Protecting your health at the holidays: Avoid 'extreme stress' in relationships - WJXT News4JAX

Protecting your health at the holidays: Avoid 'extreme stress' in relationships  WJXT News4JAX

* This article was originally published here

My fiancé (22M) wants me (22F) to forgive his family for calling me a demon, amongst other things

Hi everyone. My fiancé and I have been dating for almost three years and I had moved in with his family during the Covid phase about a month into our relationship. I understand things moved fast, however it sort of fell into place as I was a student living in a dorm and the dormitories were closing due to the Covid breakout and we thought it would be nice to stay with the family and get to know them for a few weeks.

I (22F) had been living with a cousin due to family troubles and haven’t had a stable home. After some time with my fiancé and his family, I saw stability and love in them so I decided to go for the move.

My fiancés (22M) mother is hardcore religious catholic with the statues and everything. I don’t mind this but she happens to push her religion hard on everyone around her.

Fast forward to September 2022, I was a recent graduate looking for job opportunities. Where we were residing the job market was almost nonexistent and I was left unemployed and looking for work for a few months. I brought up the topic of moving up north to his sister's house to find a job up there. They quickly turned down the conversation due to my fiancé already holding a minimum wage down south and that we needed to leave together.

I was already receiving messages from interested parties regarding opportunities up north so I felt strongly about making this move. I wanted to start making money so that I could start building a future with my fiancé. Aside from all that, ten of us lived in a single-family house. His brother stayed in the basement, his sister and her three kids in a single room, us in one room, and his parents in the master bedroom. Needless to say I needed space to start my career and future.

My fiancés family believes in strong family ethics and they do everything together. His brother, dad, brother-in-law, and uncle all drive trucks. His sister stays at home to watch the kids and his mother has been a stay-at-home mom since he was born. I have this feeling that they want me to follow in their steps and settle down and have kids while my fiancé works hence then stopping me from leaving.

Eventually, I found a job up north that gave me a generous offer well over my starting range and my cousin happened to be moving into her own apartment in the area. I decided to take the leap and told MIL a couple of days before moving out in the middle of September and I would be making the move for the job. Literal moments before telling her about the move, she came rushing home and asked me to babysit her grandkids for the day and abruptly told me that she will be going up north for gastric bypass surgery and wont be back until the day after I would have already moved out. The thing was I had already taken the job offer and needed to move up north at a certain time. We have known that she would be getting the surgery, however, they needed her to go for some testing the day before and dropped the bomb on me out of nowhere.

As my MIL was packing with her daughter, I dropped the news to her and she did not take it well and passive-aggressively told me 'good luck' before leaving with her daughter for the testing. Not five minutes after that she called my fiance at work and told him I would be leaving to go cheat on him and that I can't be trusted and wanted me gone by the next day. I had enough of the drama and everything else and packed what I could for the day. During the whole day, my fiance and his family had back-and-forth arguments over the phone over me. they called me a demon, that I can go to hell, useless, not right for him. His brother threw me under the bus and snitched to his mom that I was bisexual and smoked weed (although I had been clean for 2 years) just to add fuel to the fire. His dad called him stupid for staying with me.

Everyone sort of piled onto me to make me look bad towards his MIL and everything was just going downhill. My fiance admitted mistakenly over the phone when he thought it was muted that I've made him the happiest in his life and that his family makes him miserable. At this point, my fiance was facing eviction and I was willing to take him with me to my cousins. He had to call his job to tell him he was kicked out and wouldn't be going back. His sister made a jab that if my fiance wanted to end up without family like me by leaving, which I thought was very uncalled for.

After hours of agonizing arguments and realizing that they would be losing their son, they were saying that they were sorry and to please don't go that they she will die without her son. I ended up having a heart-to-heart with my fiance and told him to please stay for the sake of keeping his family otherwise he would lose them for good, and I didn't want to be the reason that they broke apart.

