Is my friend getting catfished/scammed?

I have a friend (25M) who met a girl (19F) on a dating app/website. They have been talking online for three months and have FacedTimed and he has confirmed she is a real person. They supposedly even talk on the phone every night. He booked a flight to Canada to visit her next week (we are on the East Coast). Based on the information he has given me, I’m very skeptical of her intentions.

• Her family owns a very successful restaurant and they have a large sum of money. But she hasn’t given him the name of the restaurant to confirm (for “privacy reasons”).
• She claims she has people after her and her family because of their wealth/business.
• She has social media (Instagram), but her mom created the account and won’t share it with him (for “privacy reasons”). She claims she will give him access to her phone and social media after they meet in person.
• She has offered to show him a video tour of her house to verify her wealth, but when he brought it up, she deflected and became aggressive towards him.
• She is going to pick him up at the airport or they will meet at a public restaurant.
• They only talk on Discord and Snapchat. He doesn’t have her phone number or e-mail address. She also shares her Snapchat account with her friend.
• She was supposed to come visit him here, but her parents wouldn’t allow it, so he is going to her instead. However, her parents let her travel internationally with her assistant, who is a male. They supposedly just went to Europe. However, she didn’t send him any pictures until after the trip because her phone got taken away by her mom and she was using her assistant’s phone.
• She lives with her family in Vancouver, but she is supposedly driving with her friend to Regina for 18 hours to hang out with him for a week at her own house (he booked a hotel room).

Whenever we tell him how sketchy this sounds, he claims that she is not like us common folk and that she has these protocols for security/privacy reasons. What are the odds that he is getting catfished/scammed? He says she has never asked him for money or gifts.

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TL;DR: My friend met a girl online and he is flying across the continent to see her. She has no Internet presence and we cannot confirm anything this girl has said.

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* This article was originally published here

How do I (F20) politely leave a group of friends of 7?

I met them all in 2019 when I was in high school, we quickly created this little group and everything was perfect. But since covid and confinement, and then our respective studies, we have moved away. We still have this discussion group on whatsapp but no one talks except to organize activities together but for years we have not been able to see each others anymore because everyone is too busy. I speak to only one person in private message very rarely, and for most of them absolutely never. I just feel like we keep some semblance of contact out of habit but I've grown up, I'm not the same anymore, and I don't feel connected to them anymore.

How do I politely walk away from them? I don't know what to do

tl;dr: How do I leave my old group of friends with whom I feel like I speak (very rarely) just out of habit?

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* This article was originally published here

Am I (28M) his insurance or he's (26M) just unable to tell me to go?

Hey, this might be longer to read and I appreciate everyone's time beforehand. But I'm confused of my ex's behavior. I'd love to hear your POVs, thoughts,... I appreciate it alot.

My ex, 26yo guy, nerdy, scientist, geeky, cute, passionate about his hobbies, gamer, Introverted, comes from loving family, idealistic and creative, empathic and emotional guy (yet so super cold and distanced towards me after the break up). Me 28y, sensitive and emotional, nerdy, business guy, extroverted 68%, active planner, dreamer, loyal and supportive, comes from bad family surroundings, heartwarming and still in love obviously. We were both our first big love and relationship.

We broke up 10m ago, in a good faith. We've had 4,5y long relationship, we were a very cute and adorable couple, we've had many stuffs in common, attracted to each other alot, yet we've had our ups and downs and communication issues about stupidities... (selfishness, sometimes demanding or grumpiness). We broke up in a agreement as we were back then frustrated from each others behavior and also because of a difficult season we both have had at works, etc.... So we kind of a, gave up I'd say. Soon later I realized what's he worth to me and that I don't want to lose him. However, he was fine with the decision of breaking up, felt like we r not supposed to be together, rather friends. When I told him that back there, I hurted him as he didn't expect me to lay all my emotions on him and I was very dramatic there tbh and made a "scene".

He needed space back then from me.

After a gap of some time. We've tried being friends, agreeing, seeing where it leads.... (me hoping to be in a relationship with him again, which I did mention and he always said, don't bet on it but we'll see, there might be chance...) but it didn't work, from my side.... I always ended up asking about us... I told him some time later, on our trip together, that I lied and being friends is hurting me and I'm constantly depressed, thinking of him, hurted, missing him super much etc...... Back then when I told him that, he looked at me with glossy eyes, while I cried softly, and he said, he wishes to be friends and we'll see if we make it back (he mentioned that many times).

