A few days ago my (53m) eldest daughter (18f) lost her phone, probably for the third time in a span of two years. I don't know what she does with the phones, if someone steals them or what, I only know that she loses them and wants me to buy her a new one every time. And every time she lost them I would pay what the insurance asked me in addition to the annual payment, and she would get a new phone. And the truth is that I can afford it but now I want her to learn a lesson and learn to take care of her belongings because she is an adult and she has to learn to be responsible, so this time I refused to buy her a new one.
I told her if she wants she can take my wife's (35f) old phone until she gets a job and pays herself a new one, and she got mad and told me that she wants me to give the old phone to her sister (12F) so that she can take hers, which is a newer model. And I said no because I don't think it's fair, my twelve year old daughter waited for that phone for months until my wife and I decided it was time to buy her one because she is old enough to have her first phone. Well, now my eldest daughter is furious and told my ex, her mother, that I no longer treat her like I used to, that I treat the children (12f, 10f, 8f, 4m, 2m, 1f) I have with my current wife better, and that is not true, I love them all equally and for that very reason I want her to learn a lesson because I'm not going to always be there for her and she has to learn to be responsible. But my ex doesn't understand that, she believed her lies and now she accuses me of being a bad father and said that if I don't buy her a new phone my daughter will never forgive me, that all her friends have modern phones and that she would be embarrassed to have such an old one. But I won't do that, for years I spoiled her too much because I felt guilty for breaking up with her mom when she was so young and now i want to do what i should have always done and teach her not to be so spoiled, because clearly that will only bring her problems in her adult life.
She's never been jealous of her sisters or had a bad relationship with my wife in the sixteen years we've been together, so I don't know what's wrong with her. I tried to talk to her mom, with whom I have a bad relationship, but she only told me what I said above about the phone and that was it she doesn't even want to cooperate to find out what's wrong with our daughter. And that makes me desperate, because she lives with me but still I can't figure out what is happening to her, I just know that for the slightest thing she gets angry with her siblings. Last night my one year old daughter was playing near my older daughter, and at one point she threw a toy that hit the tv and my older daughter started yelling and telling her to behave, and she made her cry and my wife told her not to yell at her and she got even angrier and said horrible things to her. And we're all shocked because she never said anything bad about my wife or our relationship, so we're really confused because we don't know where all this sudden anger came from. I just know that I want to fix this matter as soon as possible but I don't even know how.
tl;dr "My (53m) daughter (18f) thinks that I give more attention to the children I have with my current wife (35f) and that's damaging our relationship "
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* This article was originally published here
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