Fast forward to today, his MIL has fully recovered from her gastric bypass, and wants to make amends with me. During the two months I've been away from their home, I had broken up with my fiance due to the stress and panic attacks I would get from his family. We got back together after a week and decided to try to heal things. The problem is this: His mother is famous for saying the worst things she can say to someone, apologizing when she is no longer mad, and then repeating that cycle.

Because I don't have much family, I was happy to take in my fiances family as my own. They owned ten dogs that shit and pissed everywhere, I would always vacuum and mop and clean and help tutor his sister's kids. I was always supportive and the moment I decided to move toward my own life, they pushed back. At this point, I feel like my relationship with them is beyond repair as it would require me to allow them to continue to step on me when they choose to, and I don't think anyone would be offering a sincere apology other than her mom, who is bound to repeat the cycle again.

My fiance wants me to speak with his mom so that our issues are resolved. I still feel very hurt and don't want the issue to be pushed under the rug like I know it will be. His other family members are very stubborn in their belief that they are right and I'm confident that they will see nothing wrong in what they have said to me. It is easy to just leave my finance and turn away from this mess, however, I feel devastated that something that is out of my fiance's hands is what would end our relationship.

TLDR; My fiance wants me to speak with his mom to resolve our relationship after she called me some nasty names. I feel strongly against it.

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* This article was originally published here

Help me(m22) pls, I can't stop thinking about her (f20)

I am suffering emotionally. I've been single for the past month, and I definitely have moved on from the end of the relationship. The problem here is that even though I'm not dwelling on the sad ending of my past relationship, I'm stuck on this wonderful lady I've known for a little over a year.

She's more than a lady, she's a DEAR friend of mine, whose conversations, attention, and time I can't ever seem to get enough of. In my bed on sleepless nights, I drift between various thoughts in my head; the thought of me being her man is a recurring one, and one I can't seem to suppress. I started folding origami cranes when I'm lost in thought about her. It's hardly been two weeks and I'm averaging 2 cranes a day.

I know there's a "no-date" window when it comes to recently single people, plus I KNOW that I need to focus on myself. All I can say is, it'll be months before I can see her in person; if she ends up in a relationship before then, no matter my circumstances, I will be HURT. I would be supportive, however.

I'm writing this post so I can avoid the urge to text her. It used to be that I could talk to her freely and look forward to chatting again. Now I fear she'll grow tired of me and will no longer want me as a friend. Once I find the date of when I get to see her again, it'll be marked on the calendar. Until then, I'll treasure her in my memory and in any brief conversation we have; so that when the time comes I can treasure her in person, like I couldn't do when we first met over a year ago.

Its times like these I hope to God women aren't lying to me about the friendzone being a myth.

TLDR: I have a massive crush on a distant friend. I cannot stop thinking about her; I know I'll see her in person soon. I just hope I can see her soon enough so I can tell her.

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* This article was originally published here

How we met: ‘She was bloody gorgeous. As soon as she said hello, I knew I was in trouble’

Andy, 46, and Shalini, 39, met six years ago at a Christmas fair on the Caribbean island of Curaçao. They plan to move in together soon

In 2016, finding love was the last thing on Andy’s mind. A scuba diving accident four years earlier had left him with a spinal cord injury, and his primary focus was recovery. “I am from Curaçao and there isn’t much social security here, so I’d moved back in with my parents for support,” he says. “I spent my time blogging about life with disability and I set up a business selling lanterns made from recycled cans, to make some extra money.”

That December, Andy was invited to a Christmas fair to sell his products. After he set up his stall, he saw a woman behind him, who had arrived late. “Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed she was bloody gorgeous,” he says. Throughout the event, he tried to avoid speaking to her. “I’m a sensitive person and knew I didn’t want to fall for anyone at that time,” he says.

Continue reading...

