My(15F) boyfriend's (16M) dad and swim coach made/allowed him to ride in the boot of a car

Ok so a bit of backstory, my boyfriend of two years does competitive swimming, like nationals level. His dad makes him do it, but he refuses to quit or anything. In the past, his dad has done stuff like make him go swimming even if he's sick, and basically hold swimming at a higher importance than anything else. Often my boyfriend isn't allowed to go out with the friend group, because he has swimming on, or he has some important race and his dad is worried he'll get injured or something.

This week he's been across the country for open water nationals, and he's been staying with his dad and his coach and other members of his club. In the past, there's been issues with the coach, like calling people lazy if they don't do extra training (he already trains twice a day 6 days a week) and overall being negative towards the swimmers.

There's been like a three hour time difference, so communication has been difficult, but this morning as we were talking, he sent me a picture of him in the cars boot and said that he was riding to the beach in the car boot because there were too many people to fit in the one car. I'm sorry what?!?

Ok, one, that's illegal, and two, that dangerous. I just can't believe his dad would let him do something like that. Like that's crazy dangerous and it's wrong on so many levels!!

I'm really confused on what in the world to do because I really don't wanna lose my bf, but I don't know if I can just let this go with a good conscience. I don't want him to be put in danger, let alone by adults who are supposed to be looking after him. I could really use some advice, so any help is appreciated. ☺️

TL;DR My(15f) bf's(16M) dad holds my bf to very high expectations around swimming, this week he had nationals and was made to sit in the car boot on the way to the beach beacuse there were too many people to fit in the car.

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My (53m) daughter (18f) thinks that I give more attention to the children I have with my current wife (35f) and that's damaging our relationship

A few days ago my (53m) eldest daughter (18f) lost her phone, probably for the third time in a span of two years. I don't know what she does with the phones, if someone steals them or what, I only know that she loses them and wants me to buy her a new one every time. And every time she lost them I would pay what the insurance asked me in addition to the annual payment, and she would get a new phone. And the truth is that I can afford it but now I want her to learn a lesson and learn to take care of her belongings because she is an adult and she has to learn to be responsible, so this time I refused to buy her a new one.

I told her if she wants she can take my wife's (35f) old phone until she gets a job and pays herself a new one, and she got mad and told me that she wants me to give the old phone to her sister (12F) so that she can take hers, which is a newer model. And I said no because I don't think it's fair, my twelve year old daughter waited for that phone for months until my wife and I decided it was time to buy her one because she is old enough to have her first phone. Well, now my eldest daughter is furious and told my ex, her mother, that I no longer treat her like I used to, that I treat the children (12f, 10f, 8f, 4m, 2m, 1f) I have with my current wife better, and that is not true, I love them all equally and for that very reason I want her to learn a lesson because I'm not going to always be there for her and she has to learn to be responsible. But my ex doesn't understand that, she believed her lies and now she accuses me of being a bad father and said that if I don't buy her a new phone my daughter will never forgive me, that all her friends have modern phones and that she would be embarrassed to have such an old one. But I won't do that, for years I spoiled her too much because I felt guilty for breaking up with her mom when she was so young and now i want to do what i should have always done and teach her not to be so spoiled, because clearly that will only bring her problems in her adult life.

She's never been jealous of her sisters or had a bad relationship with my wife in the sixteen years we've been together, so I don't know what's wrong with her. I tried to talk to her mom, with whom I have a bad relationship, but she only told me what I said above about the phone and that was it she doesn't even want to cooperate to find out what's wrong with our daughter. And that makes me desperate, because she lives with me but still I can't figure out what is happening to her, I just know that for the slightest thing she gets angry with her siblings. Last night my one year old daughter was playing near my older daughter, and at one point she threw a toy that hit the tv and my older daughter started yelling and telling her to behave, and she made her cry and my wife told her not to yell at her and she got even angrier and said horrible things to her. And we're all shocked because she never said anything bad about my wife or our relationship, so we're really confused because we don't know where all this sudden anger came from. I just know that I want to fix this matter as soon as possible but I don't even know how.

tl;dr "My (53m) daughter (18f) thinks that I give more attention to the children I have with my current wife (35f) and that's damaging our relationship "

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Should I (24M) lie to my crush (F21) ?

I really haven't had genuine feelings for people over a long time and have just been having meaningless relationships for the last year and a half. There is this girl that I really adore looking at and listening to. She's super fun to talk to and you can understand her intelligence even 1min into the conversation. I really don't wanna screw it up with her because we've been chatting for a while and I think I have a shot with her (maybe it's a slight chance but idk).

