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Saturday, August 27, 2022

I (25F) broke up with my partner (25M) of 7 years and he still loves me but shows it weird

I (25F) have recently ended almost a 7 year long relationship with a man (24M) from another country. We were in a long distance relationship for 3 years at the start and then i decided to move to his country to live with him for 4 years. Everything was good in the start but I think that in the end I didnt really know him that well. It took me a long time to realize that he wasnt really supporting me in anyway. I moved to this other country for him and he never helped me with learning the language. He was also often very cold and seemed annoyed when I asked him for help with anything. His parents were the ones supporting me and helping me with moving and stuff. I tried my best to get friends in his country, people were nice but didnt really keep in contact. I would say that i am not an extreme extrovert but still have social manners where my boyfriend is an extreme introvert and seems to lack on any social manners which makes him seem very quiet and rude. When we traveled to meet my family or friends he would hardly even greet them and didnt talk with them and it made me often feel really bad. I had a stressful job and would often work the whole day which gave us like 3 hours before bedtime to have time for eachother. I always went to say hello to him after coming home and found him playing and he often seemed really annoyed that I "disturbed" him. Then whenever I would be playing or talking with my friends on computer he suddenly decided to want affection from me. Like cuddling or sex. It made me feel like my needs had no weight while I should be always ready to satisfy his needs. Not to even mention that I was the only one keeping the house tidy and often told him that which he would always make a joke about and never took me seriously. He had really hard time with communication aswell which resulted in us having arguments of not having sex for a while. I was working long days, came home and was often very tired and he would never be clear about wanting sex, instead he would just assume that I somehow have to know that he wants sex (while he was not giving any signs) and that i have to do everything in sex which caused arguments and made him cry after he let things build-up for weeks. It was incredibly frustrating to me! Then recently I traveled to my homeland for over a month because i got the chance, asked him to come to my parents when his holiday started which he would just find an excuse to see them instead on Christmas. For 4 years since I moved to his country, he never followed me to my homeland to meet my family. It frustrated me that he clearly didnt even put an effort on it. While I was away I had a realization that this wasnt what I want. I had been falling out of love with him already and finally understood that I really dont have to be together with a person that couldnt respect me or support me in a country that made me feel lonely. I returned to our home and I told him about everything and that I wanted to move back to my homeland. He was very upset and crying but seemed like he understood. For a little moment. He started going through a lot of moodswings and told me on the 3rd day of me being home that he didnt want me there. So I travelled on the 4th day to my homeland to stay at my parents and felt instantly better even if I had pain on my chest. Ever since that he has been texting and calling me every day about wanting to start over. He tells me how terrible he feels, how he wants to kill himself and sends pictures of himself crying. He even drove to my parents house to another country (12h drive) even after i told him that i want to be alone. I wasnt home though so he left after I called and told him to leave. I have talked with him on phone so many times but it feels like I just have to constantly keep repeating myself over and over. I asked him for a week alone without constant texting and calling and he said fine. The very next day he texted me again so I blocked him everywhere for a week (I left a message to him explaining why I block him) and he has been calling me every day and even made a new instagram to contact me. He keeps sending me how he is a new man and how he really loves me. He sends me how he wants to go on a date again and make me fall in love with him again. He even sent my mom bunch of unsteady messages and pictures of himself crying. Then at some point during that week he started threatening that he will send my nudes to my friends and family if I didnt answer. All this happened because I asked him for a week without him and I blocked him because he didnt respect my wish. He thinks still that I will fall back in love with him since he feels like a new man now. However all this has made me feel like he is extremely mentally unstable and it makes me feel like I have made a right decision getting away from him. Any advice?

TL;DR I fell out of love with my boyfriend of 7 years because of lack of support and he has not left me alone ever since I left.

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* This article was originally published here

Friday, August 26, 2022

My (f27) Best Friend (f26) tried to get with my boyfriend (m35)

TL;DR; My best friend tried to make my boyfriend cheat on me.

