Boyfriend won’t have sex with me

For around a year now my partner has not wanted to have sex with me. We were fine for around a year prior casually seeing each other then fine at the start of our relationship but something changed for him and now he just never wants me. I’ve tried to ask what’s wrong and he tells me different things all the time, every reason possible so I don’t know which one it actually is and what I can even help him with. I’ve tried my best for everything I’ve tried to look different wear something nice, do my makeup, not to my makeup, I’ve tried texting him I’ve tried being forward about it or just waiting for him to initiate but nothing happens. We were having sex like once every 6 weeks, I’m 21 I don’t feel like I should be at this stage in my life right now, before I was with him I was seeing lots of people and having regular sex and felt sexually wanted but now I feel so ugly and disgusting because he just doesn’t want me. I’ve been asking for months for things to get better and he thinks they are because we have sex once or twice a month now n yeah it’s an improvement but it’s not what I need. It annoys be because when I’m not in the mood I just let him because I feel happy that he even wants me. It’s so pathetic and I feel so humiliated. It’s not even about the sex anymore it’s just about feeling wanted or pretty. I have no idea what to do I feel like I just say the same points over and over and ask for the same things nothing happens. I don’t want to leave him because outside of sex everything is perfect he’s s perfect boyfriend but this bleeds into everything else and makes me so miserable and insecure all of the time.

TLDR: my boyfriend isn’t interested in me

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* This article was originally published here

doing long distance with my bf

me (f18) and my bf (m19) have been together for almost two years. we’re doing long distance starting tomorrow for two months. i feel a fucking put in my stomach. i didn’t think it would be so hard. i’m going to india for a month, then he’s going to bangladesh for a month. and i know how much that sucks. we have a happy, loving relationship. we never mistreat each other, we communicate, we do everything in our power to keep our relationship sustainable and healthy. regardless of all of this why is it so goddamn hard??
we see each other everyday, by our own accord. if we don’t have plans that day, he’ll ask to take me on a drive, or i’ll ask to get food with him. suddenly not seeing each other for two months feels so wrong. it feels like next week we’re supposed to go out like normal, but instead i’ll be 9.5 hours ahead. we’ve tried to find ways to cope. we’ve decided on a schedule and when we can talk to each other. yesterday, he surprised me with little moleskin notebooks we can journal in for the duration of the two months, so after we return we can read each other’s thoughts and potentially feel so much closer. :-( i don’t know why this is so hard. am i just being an angsty teen ? we’re trying so hard to make the time fly by but i’m on the verge of sobbing at any given moment. i just wanna be able to hug him whenever i want. today is the day before i fly and everything feels so fucking hopeless. i feel a pit in my stomach. please help me with some advice. how long did you do long distance for? what was the time difference? how was it? also, am i being completely overdramatic? no matter how much him and i rationalize it, i just miss him :/

TLDR- need advice on doing long distance with my bf for two months

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* This article was originally published here

How do people, relationships, experiences, and movements shape ... - Resilience

How do people, relationships, experiences, and movements shape ...  Resilience

* This article was originally published here

I (27f) am thinking about messaging an ex-best friend (26f) who I haven't spoken to in years and would like some advice

Let me preface this with a bit of background info: this is about my ex-best friend (let's refer to them as EBF going forward) who I've known since middle school and who I ended up living with all 4 years during college. EBF and I were great friends all throughout middle and high school, but once we started living together, our friendship started becoming a bit toxic. I started feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells around her and like I couldn't ever express my true self, and I began to notice that being around her more often than not left me feeling confused, down on myself, lesser than, like I was an inconvenience, etc. Eventually it got to the point where being around her started to become extremely uncomfortable and was impacting my self esteem and overall mental health, and as a result I started actively avoiding her as much as possible.

I'm not sure if living with her and dealing with all this toxicity perhaps left me with some sort of trauma/ptsd, because even in the years after we stopped living together, I'd still get uneasy and have this sort of negative gut reaction whenever we'd hang out. Even just seeing her posts pop up on my social media feed would make me feel really uncomfortable and sometimes give me flashbacks of that time. Over time, I sort of started distancing myself from her, and then eventually once covid happened I took advantage of the situation and finally cut her off for good.

It's been probably 3 years since we last talked, and I was fully convinced I'd never speak to her again. However, today I was listening to an old band we both used to like, and in doing so it brought back a lot of the good memories I have with her. For the first time in a while I found myself smiling while thinking back on our friendship, and for some reason this thought popped into my mind that I should reach out to her to see how she's doing. It was actually kind of surprising because I realized I no longer seem to have that same uneasy feeling when I think about her, like I have somehow healed over these past few years and no longer hold the same resentment towards her about what happened. At first I thought maybe it was just the nostalgia getting to me, but idk for some reason I really do think that my feelings and perspective on this situation has shifted, if that's even possible?

