My boyfriend loves me. Most of the time I think I love him too. But I keep getting hit with waves of doubt and anxiety, followed by waves of confidence and calm.

TL;DR; I think I might be avoidantly attached and I'm scared I'm going to let my anxiety and doubt ruin a great relationship, please help 😅

My bf (24m) and I (24f) have been officially together for 5 months, preceded by a weird will they/won't they period of 4 months in which we went on a first date, I said let's be friends, one thing led to another and we decided to date. So I've known him for a good 9 months at this point.

He is great. He loves me - we've both said it - he adores me, is very happy as far as I know, and is cautiously excited about our future.

Somehow, he is so perfectly attuned to me and what I need. I'll think about getting up to do something and sometimes he's already doing it for me. He always puts in effort, is always keen to spend time with me, both at home and making plans to go out. He follows through on all the "what ifs". He keeps it healthy, he has his own friends that he makes time to see independent of me. He is silly and ridiculous in the same way as me, we do stupid things together and nothing I do embarrasses him, instead he embraces it and gives it right back. Sex is great, he genuinely cares about making it good for both of us. Went from never finishing with my ex to having like a 90% success rate with my bf.

And yet I'm still anxious. About a month ago, I started having some painful doubts. Like, I don't think he's handsome, I don't look at him and think "beautiful", instead it's an affectionate "how silly". And sometimes when he's being silly, I get irritated, like "why is he like this, why can't he just be normal?!" While other times I don't give a damn. I worry that he's too keen, more than I am, and because I think I don't match the depth of his feelings I get anxious about saying "I love you" because it might not mean to me what it means to him.

I struggle to imagine us in the future. I don't have much idea of what it will be but he doesn't quite fit the picture perfect hallmark movie life that I just assumed would eventually be attainable if I just worked hard enough. (But in the flipside, I can't imagine any aspect of my future right now. There's a lot going on, uni just finished, working part time, planning a trip, preparing to start full time work, possibly working away for three months) Hanging out with his family is triggering, I think from the fear of making and losing again the relationship I had with my ex's family. It gives me more fear for the future.

Last time, everything was easy, I had no idea what I was jumping into. Now I know the pain of heartbreak, of having to start again, there's things to fear.

I've talked about this with my psychologist, we've discussed the possibility of my having an anxious-avoidant attachment style. You find yourself noticing the flaws and wanting to run away so you can find the perfect partner, but that perfection doesn't exist or probably isn't even what you want. You focus on it with intensity, it consumes you, and it ruins relationships that could be great if you aren't aware and don't handle it properly. I am just generally an anxious person, possibly could be medicated but I'm scared to go down that route so young when I could try other things.

And I feel like I do this a lot, I ruin things by stressing about them not being perfect- friendships, experiences. But then, am I just latching on to an explanation to avoid the dreaded idea that we might not be suited? Except I know that we are, we get on really well, have even had an acquaintance who is a relationship counsellor comment on it.

I don't know, my brain starts thinking and then it starts spiralling and I forget all my reasons for doing anything other than running away somewhere and hiding.

This has turned into me pouring out my anxieties to Reddit. I guess I'd love to know people's thoughts. Especially if you have any experience or advice for someone with an anxious-avoidant attachment style who wants to make their relationship work. And yeah I know there's various different names for this, this is what my psychologist used when she explained the origins and what they were and how they worked.

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My Crush (Read The Description For Context) Hooked Up And Kissed Another Random Guy :( . Any Advice On What I Should Do?

Just to start off with some context, I'm 18m and basically, I've had a massive crush on this girl (18f) since the beginning of this year. We chatted heaps in all our classes, texted quite a bit, I've been to her house a few times and we even went to formal together (Australian version of prom) - anyway, according to her friends and even her parents (her parents are family friends with some of my family), she liked me.

A few days ago, she asked me to come to a club with her and her friends; I originally said I could come however I never ended up going as some stuff happened. Instead, according to a few of my friends who went to that very club and hung out with her and her friends, she hooked up with some random person who apparently was pretty trash looking - anyway, they were kinda shocked.

--- **TL;DR;** : When my friends told me the following day, I kinda felt slammed, not angry or anything but rather, just blatantly sad - I thought she was my 'soulmate' [we had sooooo much in common, we were also pretty accomplished as well - both of us got into Ivy League schools] but damn, I guess we weren't as close as we thought. Regardless, I feel rlly disappointed in myself for not making a move earlier or even letting her know that I liked her - even though it was very very obvious.

