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Tuesday, August 2, 2022

I (19F) don't know how to help my sister (23F) grow up.

My older sister (22 years old) has just finished university, and yet she still acts like a child. She's obsessed with fantasy games and YA books, which is all she does all day. Now these would be perfectly fine as interests, but ever since she's been home this is all she's done.

She doesn't help around with the chores in the house, as she stays up late playing games, so only wakes up at 1pm, once we're already having lunch. Whenever you ask her to do anything, she complains and asks you why you don't do it since you're already up. Or, she claims she's feeling tired, has a migraine, has a stomachache, truly any excuse imaginable. She's constantly bothered by some apparent affliction that prevents her from doing anything but playing games on her phone or watching the same tv shows over and over.

She also has retained weird behaviors from our childhood. We used to have "assigned seating", which if I don't respect she gets insanely angry about, to the point that she'll become physically aggressive. She is very territorial over her belongings, including basic items like cups, which she does not allow me to use.

She is meant to look for a job, but is stalling on doing so. She claims that she "needs time" and can't rush things, which really ties in with her inability to budget, as she spends huge amounts monthly. She has a general lack of understanding of finances and monetary value. She says that she'll just "open a company", with no plan, no idea of the workings of a business. My parents and I keep on trying to tell her that she needs to change, but she's stubborn, asserting that her spending is normal, and that the rest of her friends are taking a break before working. It's getting concerning.

I don't know how to help her. She has a tunnel vision when it comes to her life. Whenever me and my parents give her advice, she bursts out crying like a child, saying that "she doesn't want to talk about this right now" and goes upstairs on her phone again. It's truly tiring me out. I'm tired of feeling concerned each time I look at her, but I want her to get out of this rut and grow and develop. How can I help her see that she needs to change her attitude to life?

TL;DR: my sister refuses to grow up, not letting go of old childish habits and refusing to develop an understanding of budgeting/to get a job. I don't know how to help her see that she needs to change.

submitted by /u/Particular-Piccolo96
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* This article was originally published here

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