I [21F] and my bf [24M] have been dating for almost 4 years and moved into a new apartment about 2 weeks ago and it's been a mix of emotions. We've both been studying the whole time we've been dating, and now that we've both graduated we got an opportunity to rent an apartment that my boyfriend's aunt and uncle owns. This apartment is bigger than our last one and it fits us both really well; I get my own gaming and drawing corner, and he gets a big room to record music in.
Now to the problem: We've always had a bit of an issue with keeping our home tidy. It's not on a serious hoarder-like level, but you can almost always find used dishes here and there, empty fastfood bags in the kitchen, dust and dust bunnies everywhere, overflowing trash bin, (and my biggest pet-peeve) empty containers of "microwaveable food" on the counter, not in the trash bin.
In our defense, I want to mention that during our time dating and living together I've worked weekend and night-shifts in retail while my boyfriend studied full time and took student loans instead to be able to afford everything. During the last year I think both of us have gotten a bit depressed and burnt out from various stuff. I graduated last fall and kept working at my then job in retail which wasn't a good place for me. I also god diagnosed with ADD when I was 17 and haven't gotten to it with trying out medication for it, which boosts the depression quite a bit. I now have a new job which I like a lot better but I think I still haven't had time to rest up from my previous job which has resulted in severe depression and anxiety the last couple of weeks.
My boyfriend also worked really hard all winter to finish his degree and thesis. This also took a toll on him, but he at least has now found a job that he will be starting in a few weeks which I hope he will like.
During the last year and a half I've been going down a spiral of "laziness" and just general emptiness. I don't have any energy to cook or eat a decent meal, if I eat anything decent it's often a plate of plain pasta and maybe some meatballs or chicken which my boyfriend makes for me. Other than that it's often fast food and snacks. This results in the fast food bags in the kitchen. My boyfriend also often just buys "micro-pizzas", throws them in the microwave, and often leaves the packaging from them laying beside the microwave. Since I'm also too tired I also often leave used dishes on the kitchen table and in the sink instead of the dishwasher. This is probably what started it all.
Now back to the move; we moved the last boxes and furniture 2 weeks ago and a lot of it still hasn't found a place. All of our clothes are in a huge pile on the floor in our bedroom because we haven't gotten around to fixing shelves for the wardrobes. I have to step over boxes in the kitchen and living room because none of us have gotten around to unpacking, but everytime I look at all the boxes and bags I just feel a big lump in my stomach and can't find myself to getting started, I feel exhausted before I've even begun. My boyfriend is also repainting a couple of windows (the work is taken off of the rent) which is taking a long time because of the many layers of paint that they require, so the unpacking is sort of my job now.
Always seeing all of the boxes and being in a new place has made me easily irritated and feeling down all the time. I know nothing justifies it, but it makes me snap at my boyfriend, like really snap. We've never fought as much as we've done the last month. I get so annoyed when he leaves trash everywhere, and when I point it out, he starts nagging about the used dishes, the moving boxes, the windows and that he's also tired. Even the smallest things like dropping something on the floor or accidentally hitting my knee or finger or something can ruin the rest of the day.
Today was the first day that I felt like taking on a bit of stuff, but after cleaning out a bit of trash, emptying the bin, and failing to move a spare heavy mattress I just lost all interest.
I love my boyfriend, but I wish I could just snap my fingers and make everything go in its right place. I'm so scared that he'll get sick of all my arguing and yelling, but I can't help it. I really don't know what to do. Any input?
TD;LR: Boyfriend and I are both depressed and sorth of burnt out and have just moved into a new apartment. Can't find myself to unpack everything and we both get irritated and argue all the time.
[link] [comments]
* This article was originally published here
No comments:
Post a Comment