I've been with my girlfriend for around 6 years now, but at this point I'm struggling mentally as I really don't know if I'm overthinking things, especially as I was diagnosed with Autism and OCD during my late adult life. Here's the thing... Every weekend I drive 25 miles to pick her up, 25 miles to bring her back to mine to spend time with me, 25 miles back again for her work beginning of the week and 25 miles back to mine. She does drive as both her and her mum use the same car, but at no point as she ever come down to see me. ( I do what I do to spend time with her as much as possible ).
When my Car broke down I asked if she would come down to me, she was less than forthcoming and it was put off to the point my car was fixed and it went back to me picking her up again. But something has happened recently which has really hit home. A friend of her family recently passed away and for someone living at home with her parent, does a small job and gets benefits *at the time* she was given around £150,000.
Visiting her again this time in the week, she promptly asked me if I could "DRIVE" her to a town down her way which was around 20 miles, so she could sell something. I said no I couldn't, as that would mean I'd have to drive a total of over 100 miles in one day and why she couldn't use her car. I asked if she would pay for petrol and I'd happily do it, and all she said was I'd buy you lunch. Even her mum was a little put off by her driving the car. I mean seriously what does it take for her to drive? And what's wrong with helping with petrol, is £150,000 not enough?
She ended up driving because she had to sell something and I put it to her why doesn't she get her own car! She'd have the freedom to drive anywhere she wouldn't have to quibble over who was using the car at the time and she'd be able to visit me on occasions of a weekend ( We'd take it in turns ). The result was a resounding "NO" because she's put all money into other accounts ( to make interest off within the year ) and ONLY has £12,000 in the bank.
I'm really struggling myself financially, every time I have savings it's gone on bills and repairs, I pay all those miles of driving because I care about her and want to see her, I drive around my area too when I pick her up, 90% of the time I pay for dinner. Even though she has on occasions in the past asked if I wanted money towards something ( never petrol ) I'd say NO. Yet if I said the same to her, say she bought lunch or dinner she'd say oh just give me such and such money. Anything she does buy I'm always waiting for the just give me some money.
In fact there was one point she saw something really nice on Ebay and said would you like this? I said yes that looks cool, she said ok you can pay me back the £3 later. I've even been told I should GET another job if I'm struggling. While she was doing a small job, living with her parent(s), making money off commissions at times and on benefits ( medical reasons ).
I have around £1000 in the bank, get around £500- £700 a month and that's to go on such things as council tax, electric bills, food, water bills, internet, mobile phone, car bills and petrol. I spend around £30-40 a week on petrol. And can only afford to have the heating on at the weekends ( it costs around £11 a day by 7am in the morning ( 70's storage heaters ). While she lives with her parent(s), pays a little towards upkeep(?), has £150,000 or was it £12,000 now and is worried about spending any of it.
Her dad was a **** I overheard him saying be careful of that "bloke of yours" when you get the Money, yet I've NEVER asked for any of it, In fact even in the past before all this you'd hear me say I'll buy this I don't want your money. How can someone with £1000 in the bank be struggling as much as someone with £150,000 who lives at home with her parent, I don't understand it :(. I'm really worried about our future together, I love her so so much. But being Autistic this is pushing me to the brink!
**TL;DR; : Girlfriend has come into a lot of Money, but is it wrong to expect more financial input into the relationship especially when she acts as if she is struggling?**.
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