My bf and I have been LDR for 1.5 years, dating for 2 in person before that. I'm in Amsterdam, he's in the SF Bay Area. He got into a great grad school program there paid for by work, so it made sense for me to try to move back there. Now, I love Amsterdam. It's designed practically perfectly, I love how bikeable and human-friendly it is, and being able to travel Europe is amazing. So I did feel like I was giving up a lot here, especially because I'm 99% positive I want to return here one day to raise kids and I picture myself getting old here more than in the US. He was on the same page as that and knew how important it was to me, said he wants to move to Europe too when he's done with school (he's already an EU citizen). However, we were discussing this one day and he said that if he gets a job at the end of school that can afford him the lifestyle he wants in the US, he's not sure he'd be able to resist that, and that if I happened to get a job in Europe while he didn't, he doesn't know if he'd also move there with me if he doesn't get a job at the same time. This really shocked and deeply hurt me, as I had basically planned to give up living in this city I love for him, and to hear him say that he doesn't know if he'd make the same sacrifice really upset me, as I don't know how he could think of me as a life partner yet say that. Now I feel like I shouldn't go back for him if he wouldn't do something similar for me in the future. Is that wrong and immature of me to think? Should you only sacrifice something that the other partner is willing to sacrifice too?
TLDR: I was willing to make a sacrifice for my bf, but then learned he wouldn't necessarily make the same one. His stance makes me not want to sacrifice for him either. Is that fair or am I being stupid?
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