I (25F) have recently ended almost a 7 year long relationship with a man (24M) from another country. We were in a long distance relationship for 3 years at the start and then i decided to move to his country to live with him for 4 years. Everything was good in the start but I think that in the end I didnt really know him that well. It took me a long time to realize that he wasnt really supporting me in anyway. I moved to this other country for him and he never helped me with learning the language. He was also often very cold and seemed annoyed when I asked him for help with anything. His parents were the ones supporting me and helping me with moving and stuff. I tried my best to get friends in his country, people were nice but didnt really keep in contact. I would say that i am not an extreme extrovert but still have social manners where my boyfriend is an extreme introvert and seems to lack on any social manners which makes him seem very quiet and rude. When we traveled to meet my family or friends he would hardly even greet them and didnt talk with them and it made me often feel really bad. I had a stressful job and would often work the whole day which gave us like 3 hours before bedtime to have time for eachother. I always went to say hello to him after coming home and found him playing and he often seemed really annoyed that I "disturbed" him. Then whenever I would be playing or talking with my friends on computer he suddenly decided to want affection from me. Like cuddling or sex. It made me feel like my needs had no weight while I should be always ready to satisfy his needs. Not to even mention that I was the only one keeping the house tidy and often told him that which he would always make a joke about and never took me seriously. He had really hard time with communication aswell which resulted in us having arguments of not having sex for a while. I was working long days, came home and was often very tired and he would never be clear about wanting sex, instead he would just assume that I somehow have to know that he wants sex (while he was not giving any signs) and that i have to do everything in sex which caused arguments and made him cry after he let things build-up for weeks. It was incredibly frustrating to me! Then recently I traveled to my homeland for over a month because i got the chance, asked him to come to my parents when his holiday started which he would just find an excuse to see them instead on Christmas. For 4 years since I moved to his country, he never followed me to my homeland to meet my family. It frustrated me that he clearly didnt even put an effort on it. While I was away I had a realization that this wasnt what I want. I had been falling out of love with him already and finally understood that I really dont have to be together with a person that couldnt respect me or support me in a country that made me feel lonely. I returned to our home and I told him about everything and that I wanted to move back to my homeland. He was very upset and crying but seemed like he understood. For a little moment. He started going through a lot of moodswings and told me on the 3rd day of me being home that he didnt want me there. So I travelled on the 4th day to my homeland to stay at my parents and felt instantly better even if I had pain on my chest. Ever since that he has been texting and calling me every day about wanting to start over. He tells me how terrible he feels, how he wants to kill himself and sends pictures of himself crying. He even drove to my parents house to another country (12h drive) even after i told him that i want to be alone. I wasnt home though so he left after I called and told him to leave. I have talked with him on phone so many times but it feels like I just have to constantly keep repeating myself over and over. I asked him for a week alone without constant texting and calling and he said fine. The very next day he texted me again so I blocked him everywhere for a week (I left a message to him explaining why I block him) and he has been calling me every day and even made a new instagram to contact me. He keeps sending me how he is a new man and how he really loves me. He sends me how he wants to go on a date again and make me fall in love with him again. He even sent my mom bunch of unsteady messages and pictures of himself crying. Then at some point during that week he started threatening that he will send my nudes to my friends and family if I didnt answer. All this happened because I asked him for a week without him and I blocked him because he didnt respect my wish. He thinks still that I will fall back in love with him since he feels like a new man now. However all this has made me feel like he is extremely mentally unstable and it makes me feel like I have made a right decision getting away from him. Any advice?
TL;DR I fell out of love with my boyfriend of 7 years because of lack of support and he has not left me alone ever since I left.
[link] [comments]
* This article was originally published here
No comments:
Post a Comment