One thing I also want to mention is that another one of our mutual best friends who I am still in frequent contact with has told me before how she also feels that EBF can be kinda condescending to her too sometimes, and how she's considered living with her before but doesn't think she'd ever be able to actually do it because of how draining EBF is to be around. My brain is telling me this is a red flag and that I would be better off not re-opening that line of contact with EBF, but the forgiving/optimistic part of me wants to believe we could be friends again, even if we only talk occasionally.

I guess the reason I made this post is because I'm not quite sure what this means or what I should do moving forward. I do still have love for EBF and care about her and hope that she's happy and doing well. I do want to text her, but I'm just not sure if it's the best/smartest idea because I think I've finally healed and I don't want to potentially re-ignite those bad feelings and/or subject myself to any further trauma. It's like on the one hand I'm open to giving our friendship another chance, but at the same time I don't want to unnecessarily bring someone back into my life who might potentially do the same hurtful things as before. So I don't really know what to do.

What do y'all think I should do? Has anyone here been in a similar situation before? Any tips/advice would be very much appreciated.

Tldr; I've been thinking about getting back in touch with my ex-best friend who I was in a toxic friendship with (which ended up significantly impacting my self-esteem and mental health for many years). Reason being is that today I happened to listen to an old band we both used to enjoy and it brought back a lot of my good memories of us together and made me realize I no longer hold resentment or any negative feelings towards her or the situation anymore. I do still love and care about her despite everything and would like to get back in touch with her, but I also don't want to potentially re-ignite the issue or cause any further trauma. What should I do?

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* This article was originally published here

My bf (25M) hurt my feelings and he apologized but I (24F) still feel hurt

For context we have been dating for about 6 months and have been serious for 3 and haven’t had any spats until now.

I recently got my wisdom teeth out so I can hardly open my jaw. My boyfriend looks at me and goes “I need you to recover”. I said “It’s because I look like a chipmunk, huh?” he replied with “No, so you can brush your teeth better”…. I instantly had tears in my eyes and brushed my teeth a second time in a row.

He kept saying sorry and hugging me and eventually I told him to just think before he speaks next time and that it’s fine but honestly? That messed me up. I am in so much pain and I have my boyfriend basically telling me my breath stinks.

I’ve already told him how that made me feel, etc but I am still so bothered by it. I hate to rehash things after I said it was fine but I feel so embarrassed and gross now.

TL;DR - I got my wisdom teeth out and my boyfriend told me he wants me to recover soon so I can “brush my teeth better”.

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* This article was originally published here

Am I (F26) wrong for wanting my bf (M26) to text me.

Story here is really simple. My boyfriend has never been a guy who's been good at texting me . That hasn't been a problem for me until recently, because he moved country. He calls me maybe once a week, and will give an occasional text, if I text him first, that said not always that he even answers, and sometimes he can spend 1-2 days to answer. Our plan is that I will move with him, but I'm feel a bit left in the dark. I tried to tell him last time we spoke that he's a dry texter, but he just said that that's just who he is. I'm I wrong for wanting him to communicate more? I'd just like a text a day asking how I am or a good night text.

TL;DR long distant boyfriend is horrible at texting or communicating with me. Am I wrong for being upset by this?

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* This article was originally published here

My (34m) boyfriend has a low libido, and I (28f) am sexually frustrated.

As the title says, it's becoming an issue and I feel horrible about it. We've been dating for about a year. He's wonderful in literally every other aspect, the perfect boyfriend, but he's got an extremely low libido. We have sex maybe once every month, if I'm lucky, and when it does happen it's usually initiated by me, which makes me a little bit frustrated because I really want him to initiate.

I know this isn't fair to him. I live in Japan, work at an American company, but he's Japanese. His work environment is more strenuous. He works a tough job, with extremely long hours, and it's harder for him. If he can't get it up he can't get it up. I never want to force him into sex, because that's not pleasurable for me or him. I'd never want to pressure him. I've conveyed that to him and told him that I understand, and that I don't love him any less. I've Googled solutions. I've tried buying sex toys, masturbating on my own to help with my sexual urges, and hoping he'll get involved. However, last night, something happened that really hurt me.

I was in bed, touching myself, and he didn't offer to help or didn't seem interested at all. That's fine, I'm not expecting him to. But when I glance over, he's looking at a pornographic web comic instead. That really hurt me. I thought, "I'm over here touching myself, but that's more interesting?"

We got in an argument and he apologized profusely, saying he thought I wanted to be left alone, that he thinks I'm sexy and its his problem, but it's still bothering me. I don't know what to do. I know he's being completely sincere. He loves me, and I love him, but my needs aren't being met in this aspect.

If I'm being honest, I'm fairly attractive. I'm not worried about how I look being a factor in this, but this situation is making me doubt myself. I really don't want to break up with him. That's not even on my mind. No one has understood me as well as he has, but this is making me frustrated... I feel horrible. I just want to see if anyone else has experienced this and has any insight.

Tl;dr: my boyfriend has a low libido and it's driving me crazy.

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* This article was originally published here