My boyfriend (m27) and I F(28) have opposite sleep schedules. We have been living together for about 1 year and we have had ups and downs. I wake up by 9 every day. He stays up until the earliest 4am and often times until 7 or 8am playing video games and doing god knows what else. He is constantly telling me he wants to change and I always tell him yeah I support you but I can't do it for you.
Today is Sunday. Last night I wasn't feeling well and he said he would clean up the dishes from dinner since I cooked. I went to bed around midnight and woke up at 9 to go for a run to find him in the kitchen. I said "You haven't slept yet huh" and he said "No I was doing the dishes and I went to the bakery to get us pastries. I made you breakfast." I said "Well I'm going running now." and I left the house. I was immediately enraged because I knew that this meant that he will now sleep the entire day, meaning I have to creep around our house silently and that I can't go in our room comfortably if I want to get clothes or something.
But weirdly the thing making me the angriest is the breakfast he made. I could see he felt rejected but I honestly feel like he did not do that for me, he did it so he will have something to defend himself if I get mad that he stayed up all night. Also the breakfast was eggs and toast and a glass of that sugary bottled iced tea. I drink coffee in the morning, he doesn't, so I think he just doesnt know how to make coffee. I would literally NEVER drink iced tea first thing in the morning. I also haven't eaten pastries in a year because they give me acid reflux. I am certain I have told him this a million times. I just feel like he does not understand me at all.
He could have done the dishes last night and slept by 2 or 3am, and woken up even by 11am or even noon and I wouldn't be pissed. (Also I found the dishes were not completely done and I spent 20 min this morning finishing them and wiping the counter/ cleaning the floor) I am so disappointed that this is my relationship. I feel really guilty because he is sweet and really patient about my own many flaws. I love so many things about him but I really cannot continue like this. I am losing respect for him even though he is financially stable thanks to some good investments and actually makes more money than I do. He just doesn't have to wake up and go to a job every day like me. I wonder if we are just too different. I'm scared to talk when he wakes up because I don't know how to frame my concerns. Any advice welcome
TLDR: Bf stayed up all night gaming, tried to make me breakfast but it was food I don't eat. He feels rejected and I feel misunderstood and unhappy.
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