what can i (16f) do to get over severe jealousy and abandonment issues? im scared im going to self sabotage my relationship because of it

ok so for some background me and my girlfriend (also 16f) started dating almost 7 months ago, but weve been friends since 4th grade so we have a way closer bond and stronger connection with each other than most hs relationships

so basically i need help learning how to deal with jealously and abandonment issues, like it gets really bad sometimes

for example, she plays basketball and theres been times where ive cried (a lot) because she had to go to practice instead of hang out with me, and then ill start thinking a bunch of bad things about her teammates, like i genuinely do not like any of them at all, and this is a super dumb reasoning but in my head i feel like a lot of lesbians play basketball so the chances that someone else on the team is gay is actually kinda high, and if one of them is they might have a crush on her or try to ask her out or something, and i try to be nice whenever i talk to the other basketball girls but on the inside i cant help but hate them.

but its kinda like that whenever shes with anybody, and then also whenever im not with her my anxiety starts going crazy and ill start thinking about how she probably doesn't even like me that much and shes only dating me just to date someone, whereas with me like shes the only person i can see myself ever being with, like even marriage isnt enough i literally want to become a part of her (yes ik that sounds weird but idk how else to describe it)

and that kinda ties in to the abandonment stuff because im so terrified of not being with her, like i seriously dont know if i could live through a breakup with her. and then people will say that highschool relationships arent supposed to last and when i hear that i just completely break down, like i can already feel my hewr beating fatser and my breathing becoming more labored and my eyes are starting to tear up just from writing it down so im probably gonna get a panic attack soon now that its on my mmind and im thinking about it so much right now

but im just so scared that all my own issues are gonna end up causing problems, and i keep getting the feeling that im gonna self sabotage our relationship somehow, the worst thing i keep thinking about as far as this stuff goes is that if highschool relationships are supposed to end soon anyways, and i know that i wont be able to handle that, then i should just k myself now cause it'll be less painful than breaking up at some point in the future, and i dont actually wanna do it at all but the thought keeps popping up in my head

but yeah its like super early and my anxiety like scary bad right now so i cant rly think clearly so i forgot what else i was gonna say so hopefully this makes enough since cause i really need help

TL;DR: i get extremely jealous of everyone my girlfriend hamgs out with and im terrified of her leaving me at some point, and im scared that these issues are gonna cause problems in our relationship if i cant learn how to manage them better

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* This article was originally published here

What is modern monogamy? How it's saving some long-term relationships - USA TODAY

What is modern monogamy? How it's saving some long-term relationships  USA TODAY

* This article was originally published here

I rejected the breakfast my boyfriend made me because he stayed up all night

My boyfriend (m27) and I F(28) have opposite sleep schedules. We have been living together for about 1 year and we have had ups and downs. I wake up by 9 every day. He stays up until the earliest 4am and often times until 7 or 8am playing video games and doing god knows what else. He is constantly telling me he wants to change and I always tell him yeah I support you but I can't do it for you.

Today is Sunday. Last night I wasn't feeling well and he said he would clean up the dishes from dinner since I cooked. I went to bed around midnight and woke up at 9 to go for a run to find him in the kitchen. I said "You haven't slept yet huh" and he said "No I was doing the dishes and I went to the bakery to get us pastries. I made you breakfast." I said "Well I'm going running now." and I left the house. I was immediately enraged because I knew that this meant that he will now sleep the entire day, meaning I have to creep around our house silently and that I can't go in our room comfortably if I want to get clothes or something.

But weirdly the thing making me the angriest is the breakfast he made. I could see he felt rejected but I honestly feel like he did not do that for me, he did it so he will have something to defend himself if I get mad that he stayed up all night. Also the breakfast was eggs and toast and a glass of that sugary bottled iced tea. I drink coffee in the morning, he doesn't, so I think he just doesnt know how to make coffee. I would literally NEVER drink iced tea first thing in the morning. I also haven't eaten pastries in a year because they give me acid reflux. I am certain I have told him this a million times. I just feel like he does not understand me at all.

