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Saturday, June 11, 2022

I (24M) need help understanding my girlfriend (21F) and if she needs space or break up

Hey there so my girlfriend and I have been together for a year and six months. It’s been great for the most part. For those who wanna know I’m a cancer and she is a Scorpio. We were also friends for 3 years before dating.

Back in December her and I took a two week break. It was initiated by me. At the time she was pressuring me to let her move in and wouldn’t stop so it stressed me out. She already had my house key cause she would house sit when I was out of town.

Starting in February she started talking about how much her parents were making her stressed about her life. She deals with depression and anxiety by the way. Ever since February she’s been trying to find a place to live on her own. Over that time the stress from family and work started getting into the relationship. We would bicker more as time went on to the point that in early May we got in a fight and decided to give each other space for the weekend. After that weekend I realized she’s the one and I want to live with her. She then said she still needed time to decide if she wanted to live together because her family was making her question her direction in life.

So after a week, my out of town family came in to town and she wanted to meet them. Over that time things were amazing and we were happy. I then left for vacation four days later and we were still great. Three days later she left for her own vacation and things were still good.

The next day she gets home to her family and all of sudden she’s being distant and short. Still saying she loves me though. (This was a week ago) Then we see each other the next day and I asked her about the distance all of sudden. She then started talking about her family, her job, and not knowing her living situation were all stressing her out to the point where she now needs space. I asked if she wanted to break up and she said no because she still loves me and didn’t want to break up and me not go back to her when she was ready. In that conversation she also stated that she could see herself marrying me but it scares her and that if we were to live together she could see herself being happy as well.

Since that conversation we have barely talked. Only things she has mentioned is that she needs space and that I have been giving her none to the point where she feels more pushed away. I also told her if we were broken up then she needs to get her stuff from my house and give my house key back. She stated that she didn’t need anything from my house. That’s the last thing she said to me 3 days ago and I haven’t heard from her since. I still have her things at my house and she has my house key.

My question to everyone is do you guys think she’s ready to move on or is she truly so stressed out in life she just needs a break from the relationship?

TLDR: Girlfriend of a year and a half wants space because stress from family, not knowing what to do with her career, and feeling like she doesn’t have enough money to move out. Once I invited her to live with me which is something that she wanted to do 6 months ago. She asks for space and time because her life is already too much.

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* This article was originally published here

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