But I told him, as much as I respect his decisions, he must respect mine which is that I can't suffer anymore by being friends. I want him to take some time to reconsider whether we try, truly, or we forget about each other smh.... I told him, begged him to be direct to me and not to rub honey around my mouth, that I don't want to live in hopes and I can take it... He nodded. I don't want to push him to decide into my favor, but I also want to get rid of this pain and I believe we can make it work and be happy together. (Am I the selfish guy here?)

He said he will think of it and let me know how he decided. Back then when we've last seen each other, I was supposed to take my bike from his place and he was like "you can take it next time"... (Another sign of him wanting to see me again?).

Since then, nothing. I texted him two weeks later just to see if he thought of it and he said he haven't decided yet, that he needs some more time to think it through and he promises to let me know...

Well, that was another month and I blocked him being hurted and "on hold" (I didn't want to be able to see his socials)... I know as he's introverted he takes time to think things through and is sensitive and ..... Yeah, I don't want to excuse him, I'm also a human being right? However, if I asked him to be honest with me and end my suffering, and he says he doesn't want me to suffer and "needs time to think it through"... Why did he never tell me directly his "no" ? What's happening here? Am I absolutely not on his mind or is he afraid to be honest to me to reveal his emotions? Other then that, I feel like moving on is best for me (as I'm wasting my time obviously), but he's Incalculably valuable to me, he is a specific person and a little "weirdo" which I like him alot for, one has no idea how much. I care for him incredibly much as he basically was my family.

Back then, I was grumpy because of stuff hapenning in my life (work crisis) selfishly expecting his support and not thinking of him having his own things to deal with. (Guess it was too much for him back then) Sometimes I was needy or demanding towards him, invading his introverted bubble, not respecting his boundaries. I can see he's scared of that hapenning again. Sadly, I learned how to maintain all of that after the break up thanks to some reading, Psychotherapies, learning about myself better.... Sometimes people realize their mistakes when it's too late and honestly, he had his bugs too. But I can see he was best of a boyfriend to me when I was able to maintain these boundaries as I could see when he felt respected, loved and supported, he was able to return his love multiple times back.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, don't hasitate to be direct, I need it. Though I think I'll always think of him as my soulmate.

Just to add, we never kissed or anything since the breakup. For him, it's not right and he seems to not be thinking of me sexually or anything as we broke up.

TLDR: I want to get back together with my ex but he's unable to tell me directly his decision and takes his time to think it through, but haven't decided yet...

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* This article was originally published here

Queenie and Jacob Are Harry Potter's Best Romance - CBR - Comic Book Resources

Queenie and Jacob Are Harry Potter's Best Romance  CBR - Comic Book Resources

* This article was originally published here

F27 and m27 with completely different views on sex and intimacy. Does sex naturally come from being kind, sweet, and going out of your way for your partner or does sex need to happen in order to want to be good to your partner ?

My partner and I have completely different views of this. He tells me he can’t give me what I need on an emotional level unless he’s getting sex. That means he can’t and doesn’t want to go out of his way for me, saying kind things to me, or help me out with things unless it leads to sex. He says he doesn’t want to put the work in unless it’s going to result in something.

I, on the other hand, feel that being kind and sweet to one another is a prerequisite to sex. I don’t want to be having sex with someone who’s not treating me correctly. He says it’s my responsibility to be fucking him and that I owe him sex because I’m the only person he can get it from.

TLDR: Am I wrong for thinking emotional connection and build up are what leads to sex? Is it crazy that my partner expects me to give him sex in order for him to want to put effort into treating me how I want to be treated ?

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* This article was originally published here

He (55m) is going to break up with me (48f) unless I move in with him and I'm torn.

