F27 and m27 with completely different views on sex and intimacy. Does sex naturally come from being kind, sweet, and going out of your way for your partner or does sex need to happen in order to want to be good to your partner ?

My partner and I have completely different views of this. He tells me he can’t give me what I need on an emotional level unless he’s getting sex. That means he can’t and doesn’t want to go out of his way for me, saying kind things to me, or help me out with things unless it leads to sex. He says he doesn’t want to put the work in unless it’s going to result in something.

I, on the other hand, feel that being kind and sweet to one another is a prerequisite to sex. I don’t want to be having sex with someone who’s not treating me correctly. He says it’s my responsibility to be fucking him and that I owe him sex because I’m the only person he can get it from.

TLDR: Am I wrong for thinking emotional connection and build up are what leads to sex? Is it crazy that my partner expects me to give him sex in order for him to want to put effort into treating me how I want to be treated ?

submitted by /u/sightimesathousand
[link] [comments]

* This article was originally published here