He could have done the dishes last night and slept by 2 or 3am, and woken up even by 11am or even noon and I wouldn't be pissed. (Also I found the dishes were not completely done and I spent 20 min this morning finishing them and wiping the counter/ cleaning the floor) I am so disappointed that this is my relationship. I feel really guilty because he is sweet and really patient about my own many flaws. I love so many things about him but I really cannot continue like this. I am losing respect for him even though he is financially stable thanks to some good investments and actually makes more money than I do. He just doesn't have to wake up and go to a job every day like me. I wonder if we are just too different. I'm scared to talk when he wakes up because I don't know how to frame my concerns. Any advice welcome

TLDR: Bf stayed up all night gaming, tried to make me breakfast but it was food I don't eat. He feels rejected and I feel misunderstood and unhappy.

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* This article was originally published here

GF LOVES ME BUT CANT DO LONG DISTANCE?

F23 M27.

We met eachother in summer and hang out literally every day for 2 weeks straight and went on dates etc. it started as a fling but as we both found out we fell for eachother. She was gonna move to another city and study there for 2 years. we both wanted to try long distance.

so we text/facetime everyday non stop for 24 days after she moved, she telling me how much she miss me and wish i was there, people asking her if she got a bf and she tells me she says yes.

she got covid 4-5 days before we had planned i was gonna visit her but i went anyway.

when we met after not seing eachother for 25 days the spark was still there, we had an awesome time and went on more dates, watched movies, made love, made dinner and talked about our feelings and said we love eachother many times, 1 week after i come home she facetime me crying saying she cant do it anymore because of the long distance.

She said she loves me, misses me, wishing i was there and that if it wasnt for the distance we would keep going and be together, that we are so good for eachother and that we have something real...She also said she hopes but cant promise that we find our way back together.

she comes back here in december for 3 weeks, im struggling rlly because she is rlly special and i never met someone like her and we both know we have something real, its just the distance ://

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TL;DR I (27M) should i just move on with my life or maybe meet her when she comes back in december and figure things out?

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* This article was originally published here

BP CEO Bernard Looney Steps Down as Past Relationships Come ... - Bloomberg

BP CEO Bernard Looney Steps Down as Past Relationships Come ...  Bloomberg

* This article was originally published here

House Call: Want longevity? Nurture your relationships. - The Spokesman Review

House Call: Want longevity? Nurture your relationships.  The Spokesman Review

* This article was originally published here

I need advice for dating someone with a very different financial situation

I need advice for dating someone with a drastically different financial situation

I'm 27F, he's 34M. We've been dating a little over a month, and finances have come up in conversation a few times, and I'm unsure how to approach it or what the best way to handle it is.

Sometimes he'll complain about something, and I'll recommend he get something that might help his problem, or I'll mention something I did/bought and he'll say "I wish I could afford that." Stuff like a new keychain, or a trip to the movie theater. Not crazy expensive stuff. He also is against the idea of me paying for our dates, so we don't go out.

I knew his job doesn't pay much, but yesterday he told me he only has $2 in the bank despite getting paid 3 days earlier. I know it's none of my business, so I didn't say anything. I have about $25k saved up, have a very good job, and budget thoroughly. I also have a retirement account with a few thousand in it. We had very similar childhoods and I live very frugally, so I don't think he knows how stable I really am.

I'm just looking for advice on how to approach this relationship, how to get him to let me pay for our dates, and if I should discuss finances with him. It seems way too early for that, but I want to be able to treat him occasionally! I don't look down on him at all for his financial situation, and I don't want him to find out that I'm not struggling and start thinking I look down on him at all. I hope this doesn't come off that way, I've never really talked about money with anyone but my ex, and i was broke a few years ago before getting my job. I know I'm fortunate and very lucky, I dropped out of high school and never thought I'd be in a good place. I really like this dude and want to handle this the right way.

Tl;dr: I have a decent savings, my boyfriend is broke. How can I make this relationship work?

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