If you use these 4 phrases regularly, you're more likely to form healthy relationships than most, says psychologist - NBC Southern California

If you use these 4 phrases regularly, you're more likely to form healthy relationships than most, says psychologist  NBC Southern California

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I (26f) kinda want to break up with my boyfriend (30m) but I don’t want to lose my benefits

i understand that my bf is not insurance.

my bf helps me out a lot. he likes to provide. he likes to give me things that he thinks would be good for my apartment. he likes to surprise me with bubble baths even though i could care less for a bubble bath. he likes to book helicopter rides because he wants to be cutesy and romantic and that’s his thing. but i’m not cutesy or romantic.

i like a lot of things he does for me though. cooks me food, picks up my meds, gives me money sometimes, cleans my house, organizes my closets.

i know i sound like i’m just using him. but i feel like it’s more of an exchange thing going on. i wash his underwear and have sex with him. if he says can we move the bed against the wall instead of the middle of the room, i do it. and he doesn’t even live with me. when i go grocery shopping, i buy things that i know he likes.

but he is such a douche. when he was trying to surprise me with the romantic bubble bath, he asked me where the candle we didn’t use yet was. i said i forgot where i put it. i asked him if he could just use the one we already used because it still had lots of wax left. he got a kinda aggressive tone with me and said no where is the new candle. i said idk. then he woke me up from my sleep and told me to come take the bubble bath with him. it was pretty. he put vines along the tub and on the shower pole. he turned off the lights and had both candles lit. he had a nice soothing playlist. and i said wowww this is nice just to be kind . and i told him to make sure he took a picture of it once we got out of the tub.

well i guess that he didn’t like that i only spent 10 minutes in the tub with him because i don’t really like baths and i was getting too hot. then he took everything down and starting taking a shower and i said bae did u take a pic before u took everything down and he said nah maybe next time. so that pissed me off.

some other fucked up shit that he does is stick his penis in me without a condom.he put his penis in me with no condom while i was in the laundry room. i told him i don’t wanna have unprotected sex. he also is controlling. and he’s stupid. he said “do u really not want me to cum in you?” like it was a shock to him. i said do you really want to cum in me because it’s all fun and games and it not thinking about the repercussions at all? i’m not a birth control or anything. him doing that really makes me angry. i don’t think i can get over that.

but if i lose him i lose my benefits. i lose fun times. i lose cooking together. i lose the parts that i like. and i’m not trying to go back on the dating apps and start again for the 100th time. even though we’ve only known each other for less than 2 months. so i’m conflicted. i did block him today but i unblocked him after thinking about all the things he does for me.

tl;dr: wanna break up with my bf but don’t wanna lose the good tomes

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How do I get over my girlfriend not being a virgin?

I (18 M) started to talking to this girl (18) for a while now and honestly things are perfect. Just amazing. She's super funny, and chill and... she's just great. We're not dating yet as we both talked about it and decided to take it slow.

So now we were talking and the conversation of virginity came up. To get straight to the point, she' not and I am. I handled it well. Didn't make her feel bad or anything. I have been in a few relationships but I guess this is a new one for me? Look I get it... people have pasts. I'm truly not judging. It was before my time. But why do I feel weird about it? Like this feeling genuinely sucks.

Am I planning on breaking up with her?

No! Definitely not.

But I can't get rid of this feeling. And I don't want to look at her a different way but I'm starting to feel the way I see her chnage. And I don't want to close with feeling off. Done it before. Not it.

So how can I get over this? This is just a little phase right? My little ego being shattered? I just don't want to keep going like this while talking to this amazing girl. I feel childish and immature. I've built myself up from a previous relationship that was just toxic. But now I feel all that progress of me growing up is gone.

Any advice on how to get over this? Some tough/brutal words? A Swift kick in the ass or a nice slap to get my damn head on straight? Because I'm not going to end things just cause of that. I need to make this work. I really like her :(

Thank you!

**TL;DR: Found out the girl I'm talking to has already had sex. I'm not going to break up with her over that but I feel hella weird about it and need some words/advice on how to deal with it. Not willing to lose her because she's not a virgin and I am.

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Another gay breakup story

Another gay breakup story .

My boyfriend left me because he found out i had a gay Facebook account .

Me ( 26 Y ) and my boyfriend ( 26 Y ) have been together for like 9 months , everything was so perfect till i started my residency and became extremely busy , i might be working 60 h continually , ofcourse our meetings have been reduced , our texts , our calls and everything . Even when we meet i - involuntary - fall asleep while talking to him . We fought a lot cause he felt i was withdrawing myself on purpose , i truly wasn’t . Back then at the beginning of our dating we agreed to be exclusive and delete every gay accounts anywhere . We both agreed and i had this stupid Gay Facebook account which i used to look at shirtless guys and wank , never met anybody over it . I opened that account again when we used to fight a lot cause i needed to masturbate , he knows my phone password and found out this account and left me , got over me in no time and started to see other people . I never cheated on him , in fact i even stayed like 5 months after we broke up can’t have sex with other men cause it felt wrong and i felt my body is still his . I started to move on but i can’t help feeling it was my fault ( and it really was ) but also can’t help feeling this stupid account was an excuse for him to leave cause he couldn’t handle he wasn’t the priority during my residency . TL;DR;: my boyfriend left cause he found out i have gay account though i didn’t cheat on him

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Me (25F) feeling hurt and confused by partners lack of replying. Relationship just under a year long. Am I being unreasonable? If so could someone enlighten me on the behaviour

TL;DR Hey folks, I feel rather silly about this but don’t know where else to turn for advice.

