I'm a mother to 3 under 3 and have been in a relationship with their father for over 8 years.
My mental health has been all over the place since my mother died over 4 years ago and sister nearly 3 years in February. I wouldn't say I was normally close with them due to being in foster care nearly my entire childhood. But since they are gone and it's just me and my older brother who I'm also not as close to, I regret not trying hard enough when they were here and now the prospect of living however long I've got to be sad. But I wouldn't say my mental health deteriorated out of nowhere, I've kept it under the surface for a long time and only comes out after big life events like te bitrh of my 3rd child in November. I've been in a mother and baby unit since December for severe depression and OCD but all came to a had yesterday when discharge date was set for in 2 weeks where I can't take the idea of my illness affecting how to b a parent and not wanting to be with my partner which I have felt for a long time so I want to walk from his 'toxic cocktail' which I call it. Everyone thinks I'm making a big mistake, my partner is saying is okay not to be with him just as long I com home and b part of a family together bu I think that's messed u. It's not fair on him to bed over backwards to quit his job anbea full time parent with me to help my mental health,I just can't go back
TL;DR: I want to leave my family as my mental health can't deal with staying
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