We've been together for 6 years and our history is a mess. We lived together and it wasn't great. He had a great job and my contract had just ended so I wasn't working. Instead I helped him a lot with his business (at his request) and the general running of the house.
He had rented us a big house, a lot of vacations, a lot of drama. We fought a lot. For my part, I came into the experience expecting our relationship as a couple living together would be one way, but it was marred by so many issues. A lot of resentment built up. It became clear that he dealt with conflict by "micro cheating" (texting/flirting with other women). That's a huge trigger for me so we would fight more. He ended up having an affair 3 year ago and I moved out. I've come to realize he's very vulnerable to these situations because he seems to require a lot of attention. I think I know better now how to handle him with regards to this and what makes him tick.
We have stayed together but we haven't lived together since then. Our relationship is also a lot more "platonic" now. We hold hands and cuddle but very rarely have sex. This is due to so much resentment and pain that hasn't been properly dealt with.
Current situation:

- If I don't move in with him, he said it will be over. He doesn't want to live like this anymore (it's been 3 years since I moved out). He says there's no way he would ever cheat on me again...he doesn't want to go through that hell again or cause me so much pain. For my part, I'm fairly sure I could contribute to making our relationship better. I can see ways I could handle situations better within our relationship and I can see mistakes I made from when we lived together.
- But at the same time, I'm very scared I'll be making a mistake either way. If I don't move in, I feel very strongly I'll likely never be in a relationship again (just trust me...I'm nearing 50, time hasn't been the kindest to me, I'm a total introvert and I don't go out so there's nowhere to meet anyone). But if he cheated on me again, I'd be simply destroyed. I also am afraid I'll be back in a similar situation as before (non-stop arguing, him blaming me for everything to do with the house but now I'll also be working full time, finding out he's flirting with someone at work or texting women, etc).
I am wondering what steps to take here. I'm on the fence about just breaking up and facing my future alone, or if I should agree to move in and make marriage counselling a regular part of our next year. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?
tldr: I have to decide whether to move back in with my partner or break up.

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* This article was originally published here

I (34f) think me and my friend (34f) have a mutual crush

I'm starting to think that my friend (34f) and I (34f) have a mutual crush on each other. We met in the beginning of this year, never spoke about being attracted to women just guys. I like our friendship and that is why I'm trying to be just a friend. We talk about light and deep subjects, we laugh and we like to practice sports together. I find her funny, smart, grounded and just the right amount of being crazy and enjoying the life. She is also very good-looking and that was confirmed by my other friends.

So I have a "small crush" on her. The thing is I wouldn't be paying much attention to my crush-related feelings but I think she flirts with me in some ways. She doesn't compliment me or touch me a lot, but it happens sometimes and she holds me in high regard intellectually-wise and she thinks I'm caring. I consider myself quite decently looking and in the last couple of months a few friends and aquintances (even her boyfriend) told me I have a great body, so let's say at least I have a fit body (I practice sports on a regular basis). So because of her boyfriend I don't want to make any moves and I just try to be a good friend and treat her as a close friend with only platonic feelings. Regarding flirting she likes to spend time (and I like it as well) with me and it happened in the past she changed her prior plans with her bf to meet with me, sometimes alone and sometimes with my friends. We laugh and tease each other. Anyway, in the last few days I think her body language towards me was really flirty and it was difficult to not look at her in a more physical way. We went to a beach (not our first time) and she wanted my towel to be put on hers, so we laid pretty close. We spent the whole day together. On the beach this time she was playing with her hair from time to time and exposed her underarms and her chest a lot. For example when standing in front of me she just lifted her arms and put her hands behind her head for a while or on the towel she was lying on the side and she would flip her hair so she had her hair just on one side and her chest was more visible and brushed her hair for a few seconds. I guess she is a happy how her cleavage looks and I must say I glance at it from time to time without thinking because it indeed looks good (I wore my sunglasses). She brushes my hands from time to time, but lately she started to touch my hair. There have always been accidental touches between us, like she touches my hands or she touches my legs with her legs. If we are in a group we always find a bit of time to spend together without others. Lately I proposed her to something with a couple of friends and she said she prefers to do things together were there are not many other people. There are more signals she likes me in some way, but recently I was surprised a little how much she "showed off" her body and flirty body language when we were together because I think she knows she is good-looking but she's not the type of girl who wants everyone looking at her too much.

I'm not sure if I should try to protect myself somehow in case she (involuntarily) leads me on? Not sure if she is playing with me (she is mature and I believe she doesn't like to hurt people she cares about)? I'm not sure if it's just a regular friendly interaction or there is something going on, but at the same time I don't think she deliberately wants to lead me on. But I do think we both like the attention we get from each other and we like to spend time together.

Tl;dr I have a small crush on my friend. I'm fine with being platonic friends, but I think there is some tension and it results in flirting with each other.

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* This article was originally published here