Anyways, what should I do? Should I Just Give Up And Forget About Her :( Or Should I Make My Move?

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Is it creepy for a 35 y/o man to watch videos of a little girl who is good at guitar?

She's probably like 8. For me, child YouTube channels are typically just gross by default for adults to follow.

But anyway, the man I'm dating seems to be interested in this child's YouTube channel lately. The channel is run by the Dad but is named after the girl and is about the girl's guitar talent. The girl is very good at guitar. Not AMAZING VIRTUOSO like "everyone needs to see this!!" but very good.

BF is good at guitar and is interested in guitar videos in general.

The 6 or more videos he's watched of her channel over past few days (some are like 15mins long) are things like: girl playing the guitar, girl talking about why she likes the guitar and which guitars she likes most, girl with her dad talking about how she got into the guitar, etc. There is nothing suggestive about the way she dresses. The videos advertise her additional socials where you can follow her progress with the guitar and all that.

It seems harmless, but something about it is still creepy to me. Is it creepy? Am I the problem? Who is this content for?

tl;dr Little bit sketched out by bf's [35M] interest in a child's YouTube channel.

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* This article was originally published here

Inside the lives of the love and relationship experts on Celebs Go Dating - The Tab

Inside the lives of the love and relationship experts on Celebs Go Dating  The Tab

* This article was originally published here

My boyfriend says he isn't ready for marriage

Before i start, my boyfriend and i are both arabs. And arabs don't really date as it is not religiously or culturally acceptable. Thus, both our parents don't know about the two of us.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. I 27 (F) and he is 30 (M) years old. As i mentioned earlier, arabs don't have the dating culture as most marriages are arranged. That being said, a guy came to ask for my hand, and based on the current information i have, he seems like a decent guy. I discussed with my boyfriend about that and he was very hesitant at first but was saying he wouldn't want to be selfish and keep me to himself. He kept on making up excuses and claiming he isn't ready for marriage yet and it's not in his 1 to 2 year plan. I love my boyfriend very much and i always thought he is the one, but after hearing him say that and letting me go easily.

TL;DR Does it mean i should get to know the guy (even though i am usually against arranged marriages) or wait for my boyfriend to be ready which is indeterminate?

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* This article was originally published here

Bf's sister doubled down on being a jealous brat and everyone sees it, but no one could do anything about it.

Hi. It's 3am in the morning. It's on my mind and I can't sleep, so I'm here to type my frustration away. Thank u in advance.

My bf (24M) and I (22F) have been together for almost 3 years now. He has 3 sisters, all of whom was shy to interact with me at first, since I'm his first ever relationship. Today, the older 2 sisters, 19 and 14, are as chill as an ice cube with me. The youngest sister though, C (13f), she's a different story. She was the most aloof when we first got together. Over the years, C and I were neutral, I came over to his house a lot, cooked for the fam, we bought C her dream kpop light stick for her bday and more. Point is - I tried. Anything from small talk, to spending more time, to inviting her out, to gift giving. She's always been "meh" about it, but hey, I'll take the tiny progresses. [ a bit of background about C: She grew up the youngest in a house of 5 children, her parents never disciplined her (sources are from the people living in this house themselves) and she has a history of yelling, stomping and slamming the door at the parents' faces when she doesnt like something. This is all recent and still happening btw, not 3 years ago one time incident. I hope it gives insight on how she normally behaves to everyone around her...]

However, recently, barely the past 6 months, we all feel like C doubled down for the worst. the vibe just changed, it went from neutral to hostile. Lots of passive aggressiveness, shes just straight up a b to me. - when we go out with just the 3 of us, me, bf and C, she'd only talk to him and exclude me. Every time we try to bring the convo back to being 3 people, she'd shut down, ignore us, then just pick up at where she left off with my bf. Even when I chime in, she'd go quiet, then just ignore it and continue talking to bf like I'm not there. - when we go out in our fam group, with all 3 sisters, bf and me, C would go into wall blocking mode. Every time bf turns his back to look at something, she'd scoot right in between me and him, then just walled me off. The entire night lol. - I'm fortunate enough to have a company car and gas card, living in CA, I always offer my vehicle whenever we go out, its a better economical choice. But I need a headcount of who's coming for insurance purposes should something happen. Well, instead of talking to me about wanting to come along, C basically snuck herself onto my car. She knew about the plan for days, I was in the same living room as her for the entire night, instead of talking to me and asking to come along, this kid just snuck onto my car and saw nothing wrong with it. We were waiting for her to ask to come along too. Nope. Nothing. She ignored me the whole night, then she walked in to my car like she owned it lol. That was the last straw for me.

