Steps to build better relationship with yourself Hindustan Times
* This article was originally published here
Monday, June 12, 2023
Sunday, June 11, 2023
Boyfriend [24M] doesn't really support me [24F] in my hobby
A bit of a weird argument I'm having with my bf.
We have been on and off long distance for 2.5 years now while he completes his degree abroad. The last time we met physically was a year ago, so we manage by video calling, sending photos of our day, watching movies, etc.
I dance for a hobby and maybe once or twice a month I'll send him a video of a choreography I worked on, or a cover I did of somebody else's choreo. I only send him ones that I'm really really happy with, because he's not much into dancing and I don't want to force my hobby onto him. I just thought it would be nice to show him clips I'm really happy with.
He watches my videos on mute... because he says the type of music (usually pop, hip hop) is not his style and he just doesn't like the songs. But he says he really appreciates my dancing and says I keep improving.
Bear in mind, my clips are maximum 3 mins long-- but usually just 1 minute. Again, I only send him a clip like once a month.
I told him that him muting my videos is absolutely ridiculous because it's literally just one minute of audio. The whole point of my dancing is that it syncs to the music. I put effort into making sure the music comes to life through my dancing so what's the point? I'm not a mime. Lol
He composes music for a hobby so he is very picky about music and I know he's more informed than me in terms of what constitutes a good beat, lyrics, etc. I get that. I do. But is it that painful for him to suck it up and listen to 1 minute of a generic pop song to support me?
He says that I'm forcing him to do something that he doesn't want to-- I.e listen to music he doesn't want to. I said okay. Then I'll just stop sending you clips of my hobby. He said that's fine with me.
When he sends me clips of his music, I listen all the way through even if it isn't what I normally listen to. He is incredibly talented and I try to support him as best as I can. Is it unfair of me to expect him to support me in that way? Or am I just forcing him to support my hobby? Being in a LDR I thought something like this would just make sense but now I don't know anymore.
TLDR; I send my bf videos of my hobby, dancing. He watches these videos on mute and does not understand why I find that ridiculous. I feel like I'm crazy.
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* This article was originally published here
Saturday, June 10, 2023
19m - my new gf, 20f, wants to go on holiday with her ex as friends
I recently got into a relationship with a girl who just came out of one. They had booked a holiday today and couldn't cancel it, so are talking about just going as friends. She asked if I'd be okay with it to which I said no, I would probably end the relationship. She is upset that I am not letting her continue her friendship with the ex (btw I wouldn't have a issue with them seeing each other for like coffee or something) Am I in the wrong?
Tldr - my new gf wants to holiday with her ex as friends and is upset I don’t want her to
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* This article was originally published here
Friday, June 9, 2023
My gf (23F) is pissed that I (25M) cheated, but I was DRUNK when I did it
So I ended up sleeping with a Woman while drunk and told my gf bc honesty is the best policy and she IMMIDIETLY dumps me hangs up the phone, and about 20 minutes later she comes by to get all of her stuff, and when trying to explain to her she just ignores me, and once she's done packing leaves the house.
I think this is super unfair yeah I cheated, but I was drunk and out of my mind. She could have easily talked to me about this and we could make some kind of deal, but instead she was stubborn about it and couldn't be understanding I was willing to have a conversation and she wasn't. Was what I did that deep? I was super drunk and was surprised when I had woke up the next morning
tl;dr slept with a Woman when drunk and gf dumped me without even trying to talk it out
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* This article was originally published here
Thursday, June 8, 2023
Crap, I (27M) miss my Ex(27F)
TL;DR Im maried but i missed my ex after a facebook notification for her birthday popped up.
Im married to my wife (27F) of 3 years with a 1y/o child.
So today is my Ex's birthday so a notification popped up on facebook. This causes a tidal wave of emotion memories and many things. I love my wife and cherish my marriage, and I'd hate for this to affect what i have.
I hate that i miss my Ex. I know its probably a fleeting thing but it seems every other month or year these feelings surface up and i cant bare myself to discuss this with my wife.
Perhaps there are unresolved things ? I dont know. I could really use some help . Cheers.
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* This article was originally published here
Wednesday, June 7, 2023
Tuesday, June 6, 2023
Advice on halted relationships
This will be a long one so strap in.
TL;DR - Me and my boyfriend (32M 32F) have been together 3 yrs, everything is otherwise affectionate (cuddles, kisses, stroking my body etc) but the sex stopped after 9 months of being together. He still avidly watches porn a few times a week, just for context (not just videos, he was paying for OF as well, but has stopped it seems).
It all started great on the relationship part until his parent died of a long term illness, around the time we stopped being phyiscal and we moved to his home town in washington to be closer to his family, as we were long distance before.
My OH struggles with his mental health and this (obviously) made it worse, of course it would. He has also gained some weight and has health issues as a result, making him not want to go and do things together because his body hurts too much. I feel broken, lonely and self conscious, i’ve cried to him more than once, told him how the no sex, but porn watching is really affecting me and i dont feel wanted and i don’t feel like we’re really together and he just says he’s not in the mood for sex, his back is painful, and he hates himself and the world. He says i love you so much, i couldn’t do life without you but i’m sorry i just can’t be intimate with you rn.
It’s been a year and a half and we have had sex a couple of times, even though it didn’t feel like he wanted too, more to to keep me happy because I initiated it, after he said i don’t initiate enough. The porn watching is what really upsets me, but he doesn’t see it as a problem and in the heat of the argument said stop being jealous of girls on a screen, which he apologised for after things had calmed down. He always sees my side when we talk about it but nothing changes.
Do you think he’s just comfortable in this relationship and doesnt feel the need to break up with me or is he genuinely struggling. I moved my whole life and left my friends and family hours away to be with him and I’m struggling to know if i’m wasting my time. I know i’m probably the closest thing to answering this but i need outside opinion. I’ve been cheated on before and struggle with trust and my own self confidence so i’m on the fence about whether it’s genuinely over between us, but he knows how to say the right things to keep me here or i’m self sabotaging. Please help
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* This article was originally published here
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