Me and my partner have been together for almost 2 years and i'll have to admit not everything has been easy. We both have mental issues and sometimes that comes in between us. In the past when we couldnt agree on something he would threaten to break up with me until I begged him to stay or he would apologize after and come back to me. I would get upset that everytime something about me bothered him, he would just blow up and start saying mean and hurtful things like, that he "doesn't care about my meaningless problems" Or is "happy when I smoke weed so I shut up"
Even about a month ago he said he wanted to be alone away from me for a while to see if he still wanted me, so I let him and then when a week had passed he was very apologetic and said so many nice things. I used to have to try really hard to get him to go out with me or spend time with me or even see me as a priority and then all of the sudden he wants to come over all the time, do stuff together and honestly I haven't had the time to process the other times he's hurt me. And I'll admit I've grown a bit bitter towards him, i cant let myself fully love him anymore because I was too scared to be hurt like that again.
But yesterday was the kicker, we started drinking and everything was fine, I was really tired and a bit grumpy, I said something about him paying for booze next time (booze isnt cheap, high gov tax) ultimately I didn't care that much I just dont want to become a financial pushover. He got really upset at it and the gave me the drink and said "you drink it then!" I didnt want it so i gave it back and got mildly annoyed. Not too long after I fell asleep.
I woke up at 3 am with him missing, I checked my phone and saw he left me three long messages saying he's done with me and that I'm really annoying, always complaining and that he doesnt know why he spends time with me at all and said he's "been thinking about it for months" The sencond message got even meaner saying that I had become a privileged b**ch and that he deserves better. He said "There is a reason why no one wants to hang around with u, even ur family. The problem is clearly u and not me and i know u know that, but yet you dont do anything about and have the audecity to complain about litteraly anything" Then he started telling me that I don't really have ASD and that I just use it as an excuse (I have only ever had an informal diagnosis in childhood) Called me pathetic and added a middle finger gif at the end of the message.
I honestly have no clue what to think of this and haven't heard anything from him since. I wonder if I am actually that terrible. Altough the part about my family not wanting to hang out with me or friends is not true. I choose to be alone most of the time because I prefer it. If anyone can help me with just putting things in to perspective I'd be grateful. I've been anxious all morning.
TL;DR: partner of two years has a habit of saying really mean things and then comes back to apologize. He broke up with me over very mean text messages after leaving me at 2 am when I was sleeping.
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