I (24M) need help understanding my girlfriend (21F) and if she needs space or break up

Hey there so my girlfriend and I have been together for a year and six months. It’s been great for the most part. For those who wanna know I’m a cancer and she is a Scorpio. We were also friends for 3 years before dating.

Back in December her and I took a two week break. It was initiated by me. At the time she was pressuring me to let her move in and wouldn’t stop so it stressed me out. She already had my house key cause she would house sit when I was out of town.

Starting in February she started talking about how much her parents were making her stressed about her life. She deals with depression and anxiety by the way. Ever since February she’s been trying to find a place to live on her own. Over that time the stress from family and work started getting into the relationship. We would bicker more as time went on to the point that in early May we got in a fight and decided to give each other space for the weekend. After that weekend I realized she’s the one and I want to live with her. She then said she still needed time to decide if she wanted to live together because her family was making her question her direction in life.

So after a week, my out of town family came in to town and she wanted to meet them. Over that time things were amazing and we were happy. I then left for vacation four days later and we were still great. Three days later she left for her own vacation and things were still good.

The next day she gets home to her family and all of sudden she’s being distant and short. Still saying she loves me though. (This was a week ago) Then we see each other the next day and I asked her about the distance all of sudden. She then started talking about her family, her job, and not knowing her living situation were all stressing her out to the point where she now needs space. I asked if she wanted to break up and she said no because she still loves me and didn’t want to break up and me not go back to her when she was ready. In that conversation she also stated that she could see herself marrying me but it scares her and that if we were to live together she could see herself being happy as well.

Since that conversation we have barely talked. Only things she has mentioned is that she needs space and that I have been giving her none to the point where she feels more pushed away. I also told her if we were broken up then she needs to get her stuff from my house and give my house key back. She stated that she didn’t need anything from my house. That’s the last thing she said to me 3 days ago and I haven’t heard from her since. I still have her things at my house and she has my house key.

My question to everyone is do you guys think she’s ready to move on or is she truly so stressed out in life she just needs a break from the relationship?

TLDR: Girlfriend of a year and a half wants space because stress from family, not knowing what to do with her career, and feeling like she doesn’t have enough money to move out. Once I invited her to live with me which is something that she wanted to do 6 months ago. She asks for space and time because her life is already too much.

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My husband refuses to let me cool down and it resulted in a huge fight.

My husband refuses to let me cool off and it resulted in a huge fight.

Pretty much what it says above. We’re in our late 20s/early 30s and have a generally very good relationship. Every once in a while though we have huge blowout fights.

This almost always happens because I realize I’m not in a mental place to able to have a conversation about whatever he is upset about in that very moment. I know that I need to cool down first.

I try to communicate this to him and he refuses to stop or leave me alone. It usually results in him getting louder and more physically intimidating. He would never hurt me but he is a big guy and looms over me and refuses to give me the physical space to feel safe. I just keep telling or often even yelling at him to stop and leave me alone over and over again and he gets more and more frustrated and in my face.

I’m so genuinely deeply upset after this fight. I feel so powerless. If he refuses to give me space and let me cool down, what can I do?

TL;DR: My husband refuses to let me cool down and it resulted in a huge fight. I feel powerless. What can I do?

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Working on feelings of jealousy

TLDR: Felt some boundaries were crossed between GF and male best friend. Talked to her about it, drew some boundaries, agreed on them. Still uneasy. Need help.

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My GF of 1 year has a male best friend who Im friends with as well though not nearly as close. They hung out a lot and would do things that I felt strangely about ( they would go for dinner, a walk and then go get ice-cream and he would pay for it). Was a bit uncomfortable that I was never invited to a single of their meetups and always got the feeling that at some points he was interested in my GF especially before we got together (I have known them both about 5 years now). Either way, I was confident about our relationship so I never really questioned it and just thought maybe thats just their dynamic.

Then she invited him (just him) to her place so she could cook him dinner during a weekend (during a time when we were both incredibly busy so weekends were kind of sacred as we set them aside for each other) on top of that, I was having a absolute shitfest of a week (grandma diagnosed with terminal illness, almost failing out a class at college etc.) so I felt that crossed a line. Set her aside, talked to her about it and it went well and she said she never knew I felt that way and would make sure to invite me next time.

This was all a few months back and things have been perfect since but I still find myself struggling with (jealousy?) / general uneasiness when i chance upon the hopelessly long chains of text they send each other. The "problem" has already been solved so how do I get over myself?

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* This article was originally published here

I’m pulled of both sides and I don’t know what to do

I (17M) am in a relationship with my girlfriend (18F) since almost 2 years now, but I am loosing the love that I used to have for her, the thing is that I clearly know it’s still the case for her.

I noticed that my feelings for her (and a lot of things, almost everything actually) were going down, so I want to tell her what’s happening. One of the big issues is that I know that when I will tell her, it will completely break her, she have some mental health problems and already tried to take out her life a lot of times before we knew each other.

My plan is to tell her family and her closest friend that I plan to leave her and I will explain why I’ll tell them.

Two of the major keys of this story are :

1 : we are passing the equivalent of the exam for the High School Diploma soon, and this cause a lot of stress to my girlfriend. If I tell her my feelings before, she will completely fail and wont get the Diploma, which is necessary for her studies next year.