The other day when we were talking about movies she suggested a psychological drama and I told her I'd definitely check it out however I am not feeling okay enough to watch something like that. Should I google stuff about the movie and tell her that I watched it or should I just let it go and wait for another opportunity to have a chat with this girl?

Thanks a lot in advance and I'm sorry if this is a no-good question.

**TL;DR;** : A girl who I have a crush on suggested a movie but I don't want to watch it, should I lie?

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* This article was originally published here

My (M23) girlfriend (F20) does some things that make me uncomfortable but I don't know if I'm right to be uncomfortable about them

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months and in the early stages, everything was perfect, as is the case in most honeymoon phases. But after about the second month, she started acting a strange. We went to a party of my mutual friend and she completely left me and went to go talk to others. I would be fine with that except she went and talked to every guy she could find, and I didn't see her talk to a single girl. She also made a point to touch every single one of them. Nothing major, just a touch on the shoulder or on the arm, but I saw that as flirting.

We had a talk about it and sorted everything out but a little while later, she got touchy with a guy in front of me again. I obviously told her I was still uncomfortable and she said she was sorry and explained it as "I don't have a lot of friends so I use the fact guys might like me to try and make them my friend". I honestly don't know what to make of that.

She's done other things, such as lie to me a lot (which we worked through and she doesn't anymore, or at least to my knowledge), I found out she was talking to her exes a lot, which I said I was uncomfortable with and she said she would stop. I would soon find out she hadn't and was still messaging them on social media. She has since blocked them though. She has recently asked a dude she half knows out for a drink and they wound up going swimming after, though she promises it was purely because she was in need for a friend.

She lives in a small town with a controlling family, works a lot of jobs, doesn't gave a lot of real friends and she barely gets time off to just have fun. I feel bad for her so of course I want to be understanding, but I'm not sure whether or not the stuff she does are red flags or not, because I see where she's coming from and I honestly think her intentions are pure. But her actions are completely against what she says.

Am I crazy, or is this relationship a bad idea?

TL;DR girlfriend acts strange around guys because she doesn't have a lot of friends and idk what to make of it

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Me (25F) mother of 3, wants to leave my children and partner (27M)

I'm a mother to 3 under 3 and have been in a relationship with their father for over 8 years.

My mental health has been all over the place since my mother died over 4 years ago and sister nearly 3 years in February. I wouldn't say I was normally close with them due to being in foster care nearly my entire childhood. But since they are gone and it's just me and my older brother who I'm also not as close to, I regret not trying hard enough when they were here and now the prospect of living however long I've got to be sad. But I wouldn't say my mental health deteriorated out of nowhere, I've kept it under the surface for a long time and only comes out after big life events like te bitrh of my 3rd child in November. I've been in a mother and baby unit since December for severe depression and OCD but all came to a had yesterday when discharge date was set for in 2 weeks where I can't take the idea of my illness affecting how to b a parent and not wanting to be with my partner which I have felt for a long time so I want to walk from his 'toxic cocktail' which I call it. Everyone thinks I'm making a big mistake, my partner is saying is okay not to be with him just as long I com home and b part of a family together bu I think that's messed u. It's not fair on him to bed over backwards to quit his job anbea full time parent with me to help my mental health,I just can't go back

TL;DR: I want to leave my family as my mental health can't deal with staying

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my (18F) dad (50M) makes my life hard

i really need a parent perspective on this. my friends are obviously my age, and are biased to my opinions of whats right and wrong. please try to take what i say as non biased and i want to make this story fair.

cut a long story short to how i got in this situation, both parents (60F/50M) aren’t/werent good parents to me (18F). mum was a mum who put me on diet from age 7, chose what i wear/how i cut my hair/how i dye my hair until age 15, she was a shouty mum and all over just stressful. she kicked me out when i was nearing the end of age 15 saying she’d had enough (also did this to my other two siblings.)

i went to stay at my dads. my dad and i saw each other once a week before this, but we weren’t close. he doesn’t speak to me i don’t speak to him type thing. I spoke to my step mum a lot but then i saw she’d sent a text message to her friend saying how annoying i was- relationship soured lol.

