's very subtle though, like, she wears her red lipstick as soon as she wakes up, then she talks about the guys who hit on her and says ''the guy was cute, I was tempted, you've got competition lol. Joking, as soon as he talked to me, I reminded myself that I have you''

I realize this may sound like a generic question, but should I take these signs seriously? Am I just reading too much these little things?

TL;DR I'm worried the woman I'm seeing may be a little narcissistic.

submitted by /u/Departure_9611
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* This article was originally published here

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