Undiagnosed woman here who have realized for the past two years that I'm on the spectrum. I've always been seen as weird and quirky but age has caught up to me and I've noticed the gap in maturity between me and the few friends I've had.
In particular the most recent two years have been so hard. I feel incapable of masking at all. All social situations are anxiety inducing. I can't even have small conversations anymore. I actually 'came out' to my friend a couple of months ago and feel like it was a bad decision. She is a couple of years older than me but I feel like she treats me like a child now and not a woman in my mid 20s. Our friendship has changed. I've lost almost all the friends I had previously. I'm not even sure I had friends.
I don't know what to do. I feel depressed. Nothing matters anymore. I have a couple of courses left to graduate from college but I can't make myself care anymore.
I feel like I've been acting my whole life and now suddenly I've lost the script. I'm in so much pain.
TLDR: I'm (F25) unable to mask anymore and have lost all of my friends. I'm in so much pain
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