Listen. I'm just frustrated and tired. I know she's being petty and bratty, but I wasn't going to enter into a cat fight with a 13 year old when she did that shitty jealous gf walling off move. Its comical as much as it is frustrating. I kept on thinking how she resembles every bad trait of the Kardashians girls growing up, turned out, she binged the show this year's summer and that was when her attitude has changed. Now She's entitled, disrespectful, mean, and just straight up a b word. She's not just mean to me, she's rude to everyone else too. The other 2 sisters talked to bf and I about it, bf and I also tried to talk a lot about it. I think the turning point for my bf and the 2 older sisters happened when C mocked of a haunted house actor for his profession, after demanding for everyone to go to the haunted house. From there, everyone has just been on the fence about C. They're convinced she just became a melting pot of all the Kardashians after the binge.

So, we are here. Bf and I talked a lot. We agreed on a few things we could say and do to combat her passive aggressiveness when it happens again. But im mad. I feel like now the responsibility falls on us to "fix" her and make her a better person. I know my bf is feeling that pressure. Their parents are done, they don't want to do anything anymore after all the drama and slamming doors, they just let her be. The other 2 sisters ignore C as much as they could now. She's just so very unpleasant to be around. I know I'm nothing to her, so it doesn't matter what I say, she ain't gonna listen. Bf tried talking to her though, blessed his calm heart he really tried, from pointing out her behaviors to just dropping a truth bomb that she doesn't have much friends because she's been acting like this. Her reaction is usually going quiet, walking away and locking herself in her room; when she'd emerge again, it was as if the talk never happened. She completely disregarded all of it and never addressed it. Every time she doesn't want to hear something, she just goes away. And just like that time goes on and it's been months of her being like this.

So yeah. Idk where to go from here. Keeping distance from her is ideal, I honestly have been doing that, until she invited herself into my vehicle. Bf does see the problem and he's troubled too, he doesn't know how to deal with her either. On one hand, we agreed that we have enough problems on our hands, we don't need to invite more by "fixing" her, it's not our job; but on the other hand, I do understand the sibling love, he worries for her and he just wants her to become a better person. But how do we communicate that with her when she's like this?? I don't think anything would go through to her thiccc skull right now.

Tldr: Bf's little sister turned into a jealous gf/sister against me after 3 years. I'm frustrated because it's literally not our job to "fix" her, all while she's doubling down on being a brat. She's not listening to anyone.

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Am I (35F) being too sensitive?

My boyfriend (32M) and I (35F) have been together 13 months. We're LD and from two extremely different countries/cultures. I know his culture well, but he has zero experience with direct women from a country like mine. He's not fluent in English.

We recently got into an argument and he hasn't talked to me in nearly a week because I called him immature for stonewalling.

I've been having trouble with very dry lips and mouth in recent weeks, so during calls I was often trying to moisten my lips and salivating my gums as it was often uncomfortable feeling like everything was stuck together when trying to open my mouth.

I don't remember if I told him why I was doing it, but I started noticing him mimicking me when I do this during our calls. At first I wasn't bothered by it, but when he did it during our last call, he noticed I was upset by this because I couldn't figure out why he kept doing it.

He apologised in text saying he was only teasing me (as he said they tease in his culture when they like someone) and meant no harm, and I said that doing it once was fair enough, but to keep doing it, it felt like he was mocking me as he's done it during numerous calls now. I said, "how do I know you won't tease me about my insecurities?“, because he kept doing it during every call.

Everything seemed fine until I noticed he was becoming more distant. He finaly admitted 4 days later that he was bothered by that comment about insecurities and that he feels like he can't be himself anymore in case I take offense to something he says because I translate it wrong and negatively.

It turned into an argument through text. I told him I wasn't bothered by it until I noticed he kept doing it during every call, I said it wasn't necessary. I was starting to get annoyed.

What are your thoughts/advice and is this a dealbreaker?

Tl;dr: My boyfriend and I got into a text argument over something that could've been a misunderstanding and took offence to calling him immature for stonewalling over minor issues in arguments. Is it worth fixing/am I in the wrong?

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* This article was originally published here