My partner won’t reply to my messages for 3-9+ hours even though he will go online regularly during that time (via messenger). At points I will be left on read for hours as well. He also hardly ever calls me but will speak to other people in his life regularly if not daily on the phone.

I understand when he is busy or working, but over the past few it has become a regular occurrence (even when he has had weeks off work). It makes me feel as if there is a lack of interest in me and that I’m not a priority. I have found that it also makes me anxious as I sit and wonder why he would actively communicate with others but not me.

Personally I wouldn’t not reply to his messages if I were online as I care about him and like hearing off him. Maybe I shouldn’t be adding my own meaning to his behaviour but I honestly don’t understand why someone would do this to their so.

I have mentioned it to him and he says “he is working” but the behaviour carries on out of work hours as well as his time off.

Any advice or insight on this behaviour would be massively appreciated. Also if I’m in the wrong and need to correct my own take on contact etc please let me know. Many thanks from a stressed little human.

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This daily habit all couples do could be killing your relationship, says expert - but the advice has proved to be ... - goodtoknow

This daily habit all couples do could be killing your relationship, says expert - but the advice has proved to be ...  goodtoknow

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I (M18) am thinking about asking out (F18). It is going to be the first time in a relationship for both of us. Should I ask her out or should we stay friends?

TL;DR: I am making this post to assess whether I should even try to ask her out. Some might say I lack confidence or "the worst she can say is no," but I'm worried about the friendship we have if she says no. I do not want to be friendzoned, so I'm wondering if I should just stay in the friendzone.

I am a junior in high school (I was held back in Kindergarten b/c of my autism) and she is a senior. We've been friends for about 5 months now and I have acquired feelings for her. I think she's smart, kind, funny, and very beautiful. We've been texting with varying degrees of frequency, but when she does text me she seems engaged and entertained. She often laughs at the humorous things I say or do so that gives me some hope. Her intelligence stands out to me. The number one thing that attracts me to a girl is intelligence. I just see a "light bulb over their head". She is someone who I can engage in political/moral conversation with and not lose their temper. I don't know for sure but she seems like the type to disapprove of casual/rash sexual behavior. She has never had a boyfriend (she's straight) and she is a virgin. This is important to me because I'm a Christian and I don't believe in premarital sex, and I think she would respect that based on the conversations I've had with her. I think a lot of her morals align with mine and I think she's intelligent enough to understand where our differences come from. I was also able to compliment her hair without getting an awkward response.

Here is what makes me lose confidence. Firstly, she hasn't been texting me recently. I told her about my spring break but she never got it because she closed the DM's. That hurt my feelings quite a bit. She also stopped sitting beside me in class. It was so weird. Maybe it was to get closer to her friend but when the teacher moved the tables around, she stopped sitting next to me. She also never mentions me among her friends. She has told her parents about me and she does consider me outside of school but I am definitely not one of her close friends. She's black and I'm white. Although she doesn't seem like the type to be into white men, I think she's incredibly beautiful. I mean, REALLY beautiful. She told me she doesn't even wear makeup and I couldn't believe it. I love the way she does the braids in her hair and I like how she dresses. I have had a struggle with terrible acne my whole life and it shows up more apparently because of my complexion. I am definitely not the best-looking guy. I've never asked for ratings but if I were to rate myself it would be a 2.5/10. Another thing is that I don't see ambition in her. The second thing that attracts me to girls is ambition; the drive to get work done; a sense of duty to the world. She is very present-minded and just wants to "get by." This is unattractive and concerning for me. I have some huge goals in my life (I want to change the world for good) but I don't know if she would be supportive. I already asked her if she wanted to join a friend club I made (it's NOT a fraternity) where me and my friends hang out, but also start businesses to raise money so we can do community projects and help the poor. She said no, and laughed at the idea. She didn't say "good idea" or "that's great" or anything along those lines like I hoped she would. I started talking about it in class again and she laughed. I completely understood why she said no. It's a big time investment for her, especially considering she works and doesn't fully understand the club. However, I would have liked a little more respect. I have also taken some sort of a vow of poverty. I am a firm believer that material things aren't givers of happiness, but rather your fulfillment in life upon achieving your goals and the joy of shared experiences with friends, family, and partners. I doubt that she would like that. I couldn't give you evidence beyond the fact that she spent $25 on a small vial of lip gloss. I think that's enough said. Finally, the biggest thing, we're going to different colleges. I don't think there's much more to be said here. Is it really worth my time? One of my friends said yes, the other said no, and the last one was neutral. I need your help.

I kindly request that you be nice to me because I was flamed/bullied off of my other Reddit account for posting on here because I knew nothing about dating.

Btw: My autism was more apparent in my childhood, but it is not major and it doesn't negatively affect how I interact with people. No one knows I have autism until I tell them. I never make my autism an excuse for anything, I always say I have to do the best with what I have and not complain. Also, please do not make fun of my Christian or traditional beliefs like others have. I know they are uncommon and "uncool" now, but I haven't judged anyone for thinking otherwise.

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