Disclaimer: This is a re-upload, but I'm modifying a few things. Please refrain from personally attacking my character, as you do not know the entire story. I'm simply seeking some different perspectives. If the story offends or upsets you, please refrain from commenting at all.
I will begin with our ages: I am a 25 year old woman, and my boyfriend is 23. We have been together for almost 2 years.
As for some relevant backstory, I’ve had a few relationships in the past, but I am my boyfriend’s first proper girlfriend. I prefer not to discuss personal issues publicly, so this post will be taken down shortly after I receive my answers.
My boyfriend and I got together under unique circumstances, as I was initially dating his friend for over a year. To keep it brief, I ended things with his friend to be with him. The breakup with his friend wasn’t excessively messy, and I even remained on speaking terms with my ex for a little while, until recent events unfolded.
For about a year, my ex and his group of friends, with whom we used to hang out, stopped talking to my boyfriend completely. However, a significant argument occurred between my boyfriend, which led to the group reestablishing contact with him while completely cutting off communication with me. It’s important to note that this argument had nothing to do with the group itself.
For over 6 months now, my boyfriend has been spending time with this friend group, including my ex, while I have been completely excluded and isolated from any events they have. This has personally affected me, as it’s hurtful to feel cast aside by my boyfriend and his friends due to personal grudges.
I have repeatedly asked my boyfriend to initiate a conversation with these people, in hopes that I could be reintroduced into the friend group, but unfortunately, this has not progressed at all.
I even attempted to privately message my ex and another member of the group, hoping to open a dialogue, but they completely ignored me.
The best way to describe the situation is akin to living in a room that is flawless with its amazing decor, fancy furniture, and rare paintings. However, right in the middle of the floor, there’s a bag of steaming crap that my partner is refusing to clean up. It may be a significantly small parcel, but it still stinks up the room!
I feel like this group has designated me to be the scapegoat for past arguments, probably because they are still subconsciously angry at my boyfriend for choosing to be with me. It’s quite perplexing, and I don’t know how to handle this situation. I love my boyfriend, and our relationship is perfect except for this clear barrier between me and his friends.
My question is, what would you do in my situation?
TLDR: What should I do about my boyfriend's friends isolating me from everything, because of an old grudge?
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* This article was originally published here
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