* This article was originally published here

He wants to convert to Islam

I (25,F) have been seeing this guy (25,M), who is a very kind and lovely person for a couple of weeks. He treats me very respectfully and we seem to have great chemistry. He even gifted me a sentimental necklace, which is something no man has ever done for me. I have been wishing to find a serious man who shows effort and commitment.

Now on to the issue: I am an atheist who left my church and has no plans on having religion in an active form in my life. He used to be an atheist as well until a few years ago (now he believes in god) and wants to convert to Islam. Part of his family comes from an Islamic country in Africa and he wants to fully connect with them through Islam. I have no issue with my partner believing in a higher power or being part of a religion especially if for instance his parents decided that for him as long as he is not practicing or a too devouted believer.

However, this is not the case here. The thing is, he told me that he is in fact planning on actively practicing Islam (No drinking, Praying, taking part in Ramadan, maybe stop eating pork,…). He would not expect me to convert or believe the same but that I respect and support his conversion and practice. What worries me is that he is very young and already so deeply motivated to becoming a part of a another religion and even would like to actively practice it. It makes me think it’s quite a bit a different scenario to beeing born into it and going along with it and I wonder if he could become more and more involved in the religion as time goes on.

Ultimately, I ended things with him because I do not think that I can support him the way he‘d wish/need me to. And I am very worried that since he will be a converted believer, who actively practices, his beliefs will only get stronger and stronger with time and age as I already mentioned.

However, I still regularly see him in our friends group and we do have great chemistry and I greatly appreciate the person he is. I am wondering if I overreacted and said goodbye to a possibly great match but I take relationships and religion extremely seriously and believe that it’s important to be on the same page when it comes to beliefs especially when actively practiced.

Would you have given it a serious long term shot if you had been in my position?

Tl;Dr I ended things with a guy I was seeing because he wants to convert and actively start practicing Islam

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* This article was originally published here

Am I anything to him? Im so confused

I (21F) have strong feelings for this guy (25M). Unfortunately i met him 2months ago, 5days before i moved abroad for studies :( When i met him for the first time it felt like i knew him for ages. We have had 10 dates so far. 4 days in a row before i moved. And 7 dates in a row last week when i was visiting home.

When im not around he doesnt text at all. I guess cuz there is no point. Unless i do ofc then he replies. He also never complimented me or expressed his feelings.

But when I was around, he already brought me to his office, introduced me to his colleagues, invited me to his friends hang out, trusted me with his house keys when i slept over and he had to leave early for work, he met my friends, and yeah he did go out with me days in a row...

TL;DR: We met very recently. He treats me like a gf but never unitiated or expressed anything...

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* This article was originally published here

Reconnecting with my EX

I dont want to hear that i shouldnt or things like that please.

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We were together for 1 year.

So obv we broke up...but not in a bad way she wanted to stay like a friend but i couldnt do that so i cut everything with her and then i started going on therapy that helped me change perspective about that. Now i can see that we can maybe rekindle our relationship and start again but there is small problem.

It was long distance relationship and we were connected through discord and i dont think that going to visit her is good idea rn. but now that we were not together anymore she found new friends on discord from diffrent contries so she is spending time with them and obv she cant just go and start doing all the activities that we used to do together again with me after few days(few days of texting her)...i need to reconnect somehow so we can talk more or text more but i dont know how to do that...i dont want to push her and spam her. I dont want to text her everyday so i dont feel pushy and needy + spamming her isnt good idea. But i kinda just dont want to text her once in a month. I would like to try reconnect slowly but im clueless how to do it

yesterday when we texted she said that she doesnt want to open to another person about her problems cuz others just refuse to "know her" ( i mean her fav things and so on) and that i was the only one who cared.

so i would like to ask you Reddit How should i proceed and not fuck up things? how should i not look needy and pushy and not annoying her with my texts?

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TL;DR! : We broke up i refused to be friends i cut all connection. i went to therapy and they changed my Prespective and now we are Reconnecting but i would like to ask you how to do it properly so i dont fuck things up,

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* This article was originally published here