my step mum isn’t from my country and so when covid laws lifted, she went back to her country for 2 weeks at a time, coming back for one week. i’m nearing the end of 16 at this point. In those 2 weeks she was away, my dad told me it was my job to keep the house tidy, as he worked. i said i go to college everyday, get up earlier than him, get home later than him. i don’t want to be cleaning the whole house. he didn’t really listen to me. keep in mind btw, my dad did nothing with me. for my 17th birthday we went to my step mum & his favourite restaurant- a steak house. i’m vegetarian. i’m trying to get across he really just didn’t think about me & i just accepted i didn’t have a relationship with him more than roommates

each morning i’d be given a list of things to do (hoover, mop, clean his bedroom, change his bedding, clean the kitchen, put a wash on) and stuff. i found this stressful bc if i didn’t finish it all in 2 hours he’d just start shouting at me. i don’t take well to being shouted at & close off. days out with my friends ended up being us cleaning the house together- because if it wasn’t clean when he came home he’d shout.

i tried to bring this stress up to my grandparents & my step mum- that he did nothing in the house, left it all to me, including cooking my own food. he gave me no spending money at all, and if took any (with his permission) he’d count it before hand. we didn’t have a father daughter relationship before this, and i didn’t take to him parenting me. he was a stranger, i felt like a live in maid (dramatic, i know.)

this went on for about a year, until i literally couldn’t take the stress of missing my mum, college work & keeping the house as my own- i dropped out of college bc i was falling so far behind. i decided to get a job in this time because i didn’t want to be doing nothing for 4/5 months straight. here i worked about 30 hours a week.

the following year came along & i needed £400 to enrol into the college. i am not close with my dad as i said, so i asked my step mum to ask him about it- about july. she never got back to me.

context again; in May i started to speak to my mother again. we had not spoken at all in 2 years. my dad disliked the fact i was speaking to her again. until august, i wouldn’t go to her house. but then we ended up having a big heart to heart in the car where we got it all out & i ended up sleeping at her house.

i slept at her house for a few nights in a row, maybe a week. i’d text where i was but then i decided they knew were i was, and there wasn’t much point in texting every night. i see now this annoyed them- at the time it was innocent. then in sept, college started back up. my dad decided at this point, he would not pay for my bus pass as for the last 2 weeks, i’d been sleeping at my mums house- so i now lived at hers.

i didn’t feel right asking my mum, a few months into meeting her again for £400. my dad said he’d only pay for half of it as he was split custody now. (he wasn’t, legally, btw.)

my step mum said she’d never stick for that, and that she would give the money back if she were me. so i did. and ended up paying for the bus pass from money i’d saved up from work.

i feel i can’t really forgive my dad for this. i called him nasty names - worst being “part time dad” lol.

i stopped speaking to him when we had a huge argument over this & i basically screamed the house down saying how bad of a dad he was. i left him a letter with my feelings, which he replied back saying it was a “total joke”.

i don’t know. maybe i am biased to think her a bad dad bc my mum told me that growing up. maybe i’m just crazy & he’s acting normal. can someone please just fuckinf tell me

tdlr; dad stops supporting me bc i’m speaking to my mum again. my parents both treated me bad. i don’t know if i’m being dramatic or not

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Confronting a mate about selfish behaviour

Tl;dr: long standing mate has selfish behaviour traits. How do I call him out?

I’ve been mates with one of my friends for over 10 years. He’s my best friend and we get on great, he’s suffered from deep depression throughout this time and he has limited friends so I guess at times I’ve been really accommodating towards him to support and give him a social life (he doesn’t like to venture out of his town, so when I go back to my hometown I always have to travel to visit him, always being the one to suggest doing things outside of his comfort zone (although we rarely do these things), listening and being there for him when he feels down etc.). He has been told by others that he is quite selfish, and I guess it does feel like I’m always the one driving the friendship and more recently it’s certainly felt that way.

I guess I suffer from my own mental health issues and sometimes this can make me withdraw from texting people unless it’s specifically to make plans to meet them. It’s bad as I end up feeling lonely and isolated, and it feels like a tough mental barrier to overcome. I last text my best mate almost 4 months ago, but I feel like I need to text him soon as I miss his presence in my life. What does annoy me is that I know it’s bad I just didn’t reply one day (although our last conversation had fizzled out rather than me just dropping it), but he hasn’t checked in on me at all in that period, despite knowing I can at times go missing when it all gets too much. There have been loads of times that he’s maybe been slow at replying over a couple of weeks, but I’ve always checked in on him to make sure he’s ok.

I plan on texting him today, but at some point I do want to raise with him the fact that as much as I will apologise for ‘ignoring’ him, it’s annoyed me that he has equally decided not to message. Is this a rational approach to take?

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* This article was originally published here