As the title says, it's becoming an issue and I feel horrible about it. We've been dating for about a year. He's wonderful in literally every other aspect, the perfect boyfriend, but he's got an extremely low libido. We have sex maybe once every month, if I'm lucky, and when it does happen it's usually initiated by me, which makes me a little bit frustrated because I really want him to initiate.
I know this isn't fair to him. I live in Japan, work at an American company, but he's Japanese. His work environment is more strenuous. He works a tough job, with extremely long hours, and it's harder for him. If he can't get it up he can't get it up. I never want to force him into sex, because that's not pleasurable for me or him. I'd never want to pressure him. I've conveyed that to him and told him that I understand, and that I don't love him any less. I've Googled solutions. I've tried buying sex toys, masturbating on my own to help with my sexual urges, and hoping he'll get involved. However, last night, something happened that really hurt me.
I was in bed, touching myself, and he didn't offer to help or didn't seem interested at all. That's fine, I'm not expecting him to. But when I glance over, he's looking at a pornographic web comic instead. That really hurt me. I thought, "I'm over here touching myself, but that's more interesting?"
We got in an argument and he apologized profusely, saying he thought I wanted to be left alone, that he thinks I'm sexy and its his problem, but it's still bothering me. I don't know what to do. I know he's being completely sincere. He loves me, and I love him, but my needs aren't being met in this aspect.
If I'm being honest, I'm fairly attractive. I'm not worried about how I look being a factor in this, but this situation is making me doubt myself. I really don't want to break up with him. That's not even on my mind. No one has understood me as well as he has, but this is making me frustrated... I feel horrible. I just want to see if anyone else has experienced this and has any insight.
Tl;dr: my boyfriend has a low libido and it's driving me crazy.
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