So we’ll call my (f27) best friend Amber (f26) and my boyfriend Nick (m35). We were all out with a group of our friends and we stayed at Amber’s afterwards. I went to bed early as I was sober and driving and I was very tired.

As far as I was aware, the others had a drink downstairs as I went to bed. I’ve been tired recently, very busy starting a new job and dealing with health complications.

The next morning, everyone seemed normal except Amber was nursing an unbelievable hangover. The rest of us went home and nothing was said.

A few days later, Nick told me that he wanted to tell me something but he was terrified of ruining my friendship with Amber, so I pressed him and he told me that Amber had tried to kiss him, put her hands in his underwear and told him that if he ever left me, he knew where she was.

The whole thing sounds crazy to me, but I hate the fact that Amber’s behaviour doesn’t really shock me. Nothing else has been said or done in the days since, and Amber hasn’t tried anything else or really spoken to Nick, except Amber has tried her hardest to make sure I don’t find out what happened.

She doesn’t know that I know, and she’s begged Nick not to tell me. I’m not sure if this is out of guilt for her drunken actions and she knows it was a drunken mistake, or because she still feels that way and doesn’t want me to know.

Also I feel like it’s worth mentioning that Nick rejected her at the first opportunity and told her there wasn’t a hope in hell that he would ever hurt me, but she still persisted. Other friends of mine and Nick’s have confirmed Nick’s story.

What do I do?!?!

submitted by /u/Last-Culture4795
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* This article was originally published here

Wednesday, August 24, 2022

My (36M) Girlfriend (19F) has a REALLY fast resting heart rate and she won't go to the doctor to get it checked out and brushes it off like it's nothing, am I being paranoid?

TLDR: Girlfriend has resting heart rate of about 130BPM, but whenever I urge her to go to the doctor she just changes the subject, laughs it off, or tries to distract me with sex of food.

I met my current girlfriend about six months ago at the Muay Thai gym I go to (I live in Thailand, although I'm a US citizen, not sure if that's relevant).

I had seen her there often and she seemed really fit and active -- she's always doing something whether it be boxing or going out long-boarding or even running in some local fun-runs. One night at a BBQ at the gym we hooked up and have been together since. And it's been great! And I really haven't noticed anything wrong until recently.

About a month ago I noticed something I hadn't seen before. We were laying in bed in the morning and her Apple watch screen lit up with an alert like "high heart rate" or something and I see her heart rate is like 130 BPM.

I'm like holy shit -- we're just laying here doing nothing -- why is her heart rate so high? So I asked her about it and she said it's been like that for a couple of years. It started two years ago (coincidentally around the time she got her C-shots -- not saying that's the reason, but it seems to have started directly after).

And I asked further about whether this spike in heart rate happens just sometimes or if it's sustained -- and she showed me the heart rate history on the app and her heart rate is like at a CONSTANT 100+ BPM at rest. Like even 115BPM when she's sleeping, which is bananas.

For comparison, my resting heart rate fluctuates between 47BPM and 56 BPM. I work out up to 2 hours a day around 6 days a week, but even so I have bad habits that she doesn't have. Like I will definitely smoke a pack of cigarettes and drink a TON of beer once or even sometimes twice a week on the weekends if I'm not training for a fight or something. And she doesn't smoke at all.

Even if she did like ZERO activity -- and had a healthy body weight (she's super skinny) -- her resting BPM should be between 60 and 80 at the upper limit.

I'm ESPECIALLY worried because 10 years ago I had a girlfriend who I loved very much, die unexpectedly in her sleep. I was 26 and she was 25. She died while visiting her family in Kenya and the only answer I got back about what happened was something to do with an irregular heart beat.

I've told her this and told her my concern and asked many times to please let's just go to the doctor and get it checked out.

But every time I bring it up she laughs or plays it off and then she tries to distract me by basically making me food or trying to have sex with me.

I've tried to stay serious about it and be like "No -- don't do that, let's take this serious" but she just keeps cracking jokes, getting touchy-feely, or trying to do something nice for me and it gets to the point where I just feel stupid to keep talking about it.