2 : this is also the period where we see in which school we’re accepted. She have an osteopath school near where we live, and I have a landscaper school that accepted me far away. She wants to do some paperwork so she can go at the same city as I, but if I leave her, she will be completely lost and alone in a place where she have no other attachments except me. Even though I don’t really love her anymore, I still like her a lot and wish her the best.

If I just wait until the end of the exams, it will probably be too late and she will get the paperwork done. If I do it now she will fail her exams and it will probably create a vicious circle where she won’t get over it, and I am afraid that, if it’s the case, she will end her days one way or another.

Tldr : I (17M) want to leave my girlfriend (18F) because I don’t really love her anymore but if I do it now, she will be completely broke mentally, and if I don’t do it now, there’s a big probability that I’ll have to stay with her for at least a year.

My question is : how do I handle this situation ?

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* This article was originally published here

I 22 (Male) need to get over a crush on a 21 (female)

So I met this girl and immediately developed a crush. She is kind, funny, and almost inhumanly beautiful. We started talking, I thought things were going well, she invited me to her house to ride horses, but because it’s a long drive I called her and decided we needed to have a conversation. She explained to me that she isn’t looking for a relationship, she has too many toxic exes, and she thought we were just friends. I also, through this conversation and talking to her cousins and brothers, determined that we would not make a good match for several reasons. I then spent some time avoiding her in an effort to get over her. Now I see her every couple weeks as she’s in my friend group. Even after months though I feel smitten with her. I’m helpless when she’s around and act like a “lost puppy dog” so to speak. Every time I see a picture of her on instagram I start fawning over her, despite the knowledge it would never work out. I want to see her as just a friend/acquaintance, I want so bad to have zero romantic feelings for her. It’s so confusing and difficult to try to move on and find someone compatible, while still having what feels like the deepest crush ever. Also it would not be fair to any other girl for me to start a relationship and have this strong of feelings for someone else. What should I do? Is this normal? How I get over someone like this? I don’t even feel heartbroken anymore, it’s more of an objective judgement of someone who seems perfect, and legitimately could be a model.

TLDR: I 22( male) need advice on how to stop having feelings for someone who a relationship wouldn’t work out with, 21 (female).

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* This article was originally published here

I'm (F25) unable to mask anymore and have lost all of my friends. I'm in so much pain

Undiagnosed woman here who have realized for the past two years that I'm on the spectrum. I've always been seen as weird and quirky but age has caught up to me and I've noticed the gap in maturity between me and the few friends I've had.

In particular the most recent two years have been so hard. I feel incapable of masking at all. All social situations are anxiety inducing. I can't even have small conversations anymore. I actually 'came out' to my friend a couple of months ago and feel like it was a bad decision. She is a couple of years older than me but I feel like she treats me like a child now and not a woman in my mid 20s. Our friendship has changed. I've lost almost all the friends I had previously. I'm not even sure I had friends.

I don't know what to do. I feel depressed. Nothing matters anymore. I have a couple of courses left to graduate from college but I can't make myself care anymore.

I feel like I've been acting my whole life and now suddenly I've lost the script. I'm in so much pain.

TLDR: I'm (F25) unable to mask anymore and have lost all of my friends. I'm in so much pain

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All of my [24M] friendships are situational.

Hello,

I am a 24 year old male. I've always had a hard time developing relationships with other people due to having bad Social Anxiety and lack of Social Skills. Despite my issues, I've managed to meet various people from school and work that I liked and got along with. However, I notice that ALL of my relationships NEVER go beyond their context.

When I would meet potential friends from school, we would never talk or hang out outside of school. It was never a, "Hey! Would you like to come over my house this weekend? Hey we should hang out sometime. I'm having a party, would you like to come?" We would never text or talk on the phone just to have conversation and keep in touch. In school we would get along just fine. We seemed to enjoy each other's company. However, after school, the weekends, and on Summer vacation I wouldn't hear from them. Whenever they would end up changing schools, I would never hear from them again.

It's been 7 years since I've been out of High School, and I don't keep in touch with anyone.

When I was in College, I would meet people from my classes in a given Semester that were cool, but then when the Semester would end and we no longer had classes together I wouldn't hear from them again. I would run into them on campus and we would acknowledge each other and that was about it.

I am still going through the same thing now that I am working. I've been at my job going on 3 years. I've met quite a few people here that I really liked enough to want to pursue a friendship with. We see each other at work and get along really well, but our relationship never extends beyond work. Those people no longer work there, and I haven't spoke to them since they left.

I notice this pattern with ALL of my relationships. My relationships never go beyond their context; they're always situational. I have a hard time keeping in touch with folks.

I get lonely.

I just wish I had people I can talk to and spend time with outside of work and school.

How can I break this habit?

tl;dr: All of my life for all of my relationships, they're always situational. They never go beyond their context. I'll meet people from work and school that I like and get along with, but we never spend time together or talk outside of school and work. When they end up changing jobs or schools, I oftentimes never hear from them again. I wish I had people to talk to and spend time with outside of the places I see them in. I want to break this habit.

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