My (31F) bf (26M) is super clingy and is jealous of everyone. How to proceed?

As the title states, my partner has extreme abandonment issues and is jealous and weary of every male that even looks my direction. We’ve only been together a few months (~4) and It’s become so annoying that no matter how many “promises” he makes on changing behaviour, I’m not seeing the light at the end.

He had a terrible childhood from drug addict parents, being in the system and abuse at all angles. He used to be quite obese but has lost the weight so he does struggle with self esteem issues unfortunately. When he gets into a jealous mode he is never aggressive or angry, he reverts back to a kid and mopes with his head down and even cries. It was manageable at the beginning but recently it’s been worse. I work 12 hour days at an airport in an office and my supervisor (24M) sits directly behind me. A few days ago my bf seemed very inquisitive of him, asking his age, what he looks like etc. After I answered he said “I don’t have to worry about him do I??” I was FUMING!! About a day after that him and his friend group met up with mine at a festival, he immediately singles out one of my guy friends with dirty looks, moping and asked the same sort of question! Even if there was something to worry about (absolutely not) did he expect me to just say yes?! This is basically anytime we’re in a room with a male.

In terms of the clinginess, he has been getting better after I said it was a major issue. He will literally follow me around my house like a lost puppy, is always trying to do a “good deed” for me, and when I refuse the deeds he tells me to “stop trying to be so independent”. It could be something like he’s trying to help me change the cat litter, if I say nope I’ve got this, he gets upset. I could be hovered over the stove cooking and he will try to make it some passionate movie moment, while I’m there struggling not to burn my brows off cause he’s holding me over it.

I don’t want to break up with him but I also see no actions changing at all. Is there a better way to approach this? I’m not good at consoling upset people and don’t want to come off as dismissive. Thanks and sorry for the rant 😮‍💨

TL;DR How to have the hard conversation with a clingy and jealous bf without forever upsetting him

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