But I'm really worried and I don't know how to express how serious I think this might be.

Do you guys have any advice?

submitted by /u/Ahoomanbeanzz
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* This article was originally published here

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

My gf(20f) broke up with me and wants to be friends..

So we were dating for 8 months and on fortnight of my birthday she said she's feeling suffocated in this relationship as she always thinks about how I feel before making any post on social media even though I never judged her for anything and convinced her for not to overthink...I wanted this to work and i am still trying but not sure weather I'll win her again as she just want a friendship now because she doesn't want to lose me either...

TL;DR; My gf broke up and wants to be friends. However I want a relationship and trying to win her again.

submitted by /u/Sad-Neighborhood-813
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* This article was originally published here

Monday, August 22, 2022

My boyfriend ( M, 23 ) went on a trip with two girls and his male friend. Do you think this is right ?

My boyfriend (M, 23) and I (F, 22) have been together for two years. We've had our ups and lows and we struggled many times as we both have communication issues but we handle things quite well cause we love and respect each other. Or this is what I thought until last week. He came to me with supposedly "great news???" he told me that his friend invited him to go on a trip with two girls whom I know pretty well. To give you some context, we've basically fought many times because of the two girls, they're pretty provocative and one of them had a strong crush on my boyfriend for a long time. He liked to be friendly with her and I wanted him to put her back to her place cause she frustrated me. Anyway, she's in a relationship with his friend now (the one with the invitation) and the other is just like her, provocative and also very beautiful so you can understand why I didn't want him to go on this trip. He doesn't have any girl friends or whatever so this is pretty new to me. After many explanations over why I didn't want him to go, he just told me " oh I wanna go, I need to go on a trip cause I don't feel so well, you must understand, you don't have to worry, the girl is with my friend and I don't care about the other one " so I broke up with him cause I felt betrayed and kept remembering the many times I wanted to do stuff for myself and didn't cause it frustrated him. It's been 3 days that he's on that trip and he keeps sending me " I love you " texts and I left him on seen. I don't feel okay and I don't even wanna go to work. Did I overreact ? Or was I right to take my decision ?

TL;DR: my boyfriend went on a trip with his male friend and two girls which disappointed me a lot. We had fights over one of the girls all the time cause she liked him so much. He didn't care about my feelings and just went for it saying " nothing would ever happen, I love you so much " I don't feel okay. What do you think about this ?

submitted by /u/Seaflooding
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* This article was originally published here

Sunday, August 21, 2022

I dont know how to continue this relationship

I (27F) have a definitive love/hate relationship with my Father (54M). It sounds so weird to say it that way, but I do. The love part is the advice he gives me, he came every weekend when we were renovating our house to help and that was the most we ever talked, when he tries hard he can be a good father.

But most of the time hes a complete asshole. My parents have their own business but she does all the work. He sits on the couch from morning to night playing clash of clans all fucking day long while shes stressing. He has no problem calling us out, even today saying basically my husband was a girl for going to my aunts baby shower among the other men going - and yes he stayed home on the couch. He wont go to my aunts babies birthday because he wants to sit on the couch and not socialize with other people. He told me today I didnt text him at all this month meanwhile he never reaches out to me first, ever. He thinks its fun pushing buttons meanwhile making everyone upset. The amount of times hes yelled or degraded my mom in front of my sister and I is probably more than a hundred - and the answer is thats just how he is.

I legitimately dont know how to talk to him about anything, if I was alone with him I would be uncomfortable. I feel like I cant confront him because then he’ll probably make fun of me for it, or brush it off or turn it back on me. The worst part is he makes me feel liKe its normal and I dont want to be like him. I dont know what to talk to him about or how to confront him on this

Tl;dr: My dad is a jerk most times and says hurtful things, then gets upset when I never reach out to him and idk how to continue this relationship

submitted by /u/meekie03
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* This article was originally published here